Losing focus and willpower

Emilie04444

I have lost ALL FOCUS!!! I don't know how people work full time and fit in exercise. There is always this downward spiral where I have a stressful week (which is every week) and it leads to little exercise, which leads to poor eating and then I am back at square one. I am not consistent at all and I am not where I want to be at this date. I bought a new Spring jacket and it barely closes, lol. They didn't have an XL so I had to buy a large. I can't jog as much as I'd like because i have mild osteoarthritis in my knees. I would walk, but I am not a good power walker and it always leads to jogging.

I started becoming active on MFP in January and I haven't lost any weight since then! Literally, my last loss was mid December. I wonder if I am not made for this, if the overemphasis on logging food and counting is too much or if it leads to counter-intuitive behavior. Or maybe I don't have any motivation. The job that I have now is more stressful than my last one and some days after work I com home and sleep. I have lost a lot of weight, but I am barely a 14 so I really want to figure this out. It's not even TDEE or BMR, it's trying to be consistent and doing what needs to be done. Most weeks, I start out strong and by Wednesday, I am exhausted and start spiraling. On the weekends I usually recover and start the cycle again. Any advice??

lovejulez03

I'm sorry you feel that way and I feel that way a lot too!! There's no magic answer or advice that anyone can give but there are people here who have experience or the motivation to help encourage you.

Just remember, not everything works for everyone. If you were to look at my diary you would see lots of days I didn't log at all, or didn't finish, because I either forgot or was too embarrassed (which is dumb I know). I have fallen off the exercise wagon so much its not even funny. But I don't give up and I'm still losing weight and not gaining, so that's what matters.

My mom, for example, has been going to overeaters anonymous for years. When she started, her sponsor gave her a meal plan. It wasn't calorie based it was simply the serving sizes she needed to meet everyday for meat, veggies, and carbs. She lost 10 lbs a month consistently for 6 months and (back then) they didn't encourage ANY snacks, so she had 3 meals a day. What I'm getting at is that it all depends on you.

What I would suggest/advise is start over. Give yourself the rest of today and then wake up tomorrow and begin the day like its the first time you've been serious about losing weight. One day at a time!! You will have bad days..everyone does..maybe even bad weeks. But as I said before, you are here looking for encouragement and if you didn't care you wouldn't be on here at all.

((((HUGS)))) for you. You can do this! Start slow. If you drink pop, cut it back weekly. If your weakness is carbs, cut most of it out of at least one meal a day and do it that way. If you feel overwhelmed, don't everything at once. Some people have cheats days and cheat meals. Maybe you can reward yourself by having a cheat weekend (just not going COMPLETELY crazy lol) as long as you do good during the week! Just some thoughts.

Add me if you'd like. You CAN do this!

gr8xpectationz

I'm no expert, and I'm newer to this than you. But I've spent a lot of time poking around these blogs for good advice. So maybe I can help a bit.

For starters, the all-or-nothing approach doesn't work for people with busy lives. If you have to work late and don't have time for the workout, it's not a great excuse to eat badly too. If you enjoy birthday cake and ice cream at work, it doesn't mean your week is shot and you shouldn't bother working out. It's okay to have a bad day. Pick yourself up and move on. Somebody wise said: You don't drown because you fall in the water. You drown because you stay in the water. Stop dieting. This is not a diet, this is for life.

And if you find that even this is more than you can manage, break it into smaller non-scale goals, and celebrate reaching them. For example, set yourself a goal to take one quick walk in the middle of each workday. Or to eat five servings of veggies a day. Or to stretch before you get out of bed in the morning. Or NOT to have any processed white flour and sugar for a week. Or to quit all soda. If you can't manage a perfect healthy lifestyle, pick a few things you CAN manage and stick to them. After a week or two of success, add one or two more.

And remember that EVERY healthy habit is good for you, whether the scale says so or not.

Emilie04444

For starters, the all-or-nothing approach doesn't work for people with busy lives. If you have to work late and don't have time for the workout, it's not a great excuse to eat badly too. If you enjoy birthday cake and ice cream at work, it doesn't mean your week is shot and you shouldn't bother working out. It's okay to have a bad day. Pick yourself up and move on. Somebody wise said: You don't drown because you fall in the water. You drown because you stay in the water. Stop dieting. This is not a diet, this is for life.

And if you find that even this is more than you can manage, break it into smaller non-scale goals, and celebrate reaching them. For example, set yourself a goal to take one quick walk in the middle of each workday. Or to eat five servings of veggies a day. Or to stretch before you get out of bed in the morning. Or NOT to have any processed white flour and sugar for a week. Or to quit all soda. If you can't manage a perfect healthy lifestyle, pick a few things you CAN manage and stick to them. After a week or two of success, add one or two more.

Thanks It's funny how I forget these tips. This isn't a diet and I thought I got rid of the all or nothing approach, but it is still there. I may start off eating something bad and have let the rest of the week go in order to start over on Sunday. I'm also going to use the non scale goals. There were weeks when the scale wasn't moving but my clothes were looser, but I let the scale bring me down so I said screw it. But I will definitely be moving forward. Thanks!!!!

Emilie04444

I'm sorry you feel that way and I feel that way a lot too!! There's no magic answer or advice that anyone can give but there are people here who have experience or the motivation to help encourage you.

Just remember, not everything works for everyone. If you were to look at my diary you would see lots of days I didn't log at all, or didn't finish, because I either forgot or was too embarrassed (which is dumb I know). I have fallen off the exercise wagon so much its not even funny. But I don't give up and I'm still losing weight and not gaining, so that's what matters.

My mom, for example, has been going to overeaters anonymous for years. When she started, her sponsor gave her a meal plan. It wasn't calorie based it was simply the serving sizes she needed to meet everyday for meat, veggies, and carbs. She lost 10 lbs a month consistently for 6 months and (back then) they didn't encourage ANY snacks, so she had 3 meals a day. What I'm getting at is that it all depends on you.

What I would suggest/advise is start over. Give yourself the rest of today and then wake up tomorrow and begin the day like its the first time you've been serious about losing weight. One day at a time!! You will have bad days..everyone does..maybe even bad weeks. But as I said before, you are here looking for encouragement and if you didn't care you wouldn't be on here at all.

((((HUGS)))) for you. You can do this! Start slow. If you drink pop, cut it back weekly. If your weakness is carbs, cut most of it out of at least one meal a day and do it that way. If you feel overwhelmed, don't everything at once. Some people have cheats days and cheat meals. Maybe you can reward yourself by having a cheat weekend (just not going COMPLETELY crazy lol) as long as you do good during the week! Just some thoughts.

Add me if you'd like. You CAN do this!

Thanks for the tips! The one day at a time is good and I am going to start slow. I do the same thing with the journal btw, lol. I think I am going to focus on moving everyday. And then just adding small goals. I'm not a soda person or carb crazy. I am a sweets person for sure. Maybe I will try to limit it to 2 treats/week as opposed to not having any limits. Working in an office, ppl bring in sweets ALL the time. plus I made a batch of brownies yesterday that are in my freezer. Why would someone do that. I'm not sure if I should throw them out.

gr8xpectationz

I started a weight loss group at work, and one of the first things we do when we meet is to celebrate successes. One of my friends said that her success was that she had a funnel cake in a moment of weakness, but DIDN'T let that blow her whole week. She enjoyed the funnel cake, and instead of admonishing herself and pretending like she just needed to start from scratch the next week, she got right back on plan that very evening with a healthy dinner.

I remember thinking "That's BRILLIANT". It seems so obvious, but until she said it, it somehow wouldn't have occurred to me! I've been working to eliminate the all-or-nothing tendencies in myself ever since.

Thanks goodness for the wisdom we can learn from other people!

gr8xpectationz

I like what Pu_239 said. Log it ALL, good or bad. Make that your first habit, even when you're "off plan" or whatever. It can be really useful in recognizing patterns or identifying weaknesses or temptations. But even more than that, it's an honest recognition of the reality of your food intake. Even if you can't fix it all at once, you start to pick away at the worst habits.

G__Force

You have to push yourself some, You have to log every day. do you have the app on your phone? You can update your food while your eating.while its fresh in your mind. once you get most of your meals in it gets to be pretty easy. oce you know how much your eating then you can figure out how much you can consume with out going over your daily goal. part of the reason you maybe tired is becasue your note getting enough to eat at the right time.
Stress is never good for anyone, One of thing i do to get away from things at work is to aet my lunch at 9:30 or 10 am then on my lunch 1/2 i go for a walk, i go as far as i can and back in a a half hour. it getts my blood pumping and gets me away from the grind for a little so my head will clear the rest of my goes much better.
After work I have to cook dinner for the kids then wait for a short time then i go and work out. sometimes with the kids sometimes without.
Dont give up get creative and your almost 1/2 way to your goal you can do it!!!!

Emilie04444

You have to push yourself some, You have to log every day. do you have the app on your phone? You can update your food while your eating.while its fresh in your mind. once you get most of your meals in it gets to be pretty easy. oce you know how much your eating then you can figure out how much you can consume with out going over your daily goal. part of the reason you maybe tired is becasue your note getting enough to eat at the right time.
Stress is never good for anyone, One of thing i do to get away from things at work is to aet my lunch at 9:30 or 10 am then on my lunch 1/2 i go for a walk, i go as far as i can and back in a a half hour. it getts my blood pumping and gets me away from the grind for a little so my head will clear the rest of my goes much better.
After work I have to cook dinner for the kids then wait for a short time then i go and work out. sometimes with the kids sometimes without.
Dont give up get creative and your almost 1/2 way to your goal you can do it!!!!

THANKS!! Logging while I eat is a good idea. I kind of unofficially have to eat lunch at my desk because I man the office phone. I have been trying to walk to the further train station to my job (15 mins both ways) to burn some calories. I was using that time for cardio, but I should try to use that time to think as well.

I also quit smoking 4 weeks ago....I am NOT going to start again but it was an appetite suppressant and it really helped me get from Point A to Point B without being sidetracked. Just thought of this. It might be why I feel more stressed out