Pizza scarfers.

ElizabethRaeBarnes

Is this a deal breaker for you?
My boyfriend eats pizza, hot dogs, take out every day. He is in the obese range now. I am 26 and he is 33. He needs to start taking care of his health or we will never have children.
When ever we go shopping he gets cookies, bacon, sourdough breads, cheese, pasta....
I have tried inviting him to workout with me?
I am in the healthy weight range and I want to lose more weight-I should say tone. Its so hard for me to workout alone everyday and eat alone because he wont eat anything I like-green or low calorie.
What do you think?

Unknown

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pspetralia

How about modeling moderation for him? He doesn't have to give that stuff up. I once had a dietician suggest crowding in healthier choices.
Why is it hard for you to work out alone? Do what you want/need. Be careful not to let him become an excuse.

EmmaReed84

If you push him to do something he obviously is not ready to do, it won't stick. If he changes, it should be because HE wants to and it is HIS motivation driving him. Not yours.

I was the same with my husband and embarked on my weight-loss journey alone, I lost loads of weight, everyone now comments on how well I look and how my husband is very large compared to what he used to be.

I signed him up for the gym at the same time as me, but he really was not ready. However, for the past few weeks he has really got in to it and he gets more and more motivated with each lb he loses and it is becoming a way of life now.

beachlover317

The only thing you can do and preserve your relationship is - do your thing. If you become that person that always is talking about him eating healthy food or him going to the gym, you will become the person he ignores ( or worse the person he does not want to be around anymore). We only have control over ourselves and how we react to others. He will only change when he is ready to make a change. Until then, it will be superficial and will not be lasting. Keep reaching your goals.

Cr01502

I would leave him.

It doesn't sound like he's interested in changing and this obviously something that bothers you.

GamerLady

Do what I do, on the nights I cook. I cook 3 different meals everyday for dinner. I cook one for myself, one for my son, and one for my husband. My husband is just not going to eat the foods I do, he will never give up his pasta, breads, potatoes, so I cook him what he likes. If he ever wants something different he'll tell me. He's a grown man, makes his own decisions, I don't try to force him to do what I want him to do.

You can't force someone to change, they have to want to do that on their own.

Lesa_Sass

The good news is we do not have to marry every one we date.

Can someone answer me this question. why do people insist that we love a person for who they are on the inside but the first thing a person does when they get dumped is to get into shape? Why is it more important that we look good and try to take care of ourselves after the fact? I mean, if we love them that much, shouldn't we want to do it when we are with that person?

I can say from experience (did not get married until I was 32) that being with someone that has the same health and fitness goals as I do makes life easier and more wonderful. I have been in a few relationships where we did not do anything but lay around and eat crap, watch tv, get drunk or be hung over. It was fun at first but then the fighting and aggravation set in and it was time to move on. My husband and I do things together, outside, instead of lay around on the sofa. I believe this is one of the reasons my marriage rocks. We also have spent a great deal of time taking care of his elderly parents and know first hand how important taking care of ones body when you are younger is. We want to climbing mountains in our 70s, not sitting in a drs office.

whierd

Just stop feeding him.

jimshine

It is no different than quitting smoking or drinking. It is something you genuinely have to want to do deep down inside.

But I also must say from experience. Once you get rid of certain things from your diet, your pallet changes. Things you once hated taste great, things you once loved start to taste too rich, or maybe not good at all. The turning point for me was getting rid of soda and cutting back on sugar.

Factory_Reset

When I met my husband he was 230lbs and did not exercise at all. I ran, did kickboxing, and used weights(not very heavy though). He started working out with me all on his own. I never asked. His size never factored in to me when I met him. To be honest, I never even noticed how much bigger he was when I met him until a year later when we were married. He was 180ish when we got married. Our engagement pics and wedding pics you can definitely see a difference.

When I gained weight, he never said anything either. He didn't force me to get back to the things I once enjoyed. It took me getting over 200lbs to finally admit I had a issue. It wasn't his job to get me there. He would ask if I wanted to go running, but when I said no, he just left it at that. We took turns cooking and he never said one word when I cooked unhealthy things. He didn't eat a *kitten* ton of it, but he never said anything.

I started using this site and the changes are fantastic!! We now run together again and he even started SL with me. Be patient if you can, but if this is something that really makes you unhappy, it may be time to go your seperate ways.

ETA: OP I still eat pizza, cookies, bacon, etc....maybe not everyday, but you don't have to completely cut out things.

DalekBrittany

I say, why don't you tell him instead of us? Have you tried sitting him down and saying babe, I'm concerned about your health. Tell him you can cook some delicious and healthy meals, that they don't have to be tasteless or boring. Have a genuine talk with him, but DO NOT BLAME HIM. Sometimes if you make it sound like you're blaming them and basically fat-shaming then obviously, he'll take offense. Be kind, but don't beat around the bush. Give him time to think on it.

If he decides he doesn't want to change, then it is up to you where it goes from there. I know I wouldn't be able to stand around while I watched my fiance destroy his body any more than I already have. That's why we are changing together. Maybe if you show him the science of what he's doing to his body, he'll change his mind.

DalekBrittany

Do what I do, on the nights I cook. I cook 3 different meals everyday for dinner. I cook one for myself, one for my son, and one for my husband. My husband is just not going to eat the foods I do, he will never give up his pasta, breads, potatoes, so I cook him what he likes. If he ever wants something different he'll tell me. He's a grown man, makes his own decisions, I don't try to force him to do what I want him to do.

You can't force someone to change, they have to want to do that on their own.

I applaud you for doing that. I do not have the patience, perhaps because of the way I grew up. What was for dinner was what was for dinner. If you didn't like it, make your own food or don't eat at all. I have relatively the same attitude, but not as harsh. If I'm making baked chicken, which I know he doesn't like, I'll take one piece and sautee it. If I'm making something with a sauce, I will leave a piece dry because he doesn't like sauces and gravys. Otherwise, it's like my mom said. I am not a short-order cook.

BeachIron

I would leave him.

It doesn't sound like he's interested in changing and this obviously something that bothers you.

^ This. You lead two different lifestyles and it is bound to be the source of tension. Find someone that shares your interests.

Edit: sp

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

At least he isn't pretending to be someone he isn't. You can only work on you and be you. He can only be himself. If you don't like the him that he is, and you're seeing a future where he sits on the sofa and eats doner kebab and doesn't have the same life goals as you, it's best to let go now. It's better for you to find someone with the same or similar interests, and it is better for him to do the same.

However, if you are fine with the way he is, and can live with it, then great.

But I do have one question. Why do you think an overweight man can't have children? Is he impotent or have a health issue related to sperm count? This part confuses me.

ajhugz

My boyfriend is the same way. After watching me eat better and workout for a month he started taking baby steps. If he wants to, he will make a change. You can't expect him to be healthier because its what you want. He still mostly eats like **** but now he eats more salad and he'll ask me questions about calories and nutrition. He has also started working out and has stuck to it for a couple weeks.

Honestly I really think he made the change when I started playfully telling him I would be more buff than him and showing off my muscles lol.

ElizabethRaeBarnes

My boyfriend is the same way. After watching me eat better and workout for a month he started taking baby steps. If he wants to, he will make a change. You can't expect him to be healthier because its what you want. He still mostly eats like **** but now he eats more salad and he'll ask me questions about calories and nutrition. He has also started working out and has stuck to it for a couple weeks.

Honestly I really think he made the change when I started playfully telling him I would be more buff than him and showing off my muscles lol.

I hope I can rub off on him. I do all of my workouts alone. I go hiking alone. Most of my daily activities are alone. Its been this way for over a year. He thinks that watching TV is quality time together. I would like to be able to at least go for walks with him.

ajhugz

My boyfriend is the same way. After watching me eat better and workout for a month he started taking baby steps. If he wants to, he will make a change. You can't expect him to be healthier because its what you want. He still mostly eats like **** but now he eats more salad and he'll ask me questions about calories and nutrition. He has also started working out and has stuck to it for a couple weeks.

Honestly I really think he made the change when I started playfully telling him I would be more buff than him and showing off my muscles lol.

I hope I can rub off on him. I do all of my workouts alone. I go hiking alone. Most of my daily activities are alone. Its been this way for over a year. He thinks that watching TV is quality time together. I would like to be able to at least go for walks with him.

Just ask him to go on a really short walk. If he says no, just say ok and go alone. Try again a few days later.