Eye Opener

SunnyZain76

Hey everyone, well I survived the weekend but not in a healthy way. I had some company come in last Thursday and everything went down hill from there as far as dieting. I want to share something that happened to me on Saturday night and it became a real eye opener for me. I'm having drinks at the bar and my gf that was visiting me starts an conversation with some random guys, teasing one of them asking if he worked for a talk show. The guy she was refering him to was the bodyguard on Jerry Springer, the one with the shaved head. So he turnes to me laughing and carrying on how he can't believe how my friend thinks he looks like that guy and so I laughed and asked was he sure he wasn't the guy just being silly and he looks at me and says something about being fat and overweight. I don't know if it was the drinks in me that got me lost in that statement but I thought he was directing that comment to me especially the look on my friend's face, she thought the same thing. Anyways, It took everything for me not to break down & I didn't want some strange guy see to my insecurities so I set there for that awkward long second & got up to break myself from the group for a few minutes before I lost it. So when I returned back to my seat the guy turned to me apologizing for the confusion and how he was not directing that to me at all explaining how he was stating that he thought the bodyguard that my friend was comparing him to was out of shape & how he's in so much better shape. I realized that very moment how I really need to fix myself, fix my personal issues with weight. Weight conversations has become so sensitive to me. I hate how I feel about myself & I know my gf was just sticking up but I wished she never said anything about his comment because by then he was well aware of my insecurities & it was just so awkward for us all. So with that said, I know I've got to fix myself, stop messing up and get serious with working out & losing weight. I know at the end I will feel much better about myself and not feel uncomfortable about any conversations about weight.

cerexflikex

Sounds like it was an innocent enough conversation. Stay positive, and take the time needed to improve yourself. It doesn't happen overnight, but you will get there.

kniknaack

Hey SunnyZane, I can relate! I have struggled with my weight my whole life. My own mother used to crack fat jokes at my expense when I was just a very young child (before the age of 10), which left me with years of feeling fat, inadequate, ugly and just plain worthless. She says she doesn't remember doing this, but I know it's just shame on her part that keeps her in denial. As a result of this, I have always had the impression that any fat remark, joke or reference was directly aimed at me. I know now, that most of the time it was my own insecurities that made me think those things,(not to disregard what was said to me) but I knew it was something I had to deal with and move past. I have only been on this MFP journey for 2 weeks as of today, and have lost several inches and 4 pounds so far. But what I have gained is far more precious to me, and that is, to love me no matter what the world thinks. There will always be mean people who will want to hurt you for a laugh or to make themselves feel better about who they are. But, as long as you learn to love and believe in you, that's all the matters. Keep your chin up and your eyes on the prize! A healthier, happier and confident YOU!!!! :flowerforyou:

SunnyZain76

Thank you

SunnyZain76

Awe, thank you and great job too!