How Can Shy or Introverted People Meet?

sugarandspice27

I've always imagined myself with a nice, thoughtful, insightful, deep thinking guy. Usually, these men are on the shy side. Here's the problem: so am I! We may pass and see each other but no one ever breaks the ice so we never meet. How tragic! I always meet very outgoing, extroverted guys that can be quite charming but usually we're too different to make it last in the long term.

So how are the shy people supposed to meet each other? It's a conundrum.

- Sugar & Spice

catrinaHwechanged

The Internet?? Everybody has balls there!

Jersey_Devil

The Internet?? Everybody has balls there!

^^ true story

BlackStarDeceiver

The Internet?? Everybody has balls there!

Sometimes they even have three.

Timshel_

Usually in some innocuous way. I NEVER dated, pre se. The girls I hung out with I would meet through mutual interest areas. Like people I played volleyball with in a league, or through church and clubs. It made it easier to talk because there was a common interest and things would go from there.

Good luck.

_noob_

Wife and I went fishing...

matt2442

Become a monk and youll meet lots of people who dont talk either

_the_feniks_

At a Plushie party.

_noob_

Become a monk and youll meet lots of people who dont talk either

I don't follow...

NotRailMeat

Probably by accident...

skinnyinnotime

Drink vodka. :drinker:

You'd be surprised how the shyness melts away and your confidence grows as well as the ability to speak to absolutely anyone!

sugarandspice27

I'm not really a fan of internet dating....

myofibril

Everybody has balls there!

That's what I'm worried about!

Mavrick7a

I've always imagined myself with a nice, thoughtful, insightful, deep thinking guy. Usually, these men are on the shy side. Here's the problem: so am I! We may pass and see each other but no one ever breaks the ice so we never meet. How tragic! I always meet very outgoing, extroverted guys that can be quite charming but usually we're too different to make it last in the long term.

So how are the shy people supposed to meet each other? It's a conundrum.

- Sugar & Spice

@OP - they say that opposites attract, and to some degree it's true! For me, I am an Introvert, and realizing that I make extroverts uncomfortable, I have learned to adapt.
Here are a few examples:
Introverts
Quiet, deep thinking, good listeners, fewer friends

Often seen as:
Analytical, anti-social, judgemental

General Recommendations to Attract Introverts
1. You will need to initiate conversation. Don't ask too many questions. You hate that I and I hate that, right?
2. Ask open ended questions, listening for his interests. Never discuss or elaborate on something that you don't know anything about.
3. Instead of probing him, share interesting things about yourself. You will be vulnerable, but most introverts will ask questions to understand more about you or story that you are sharing.
4. Avoid grumbling or venting. Not a good introductory discussion and he may start to judge you in the wrong way.

sweetzoejane

I've always imagined myself with a nice, thoughtful, insightful, deep thinking guy. Usually, these men are on the shy side. Here's the problem: so am I! We may pass and see each other but no one ever breaks the ice so we never meet. How tragic! I always meet very outgoing, extroverted guys that can be quite charming but usually we're too different to make it last in the long term.

So how are the shy people supposed to meet each other? It's a conundrum.

- Sugar & Spice

@OP - they say that opposites attract, and to some degree it's true! For me, I am an Introvert, and realizing that I make extroverts uncomfortable, I have learned to adapt.
Here are a few examples:
Introverts
Quiet, deep thinking, good listeners, fewer friends

Often seen as:
Analytical, anti-social, judgemental

General Recommendations to Attract Introverts
1. You will need to initiate conversation. Don't ask too many questions. You hate that I and I hate that, right?
2. Ask open ended questions, listening for his interests. Never discuss or elaborate on something that you don't know anything about.
3. Instead of probing him, share interesting things about yourself. You will be vulnerable, but most introverts will ask questions to understand more about you or story that you are sharing.
4. Avoid grumbling or venting. Not a good introductory discussion and he may start to judge you in the wrong way.

This is actually excellent advice.

And don't be afraid of falling for an extrovert. I've been with one for 8 years. We sort-of balance one another out in a way. He likes to be the center of attention, and I hate it. He likes to talk a lot. A LOT. I don't. Extroverts can help you make friends, too. Honestly, I think I used to be a true introvert before I met him, and now I would just consider myself a "shy extrovert".

dym123

Check out Meetup.com for your area. I'm the same way and joined a couple of groups that forced me to get out of my comfort zone.

More_Dakka

Find a group on Meetup.com that interests you and join up. Depending on where you are, you can probably find one for Introverts. That's how I went about it, anyway.

twinketta

I'm not really a fan of internet dating....

I met my hubby on the internet we celebrated 11 years of marriage in March.

It doesn`t have to be a dating site?

If you have interests then you can always find a forum with like minded people?

But having said that there used to a microsoft chat years ago that I met most of my friends on (that I still keep in touch with now)

I met hubby on a dating site we messaged each other about 4 times then met up...never say never...sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone???

supplemama

Shyness is not synonymous with Introversion. Shyness is based on fear of judgement often coupled with low self-esteem. Being an introvert means you like spending time alone and are dislike/are overwhelmed by large groups of people. You get your energy, you're recharged from spending time alone. You do best with people one-on-one and/or in small groups.

I am an introvert, but I am not shy at all. I know plenty of introverts who are also not shy. We just dislike a lot of talking or gabbing or the in-your-face loudness and rah-rah extroverts are known for. Next time you come across a calm,quiet guy who appears to be an introvert, maybe just try smiling at him. Then simply introduce yourself.

sugarandspice27

Shyness is not synonymous with Introversion. Shyness is based on fear of judgement often coupled with low self-esteem. Being an introvert means you like spending time alone and are dislike/are overwhelmed by large groups of people. You get your energy, you're recharged from spending time alone. You do best with people one-on-one and/or in small groups.

I am an introvert, but I am not shy at all. I know plenty of introverts who are also not shy. We just dislike a lot of talking or gabbing or the in-your-face loudness and rah-rah extroverts are known for. Next time you come across a calm,quiet guy who appears to be an introvert, maybe just try smiling at him. Then simply introduce yourself.

Yes, I am an initially shy (I don't like meeting new people) introvert (I need lots of time alone to recharge). That being stated, I can get out and be extroverted in the right mood, but it's not my natural state, rather a second, developed, nature.

sugarandspice27

Check out Meetup.com for your area. I'm the same way and joined a couple of groups that forced me to get out of my comfort zone.

I always forget about Meetup! I like this idea, at least we'll know we have something in common.

bronnyd

Shyness is not synonymous with Introversion. Shyness is based on fear of judgement often coupled with low self-esteem. Being an introvert means you like spending time alone and are dislike/are overwhelmed by large groups of people. You get your energy, you're recharged from spending time alone. You do best with people one-on-one and/or in small groups.

I am an introvert, but I am not shy at all. I know plenty of introverts who are also not shy. We just dislike a lot of talking or gabbing or the in-your-face loudness and rah-rah extroverts are known for. Next time you come across a calm,quiet guy who appears to be an introvert, maybe just try smiling at him. Then simply introduce yourself.

This is an EXCELLENT description! I too am an introvert, but I am not shy. The two are often seen as synonymous but being an introvert or extrovert is really all about how you recharge (extros get their energy from people and intros get their energy by being alone). I love social situations, but as an introvert need a few nights a week where I can be alone in my home to recharge my energy and keep shining!

djmodernroq

Alcohol. sad but true.

CLFrancois

Elbee1

I don't know if I am shy or introvert -- one or the other, or both :-}
I married a true extrovert & we've been married for 28 years! It's been fun & never a dull moment! We are opposite in most ways except we share our most core values. We kinda knew of each other due to our Mom's being friends, but we didn't speak to each other or go out until we saw each other at a religious singles group bowling (of all things!) party. I only went to a couple of these religious singles group parties... but that was where we met. I introduced two friends of mine that didn't know each other at one of these parties, too, and they have been married for many years, too.

Linda

TheStephil

The Internet?? Everybody has balls there!

My bf and I are both on the shy side and that's how we met.

dmpizza

Half the people I know met in a bar on St Patrick's Day.