Climbing back on the wagon and following the light...

36jessica

After 21 months of absence, I'm back...not the way I would have hoped, though. In these past almost 2 years my life has gone through numerous changes...nothing I want to bore anyone with...nothing I want to use as an excuse...just the bottom line: I have failed myself, not only because I gained back all the weight I had previously lost (and then some), but because, once again, I failed to ask for help and support. I love this site and, in the past, there was always someone cheering me on as I made progress, but once I fell into the black pit, I was just too ashamed to ask someone to help me out and so I 'free fell' into my own personal hell. I'd like to point out that I'm like this in everything I do: I'm just too proud, too 'strong', to worried about others witnessing my failure to just let myself go.
My first thought, as I logged back on today, was to cancel my account and reappear as someone 'new'...Now, how cowardly is that? Then I decided that if I'm really going to make a change, I need to change my inside too -- no hiding, no pretending but just putting the 'ugly' out there for everyone to see. I reread what I wrote when I first opened my account 2 years ago and I still can't believe the strength and motivation I felt...I want that back! As I write, I see a glimmer of that light and I'm going to follow it...

JosieRawr

Good luck, you've taken the first step, now just keep it going

nornyb

We all have the good, the bad and the ugly (thank you Mr Eastwood) and accepting that about ourselves seems to be a huge step towards reaching the goals we set. I keep my diary open to everyone because I refuse to be ashamed of anything I do, if I have a high calorie day, for whatever reason, that is how it is. I log it and carry on to the next day. I know what I need to and what will happen if I don't follow through.

mizchubby69

The good news is ... you came back ,and you know that you can lose weight . This time focus on a change for life otherwise you will lose and gain again and again. Don't be hard on yourself, you CAN do this. Good on you for not deleting your account ,I like your attitude.

36jessica

Thank you all!