3000 Calorie Binge

acracklinrosie

Hi MFP people. I've never posted to the message boards before. I'm here now because I want to acknowledge what I've done. I've eaten in secret but I'm hoping that sharing it may deter me from doing it again.

I want to specify that I am not looking for sympathy. I'm not looking for someone to tell me that its okay. Its not. I'm also not looking for negativity. If you have advice on over coming a situation like this please share.

I was upset this morning. Yet again my weight was up, just a bit. It wasn't anything I would normally be upset about, but I was up a little yesterday and the day before that. So when I stepped off the scale this morning I was heart broken, because I have been putting in a legitimate effort to be healthy and lose weight. I even went for a 4 mile hike earlier in the week. That is not the point though.
I went about my day; made coffee, ate breakfast, packed my honeys lunch for work... and then he left for work and I began to crumble. I watched some of my shows on Hulu, moped about the house, and eventually made the decision to go to the store for junk food. I stopped myself 3 times.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Are you really going to the store with the sole intention of buying a bag of Doritos and Reese's?"
So sat there preparing to put on my shoes, asking myself these, and other, questions.
My answer? "No, we need bread"

I did buy bread but I also bought a full size bag of Doritos and a bag of Reese's.

In a matter of an hour I ate 90% of the Doritos and Reese's because I was angry that despite my efforts the scale would just not cooperate.

And now... I'm guilty and ashamed of myself. I worry about what effect these binges have on my body.

I need to learn how to fix this. I can't keep resorting to food for comfort.


I want to thank you for being a witness to my binge. It was embarrassing to share but by writing it down I feel like I've taken away its power. Its not a secret anymore.

Thanks,

Rosie

courtneywiens

You've taken a really healthy step by putting this out there. You don't have to be ashamed of your behavior. I made my diary public to release the shame of eating in secret. I have had to train myself to be proud of what I put in my body, and it helps me to avoid binging. I still overeat sometimes and go way overboard- but I tell myself that if you're doing great 98% of the time, the rare occurrences wont break you. They are much more damaging to your mind than your scale. Just try to remind yourself that you deserve good wholesome food and a healthy body, and be proud of what you consume. When you mess up, allow yourself to recognize that it was a mistake but forgive yourself and move on. Make every effort not to do it again, and if you do, figure out why there is a pattern established and think about what you can do to stop it. If you know moping around the house will cause a binge, maybe go to the library to read or take a walk or go to the mall. If you binge on shopping, you can always return stuff!! And maybe seeing all the nice clothes you could buy will stop you from wanting to binge. It works for me sometimes!

devmiller09

Don't put yourself down! I think when one chastises ones self, we get depressed, thus wanting to feel better through eating - not good!

I watched this documentary about food (can't remember the name of it at the moment!) that said when someone puts themselves on a "diet" it's like their body puts itself into a mode that does not want to cooperate - meaning they're always hungry, craving the wrong things, etc. etc. So they recommended not calling it a "diet" at all, just a way to make yourself healthier. And to also say a quick mantra to yourself everyday, especially when you're feeling down about yourself: "I completely and unconditionally accept myself." Or something along those lines. And say it repeatedly, consistently for 30 days at least.

The main thing is keep your head in the game and NEVER put yourself down. No one is perfect, no one expects you to be perfect. Be yourself and love yourself at ALL times.

Hope this helps :-)

EmmieBaby

we have all had moments like this.

I remember when I was at my lowest I had eaten 2 boxes of Oreo's and 2lt of milk in a day. the scary part was that I was unaware of how much i would be eating until my boyfriend pointed it out.

how do I prevent myself from doing it again? 3 things,

1- I distract myself as much as possible, this is from working out to going on MFP community or fitocracy feed.
2- when I want snacks, I make my own instead of buying. I make a killer pita chip.
3- when I do cheat, I don't beat myself up, i just punish myself with a week challenge ( no sugar for the week, no buying food for a week, no eating out for a week, no meat for a week)

you are not alone hun, and don't worry about your weight, it will go up and down...just look at yourself in the mirror and look at yourself and say "I love you" and keep at it

metacognition

It's not your fault for being hungry. It's your body responding via hormones to being in a deficit - and trying to get you out of it.

Sit tight, try not to keep trigger foods within a room's reach, and increase your calories a little so that binge eating is not as likely.

The less you eat, the more you are likely to binge and overdo cheat meals / days.

I binged a few weeks ago to the tune of 3,500 calories. It happens.

By eating more and going after high protein, high fiber and high nutrient whole foods, I don't have binge cravings. There's a delicate balance to make between staying in a deficit and making good nutritional choices.

kittpitt

Some things can be considered addictive behavoir ,we react the same ways over and over again to negative feelings!A bit scarey but you are sharing this so I guess that is a good sign one step at a time to change! Good for you I hope you continue to share and heal!:happy:

kathrynhallsworth27

I do the same I went to buy a bar of chocolate at work because i told myself i wasnt going to restrick my craving too badly... they didnt have the bar i wanted... so i bought a block. i ate a serving size... then shortly after ate the rest of the block!! i felt sick even before i finished it. but kept eating. dont know why...its clearly a mental thing that i dont understand. i just know the important thing is to not beat yourself up! the next time i do it, I am going to write down how i feel after i do it. and make a promis to myself that i will read it the next time i want to binge.. maybe that will deter me. someone also suggested to me when you crave something naughty to have a spoon ful of peanut butter and then get away from food all together! go for a run or take a warm bath and listen to soft music

JosieRawr

If you're weighing yourself daily, and it affects your mood, you may want to stop the daily weighing. I don't even own a scale, I have done my weigh ins at the gym, I am getting a scale to keep track of the trends in my weight, but as I'm set to .75lb per week I don't have high or fast weight loss expectations. Even if the scale's not moving eating the right food and trying to improve your relationship with food is good for you. It might help to set mini goals for yourself, even daily goals. Something like I started with the goal of drink 5 glasses of just water(I was drinking diet soda, tea, koolaid too) it was something that I could do, then when I got use to that, I upped it. IT's simple, but it's something that I could or could not do, so by doing it, I win. I have a whole bunch of things like that, they keep me motivated and feeling like I'm winning even if the scale isn't moving. Good luck and great job on claiming and owning this occurrence. I log everything I eat, even if I don't like what it does to my numbers, but by not having freebies I can take a step back n look at it..

AlongCame_Molly

Don't put yourself down! I think when one chastises ones self, we get depressed, thus wanting to feel better through eating - not good!

I watched this documentary about food (can't remember the name of it at the moment!) that said when someone puts themselves on a "diet" it's like their body puts itself into a mode that does not want to cooperate - meaning they're always hungry, craving the wrong things, etc. etc. So they recommended not calling it a "diet" at all, just a way to make yourself healthier. And to also say a quick mantra to yourself everyday, especially when you're feeling down about yourself: "I completely and unconditionally accept myself." Or something along those lines. And say it repeatedly, consistently for 30 days at least.

The main thing is keep your head in the game and NEVER put yourself down. No one is perfect, no one expects you to be perfect. Be yourself and love yourself at ALL times.

Hope this helps :-)

^^ This sounds a lot like "Hungry For Change". It's an excellent documentary, I think most people would benefit from watching it.

dstevens19

Good for you for owning your behavior. I've binged befor and had the same self loathing you describe. Not sure I have any magic cures but I empathize.
I have flu d that logging in MFP no matter what helps me stave off a binge. If I have to explain it to my feed friends, I'm less likely to go crazy. Accountability works in your favor.
Work out a bit extra this week and work off that .75 lb you ate. You'll do better next time.

concordancia

How much are you eating on your normal days?

3000 in one day is not enough to put you above maintenance for a week if you normally eat a 500 calorie deficit.

Also, you should probably put the scale away. The only reason anyone weighs every day is pure curiosity. Anyone who has negative reactions to normal fluctuations should weigh at most once a week, once a month is even reasonable.

unapologetically_crystal

this was my feelings today as well. even after being at this for over a year.. even after losing 125ish pounds.. my excuse was that i have a cold so im excessively hungry.. but seriously.. i was totally binging. and i still wanted more even after feeling guilty. best of luck fighting your demons..

MinimalistShoeAddict

Hi MFP people. I've never posted to the message boards before. I'm here now because I want to acknowledge what I've done. I've eaten in secret but I'm hoping that sharing it may deter me from doing it again.

I want to specify that I am not looking for sympathy. I'm not looking for someone to tell me that its okay. Its not. I'm also not looking for negativity. If you have advice on over coming a situation like this please share.

The truth is that this is okay! Of course you cant do this every day but an occasional "binge" wont hurt your long term progress. I met my weight loss goal last fall with a day like this at least once every week or two. I just made up for it on other days and focused on my weekly (instead of daily) calorie and macro nutrient targets.

Don't get too down on yourself. Try to keep days like this to a minimum, but don't get too upset if they occur on occasion.

ltowne

We all have done the very same thing...so you are NOT alone! Good for you for posting and acknowledging the fact that you realize the issue. I really have no words of wisdom except to let you know that you are not out there by yourself. I struggle with the LOVE of the taste of food. It makes me happy. Everything we do is social eating. Sometimes I just can't talk myself out of eating, but when I am successful and I can reason through my urge, I feel GREAT about my choice. Keep that in mind....give yourself big KUDOS when you are successful. Good luck!

ashlinmarie

I binged on a box of munchkins from dunkin donuts just a few days ago...1600 calories in one sitting. It happens.

The important thing is, you need to stop putting so much on what the scale says. I frequently go through periods where the scale won't change for weeks! It is frustrating...but you should take measurements as well because sometimes your body will be changing and the scale won't reflect that. Just remember that you're putting the hard work in and doritos definitely won't get you to where you want to be, but hiking and eating healthy will. The occasional binge won't ruin everything unless you keep doing it.

luckyjuls

To me it all boils down to how strict you are being on your diet.

In my opinion, if you set out to be 100% perfect in this journey and you cut out all the foods you love and exercise and do all the things, it sets you up for A LOT of pressure. And, in my opinion, it sets you up for failure. Because when you come to a week where you don't see the scale move AT ALL, you say to yourself, "I've been working so hard for nothing. I might as well eat whatever I want".

Don't get me wrong. You should strive to do your very best every day, but you should not think of this as the beginning of THE FITTEST LIFESTYLE EVER. A lot of people on here ate terribly before joining, and they think that if they wipe the slate clean and start eating perfectly, the results will be the fat melting off them very quickly. It's just not the case.

Hard work is important, but I would make sure you do not deprive yourself of anything to begin with so you don't feel the need to binge on it when you feel bad. If you have it in your rotation sporadically already, it won't feel like an escape from your problems. It's already part of your solution.

I'm not going to tell you to get back to eating the right way. I know you are going to do that. It seems like you have a lot of focus and can see your faults. But I would recommend that you seriously consider staying on targer 90% of the time and indulging in controlled cheats 10% of the time.

Believe me, I've been in your situation where I've gone weeks and weeks without carbs for the slowest scale progress EVER. And when it was no longer moving, I binged on carbs because it just seemed pointless to me for all that struggle. Now that i've incorporated everything I love, I feel much less desire to binge on "banned" foods.

Just my opinion. Hope it helps.

annepage

I agree with the above. You acknowledge that it is a problem and you took a step towards trying to combat it by posting this. A lot of us go through this, so you are not alone. Remind yourself of the work you've done-the hike, the steps you've taken in eating toward your daily calorie goal. The scale does not always reflect our efforts. Remember what it feels like after you binge-the guilt and anything else and the next time you think about binging, ask yourself if the instant gratification is worth feeling 'bad' afterwards.

This is what I do. People are different, but I hope it helps you in some way. Good luck and hang in there.

ileen327

You are awesome! ( keep saying that because it is true!) God doesn't make junk!!! I only have one suggestion! Stay off the scale! Last week on my weigh day,I got on the scale, and althoughI have been eating nearly perfect and exerciseing 5 times a week,and am morbidly obese ( I hate saying that) the scale said I was up 3! I nearly went on a binge and said was in giving up mode!
But somehing in side me said " Debbie ( my real name) do you want to be unhealthy and eat unhealthy the rest of your life becuase of 3 pds! I talked longer to myself, I also read that your body can fluctuate 5 pds daily for lots of reasons!That helped alot knowing that. I am in this for the long haul! There are going to be ups and downs, but I know as long as I am coming on here and eating as well as I can that scale is going to go my way !!!! Maybe not today , maybe not tomorrow! But it will happen! You keep chugging girl! We can do this !!! Together we can be happy and healthier and screw the scale! It is just a tool ,but sometimes it turns us into someone we don't want to be!
I hope I helped ! Friend me if you like! Hugs and Happiness always! Don't punish yourself! God loves you however you are and he loves you becuase you have problems! Not in spite of them. He( and I ) want you to be happy!
Hugs!

Just_Scott

You're starting your journey. First if it was easy everyone would do it. So, you stumbled on the road, no big deal. Clean yourself off, hit the gym, or go on a walk and move on. We all have days we wish back in terms of nutrition. Writing it down was a very healthy step, oh, and I agree weigh your self sporadically--going a week or two with no weight loss is frustrating but not worth quitting the journey. Good luck.

Energizer06

You failed your first test but it doesn't mean you flunked out of the class. Get your butt back in gear! Next time you have this feeling and you stop yourself the first time. Get you butt walking around the block...then the next one...then the next one. You want Doritos and Reese's ............EARN THEM FIRST! ...PERIOD END OF STORY........EARN THEM...then and only then can you have them. YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT........if you EARN IT FIRST.....Learn to Love it and Live by it! I will not pity you but will help you! There are no excuses in my book....If I can earn it first...so can you! Now...Get to it!

LeahT84

DO NOT WEIGH YOURSELF EVERY DAY! Our bodies fluctuate each day because of eating, how much water we drink, sodium intake, and even waste in our bodies. The body can hold up to 10 pounds of waste. Pick one day of the week and on that day each week, get up in the morning, go to the bathroom, and step on the scale wearing near to nothing. Put in a good effort to work out several times a week, if you need something to satisfy your cravings, eat a small amount of vanilla greek yogurt, or weight watchers chocolate, but stick to serving sizes. Then, when you crave junk food, go for a walk, do jumping jacks or push ups or crunches... anything to take your mind off of it. If you still crave, drink water and eat a small HEALTHY snack. Keep trying, you can do this!!!

2tall4thisworld

I think it is very brave that you posted on this topic. I experienced the same feeling on Easter, when I had planned on having a "reward day", I ended up going waaaaayy overboard hitting the 5000 calorie mark, and it was the day after I found out i had lost a bunch of weight!! Pretty funny. I felt pretty down about myself and all the work I had put into my diet and exercise, but I read an article that said it can take up to 4 healthy exercise and diet days to feel better after a binge day. And it was right for me!!

1 day, 1 weekend, or even 1 month of eating poorly does not mean that losing weight and getting in shape is a hopeless situation.
I agree with the previous posts, about keeping yourself distracted and replacing emotional eating with a healthier more creative activity, that is very important.

Ultimately the motivation has to start and end with YOU. If someone else thinks you should lose weight, or if you think someone else's motivation will become your motivation, it probably won't work in the long term. My advice is to find what will drive you to reach your goals, and what really makes you want to change your way of life. Then you have to commit. If you really feel like now is not the right time to seriously try to lose weight, then I suggest not forcing it. Do what makes you happy. And when YOU DECIDE the time is right, YOU WILL commit to reaching your goals.

It's a decision we make. And the great thing about it, is you have all the control and power to do so or not.

Thanks for posting on this topic. I can definitely relate.
Best of luck!

HappyBayou

Hey there, Miss Rosie.

What you've just described is something we all might experience at some point or other. For some of us, it's happened a lot! It can feel so weird and even scary, because it's as if you're watching yourself as some kind of disembodied out of control thing. It seems to happen after spells when you're especially strict with yourself. Over time, the more strict you are, the more 'hair trigger' you get with that curious alter-ego rebellion.

It's weird, because we learn so much these days about food science and physiology. There's a ton of information out there. Lots of success stories on these boards. But, what seems to be less available information-wise -- probably because it's harder to define -- is the head game involved with making changes.

You may be cruising along successfully for a while. Follow 'blah blah' food plan and 'XYZ' exercise and there you are, Bob's your uncle, you have your ideal body. Anyoyone can follow a program and see results. But, following something that is sustainable for a lifetime requires something more than brute force will power. It means finding that balance between what you want and the **timing** of getting there, and what you're likely to do in a realistic context.

I say all this because you seem up upset about 3000 lousy calories.

I'm not trivializing this. What I mean is, yes; 3000 calories is likely over your BMR /TDEE / WTF. But it's also a simple thing to smoothe out over the course of a week, and you need not feel any real difference in your weekly or monthly progress. UNLESS... you really are feeling that weird out-of-control thing that happens sometimes. (Girl, I've so been there. It's been a good long while, and it seems like it ought to be some forgettable hiccup, but it just messes with your mind. Even years later I shiver and am grateful for having worked past those head games.).

I realize you posted that thing about Doritos and Reese's as an accountability exercise. I'm just thinking you might find more long term satisfaction (both in physical results and peace of spirit) if you give that sweet girl (i.e., you) a break. Studies show people who take deliberate one- to two-week breaks every month or two during long term weight loss are more likely to stick with it and keep it off. There's a *physiological* benefit to your metabolism by interrupting calorie restriction, but there's also that ever-so-undervalued benefit to the psyche-- a *psychological* break. No one thinks they need this. But probably most of us do.

So my vote is: hang in there, maybe read The Four Day Win, and take a breath. And know that beating yourself up for things you've done that you wish you hadn't may not be as effective as rewarding yourself when you nail the little day-to-day successes.

98777

Hey,

I have trouble with binging, too. I suggest doing something that makes you happy and fulfilled while also distracting you whenever you feel the need to emotionally overeat. For example, I have started playing the piano to cope with my problem. Every time I feel stressed and anxious, I go practice piano. Maybe something artistic like writing, painting, etc. would help you. Or you could exercise for endorphins- that helps a lot of people, too. Just try different things until you find something that helps you. Good luck!

bregalad5

Rosie,

If I restrict myself, I set myself up for failure. A couple weeks ago I had a massive chocolate craving. I went next door (I work next to a grocery store), bought a giant slice of cake (which was 3 servings of 350-ish calories each), sat down, and went to town during my lunch. The next day I had lost a pound.

Know what you can do? Instead of a 30 minute walk tomorrow, go on an hour walk, or two 30 minute walks. Do another workout DVD at night or in the morning. You binged. So what? We all do it.

The important thing to remember is your body has no freaking clue what day it is. That's what's awesome! Don't think of your body as something with a 24 hour clock. Think of it more as a week-long clock. Pick a day to weigh yourself and stick with that. The other day I was 220 pounds. Today I was 223. Yesterday I was 221.5***. My body is retaining water because I'm strength training. I also ate too much sodium, so it retained from that (just random examples - I can't really remember what it was from). What you're seeing is normal weight fluctuations. If you weigh yourself in the morning and then mid-afternoon you might see as much as a FIVE POUND difference (yep, I've tried it and seen it!).

Some people even advocate for "cheat days" as a way to trick your body and "re-set" your metabolism. I dunno if it works, and haven't done my own research, but it's a thought.

So, like I said, pick a weigh-in day and stick with that. Don't weigh yourself every day or you might find yourself doing this more often, then shaming yourself, and eventually possibly giving in. Been there also.

Edit: ***I'm weighing every day for a couple weeks to see fluctuations for my own amusement

cleback

Binged on Monday. After a couple night shifts (=no sleep), stressful situations at work, and PMSing, I ate whole pint of froyo and half a box of kasha cookies (but they're healthy, right?), a couple snack size bags of chips, etc. etc. Happy to say I logged all of it.

I have to just reiterate what everyone else has said. Be forgiving to yourself. We're only human. Mistakes happen, and when they do happen, they won't "ruin" this journey. Focus on all the healthy changes you've made-- maybe it's regularly exercising or drinking more water. I realize, like you, these days are not good, but it's not worth quitting all the healthy habits we've started!

Warchortle

The only thing a 5,000 calorie meal did was caused me to get physically sick.

Honestly, **** like this isn't even worth getting upset about.

acracklinrosie

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond. I have read each and every post so far. You all have really great advice and have made me feel a lot better. I've even started planning ways to fix the problems I'm having. I have to be honest though. It was really never about the amount of calories... I've had more calories on purpose. I think it was more about how got to that point and the fact that only reason I allowed it to happen is because no one was around.

I will say that telling the "story" was an awesome release. I felt like crap as I was writing it, once I hit "post" is was like letting go of it. The out pouring of support didn't hurt either I would recommend it to anyone suffering from secret eating or bingeing. You know have make it public, but write it down anyway.

Thanks again everyone!

vanessalillian82

I am so very familiar with your situation, and well done for sharing. I have the tendency to not log things when I'm ashamed of what I've eaten, so I'll usually be gone for a few days or a week, and then I'll pop back up on here again. Which I suppose is the reverse of the accountability that MFP is supposed to bring! I'm going through a cruddy patch right now so a friend suggested that I make my diary private for a while so that I get back into the habit of logging again, and so far it seems to be working well. Once I'm back in control I'll make it public again.

The only peice of advice I can give you in this situation is to keep yourself busy. It looks like being at home watching TV doesn't make you happy and it personally makes me feel quite agitated. And if it's common for you to feel bad when you weigh in then weigh in less often or chuck the scales out and rely on how your clothes fit.

Good luck

gabijadc

It's easy for me to have a super high kcal binge as well. The only things that work for me are:

-instead of spending time eating, I spend time working out or at least researching new workouts or healthy recipes

-not buying the stuff... If I have it, I will eat it, so I don't buy it

-Share! If I have some high kcal food around me in a big amount I share it with everyone who is around me. That way we all have some calories, but not too many.

zoominzozo

First of all- don't panic EVERYBODY goes food crazy every now and again. Anyone who says they don't is a liar, whether it be out of emotional eating (like you) or at a celebration (from just not paying attention to consumption), we ALL do it, we're human.

Be proud that you can admit it. Most people will deny doing any wrong when trying to lose weight. I think you're more afraid that it'll happen again and jeopardise your diet. I have a two pieces of advice and I've successfully reached my diet goal:

1- Don't panic if the scales go up unexpectedly! There are plenty of reasons for this and here are the most common for me- You're a woman and hormones can play havoc with weight loss. No matter how hard I try, at certain times of the month my weight only shifts in one direction-UP! Exercise, although key to weight loss can also create two issues which can confuse matters- muscle mass and the fact I drink LOADS of water meaning most of it is water weight.

2- If you do give in to temptation it's natural to feel guilty- embrace it and move on. If you think you've failed you will continue to do so. No matter how many times I tell myself I won't eat takeaway at the weekend- I do and I go to town about it BUT the key is enjoy it, box it off and then get back on the horse. If you're not enjoying it what's the point in the first place!

I know not everyone is the same so feel free to discard what I've said but if it helps anyone reading this to feel better about themselves I'm happy.