Losing weight is lucky??

VeeBethTris

I was having a chat with one of my best friends yesterday about weight loss and she said, "If only I was that lucky'. Any one of us who have done the battle of the bulge know there are many components needed in achieving our goals or losing any kind of weight: dedication, determination, motivation, drive, support, MFP, etc but not sure how much luck plays into this. I pretty much blew it off until last night when we went for a post work walk. Where we walk is a very popular area for joggers and walkers alike. A young jogger ran by, and Jenni said, "Ugh look at her all cute and skinny. Why does she have to run?" I mentioned maybe she was heavy like us at some point and continues to run to stay fit? She looked at me and said, "Are you going to be like that? Obnoxiously skinny? Workout all the time? Just to make us fat folk look bad?" Speechless, I kept on walking. She again asked me again if I wanted to get that skinny and wasn't a size 10 enough? "No, a size 10 isn't enough for me. I want a size 6, or 4. And yes I will continue to workout till I can't physically do it anymore." She walked away, went home, and that is the last I have heard from her. I have called, texted, emailed, but nothing. I have had nothing but positive support from family and friends with my fitness journey so not sure what to do with this.

sizzler0123

It's hard to lose a friend over something like that potentially but in all honesty she is obviously not ready for her own journey. Luck has nothing to do with it! It all comes down to hard work and better choices - somedays we do it and some days we don't, but the more good choices we make and the harder we work the farther we come.

I have EARNED every pound I have lost and deserved every pound I have gained back all of my own volition - no luck involved.

Keep working hard and doing what you need to for you!

quiksylver296

That's too bad. Ultimately you can't make her see your side of the issue. I think you should just stay open to her. If she decides to come back, she may need a cheerleader for her own journey. But I have heard of many people losing friends when they changed their life styles. Friends are usually friends because they have things in common. If your life style change means you don't have things in common any more, it may be the right time to move on from this particular friend.

marygee1951

Hopefully your friend will come around. Her choice.

Congratulations to you for the excellent work you have done and your success. You're an inspiration! I'm just starting the journey and I plan (not hope) on being successful like you.:flowerforyou:

m4ttcheek

lol

tammyjane42

YOU DONT FEEL BAD ABOUT ANYTHING YOU HAVE DONE!!! I am so proud of you and you should be too!!! I feel like she will be back ( Envy is a pretty hard thing to swallow) It is hard when you feel like you have been left behind and that is probably how she is feeling, but she needs to be supportive and be there for you and relaize that you are still trying to stay healthy and being there for her. ( She needs to be a true friend and be proud of what you have accomplished ) she should be happy that you are willing to keep a healthy lifestyle. And also be her partner......... I just wish I lived close to my best friend, she has lost alot of weight and I am the one dragging behind, but I am the one with the gym membership where she is walking up and down a dirt road with a neighbor. But I am happy for her. Hugs to you

Goldilocks726

You have to constantly reevaluate your relationships. Its sad that some people come out of the woodwork as "friends of convenience".. at least take comfort in the fact that this person wasn't a good friend, but a friend of convenience... it was no longer a convenient situation for them- and they chose to leave. You already know you have to lose some people when you make this change. Invest time in those that invest in you. and most of all, be proud of yourself that "you are still going to be you, regardless of who anyone else wants to be".

Freedom125

It sounds to me like she's afraid you're judging her for her lack of desire to lose weight, and she's afraid you're going to judge even more - perhaps even ditch her as a friend - when you get closer to your goals.

It sounds like she's very insecure about her own weight, and she's afraid of how your loss is going to affect your friendship with her, so she's taking a defensive "fine, if I can't sabotage her, I'll ditch her first" stance. It's important to realize, though, that she may not even realize that that's what she's doing.

Decide if you still want her friendship, and if you do, make sure you're not coming across judgmentally. Beyond that, all you can do is be supportive if she ever swallows her pride and comes to ask you how to lose weight.

My0WNinspiration

Losing weight is a choice .

ShyCush6

No luck involved at all!!! Some of us are lucky to have a great metabolism or lucky to have good gene pool for chloestorol, blood pressure, etc... but no one is luck to lose weight! You work damn hard for every ounce you have lost and I'm sure all of us can say we are proud of you and you are a real inspiration!! Sounds to me like she is upset she is not ready to commit herself to a journey of her own. What size you want to be has nothing to do with her. If she doesn't come around, it's no loss of yours! Surround yourself with those that support and care for you. My best friend wants to lose 30 lbs. (She just had a baby) But she is one of my biggest cheerleaders. She has not started her journey yet. She said she needs the motivation still. Therefore she tells me to work out for her.. push myself extra hard and that will hopefully be her inspiration to get on her journey. And I know it will be. Don't feel as though you did anything wrong. I think she really wishes she had your will power and drive. And hopefully one day she will get her own!

newandimprovedsara

Woooow. Sounds like she needs a reality check. You don't need negative people like that in your life anyways.

trijoe

It sounds to me like she's afraid you're judging her for her lack of desire to lose weight, and she's afraid you're going to judge even more - perhaps even ditch her as a friend - when you get closer to your goals.

It sounds like she's very insecure about her own weight, and she's afraid of how your loss is going to affect your friendship with her, so she's taking a defensive "fine, if I can't sabotage her, I'll ditch her first" stance. It's important to realize, though, that she may not even realize that that's what she's doing.

Decide if you still want her friendship, and if you do, make sure you're not coming across judgmentally. Beyond that, all you can do is be supportive if she ever swallows her pride and comes to ask you how to lose weight.

I like this answer. Very inciteful.

I'd bet you a dollar to a donut that you already know you did nothing wrong by being honest with your friend. And my guess is you're also well aware that "luck" and "hard work" are NOT interchangeable concepts when it comes to weight loss. Unfortunately this world is filled with people who just aren't that secure with things. It happens. Sometimes people are insecure with how large they are, but sometimes people become insecure with how large they USED to be. And they forget that their road is theirs and theirs only. I don't know about you, but I've known people who've taken the "Harden The F*** Up" approach toward everybody after they had their own taste of success. And it's really annoying when people who used to be the target of judgement become the judges themselves. My guess? You're not one of those people who go from being judged to being the judge. But my next guess is that your friend doesn't give you that credit.

What would be nice for your friend to realize is that sometimes when people improve their bodies, they don't necessarily destroy their sense of acceptance of others. I started walking when I was 250. Walking was all I could do. My goal was to fitness walk till the day I died. As I lost weight and got healthier and stronger, I walked farther and farther. Eventually I even started jogging. The next thing I knew, I was healthy enough to do races. Since then I've done multiple half marathons, full marathons, and triathlons (including 1 ironman). But I still remember those early days. And the truth is, it was harder to be active THEN than it is NOW. Now, a 3 hour bike ride is a snap. Then, a 20 minute stationary bike ride wiped me out for the rest of the day. This is a concept I never let myself forget.

A few years ago I conned 2 friends into joining me for their very first half marathon. We walked it. Every 3rd Saturday for a full year we'd get together and walk a little farther than the last time we met. By the month before the HM, we were walking 13 miles. We CRUSHED it on race day. It's one of my greatest race day memories. My friends still call me "Coach Joe" for kicks and giggles. I keep asking the fine folks at a local running store if I can sign up as a coach for their half marathon walking program. Some day soon they'll have a coaching vacancy and BLAM it's mine.

I hope your friend realizes that just because you have ambitions that go beyond hers, that doesn't mean you'll become just another judge. And I hope she does it soon, so you two can patch things up ASAP and get back to your walks.

RobynDCrossman

Too bad for her.
I hate when people automatically assume that all people who are thin have just been that way forever - not that they've busted booty to get there.

KenosFeoh

What would I do with that? Leave it lie. With a friend like that, who needs an enemy.

liittlesparrow

She sounds like a hater, really.. I'd drop her. If she can't support you and be happy for you, then you don't need her around. That attitude might go into other parts of your friend ship too.

VeeBethTris

Thanks everyone for the input. I was really just ranting and raving. I'm still very flustered with her and quite frankly shocked. She called me Ms. Fitness yesterday in a very sarcastic manner. We have been trying to coordinate a date for her and her family to see her baptized. I would love to be a part of that and told her. I told her I would make it any Sunday but this coming Sunday, the 14th, as it is my race that day. I asked her to come watch me finish the race but she didn't want to be a part of that and share it with me. I walk with her whenever our schedules can jive because I want to encourage her along with her weight loss, wherever she is in her journey. I can take off and run during that time but the time I spend with her walking is better spent towards our friendship. I don't think I would ever be judgmental and don't see that in me. I just pray she comes around.