Why is it so friggin difficult..

baileybiddles

So I gained 1.4 this week. And I know exactly why - several days this week I've had a handful of Starburst jelly beans here, a small slice of cake at the office for birthdays there. I had McDonalds one day for lunch because I carelessly forgot to pack mine before work.

I've ALWAYS counted on food for practically everything. I've always eaten out of boredom. I've always reached for food when I was under stress or going through something particularly tough. I use food as a reward for good behavior, such as getting good grades in college. I use it when I'm happy. I use it for everything. This is the thing that I'm having the hardest time breaking free of. I have a very unhealthy relationship with food and I can't figure out how to break it.

What did you do to break your unhealthy relationship with food? How long did it take? What was your breaking point? I am exercising three-four times per week but I know that losing weight is 80% what you eat. I don't buy junk to bring into my own house, but when it comes to being away from home, I am a disaster.

terri0527

I decided who I loved more...myself or food....for a long time it was food. Now, most def myself. :flowerforyou:

artickb22

just like giving up any other addiciton, you have to make recovery priority. While of course you have to still eat but the addiction is in the actions/reasons so it's a little harder to beat. Like terri0527 said, you have to love yourself more than you love to eat.

BT100poundsless

I am the same way still sometimes. And that's so good you don't bring it into your house! Just remember when you're not home what's important and how much faster it will be to make your goal if you don't touch the snacks. You don't want to undo all you're progress and gain. Just think about if you'd rather feel good and proud for eating yogurt or fruit or sad and want to quit while eating a cheeseburger just remember moderation is key.

KrazyAsianNic

I know exactly how your feel. I use to be like this. I started realizing it when I went to counseling back in college. She helped me realize I was eating my feelings away and helped me find other ways to distract myself. That started 2 years ago. I'm better now, but I still struggle with knowing the difference between real and emotional hunger. Hang inthere and try one thing at a time.

White_n_Nerdy

I've turned to water. I realized that when I was "hungry", I wasn't so much craving food as I was flavor. Now, I have a fully stocked selection of flavored water packets and things like lemon/lime juice. Whenever I feel hungry, I grab my water bottle and see if that hits the spot first. If it doesn't, I grab a packet of nuts (pistacchios are my favorite!) or some yogurt. It's all about finding a method that works well for you, without killing your movitation completely. I vote try replacing snacks with water first; it has worked well for me so far!

firstloveyourself

I have the exact same problem, and I'm trying to get over it. I guess thinking of it as an "addiction" is a good way to think--recovering alcoholics don't take a few sips of beer a day, so I shouldn't let myself eat crap food throughout the day either.

SaraBrown12

Instead of changing up your diet why don't you just add more exercise and still lose weight?

Railr0aderTony

I used one simple rule to break that same cycle, Tony's #1 Rule::: Never eat anything before it is Logged, That is it, If i have to put it into my phone or computer it makes me think about it, if i have room for it or if i would rather find something else that would fit into my calories for the day. Since doing this I only go over if I plan to go over, it gives you complete control.

becwp

Hi,

Im having the same prolblem, looking at my food diary from yesterday I can see my addiction is sugar and I reach for it when I am bored and dont know what to do - well i could be doing so much but the thought of housework is boring. However if i set goals to achieve things around rthe home, get them done I get a book or now go for a walk. I am starting to plan through the Michelle Bridges 12wbt and think that maybe a bit more planning could also help you. If you have a schedule you stick to for the things you must do we can then create a life for ourselves doing things that make us happy eg: bush trek with the family for a healthy picnic lunch when we get there.

This is all still new for me too but I am excited because I think this will help break my bad habits.

Good luck xx

jenz_plan

I read your post thinking whoa!, this is me! I have the same issues and Im not always sure how I can "fix" it. Lately my goal is to stay busy..instead of eating out of emotions I go outside or talk a quick walk..read..just anything to distract myself...the biggest issue has been office goodies though--I don't know the ultimate solution rather than stick to my plan and take it day by day.

mochablend

Which brings me to something I read a while back that " the brain cannot tell the difference between thirst and hunger," which means that we often eat when we really are dehydrated.
I cheat just a little, I write everything in my diary... If I eat a dessert that I don't know the calorie, I search for it online and post the information the best I can.
Yet, being careful, I still have not been able to shed weight but I've been gaining...

kindasortachewy

I am trying to find other ways to deal with each emotion.

Now when i feel stressed I will take a long hot bath or do some meditation/yoga and see if that helps first before I think about food.

If I feel sad, i call up a friend and ask to go on walk and talk about it and not go out to eat and talk about it.

Also, I log my food before i eat and, and before I log it, I look at my BEFORE picture, it helps me remember why I am eating healthy and usually curbs my appetite too


I also recommend the water trick, if I feel hungry at a non meal time, I drink an enitre glass of water first and see if I'm still hungry

baileybiddles

Instead of changing up your diet why don't you just add more exercise and still lose weight?

I'm not just trying to change my diet so I can lose weight, you know? I want to be healthier. I want to be better. There's no need to shovel all the crap into my body that I do. I'm just having a hard time breaking my habits.

baileybiddles

I have the exact same problem, and I'm trying to get over it. I guess thinking of it as an "addiction" is a good way to think--recovering alcoholics don't take a few sips of beer a day, so I shouldn't let myself eat crap food throughout the day either.

Right!

It's funny that you bring up addiction. I just kicked caffeine a few weeks ago - I was so addicted that I couldn't go more than 12 hours without a cup of coffee. I literally just stopped with caffeine on a Sunday. Spent the whole day in bed puking my guts out with a terrible migraine, but it went away after two days and I was so happy with myself. Why can I not quit junk food that easily? It's strange how I lack the conviction to do this but it was so easy to do that.

foofoodust

For me, a few things collided in my life to impel me to change my eating:
1) I hated how I physically felt. I was tired, slow, clumsy and stiff fro carrying too much weight.
2) The discomfort of eating less was not as bad than the discomfort of 1) above.
3) I began to internalize that the food universe around me was made up of restaurants, retailers, supplement sellers, discounters and promotions that had only a single goal: to convince me that buying and eating their product would make me feel better. The products and meals did sometimes do that - temporarily. And then the piper got paid.......

I'm not trying to say that it's a vast conspiracy. I'm saying that there is a universe of product sellers that care more about successful selling than what the products do to me. When was the last time you saw a TV commercial for romaine lettuce? Or carrots? Or fresh red peppers? The game is stacked against me, you, all of us. We can beat the game by thinking about it......... It's not easy.

baileybiddles

For me, a few things collided in my life to impel me to change my eating:
1) I hated how I physically felt. I was tired, slow, clumsy and stiff fro carrying too much weight.
2) The discomfort of eating less was not as bad than the discomfort of 1) above.
3) I began to internalize that the food universe around me was made up of restaurants, retailers, supplement sellers, discounters and promotions that had only a single goal: to convince me that buying and eating their product would make me feel better. The products and meals did sometimes do that - temporarily. And then the piper got paid.......

I'm not trying to say that it's a vast conspiracy. I'm saying that there is a universe of product sellers that care more about successful selling than what the products do to me. When was the last time you saw a TV commercial for romaine lettuce? Or carrots? Or fresh red peppers? The game is stacked against me, you, all of us. We can beat the game by thinking about it......... It's not easy.

This was really helpful for me to read. You're so right... Commercials for my favorite sugary cereals and ice creams SOOO don't help me avoid them at the grocery store. But you're right - I am the same way. Slow, tired, clumsy. I FINALLY found an exercise program that I enjoy, and I'm finally getting into that swing, but it's food that's my huge down fall.

Textmessage

It all comes down to will power, imo. I've always been ready to lose weight, but I never did a thing about it. It took hitting a very low point in life to finally realize that I need to change.

You have to be honest with yourself whenever you go to grab those jelly beans or McDonalds (though, there's nothing wrong with these items if they fit your cals/macros) if they're really foods you should be having at that moment or not.

badmojo108

I agree with kindasortache. Find new ways to deal with the triggers that cause you to want to eat.

Bored: Find a hobby you enjoy, my goal in life is to never be bored so instead of eating when I am bored, I find do something. My house and car are much cleaner lately.
Reward: Reward yourself with something other than food, buy a book you wanted to read and costs about what a meal at McDonalds used to cost me (helps with boredom as well)
Sad/Upset: Go for a walk, or try to fix whatever it is that upsetting you.

Knowing what your triggers are is half the battle, now you just have to replace your reaction to those triggers with something other than eating.

ripemango

i approach it like this:

i am an alcoholic. Even if i never take another sip I will ALWAYS be an alcoholic.

What I'm saying is that I try to embrace the fact that I have an unhealthy relationship with food. That for the reasons you describe and then some, I want to eat more than is healthy for me to consume. Thus, I can't count on just my intuition or hope that my relationship with food will change. I accept that it probably never will. I accept that I will probably have to always watch and count on some level to be healthy.

AllTehBeers

I noticed by your ticker you want to lose 17 pounds.

Then I looked through your diary and wow, it is all over the place. Lots of days you're only eating 500 or 1000 calories. When you do eat more, you're not eating your exercise calories.

You need to figure out your TDEE - 15% and eat the same amount of calories every day. Being all over the place with your eating habits will make the number on the scale all over the place. Eat consistently, you'll get consistent results.

Start a lifting program.

Give yourself at least 4 weeks of consistency before re-assesing.

baileybiddles

I noticed by your ticker you want to lose 17 pounds.

Then I looked through your diary and wow, it is all over the place. Lots of days you're only eating 500 or 1000 calories. When you do eat more, you're not eating your exercise calories.

You need to figure out your TDEE - 15% and eat the same amount of calories every day. Being all over the place with your eating habits will make the number on the scale all over the place. Eat consistently, you'll get consistent results.

Start a lifting program.

Give yourself at least 4 weeks of consistency before re-assesing.

Thank you for the advice! The only thing I will say is that I do actually eat dinner each night - I often forget to log in and track after I get home. I track throughout the day at my desk at work and once I get home, I get so caught up in making dinner, doing laundry, homework, etc that I forget to log back in. This is my own fault and not an excuse.

I actually don't even know what TDEE is. I suppose I'm sort of a newbie to all of this stuff. I started out doing this on weight watchers and lost 11 pounds. Now I'm to 13 pounds and I'm having a hard time. I actually want to lose much more than 17 pounds, I'm not sure why my ticker says that. It might be reflecting my goal weight by June, which is 175.

AllTehBeers

I noticed by your ticker you want to lose 17 pounds.

Then I looked through your diary and wow, it is all over the place. Lots of days you're only eating 500 or 1000 calories. When you do eat more, you're not eating your exercise calories.

You need to figure out your TDEE - 15% and eat the same amount of calories every day. Being all over the place with your eating habits will make the number on the scale all over the place. Eat consistently, you'll get consistent results.

Start a lifting program.

Give yourself at least 4 weeks of consistency before re-assesing.

Thank you for the advice! The only thing I will say is that I do actually eat dinner each night - I often forget to log in and track after I get home. I track throughout the day at my desk at work and once I get home, I get so caught up in making dinner, doing laundry, homework, etc that I forget to log back in. This is my own fault and not an excuse.

I actually don't even know what TDEE is. I suppose I'm sort of a newbie to all of this stuff. I started out doing this on weight watchers and lost 11 pounds. Now I'm to 13 pounds and I'm having a hard time. I actually want to lose much more than 17 pounds, I'm not sure why my ticker says that. It might be reflecting my goal weight by June, which is 175.

Fill this out and use the suggested calories as a flat rate to eat every day, meaning, you will NOT eat what you burn exercise.

It is a different set up then what MFP uses (TDEE - 1000 calories). It's a percentage so you can eat a bit more and not worry about having to eat your exercise calories.

http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

ETA: Logging EVERYTHING is very important. Even if you just write it down and fill it in the next time you log on, you'll be able to see consistency of what you're eating and how much in relation to what you're losing.

TArnold2012

I play cards with the girls once a month. I have started taking my own grilled chicken this last month when they had pizza. It wasn't necessarily that I didn't want pizza but I want to reach my one year goal ( - 100). After a couple of really rough months I knew I had to set my priorities to make my goal. I approach it one bite, one meal, one day, one week, one month at a time. If I slip I get right back on my path the very next meal. Lots of small steps that eventually become habits with longer and longer time periods between slips.

dsjohndrow

I tossed everything, went to the store and bought good food. Then I got a food scale and learned how to make potions that worked. Took Sunday afternoons to cook meals for the week and freeze them - you need to change the lifestyle or you will never get it.

Lyadeia

I pre-plan everything. I will make a week's worth of meal plans on the weekend and won't deviate from those plans. I know what it feels like to fail at my plans, and I simply don't like that feeling. So I stick to what I've planned to avoid that regret and pain that I would have otherwise felt.

jfan175

Why is it so friggin difficult.

If it were less difficult, everyone would be lean and sexy. By working towards your goal and then achieving it, your self esteem and confidence will be through the roof....because you know you put forth the effort and had the resolve to solve a difficult problem.

LoseWithLaurie

Jerrypeoples

as everyone here has said, it is about self control.

i havent tasted a Whopper, big mac or wendys double in close to 8 months now. im pretty sure id punch a puppy in the face to have one but i know if i do that will open the flood gates and i will go back to my old ways.

i just went cold turkey on 90% of the things that were bad for me, fast food, soda/pop.

i have recently cut diet soads/pop out and this is my 4th week without.

why am i doing this? purely simple. i want to play basketball better, and so far it has.

you have to find a reason you want to be healthier, something that is tangible. sure everyone wants to be healthier, but other than knowing you are eating better that in and of itself is not a tangible goal. fit in smaller pants. tangible. run 5 miles without a break. tangible. look better naked. tangible. get rebounds and box out better. tangible.

until you locate that tangible item it will always be difficult to envision getting there

Energizer06

Earn it to Eat it methodology:

You want to eat cake, cookie, twinkie (ohhh well those are already gone), ice cream, junk, whatever it is above and beyond your goal for the day..........Well you have to earn it. Exercise till you earn enough calories back to eat it.

That's it......Gotta Earn It First !

Simple as pie....but your gonna have to earn it to eat it. Especially if you want pie!

slywon

One thing that was very important in my journey so far is MOMENTUM. I find that once I get through a couple days where I make the right choices it just gets easier and easier because I have momentum.