Getting over an ex while losing weight?

kassiebby1124

I told my ex if you drink water and eat protein, it can ease headaches. He replied, "if you drink water and eat protein, you'll stop being fat." God. 3 weeks ago he was saying how much he loves me and doesn't want me to change. Now I'm that "fat girl he dated." He used to be my number one supporter and the one who believed in me when even I didn't. I know I shouldn't let this stop me, but it hurts. I'm eating ice cream and crying, at the moment. I just feel like a failure. I want to rub my weight loss in his face, but I don't want to use it as a weapon, you know? I've just lost my internal motivation. How can I keep my progress going without being upset or spiteful over my ex? We broke up weeks ago and it still hurts me..

rugbyphreak

I wish I had some advice for you, but I've had one bad relationship after another and I've not been able to get over them in a healthy way. I either stuff my face with sweets or don't eat for days. It's been pretty rough for me lately. I struggle to get up to 1200 calories most days. I just keep thinking "if I was thinner, this wouldn't have happened" or "skinny girls don't have these issues". I know it's not true, but half my brain still believes it...

Good luck! We're in this together!

kassiebby1124

I wanted to get skinny for me at first...then I wanted to get skinny for everyone else.

dakotababy

I think this is the problem with losing weight for other reasons and other people instead of yourself.

Make a list of why you want to lose weight. This time, It can't/won't include anything to do with your ex.

daterminedfatburnerX

We are in the same boat

JJordon

I told my ex if you drink water and eat protein, it can ease headaches. He replied, "if you drink water and eat protein, you'll stop being fat." God. 3 weeks ago he was saying how much he loves me and doesn't want me to change. Now I'm that "fat girl he dated." He used to be my number one supporter and the one who believed in me when even I didn't. I know I shouldn't let this stop me, but it hurts. I'm eating ice cream and crying, at the moment. I just feel like a failure. I want to rub my weight loss in his face, but I don't want to use it as a weapon, you know? I've just lost my internal motivation. How can I keep my progress going without being upset or spiteful over my ex? We broke up weeks ago and it still hurts me..

I would say use it for fuel. You are in this, not to become this idol, but to simply be the best version of you, you can be.

iceman7840

You just have to put your head down and drive on. Tomorrow is another day.

Be glad you did not settle down with someone so petty. He didn't appreciate you at your worst so he doesn't deserve you at your best.

Use it as motivation to be the best person you can be. You have a fresh start so keep working hard, treat yourself right and smile. Everything is ok.

hunterjumper642

Use him as motivation! Think of it this way: you deserve way better, if he is going to treat you like that! If you try really hard now, he will see you later on and realize what he missed out on So do it for the "wow girl you got hot!"

fishsticks913

I told my ex if you drink water and eat protein, it can ease headaches. He replied, "if you drink water and eat protein, you'll stop being fat." God. 3 weeks ago he was saying how much he loves me and doesn't want me to change. Now I'm that "fat girl he dated." He used to be my number one supporter and the one who believed in me when even I didn't. I know I shouldn't let this stop me, but it hurts. I'm eating ice cream and crying, at the moment. I just feel like a failure. I want to rub my weight loss in his face, but I don't want to use it as a weapon, you know? I've just lost my internal motivation. How can I keep my progress going without being upset or spiteful over my ex? We broke up weeks ago and it still hurts me..

There is a lot in your post I can relate to and a lot I can not.
" He used to be my number one supporter and the one who believed in me when even I didn't - Yup he was my biggest cheerleader.... or the one that would talk me down off the cliff.... like if I wanted a pop. He was the one that taught me that I can do this and I can take control of my life. I owe him everything for that.... I really do. He brought out in my strength that I never knew that I had....and I miss that. I miss feeling strong... I miss his encouragement. I miss him being there and encouraging me or congratulating me on losing weight. UGH I said I was not going to cry... and the tears were flowing as I was typing that...

I don't want to rub anything in his face and I don't hate him.....I just wish he was still here to watch me win this race that I am on.

With that being said... We will make it thru this.. All of us will and we will come out on top and be the best "US" that we can be.

littlepinkhearts

*kitten* him and keep losing the weight so you can be happy in your own skin. Losing weight helps you in so many more ways then just being able to move around easier. It's a process that you grow with. Do it for yourself....you will NOT regret it!!!:flowerforyou:

kassiebby1124

Thanks everyone

SideSteel

Haters ain't *kitten* son.

You just have to put your head down and drive on. Tomorrow is another day.

Be glad you did not settle down with someone so petty. He didn't appreciate you at your worst so he doesn't deserve you at your best.

Use it as motivation to be the best person you can be. You have a fresh start so keep working hard, treat yourself right and smile. Everything is ok.

^ And this too.

kimad

First off, you are much better off without him! noone should talk to anyone like that!

PUt that icecream down, work your *kitten* off, and show him who he missed out on!
I have went thru a few breakups over my loss and it pushed me harder... it's amazing how much of a stress relief exercise is..

Use it as motivation to push you, but when he comes crawling back, tell him to take a hike!

Lyadeia

You need to sit down, by yourself, and find out your WHY. Why are you wanting to lose weight? Why are you wanting to make your body healthier? If you think about it and really ponder why, then you will discover that "getting skinny" isn't even the reason. There's something up under that reason. Something so personal that nobody can change it about you. It has nothing to do with other people, but all about you. Once you find out your why, it won't matter what happens in your life with guys, family issues, or whatever. You will have your motivation to keep going. Of course we all have setbacks, but that's perfectly normal! The road to success is NEVER a straight line. But you need to look deep within yourself and find out why you want to lose weight, and use that, and only that, as your motivator.

And don't bother with that guy anymore. Thinking about him will bring you down. Talking to him or about him to other people won't help. He's in the past. Your future is much different than your past. You control what your future and you control your present. You don't want to use that control bring bad things back into remembrance do you? Of course not. Forget him. You go ahead and do YOU for YOU.

Fat_Bottomed_Girl

I know this sounds hella cheesy, but the breakdown of one of my most significant relationships occurred at the same time Brad Pitt chose to dump (cheat on) Jennifer Aniston for Angelina. Seeing it unfold from a different perspective made me realize that EVERYONE goes through it as some point in time, and it will only make me stronger. The best thing you can do is to hold your head high and do your very best even though you may not want to. It will be hard and you will have to be strong, but only YOU are in charge of your destiny, and YOU have the ability to come out of the situation as a better person. -And you are DESERVING of that. Your ex? Most likely not.

RadioactivePirate

Take a boxing class or something! The exercise will help with the weight loss, and give you an added boost of feeling powerful and good about yourself! Distracting yourself with a new hobby wouldn't hurt either.

sweetchildomine

Ugh...I know EXACTLY how you feel. I've been struggling for weeks trying to get back on track after my breakup. It's hard when you lose your biggest cheerleader and they end up being the person to bring you down. Just take it one day at a time and remember that the most important thing is taking care of yourself. Mentally AND physically! Also, don't worry about "getting skinny" just worry about being HEALTHY!!. My ex asked me to lose weight, so I did...and I STILL ended up getting cheated on. Jerks are going to be jerks regardless of how much you weigh! Keep your head up girl!!

ladytinkerbell99

You need to sit down, by yourself, and find out your WHY. Why are you wanting to lose weight? Why are you wanting to make your body healthier? If you think about it and really ponder why, then you will discover that "getting skinny" isn't even the reason. There's something up under that reason. Something so personal that nobody can change it about you. It has nothing to do with other people, but all about you. Once you find out your why, it won't matter what happens in your life with guys, family issues, or whatever. You will have your motivation to keep going. Of course we all have setbacks, but that's perfectly normal! The road to success is NEVER a straight line. But you need to look deep within yourself and find out why you want to lose weight, and use that, and only that, as your motivator.

And don't bother with that guy anymore. Thinking about him will bring you down. Talking to him or about him to other people won't help. He's in the past. Your future is much different than your past. You control what your future and you control your present. You don't want to use that control bring bad things back into remembrance do you? Of course not. Forget him. You go ahead and do YOU for YOU.

^ Great advice.

rebecca8787

Sorry to hear that someone has made you feel this way! The most important thing is to be kind to yourself. Enjoy your ice cream, then put it down and start a fresh in the morning. Engage in things that make you proud of yourself, do well at work, or hang out with nice people, and treat your body like a temple because thats what it is, and nobody should try tell you otherwise. we are all in this together and people, especially those we have close relations with, can often use their closeness to be cruel to you. don't let them. Have a cry, call a friend, and get back on the health-kick when YOU are ready.

When he sees that you are happy and beautiful from the inside out he will probably be jealous and at this point, you wont care about wanting to rub it in his face cos you will know that you did it for yourself. good luck x

laurynwithawhy

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Just know that it does get easier (getting over a loved one).

But PLEASE DO use this as a weapon. Looking good, feeling good, and being confident are some of the best ways to stick it to someone in a positive way. Plus, the better you feel, the less your breakup will hurt. Trust me, I've been there

ciarabrennan7

Be glad you did not settle down with someone so petty. He didn't appreciate you at your worst so he doesn't deserve you at your best.

This ^^^

kassiebby1124

Thanks all. I know you all keep telling me that drop him, but I want us to be friends, even if it sounds stupid. He is generally supportive, but he (like my female counterparts) can be a bit of an *kitten*. I do want to maintain a friendship, but to do that, would space be a good idea?

MsAnn07

Heard this today at service. "Hurt people...hurt people." Look around...skinny/slim people also are without a significant other so it's not you it's him. Stay strong and find peace within yourself!!

littlepinkhearts

i'm curious, what kind friendship would you want from him and what would you expect out of it?

kassiebby1124

i'm curious, what kind friendship would you want from him and what would you expect out of it?

Before we dated, he was a sweetheart. I'll admit, we kind of jumped into a relationship, but I can also say he was a best friend to me. I guess I just want that supportive friend I had when I was dating but strictly as a friend now?

littlepinkhearts

well i'm certainly no Anne Landers and i'm trying to get my own crap together after a break up. I also don't know you or your situation, but i would offer that you might wanna get your head together again and prove to yourself that you can live your life happily without him before you go playin around with fire again. I'm sure you can find other supportive friends to help you out if you need it. Just a thought and i hope it helps....

CrystalDreams

the world will be like that. You have to do it for you and know that hes jerkfaced scum and you are amazing.

tbodega

Losing weight is something that you should want to do for yourself. Other people should not be in the equation.

iamspdd

My ex told me (while we were dating), I can't have sex with you anymore because you are too fat and I am not attracted to you anymore.
That. Destroyed. Me.

Now I have lost 15 pounds and am on my way to getting to show him how skinny I am and what he's missing. Oh, and he's gained 25 pounds. :laugh:

boatsie77

You're learning the lesson as to why you can't and shouldn't rely on people, places or things in order to be happy--you're giving away your power to someone or something else. Doing that isn't fair to others who now have the extra burden of keeping YOU happy in addition to their own needs. If you take back responsibility for your own happiness and fall in love with someone who does the same, your happiness and well-being will be rewarding and not a burden to the one you love. Take back your power AND your responsibility for making your happiness come from within, and you'll never have to suffer at the actions of what someone else does or says again.

likeschocolate

Echoing what has already been said: focus on the good reasons, and ignore the people who are trying to hurt you.

Wishing you all the best.