what would YOU do?

anawhatsme

i am trying to cut out processed food, refined sugars and flours.
in doing that, i make myself a sugar free chocolate recipe i found because i do love my chocolate.
my 14 year old son loves the recipe but isn't following any kind of diet or anything.
the chocolate isn't cheap to make plus it does take a bit of time to prepare.

he went to grab a piece of my chocolate tonight and i said if you're going to keep eating that, you will have to help me make it.
i got the typical teenager response of - that's not fair!
then as soon as he finished his chocolate, he reached for a pudding cup.
now i am grumpy today, but i told him if he's going to eat regular junk he doesn't really need to be eating my chocolate.

am i being a jerk?
this stuff actually really helps me stay away from junk food treats.
it's precious to me.
i want to to share, but i do find my son to be a bit greedy - or something.
he would easily polish off my 'treat' without thinking twice.

MarshaMole

Nope you are being fair..If he can eat the other treats he can leave yours alone.. find a hiding place and only make it when he's not around lol then hide it for yourself

sheleen302

I can understand your reaction, it's one I've had with my husband getting into things I am buying for a treat for myself, especially when his treats are ready and available. Luckily, I mentioned it once, and now he does not eat me out of house and home. With a teenaged kid, it may take more than one mention.

knightreader

so your son made a better health choice by eating some sugar free chocolate and you are threatening him by telling him he may have to help you make it next time?

yes, i get that it is your treat, and expensive and time consuming to make, but a 14 year old boy doesn't care about any of that. if it is a healthier alternative to some of the other stuff he could be eating, i would make more of it and encourage him to eat it.

but maybe some ground rules are in order. or maybe bribery from your end. maybe all the beds need to be made, or the grass needs cutting, or your car needs washing...make him earn it if it really bothers you that much.

or just tell him it is healthy for him, he will likely stay away from it then.

araes2102

I would not let him have it! Sure, if he wants to make changes and eat healthier, make more of it and encourage him to eat it! BUT if he is just eating it because it is there and it is chocolate... let him have the cheap stuff! DF does this to me ALL the time and I hate it! He will eat my (expensive) Atkins bars, followed by chips and salsa and an entire pint of ice cream! I have to practically beg him not eat my special items. Anyway, make it and hide it for yourself.

DalekBrittany

Why can't momma have her own treat? Make it off limits--if he touches it, he's in trouble! No reason he has to have junk AND your stuff, too.

ETA: If he wants it BECAUSE it's healthy, I agree with someone above, make him earn it if it's THAT expensive--otherwise, make a bigger batch and let him have some, as long as he saves some for you.

J3nnyV

I would let my boy eat the chocolate and I would do it with a loving heart because he is my son. I would tell him that it makes me happy to share something I made with him.

My boys are the best things to ever happen to me - way better than the best chocolate. The chocolate just wouldn't taste as good to me anymore once I told my boys it was all for me. That would feel greedy to me.

anawhatsme

thanks everyone.
he knows all about it being a healthier option.
but he doesn't really follow any certain eating plan, other than what i serve.
but he will eat pretty much anything.

i decided when i make it from now on, i will cut a portion for him and one for me.
once his share is gone, it's gone.
i think that's fair.

and to the person that thinks her son is more important than chocolate - you've obviously never had high quality chocolate.

jody664

I totally understand your frustration. My mom used to hide her candy in the china closet. She would never let us near the china closet because we "might break something" but in reality she just didn't want us eating her expensive chocolates. Can you hide your chocolate? Or does it need refrigeration?

cleback

Granted I don't have kids yet, but if I did, and I'd be pretty thrilled if they actually had a preference for healthy treats instead of junk. I'd encourage it instead of discourage. That said, there is no healthy without moderation (plus, you said it was expensive, right?). I'd wouldn't feel bad about limiting the treat to whatever you feel is economically reasonable and healthy for the child. Furthermore, you can teach him responsibility by having him help make it! He learns to make healthier food choices, portion control, economical sense, and responsibility. My two cents.

michelefrench

starting when my kids were little (and still applies to hubby today - kids grown and gone) any food in a plastic grocery store bag, in the fridge, freezer, cupboard, counter, wherever...is off limits, that's the rule...anything else in the house is fair game. That way if I bought an ingredient for something specific (or just something i didn't want to share) they knew not to even bother...didn't even look to see what was in there after a while....now my daughter has started the same rule w/her daughter :bigsmile:

crzyone

Could you share the recipe with us?

mmddwechanged

What would I do? I would share.

upgetupgetup

If you're asking for opinions, I think you're kind of being a jerk. So you get the healthy/nice stuff, which you know for a fact he likes, make just enough for yourself, and expect him to eat something you as an adult know is not as healthy?

He's 14, his appetite is bound to be huge because of hormones. Make more next time.

upgetupgetup

I would not let him have it! Sure, if he wants to make changes and eat healthier, make more of it and encourage him to eat it! BUT if he is just eating it because it is there and it is chocolate... let him have the cheap stuff! DF does this to me ALL the time and I hate it! He will eat my (expensive) Atkins bars, followed by chips and salsa and an entire pint of ice cream! I have to practically beg him not eat my special items. Anyway, make it and hide it for yourself.

The idea of having "healthy" food for mom and *actually buying* crap for the kids is really gross to me.

anawhatsme

Could you share the recipe with us?

1/2 cup coconut oil (slightly melted, but not hot)
1/2 cup good quality cocoa powder
1/2 cup natural peanut butter
1/4 cup raw honey
1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract

mix everything together and put in lined muffin cups or spread flat out on cookie sheet that has been lined with wax paper.
put in the freezer for 10-15 mins.
that's it!

keep it stored in the fridge or freezer because the coconut oil melts very easily.

iLoveMyAR15

If you're asking for opinions, I think you're kind of being a jerk. So you get the healthy/nice stuff, which you know for a fact he likes, make just enough for yourself, and expect him to eat something you as an adult know is not as healthy?

He's 14, his appetite is bound to be huge because of hormones. Make more next time.

This^^ Things are always better when you have someone to share it with!

LoosingMyLast15

first let me state i do not have children. now with that out of the way you are not being a jerk. i grew up in a household where certain very special foods/treats were OFF LIMITS to us children. period, no questions asked. you did not eat dad's suzy q's unless you did not like your freedom then by all means eat one and you would be instantly grounded for a week.

anawhatsme

sharing is fine.
i'm all for it - read my solution.
i just don't want him gobbling it up when he will follow it with a pudding cup, or something from his easter basket.
if he was interested in giving up junk in the same way i am, then sure - that would be all we'd have in the house for a chocolate treat.
the issue wasn't simply sharing, it was sharing when he is willing to eat any kind of treat on top of this stuff.

thingeringer

and to the person that thinks her son is more important than chocolate - you've obviously never had high quality chocolate.

^Love it!

kingscrown

No, I have some foods no is allowed to eat. I even have my "special" water. Now that one took a little white lie about possible bowel problems if you drink my "special" water. I even have a cup noone is allowed to use. It fits my smoothies perfectly and when I go to use it it's dirty. So, now no touchy. Get them something special (that you won't get into) that you tell them you won't eat. My house it's fishy crackers. I just don't crave them and I tell them they are all theirs.

upgetupgetup

He's a hungry, growing boy, not yet able to make informed choices. Of course he's going to enjoy junk, it's made to appeal to him. That said, I'm sure he'd be interested in whatever food's available at home.

sportzmom23

He's a hungry, growing boy, not yet able to make informed choices. Of course he's going to enjoy junk, it's made to appeal to him. That said, I'm sure he'd be interested in whatever food's available at home.

At 14, he is able to make informed choices, my 9 year old knows healthy choices. As a kid I used to sneak convenience store food over the 'healthy' options...wasn't satisfied with what was at home. Luckily my kids aren't like me, and love healthy choices

sportzmom23

I do have Mom treats, which I share on occassion, if they were left free, my three would polish them off in no time! They are similair to your chocolate, which I can't wait to try, btw, or is very expensive, and to be savored ;-) doesn't mean I love them any less, and IMO, my kids learning some self control/moderation isn't a bad thing. To learn that just because they want it doesn't mean they get it, this works w food, toys, any thing they want, but do not need!

btsinmd

Having grown up with brothers that could literally eat everything in the house if they thought it was available to them. I agree with your idea. Make him some of his own when you make yours and when it's gone, it's gone. You are not being a jerk.

I love prime rib and I only allow myself to have it on very special days. Last Christmas was one of them. It was a huge piece of meat. On Christmas Day my mother and I ate a reasonable amount of meat for our Christmas dinner (at about 2 pm) and took out another reasonable portion for lunch the next day. That left 3/4 of the meat for the two boys, 25 and 30 years old. If we hadn't warned them that what we removed was for our lunch and not to touch it, it too would have been gone before they retired for bed.

Teens, and even young men, do not have to eat anything and everything they see.

AZKristi

Food prep is a household chore. As a member of the household, he should he should assist with all chores. If he doesn't want to help you make it, he should pick some other chore he can take off your plate.

WendyBlendy

I think you're being reasonable. My mom would od the same thing, and (she was at high risk for diabetes and therefore just ate like one) would even say, when we wanted her sugar-free stuff, that if we wanted her stuff, we'd have to eat like her for a day or two. After a while, we wanted it badly enough to work for it, and I dare say that your son might do the same.

ShallaLovee1

Oh god, I totally understand. I got to the point where I have "stash" in my room of things I can only see and touch. Usually it consists of my chicken breasts, rice cakes, crackers, gum, chips, occasionally candy LOL. If I leave it out it'll all be gone before I get a chance to even smell it so I understand. You have to keep your valuables near.

Felecia1923

i am trying to cut out processed food, refined sugars and flours.
in doing that, i make myself a sugar free chocolate recipe i found because i do love my chocolate.
my 14 year old son loves the recipe but isn't following any kind of diet or anything.
the chocolate isn't cheap to make plus it does take a bit of time to prepare.

he went to grab a piece of my chocolate tonight and i said if you're going to keep eating that, you will have to help me make it.
i got the typical teenager response of - that's not fair!
then as soon as he finished his chocolate, he reached for a pudding cup.
now i am grumpy today, but i told him if he's going to eat regular junk he doesn't really need to be eating my chocolate.

am i being a jerk?
this stuff actually really helps me stay away from junk food treats.
it's precious to me.
i want to to share, but i do find my son to be a bit greedy - or something.
he would easily polish off my 'treat' without thinking twice.

I let my daughter have a serving size of my "treats" and depending on how much I HAVE I let her have it once a day or once every couple days... helps me from feeling too selfish. Don't know how it would work with a teen seeing as my daughter is 3.lol

If it helps I do the same thing with her daddy too and it works.

mountaingirl2207

I have a teenage son, and I think what's important to mention here, is the appetite of the average teenage boy. If my son were really trying to make healthy choices, then of course I would share. 1 serving, in moderation, because that's the healthy choice. However,if your son is like mine, he could polish off the whole batch, a second batch, and still have room for the pudding. In that case, I think its okay to say that you make it for yourself because it is healthier, and he needs to understand that. I tell my son what he can and can't have, because if I didn't I would get up on Monday morning after a weekend and he would have eaten everything (and I mean everything) in the house.

highervibes

I would make double the chocolate recipe and stop buying pudding cups. My kids only eat what I bring in the house, so I only keep high quality food in the house. It's more expensive but when you consider missed work days cause you have sick kids with crappy immune systems, it's probably a wash. My guess is your teenager won't buy his own groceries. I would have a hard time eating healthy options while my son ate the less healthy option. I do understand your frustration though because my husband does this to me sometimes when I make home made beef jerky. Too much of anything isn't good for you and beef jerky is a long investment for a short payout of him eating it all in one episode of walking dead lol