Frustration Is Not Fun

storm15918

Hi all. So I've been logging on MFP for a month or so now, and it's been great. The weight was just dropping off and my running was improving too. All was well. Until this week anyway. For some reason I've apparently gained around 2 lbs. back, which is depressing since I've only lost 9 so far. Now, I did 'cheat' twice recently for my birthday, and honestly it was worth it. But even when I ate over my calorie limit, I worked my butt of at the gym and planned my other days so I was always under my weekly limit. I know it's not physically possible that I ate 7,000 calories over, especially with the exercise I've been getting, but I still just feel like I messed up somewhere. I realize it's probably just me being to hard on myself again and there's probably another reason why the scale is higher than usual. But no matter how much logic I throw at things, I still can't help but feel a bit discouraged by this set back. I'm hoping that it's just a fluke and I'll be back to my lower weight come Friday (official weigh in day). I'll take measurements that day too and maybe see something positive. But until then, I just feel kind of frustrated. I'm going to keep working my butt off and I've already logged my whole week so I know I won't go over my weekly limit, but sometimes it's just hard to feel motivated when things do the opposite of what you hope for.

Sorry for the long rant. I just needed to vent, and who better to talk to then those who are going through the same process?

jadams1650

Not to be a jerk, but, you lost 7 lbs. in one month, noticed an improvement in your fitness level, had two great cheat meals...and you're complaining? I think you are doing okay. Ignore the scale, keep doing what you are doing. It is working.

storm15918

Ok...I wasn't complaining so much as just expressing my frustration with not knowing what's going on with my body and trying to not blame myself for weird changes in my weight. I came here looking to talk with others who have also had those small set backs so we could support each other. I didn't come here for someone to immediately tell me that I'm wrong for posting something. This is why I never post on here. Am I pleased with my results so far? Of course. But that doesn't mean I can't be frustrated by a sudden set back when I haven't really changed what I'm doing. Excuse me for thinking this was the motivation and SUPPORT forum...

jadams1650

How was what I posted not support. I was just pointing out your unrealistic expectations. As I said, "it is working keep going". A lot of people here would be ecstatic to lose 7 lbs. in one month. Jeesh, get edgy much?

Sqeekyjojo

Could you be due on?

Sounds like it to me.

Unless you're a dude.


Other than that, go use the bathroom and you'll be fine.

storm15918

How was what I posted not support. I was just pointing out your unrealistic expectations. As I said, "it is working keep going". A lot of people here would be ecstatic to lose 7 lbs. in one month. Jeesh, get edgy much?

I think you missed the point of my post. I was just expressing frustration with learning to deal with body fluctuations and the mental changes that are a part of this process. I don't expect to lose tons of weight in a short time, and I know that a large part of what I've already lost is the usual big beginner drop that most people experience. I also know that weight fluctuates. My point was that this was a weird fluctuation compared to what my body normally does, and that it was just a bit discouraging. Do I think it'll go away? Of course. But that doesn't mean it wasn't a surprise to see it in the first place. And I'm sorry, but if you have to start a supportive post with 'Not to be a jerk', then how supportive do you really think you're being? If you think you sound like a jerk then don't say it. It's like when people say 'No offense, but...' and then say something offensive. Also your continual implying that I'm not happy with my success so far is not appreciated, especially after I said that I was very happy with it.

Could you be due on?

I'm not familiar with this phrase. What does it mean?

jadams1650

I guess in my book, support doesn't always mean "rainbows and butterflies". Sometimes support (especially when someone is starting out) requires telling someone they are being unrealistic. You clearly didn't want to hear that. But whatever, I hope you are successful with your new healthy lifestyle. I will get out of this thread now. Have a nice life.

Sqeekyjojo

How was what I posted not support. I was just pointing out your unrealistic expectations. As I said, "it is working keep going". A lot of people here would be ecstatic to lose 7 lbs. in one month. Jeesh, get edgy much?

I think you missed the point of my post. I was just expressing frustration with learning to deal with body fluctuations and the mental changes that are a part of this process. I don't expect to lose tons of weight in a short time, and I know that a large part of what I've already lost is the usual big beginner drop that most people experience. I also know that weight fluctuates. My point was that this was a weird fluctuation compared to what my body normally does, and that it was just a bit discouraging. Do I think it'll go away? Of course. But that doesn't mean it wasn't a surprise to see it in the first place. And I'm sorry, but if you have to start a supportive post with 'Not to be a jerk', then how supportive do you really think you're being? If you think you sound like a jerk then don't say it. It's like when people say 'No offense, but...' and then say something offensive. Also your continual implying that I'm not happy with my success so far is not appreciated, especially after I said that I was very happy with it.

Could you be due on?

I'm not familiar with this phrase. What does it mean?

Is this the week leading up to your period?

storm15918

Wait. Don't leave just yet. I have an actual question. But first, I know support isn't rainbows and butterflies all the time. I wasn't looking for that though. I was just looking to talk to people who have gone through similar experiences. The idea of support I was talking about was sharing experiences. Maybe I should clarify that next time.

But anyway, my question. What are you defining as unrealistic? I never mentioned a goal or anything, so I don't know what you're basing that off of? It's not being told I'm unrealistic that bothers me, it's that you keep saying I am but never explaining why you think that. I'm just curious where you're getting that idea from. And I don't mean this in a harsh way. I'm legitimately curious. Is it that I was frustrated with some number shenanigans? Or what? I'm confused as to why you think this, and I'd like to understand.

storm15918

Could you be due on?

I'm not familiar with this phrase. What does it mean?

Is this the week leading up to your period?

Ok, that's what I thought you meant but I've just never heard it put that way before. (Un)fortunately I don't think that's the issue right now. I'm thinking I'll try drinking more water though because I don't think I've gotten enough recently, which might be the problem. I go through cycles of forgetting to drink it. It's not a good cycle to be in, but if I don't feel thirsty I forget to drink. Gotta work on that lol. Like I said earlier, I think it'll go away eventually, and I wouldn't be shocked if low water intake was the culprit. It's a good wake up call to drink more either way though I guess!

jadams1650

In your post you express your frustration that after one month (I equate to 4 weeks) your weight loss of 9 lbs. has been undermined because of a gain of 2 lbs. on your last trip to the scale. Taking the average between the two weigh-in's (assuming 9 lbs. and 7 lbs. were both in error) I come up with approximately 8 lbs. of loss. This would equate to 2 lbs. per week. You will find out that two pounds per week equates to a 7000 calorie deficit per week, or 1000 calorie per day deficit to your TDEE. If you are not morbidly obese (I take it by your goal of 32 lbs. of total weight loss goal that you are not) a 7000 calorie per week deficit is unsustainable, unhealthy, and therefore unrealistic. The single biggest problem you will see on this site is people trying to lose too fast and setting themselves up for failure. They do this by either not eating enough and forcing their bodies into "starvation mode", or, having unrealistic goals and frustrating themselves into quitting.

I did not say you were frustrated by an 8 lb. loss in a month, you did, in the title of your thread. I was just trying to point out that your frustration is rather misplaced if you look at the big picture. So, here is what I have learned in my rather short journey into a healthier lifestyle:

1. Weight loss is not linear. You will lose, you will gain, but if you stick with the process the results will come.
2. Setting up unrealistic expectations is the #1 reason for frustration and failure.
3. Set up a logical and scientific process for your weight loss and stick to it...the results will come.
4. Get on the scale as infrequently as possible.
5. Take encouragement in small accomplishments (NSV's are a perfect example) and ignore small setbacks.
6. This process must be about healthy (and sustainable) weight loss...otherwise it is just another yo-yo diet.
7. It took time to get fat, it will take time to get healthy.
8. Obsess about healthy eating and exercise, don't obsess about the number on the scale...it will take care of itself.

Can I go now?

storm15918

In your post you express your frustration that after one month (I equate to 4 weeks) your weight loss of 9 lbs. has been undermined because of a gain of 2 lbs. on your last trip to the scale. Taking the average between the two weigh-in's (assuming 9 lbs. and 7 lbs. were both in error) I come up with approximately 8 lbs. of loss. This would equate to 2 lbs. per week. You will find out that two pounds per week equates to a 7000 calorie deficit per week, or 1000 calorie per day deficit to your TDEE. If you are not morbidly obese (I take it by your goal of 32 lbs. of total weight loss goal that you are not) a 7000 calorie per week deficit is unsustainable, unhealthy, and therefore unrealistic. The single biggest problem you will see on this site is people trying to lose too fast and setting themselves up for failure. They do this by either not eating enough and forcing their bodies into "starvation mode", or, having unrealistic goals and frustrating themselves into quitting.

I did not say you were frustrated by an 8 lb. loss in a month, you did, in the title of your thread. I was just trying to point out that your frustration is rather misplaced if you look at the big picture. So, here is what I have learned in my rather short journey into a healthier lifestyle:

1. Weight loss is not linear. You will lose, you will gain, but if you stick with the process the results will come.
2. Setting up unrealistic expectations is the #1 reason for frustration and failure.
3. Set up a logical and scientific process for your weight loss and stick to it...the results will come.
4. Get on the scale as infrequently as possible.
5. Take encouragement in small accomplishments (NSV's are a perfect example) and ignore small setbacks.
6. This process must be about healthy (and sustainable) weight loss...otherwise it is just another yo-yo diet.
7. It took time to get fat, it will take time to get healthy.
8. Obsess about healthy eating and exercise, don't obsess about the number on the scale...it will take care of itself.

Can I go now?

I appreciate the fact that you came back and answered.

To be honest, I have no clue how I've lost so much in so little time. My profile is set to 1 lb. a week, and I actually just increased my daily calories from 1,350 (MFP's number) to 1,500. I usually don't go under my weekly limits by huge amounts either. I figured it was water weight or something? I specifically avoided 2 lbs. a week because 1,200 is just too low for me.

The first time I tried using MFP I wasn't doing things right and was sometimes below 1,200 since I didn't eat back exercise calories. Huge mistake! I didn't realize it at the time, but it really messed with my ability to lose anything and so once school started I took a break. When I decided to try again, I utilized the forums and learned where I went wrong the first time. I've actually been considering doing the 'eat more to weigh less' approach, but it'll take time to get to that point.

You bring up good points about how I can clarify the things I type. I must admit that I've never been the best with writing clearly. I forget that people don't see the things in my head, so what makes sense to me might not be so clear to others. I'll work on that

I've been trying to keep many of the things you listed in mind as I progress though this journey. I usually ignore scale fluctuations since I know they happen and it's normal. This one caught me off guard since it's just a bit out of place in regards to what my body has been doing. Like I said though, I'm sure it'll go away. It's just annoying to see lol. Also, NSVs are awesome! While I've only had one so far, it's something I still take pride in everyday and try to keep in the front of my mind when I step on the scale. I promise you that I'm trying to do this the healthy way, and honestly the numbers are as shocking to me as they are to you.

I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot. I will admit that I got a bit heated in the beginning. I didn't understand where you were coming from or why you thought the way you did. I reacted too quickly. That's why I asked for this explanation. I appreciate your concern about losing too fast, and I'm glad we got the chance to explain ourselves to each other. I'm sorry this got all messy. Truce? :flowerforyou:

jadams1650

No problem, no offense was taken. This is a web forum after all. Good luck to you on your weight loss...I hope your progress continues.

storm15918

Yeah, the interwebs is an...interesting place lol. Thanks and good luck to you too!