Help me, Help her!

IamOnMywayNow

My mother is coming to stay with me and my family for about 2 months. She is obese and has a multitude of health problems such as- high blood pressure, sleep apnea, congestive heart failure, pre diabetes, arthritis, and psoriasis. She is also on a lot of medication to combat those problems. We eat relatively healthy at my house and the reason she is coming is so that I can help her lose some weight so she can start moving more, get healthier and live longer. Right now she is in a cycle of not being able to move around much because she cant breath and not being able to breath well because she does not move around much. If she continues like this I am so afraid that I will lose her very soon:( I need some help on what her calorie amount should be. I do plan on helping her do some light sitting exercises for about 10-15minutes a day until she can start walking more and more. Here are her stats......

59 years old
5'2
358 lbs
Currently very sedentary

If anyone can help with calories that would be really appreciated!!

juliekins64

I think she should lose some weight before much activity is introduced.
My mom is obese and 51, she changed her eating habits and lost 50 since January 1st.
Now she is able to start exercising because she can move and breath better.

gabegrammy

give her a MFP acoount. See what calorie intake should be and hold her accountable. Good luck and please have her friend me if she wants..
Viki

LoosingMyLast15

if you eat healthy and she has no choice but to eat what you prepare then i would guess just changing her diet will help her drop some of her weight. you don't mention whether she is able to drive herself anywhere (ie she can go out and get her own food/fast food etc). is she is dependent on you to bring her to the grocery store/shopping/etc then you can show her how to shop for healthy food as well as show her how to cook healthy. good luck.

lauren3101

This is the info I pulled from fat2fit:

BMR - 2226
TDEE - Sedentary (little or no exercise, desk job) 2671

A 20% cut from that would put her at 2136 cals a day. Yes, that is below her BMR, but as she has a lot to lose and medical problems it wouldn't be the end of the world for her to eat below that in the beginning to get some weight off.

As for exercise, simply getting her to stand up from the sofa say 10 times in a row is going to get her heart racing. Sitting down exercises would be good too. When she has lost a little and is feeling more mobile, then you could introduce low-impact cardio, like walking.

Don't forget though that if you do introduce exercise you will need to recalculate her TDEE.

Hope this helps, good luck.

cougar2007

If she is wanting to lose weight I would suggest no more than 2,069 calories a day. It wouldn't hurt if she could get up and walk around and do some exercise too.

Let me know if you need help on a meal plan.

lizziebeth1028

My mother is coming to stay with me and my family for about 2 months. She is obese and has a multitude of health problems such as- high blood pressure, sleep apnea, congestive heart failure, pre diabetes, arthritis, and psoriasis. She is also on a lot of medication to combat those problems. We eat relatively healthy at my house and the reason she is coming is so that I can help her lose some weight so she can start moving more, get healthier and live longer. Right now she is in a cycle of not being able to move around much because she cant breath and not being able to breath well because she does not move around much. If she continues like this I am so afraid that I will lose her very soon:( I need some help on what her calorie amount should be. I do plan on helping her do some light sitting exercises for about 10-15minutes a day until she can start walking more and more. Here are her stats......

59 years old
5'2
358 lbs
Currently very sedentary

If anyone can help with calories that would be really appreciated!!

It's a wonderful thing that you are doing! :flowerforyou: Since your mother has so many health problems and medications and is already under a doctors care I would strongly advise you to consult with her Doctor to determine a healthy calorie goal for your Mom. Best wishes to you and your family!

RedneckMomma77

I think you are a wonderful person for doing this for your mother. Realize that this is going to be hard on all of you. She is taking a huge step by coming to you for any amount of time to try to learn how to do this on her own. Congratulate her on that fact. Below are the steps that I would take, if it were me.

1.) Talk with her Dr. to see if there is anything that he/she would recommend for her. I'm sure they have had this discussion before.
2.) Set up an account on here, for her. And teach her how to use it.
3.) Since she has problems breathing when exercising, start slow, maybe a leisurely walk for however long she can, without causing major issues. Just something to get her moving, and her heart rate up. If she has trouble with walking causing joint pain at this point, maybe riding a bike will work better for her.
4.) Be supportive, but not demanding. Nearly everyone that has lost weight in any amount didn't do it because it was demanded of them, but because they wanted it and had the support to do it.
5.) Teach her exercises that she can do while seated, so the pressure on her joints won't be so much.
6.) Be prepared for excuses, and try to determine if they are valid, or just an excuse. (Excuses are like @$$holes, everybody has them.)
7.) Teach her how to eat properly, don't just feed her whatever you and your family are eating, but explain why you eat that way. Knowledge is a powerful thing!
8.)Teach her how to grocery shop for the right items, but also that nothing is off limits as long as portion control is exercised.

Good luck and keep us posted on her progress.

IamOnMywayNow

Thanks everyone for all the advice and info. Her doctor wants her to eat 1500 cals a day and I know that amount is not enough. I know that I am not going to treat her like a child. I will not force her to do anything if she does not want to. If she wants fast food or other not so healthy things I will give her the calorie amount so she can fit it in once and awhile(we do eat fast food and other "junk" food every now and then).

I made her an account but she is not computer savvy at all. She has one of those "old" phones as she likes to call it, where she has to press actual buttons to make a call LOL. I will be the one putting in her calories and letting her know how many she has left after she eats something. She is in the mind set that she would have to eat nothing but salads and plain chicken to lose the weight. She also told me that me doing the Stronglifts program was not a good idea because it would put pressure on my ovaries and such while doing squats and deadlifting lol. She needs help and I want to be there for her.

I love my mama so much and I just want her to be here with me and my family for as long as she can.