The girl I like (Only people that accept bi/gay's read)

Options
2»

Replies

  • sethysgirl
    sethysgirl Posts: 45
    Options
    First thing: You do not need to lose weight to attract the right person for you. I was 250lbs when I met my fiancee, wore a size 20-22 and he was still attracted to me. He is the perfect weight, but he still wanted to meet me, even at my large self.
    Second thing: I know how hard it is to get your self -esteem back to good (or up to good if you are anything like me), but it is worth it. I have never, ever been able to like myself and I just recently started to love myself for the first time, ever. It takes some hard work and sometimes the work is harder to do than other times, but talk positively to yourself and don't let yourself insult you, even in a joking manner. Once I was able to cut out all the negative self talk and increase my positive self talk, my life got better and I loved myself.
    I'm sorry you feel like you don't deserve the girl of your dreams, but I hope you feel better about yourself soon and if it is meant to be, she would be fine with however you look.
    Ps. BTW, I am 173lbs, 5'2, in a size 12, and I am happy with how I look (Not that I don't need to lose more weight, but I think I look pretty cute now).
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    Options
    maybe she wants more than just a stick thin stunner.
    maybe you're attractive to her on multiple levels.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Options
    Before I even start writing I want to say, if you have a problem with bisexual/gay/transgender , any of that.. You can just click the X button at the top.

    but wouldnt I be better off clicking the MyHome button? I mean i dont want to lose the web browser completely?
  • CaliSteph
    CaliSteph Posts: 142 Member
    Options
    I have to agree with the others - if you want to lose weight for yourself, that's great! If you're losing weight for others, that's not going to make you happy in the end. Before you think about a relationship, concentrate on yourself first. I'm sure there are great things about you that you're glossing over because you can't see beyond the mirror.

    Good luck!
  • 17ChargerGirl17
    17ChargerGirl17 Posts: 441
    Options
    . My boyfriend is 5'8" and 180 lbs. No fat on him at all and when we first met I was 115 lbs more then I am now. He loved me for me and even tho he is very proud of me for losing weight, it was not an issue to him. But it was to me. And not because I wanted to lose weight for him. I wanted to lose weight for myself and make myself happy and healthy... So I do know what you feel and where you are coming from.
    Don't let your size or not so high self esteem get in the way of what you want and how you feel. Just have confidence in yourself my friend.
  • ApexLeader
    ApexLeader Posts: 580 Member
    Options
    It's horrendous to feel like you aren't good enough for someone. When I met my other half, I was a size 10, and happy with myself and my body. I ballooned up two dress sizes and a HECK of a load of emotional issues.
    However, someone who makes you feel like you aren't good enough (even if it's not done on purpose) is not worth the effort and emotion.
    But - if you can use anything as motivation - USE IT! Even if it's to show her that you can do a heck of a lot better!!

    so you think people shouldn't have standards?
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    Options
    There's no such thing as a league.

    Or so I've been told. I keep telling myself it anyway.
  • pghlulu
    pghlulu Posts: 42
    Options
    Maybe she is attracted to who you are as a person, overall, and not the number on your scale!

    Personally my attractions are founded on who the person is inside, and can greatly influence my view of their outer appearance....you know what they say, it's what's inside that counts!
  • AnneU93
    AnneU93 Posts: 114 Member
    Options
    well my boyfriend is a skinny Asian and I am an average Caucasian, but when I met him I was skinnier than him, but stupidly enough when we moved in together I started eating like he did, but my metabolism is no match for his and he continued being skinny while I blew up. So not only was I then 6 cm/2.4 inches taller than him with a love for 12 cm/ 4.7 inches heels, his width could fit twice in my width, so imagine how I felt we looked at parties me going around holding hand with him being then with heals a head taller than him and twice the diameter :tongue:

    I'm a girl by the way, and it is pretty common for girl to want their boyfriend to be bigger it's in the nature -something about feeling protected :)
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    Options
    It's horrendous to feel like you aren't good enough for someone. When I met my other half, I was a size 10, and happy with myself and my body. I ballooned up two dress sizes and a HECK of a load of emotional issues.
    However, someone who makes you feel like you aren't good enough (even if it's not done on purpose) is not worth the effort and emotion.
    But - if you can use anything as motivation - USE IT! Even if it's to show her that you can do a heck of a lot better!!

    so you think people shouldn't have standards?
    or personal taste.
  • valeriewxy
    valeriewxy Posts: 418 Member
    Options
    I dont think your issue is losing the weight...I think you need to work on your self esteem. From this and many of your previous posts, it seems taht your entire self worth is wrapped around how thin you are. Maybe you should work on you before you try and get into another relationship. Work on loving yourself first! YOURE WORTH IT!!!

    I do need to work on my self-esteem soooo much but I think that's because I am the size I am. I think if I got rid of the weight, I wouldn't put myself last or be insecure and stuff.

    Hmm, I'm not sure :) I think you have the "excuse" of your weight being the reason for your low self-esteem now, but I think if you don't sort that out first, it won't ever matter what weight you are, cos you're going to feel ****ty about yourself. I hope you will learn to love yourself! It's tough enough to get into a relationship with someone you think is amazing. Imagine how much harder it would be if you also thought of yourself as less than amazing ;)

    P.S. Besides, she said you're pretty. I'd take that compliment at face value *grin* Enjoy it.
  • lwestmore86
    lwestmore86 Posts: 2
    Options
    Firstly, she DID say u were pretty... As someone with low self-esteem myself I'm guessing that if ur anything like me, u'll not even humour this though as the negativity +body comparison is what u focus on. Take a minute +jus enjoy the compliment. Secondly, from what I've read she seems to be very shallow as yeah its great she has confidence abt how fantastic she thinks (+no doubt u think) she looks.. But to be comparative abt her ex like that jus indicates that a)she's a bit too into herself, b)demonstrating the need to put down her ex +her appearance shows there is still some sort of need to be negative towards her, eg she's still into her or she's still hurtin from the break up.

    I'm not trying to be a psychologist but I can say, u ARE a pretty girl +maybe when u can feel that ur happy with urself, u'll see that u dont want someone who aesthetically might be "perfect" but no doubt has an ugly interior. Be happy, healthy, confident +u'll find someone who is a million times better inside +out.
    oh and, i'v always followed the mantra. "bones are for the dog, meat is for the (wo)man"
    women are supposed to have curves, its what makes them womanly!!!
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Options
    I dont think your issue is losing the weight...I think you need to work on your self esteem. From this and many of your previous posts, it seems taht your entire self worth is wrapped around how thin you are. Maybe you should work on you before you try and get into another relationship. Work on loving yourself first! YOURE WORTH IT!!!

    I do need to work on my self-esteem soooo much but I think that's because I am the size I am. I think if I got rid of the weight, I wouldn't put myself last or be insecure and stuff.

    It could be your size, but it could also not be your size. I'm perfectly thin and still hate most things about myself and feel like I'm never good enough. Please work on your self esteem WHILE you try to get healthier. That way both things should improve.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    Options
    "Yea.. she's cute but she's nothing special.. not saying i am and not trying to be cocky but she won't get better than me."
    some people are so down on the girl for saying this.
    like it's a terrible, ugly crime of ego for us to tell ourselves that, sod it, we were too good for that ex anyway!

    my how society hates women to feel happy with themselves.
  • paige_eloise
    paige_eloise Posts: 170 Member
    Options
    It's horrendous to feel like you aren't good enough for someone. When I met my other half, I was a size 10, and happy with myself and my body. I ballooned up two dress sizes and a HECK of a load of emotional issues.
    However, someone who makes you feel like you aren't good enough (even if it's not done on purpose) is not worth the effort and emotion.
    But - if you can use anything as motivation - USE IT! Even if it's to show her that you can do a heck of a lot better!!

    so you think people shouldn't have standards?

    At no point did I say people shouldn't have standards. It's up to the individual to fancy whoever they want.
    Just don't think it's right to make others feel bad about themselves.
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    Options
    What's with the standards straw man argument? It's not a matter of whether people should or shouldn't have standards, But rather how are they treating others? You can have your standard, but your standards give you no right to treat others who don't meet your standards poorly.
  • paige_eloise
    paige_eloise Posts: 170 Member
    Options
    Thank you ^
  • kitcatsheart
    kitcatsheart Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    OKay I just had to reply to this. First I do want to say that you really need to be with a girl who is going to love you for you, no matter what. When I met my partner Tanya I was thinner than I am now but at the time I still wasnt small. I'm 4'9 and then I was a size 8. My partner however is thin and built and an amazing person to be around the whole package. Our 2 best friends were dating and decided to set us up on a blind date and once I met her I knew I had to get to know her. The first day I met her I thought she was so out of my league and that she was definitional just being nice by being so sweet to me but then we saw eachother every day even if she just stopped by my job for my break. She kept calling and kept texting until a month or two went by and and she spent mothers day with my mom since I was working and that night when I got home I was so tired, she made me dinner tucked me in to bed and asked me if I would be hers.

    Here we are now several years later
    The reason I say you need someone who is going to love you for you is because since Tanya loves to eat and we go out to eat together a lot I am not 30lbs heavier than I was when we met lol. She still treats me like I'm a princess and the most beautiful girl in the world even if I dont always feel like I am. Weight means nothing to her because she fell in love with me as a person.
    We were legally married in NY where we're from on October 9th 2012

    So losing weight to gain her interest or feel on her level isnt fair to you. You know you would be good to her and she's missing out if she's too hung up on abs to see that. Maybe you dont have a six pack but you care about her, that makes you special :)

Categories