Friends, how many of us have them.

AIZZO4
AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have read a few people profiles that say "please send me a message or I will not add" and "I will delete people who don't talk to me." Here are my thoughts/questions on that:

1. It’s your profile and you have every right to handle it the way you want to. If you want to delete someone, go ahead.

2. I understand not wanting to be part of a “collection” but it’s just your picture. So why is that a problem?

3. If you add a person and they never talk to you. What’s the big deal? They are just on your friends list.

4. What is the point of “cleaning” your friends list?

As always I am just a curious guy who likes to understand how different people think, that's all.
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Replies

  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    It's because their updates would show up in my newsfeed. And if your newsfeed is cluttered by the updates of people you never actually talk to, or have nothing in common with, you will most likely miss something from the people you do interact with.
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    I think some people wouldn't want people that aren't there to support them to see their updates and / or diary. I know I wouldn't.
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    I berate and belittle certain individuals on my feed. There are snitches out there...
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    'Cause it's my friends list.

    I try to have fun, but I also try to give love when needed. It's just me. And I don't want to be wasting time with some random person creepin' out to my pictures who never even bothers to say hi.

    Eff that.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    If you're not going to be active on my newsfeed, then I can't get to know you, encourage you, help you, and I have no idea if you're following my posts either. If I post something needing a suggestion or a bit of advice, and someone who doesn't take a minute to see what I'm about suggests a cleanse or cutting my carbs, then obviously they aren't keeping up with who I am.

    The more time I get to know the people on my friends list, the more I am encouraged. Besides, what's the point of having "friends" if you don't know them or like them or have anything at all in common?

    EDIT: AND BECAUSE IT'S MY FRIENDS LIST AND I'LL CUT IF I WANT TO! :flowerforyou:

    Now...stop being mean on the internet.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Because it gets very hard to keep up with everyone on my feed. I don't have a legitimate way to select some of the new people and having someone say something to me as to why they want to be friends is the only way I can arbitrarily make these decisions. Stranger A says "hello, I read your profile and....." Stranger B says "......" I have to go with Stranger A.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    1) none of this is a big deal.
    2) it boils down to personal preference which may not be able to be explained fully to others
    3) I like to interact with people at least occasionally, otherwise what's the point of being in a friends list
    4) I will also delete for other reasons but that's rare
    5) if someone doesn't like how I am if prefer they go elsewhere and be around people that suit them better
    6) if someone deletes me I feel spared because I trust that only those who suit me will be around me and if they're not then I don't need them. The universe works very simply and beautifully this way, by always showing me who is and is not supposed to be in my life.
    7) none of this is a big deal.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Friends mean something to me. If you're my friend, you're my friend. If you're a name on a list, you're not my friend.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    'Cause it's my friends list.

    I try to have fun, but I also try to give love when needed. It's just me. And I don't want to be wasting time with some random person creepin' out to my pictures who never even bothers to say hi.

    Eff that.

    eff that, I agree.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    If you're not going to be active on my newsfeed, then I can't get to know you, encourage you, help you, and I have no idea if you're following my posts either. If I post something needing a suggestion or a bit of advice, and someone who doesn't take a minute to see what I'm about suggests a cleanse or cutting my carbs, then obviously they aren't keeping up with who I am.

    The more time I get to know the people on my friends list, the more I am encouraged. Besides, what's the point of having "friends" if you don't know them or like them or have anything at all in common?

    EDIT: AND BECAUSE IT'S MY FRIENDS LIST AND I'LL CUT IF I WANT TO! :flowerforyou:

    Now...stop being mean on the internet.

    Please don't cut. I have a hard time supporting cutters. If you get the urge, please seek help.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    Do you thinks of the people on your list a "real" friends? Or just people with a common goal?
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    I like to have friends that stay active on MFP and that interact with me regularly, or at least have something interesting/knowledgeable to say in their feeds. I really only delete inactive people. On occasion I will delete someone that is annoying and/or I have absolutely nothing in common with.

    ETA: I deleted both my MIL and my sister because they are inactive. So I certainly don't discriminate. Lol
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    Real friends...seriously, I talk to them like I joking around with my pals while hanging out...maybe more fart jokes than IRL though
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    Do you thinks of the people on your list a "real" friends? Or just people with a common goal?

    Some of the people on my FL are "real" friends. Even if I haven't yet met them in person, I intend to. Others are just supportive people that I enjoy interacting with on the Internet.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    1. I don't delete someone unless they are openly criticizing me, and their goals and lifestyle is clearly different than mine... such as netting 500 cals daily on protein shakes. Someone like that and I are just going to butt heads.

    2. I have no problem sharing pictures, but just because most people don't doesn't mean those that do should be shamed for it. A picture is considered a private thing for some people.

    3. Some people want to have an active friend's list. It can be demoralizing to see "so-and-so has not logged in for 3 days" repeatedly, or see so-and-so commenting on other people's feeds but not yours.

    4. To delete people who have left MFP. Not much point in continuing to be friends with someone who hasn't logged in for over a month, when you could fill your FL with other active people.

    And now I ask a question of my own-- why does this seem to bother you so much?
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    Do you thinks of the people on your list a "real" friends? Or just people with a common goal?

    I feel the second way for the most part, although there are a few individuals I feel like I've grown connected with a little. But I only know 2 people on my FL in "real life".
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    1. I don't delete someone unless they are openly criticizing me, and their goals and lifestyle is clearly different than mine... such as netting 500 cals daily on protein shakes. Someone like that and I are just going to butt heads.

    2. I have no problem sharing pictures, but just because most people don't doesn't mean those that do should be shamed for it. A picture is considered a private thing for some people.

    3. Some people want to have an active friend's list. It can be demoralizing to see "so-and-so has not logged in for 3 days" repeatedly, or see so-and-so commenting on other people's feeds but not yours.

    4. To delete people who have left MFP. Not much point in continuing to be friends with someone who hasn't logged in for over a month, when you could fill your FL with other active people.

    And now I ask a question of my own-- why does this seem to bother you so much?

    I should clarrify, it does not bother me. Just curious.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    1. I don't delete someone unless they are openly criticizing me, and their goals and lifestyle is clearly different than mine... such as netting 500 cals daily on protein shakes. Someone like that and I are just going to butt heads.

    2. I have no problem sharing pictures, but just because most people don't doesn't mean those that do should be shamed for it. A picture is considered a private thing for some people.

    3. Some people want to have an active friend's list. It can be demoralizing to see "so-and-so has not logged in for 3 days" repeatedly, or see so-and-so commenting on other people's feeds but not yours.

    4. To delete people who have left MFP. Not much point in continuing to be friends with someone who hasn't logged in for over a month, when you could fill your FL with other active people.

    And now I ask a question of my own-- why does this seem to bother you so much?

    Great way of thinking.
  • lfergurson1
    lfergurson1 Posts: 137 Member
    For me I dont really bother with people who are not here for the real reasons I post on everyone at least once a week and have a few friends that I talk to daily for months now ... as far as are they my real friends...ummm not really they are ine pc... however some live local and if they became 'real friends ' I would treat them with kindness and dignity like I attempt to treat everyone. Mean people suck fake people probably suck even more. Again this is all personal preference people get to dictate their own cyber worlds.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    It gets harder and harder to interact with the people that I want to interact with when there's a bunch of randoms that don't participate on my friends list.

    For example every morning I wake up and perv on 1ConcreteGirl. I now have to sort through 4 pages of friends just to find her profile.
  • Whipppets
    Whipppets Posts: 267
    I delete people who do not log in for a few days, or if the newsfeed is all about their day and not about exercise..
    I have friends on my site who I see in person every day at the gym and then a few people who are super into fitness.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    It gets harder and harder to interact with the people that I want to interact with when there's a bunch of randoms that don't participate on my friends list.

    For example every morning I wake up and perv on 1ConcreteGirl. I now have to sort through 4 pages of friends just to find her profile.

    That makes sense.
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
    It gets harder and harder to interact with the people that I want to interact with when there's a bunch of randoms that don't participate on my friends list.

    For example every morning I wake up and perv on 1ConcreteGirl. I now have to sort through 4 pages of friends just to find her profile.

    Just tab her page. Problem solved. I do this a lot.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    I delete people because I want to.

    I'm mean like that.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    I delete people who do not log in for a few days, or if the newsfeed is all about their day and not about exercise..
    I have friends on my site who I see in person every day at the gym and then a few people who are super into fitness.

    Wow. You are a strict person....lol
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    I delete people because I want to.

    I'm mean like that.

    Hey, I ain't mad at ya.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    It gets harder and harder to interact with the people that I want to interact with when there's a bunch of randoms that don't participate on my friends list.

    For example every morning I wake up and perv on 1ConcreteGirl. I now have to sort through 4 pages of friends just to find her profile.

    Just tab her page. Problem solved. I do this a lot.
    I just downloaded your pictures on my desktop guys. I can still get my creep on when the internet is down. Pro level right here.
  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
    If you're not going to be active on my newsfeed, then I can't get to know you, encourage you, help you, and I have no idea if you're following my posts either. If I post something needing a suggestion or a bit of advice, and someone who doesn't take a minute to see what I'm about suggests a cleanse or cutting my carbs, then obviously they aren't keeping up with who I am.

    The more time I get to know the people on my friends list, the more I am encouraged. Besides, what's the point of having "friends" if you don't know them or like them or have anything at all in common?

    EDIT: AND BECAUSE IT'S MY FRIENDS LIST AND I'LL CUT IF I WANT TO! :flowerforyou:

    Now...stop being mean on the internet.

    Reported!
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    It gets harder and harder to interact with the people that I want to interact with when there's a bunch of randoms that don't participate on my friends list.

    For example every morning I wake up and perv on 1ConcreteGirl. I now have to sort through 4 pages of friends just to find her profile.

    Just tab her page. Problem solved. I do this a lot.

    I can't hate on a pro
    I just downloaded your pictures on my desktop guys. I can still get my creep on when the internet is down. Pro level right here.
  • PamelaGatorMom
    PamelaGatorMom Posts: 348 Member
    Do you thinks of the people on your list a "real" friends? Or just people with a common goal?

    The people on my FL have become my friends, they encourage me & support me as I work to reach my goals. They understand things that my "everyday" friends may not...like slipping up & hitting KFC at 9pm at night.

    I don't want to have a bunch of people on my friends list I want to have people who are also working towards being healthier (and thinner) I'm not looking to "hook-up" or play games I'm here to meet my goals!! I see enough drama on facebook I don't want to see it in my news feed on here!

    I make it a point at least once a week to visit each of my friends profiles, check on their progress and leave them a personal comment on their page.
    So YES these are "real" friends that I have connected with and want to see them succeed!! :drinker:

    Edited to add: Also if someone hasn't logged in for a month I delete them. (because beforehand I private message them & write on their profile wall checking in with them, if I get no reply I assume they are not to the point of commitment that I am at right now and I don't want to waste my time or theirs trying to motivate someone who doesn't want to be motivated)

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