How Can Shy or Introverted People Meet?
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sugarandspice27
Posts: 521 Member
in Chit-Chat
I've always imagined myself with a nice, thoughtful, insightful, deep thinking guy. Usually, these men are on the shy side. Here's the problem: so am I! We may pass and see each other but no one ever breaks the ice so we never meet. How tragic! I always meet very outgoing, extroverted guys that can be quite charming but usually we're too different to make it last in the long term.
So how are the shy people supposed to meet each other? It's a conundrum.
- Sugar & Spice
So how are the shy people supposed to meet each other? It's a conundrum.
- Sugar & Spice
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Replies
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The Internet?? Everybody has balls there!0
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The Internet?? Everybody has balls there!
^^ true story0 -
The Internet?? Everybody has balls there!
Sometimes they even have three.0 -
Usually in some innocuous way. I NEVER dated, pre se. The girls I hung out with I would meet through mutual interest areas. Like people I played volleyball with in a league, or through church and clubs. It made it easier to talk because there was a common interest and things would go from there.
Good luck.0 -
Wife and I went fishing...0
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Become a monk and youll meet lots of people who dont talk either0
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At a Plushie party.0
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Become a monk and youll meet lots of people who dont talk either
I don't follow...0 -
Probably by accident...0
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Drink vodka. :drinker:
You'd be surprised how the shyness melts away and your confidence grows as well as the ability to speak to absolutely anyone!0 -
I'm not really a fan of internet dating....0
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Everybody has balls there!
That's what I'm worried about!0 -
I've always imagined myself with a nice, thoughtful, insightful, deep thinking guy. Usually, these men are on the shy side. Here's the problem: so am I! We may pass and see each other but no one ever breaks the ice so we never meet. How tragic! I always meet very outgoing, extroverted guys that can be quite charming but usually we're too different to make it last in the long term.
So how are the shy people supposed to meet each other? It's a conundrum.
- Sugar & Spice
@OP - they say that opposites attract, and to some degree it's true! For me, I am an Introvert, and realizing that I make extroverts uncomfortable, I have learned to adapt.
Here are a few examples:
Introverts
Quiet, deep thinking, good listeners, fewer friends
Often seen as:
Analytical, anti-social, judgemental
General Recommendations to Attract Introverts
1. You will need to initiate conversation. Don't ask too many questions. You hate that I and I hate that, right?
2. Ask open ended questions, listening for his interests. Never discuss or elaborate on something that you don't know anything about.
3. Instead of probing him, share interesting things about yourself. You will be vulnerable, but most introverts will ask questions to understand more about you or story that you are sharing.
4. Avoid grumbling or venting. Not a good introductory discussion and he may start to judge you in the wrong way.0 -
I've always imagined myself with a nice, thoughtful, insightful, deep thinking guy. Usually, these men are on the shy side. Here's the problem: so am I! We may pass and see each other but no one ever breaks the ice so we never meet. How tragic! I always meet very outgoing, extroverted guys that can be quite charming but usually we're too different to make it last in the long term.
So how are the shy people supposed to meet each other? It's a conundrum.
- Sugar & Spice
@OP - they say that opposites attract, and to some degree it's true! For me, I am an Introvert, and realizing that I make extroverts uncomfortable, I have learned to adapt.
Here are a few examples:
Introverts
Quiet, deep thinking, good listeners, fewer friends
Often seen as:
Analytical, anti-social, judgemental
General Recommendations to Attract Introverts
1. You will need to initiate conversation. Don't ask too many questions. You hate that I and I hate that, right?
2. Ask open ended questions, listening for his interests. Never discuss or elaborate on something that you don't know anything about.
3. Instead of probing him, share interesting things about yourself. You will be vulnerable, but most introverts will ask questions to understand more about you or story that you are sharing.
4. Avoid grumbling or venting. Not a good introductory discussion and he may start to judge you in the wrong way.
This is actually excellent advice.
And don't be afraid of falling for an extrovert. I've been with one for 8 years. We sort-of balance one another out in a way. He likes to be the center of attention, and I hate it. He likes to talk a lot. A LOT. I don't. Extroverts can help you make friends, too. Honestly, I think I used to be a true introvert before I met him, and now I would just consider myself a "shy extrovert".0 -
Check out Meetup.com for your area. I'm the same way and joined a couple of groups that forced me to get out of my comfort zone.0
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Find a group on Meetup.com that interests you and join up. Depending on where you are, you can probably find one for Introverts. That's how I went about it, anyway.0
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I'm not really a fan of internet dating....
I met my hubby on the internet we celebrated 11 years of marriage in March.
It doesn`t have to be a dating site?
If you have interests then you can always find a forum with like minded people?
But having said that there used to a microsoft chat years ago that I met most of my friends on (that I still keep in touch with now)
I met hubby on a dating site we messaged each other about 4 times then met up...never say never...sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone???0 -
Shyness is not synonymous with Introversion. Shyness is based on fear of judgement often coupled with low self-esteem. Being an introvert means you like spending time alone and are dislike/are overwhelmed by large groups of people. You get your energy, you're recharged from spending time alone. You do best with people one-on-one and/or in small groups.
I am an introvert, but I am not shy at all. I know plenty of introverts who are also not shy. We just dislike a lot of talking or gabbing or the in-your-face loudness and rah-rah extroverts are known for. Next time you come across a calm,quiet guy who appears to be an introvert, maybe just try smiling at him. Then simply introduce yourself.0 -
Shyness is not synonymous with Introversion. Shyness is based on fear of judgement often coupled with low self-esteem. Being an introvert means you like spending time alone and are dislike/are overwhelmed by large groups of people. You get your energy, you're recharged from spending time alone. You do best with people one-on-one and/or in small groups.
I am an introvert, but I am not shy at all. I know plenty of introverts who are also not shy. We just dislike a lot of talking or gabbing or the in-your-face loudness and rah-rah extroverts are known for. Next time you come across a calm,quiet guy who appears to be an introvert, maybe just try smiling at him. Then simply introduce yourself.
Yes, I am an initially shy (I don't like meeting new people) introvert (I need lots of time alone to recharge). That being stated, I can get out and be extroverted in the right mood, but it's not my natural state, rather a second, developed, nature.0 -
Check out Meetup.com for your area. I'm the same way and joined a couple of groups that forced me to get out of my comfort zone.
I always forget about Meetup! I like this idea, at least we'll know we have something in common.0
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