Family views about your lifestyle

Options
bananasandbarbells
bananasandbarbells Posts: 29 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
So I just had an interesting convo with my mom about women lifting-she said that I should not be lifting heavy weights because Im a woman and will never get muscle like a man does. This all started when I was telling her I started working out with my bf lifting weights and how he told me I need to lift heavy and really focus on finishing the workout rather than the weight to get the muscle definition I want. She actually was mad to hear my bf was encouraging me to lift heavy...what does everyone say about this? Have you had family members look down on physical activities you chose to do?
«1

Replies

  • shadow2soul
    shadow2soul Posts: 7,692 Member
    Options
    My mom is pretty weird. I haven't lived with her since May 2009 when she went to Australia. Last year I lost a lot of weight (not all that I needed to lose, but a pretty significant amount) and my mom asked how I did it. When I told her I was working out 4-6 times a week and taking long walks with my husband. She proceeded to tell me I was lying and that I rarely ever do any of that. She then begged me to tell her what supplement I was taking. When I told her I wasn't taking any supplements, she stopped talking to me for awhile. As of right now she only talks to me about once every 2 months. She isn't against lifting like your mom is, but my mom seems to refuse to believe that I am actually taking a healthy approach to weight loss. She told me it would be impossible for me to lose my pregnancy weight, but I did and in about 6 months at that. Now she keeps saying I will never reach my goal weight and that I should just give up.

    My husband on the other hand, pokes fun at my calorie counting(he likes to tease me). He works out with me though and even though he isn't counting calories, he tries to make healthy choices as well. He also, will watch our son for me so I can go out for a jog occasionally.
  • ValerieMomof2
    ValerieMomof2 Posts: 530 Member
    Options
    No thankfully. They think I am crazy and obsessed/addicted (which is true), but they don't question it. So many people just don't understand fitness and the benefits. I have had similar conversations, but luckily not with family or close friends
  • Gwyn1969
    Gwyn1969 Posts: 181 Member
    Options
    So I just had an interesting convo with my mom about women lifting-she said that I should not be lifting heavy weights because Im a woman and will never get muscle like a man does. This all started when I was telling her I started working out with my bf lifting weights and how he told me I need to lift heavy and really focus on finishing the workout rather than the weight to get the muscle definition I want. She actually was mad to hear my bf was encouraging me to lift heavy...what does everyone say about this? Have you had family members look down on physical activities you chose to do?

    Sometimes parents can be very weird. So there are massive numbers of men who are naturally skinny and will never get the muscle mass a more genetically lucky man will get - I guess they should just quit lifting too, right?
  • SnicciFit
    SnicciFit Posts: 967 Member
    Options
    I'm not a mother (but I have one!).

    MOTHERS: please! if you don't have anything positive to say about your children's lifestyle/habits (as it relates to fitness & diet), keep your comments to yourselves!

    ^^^that should maybe be a thread in itself. And on a billboard. And on facebook and the evening news.
  • LisaGNV
    LisaGNV Posts: 159 Member
    Options
    Send her a copy of the book New Rules Of Lifting For Women. http://www.thenewrulesoflifting.com/nrol-for-women Never be afraid to lift heavy. The chances of you getting huge bulky man muscles are very slim.

    My family has a hard time wrapping itself around my diet & running schedule when I'm training for a marathon. They think I'm nuts for the way I plan out my long runs and I get frustrated when they ask me to skip one. "You can skip it just this one time..." except they CONTINUALLY ask me to skip runs. Not happening...
  • HappyElizabeth
    HappyElizabeth Posts: 231 Member
    Options
    When I took up Muay Thai and Krav Maga, my dad said "Why can't you just play golf like everyone else?"
  • casy84
    casy84 Posts: 290 Member
    Options
    My parents also think I'm nuts, so I keep them a bit in the dark :
  • bethlaf
    bethlaf Posts: 954 Member
    Options
    I'm not a mother (but I have one!).

    MOTHERS: please! if you don't have anything positive to say about your children's lifestyle/habits (as it relates to fitness & diet), keep your comments to yourselves!

    ^^^that should maybe be a thread in itself. And on a billboard. And on facebook and the evening news.
    and made into one of those wall quotes you know the taky vinyl ones you see in EVERY decorating show now...
  • mich1902
    mich1902 Posts: 182
    Options
    Most of my family are overweight so they can't comment on what I choose to do to keep in shape. The same applies to me when they order bogus raspberry ketones off of the net then have a calorific takeaway...meh. Everyone always wants to know what you did as if there is some magic. Eat less, move more ta da!
  • nytius
    nytius Posts: 173 Member
    Options
    Wow...I'm going to kiss my mom right now LOL. My mom is all about fitness, she walks daily and cooks healthy foods pretty much daily. She's been the same size and weight my whole life (even through menopause) . When I talked to her about lifting, she said "I think I'll try that". Before I made the decision to get healthy, she was supportive and never negative. She told me she was concerned once but mostly just reinforced how much she loved me and that she was here to help (sitting the kids, walking buddy, etc.) The more I add (running, stair climbing, weights) the broader her smile gets when we talk about fitness. I thought she rocked because of all this but reading some of these stories about moms and family just makes me love her more. You have the right idea, sometimes you just can't listen when someone is trying to discourage you...even a parent. Good Luck!
  • TaurianDoll
    TaurianDoll Posts: 111 Member
    Options
    I think I'm in a very fortunate position. When I was little, my mom got a personal trainer and because I was an only child and my dad worked at night, I had to go to the gym with her. This is before the days when they brought child care into the gym. So I was about 10 following my mom around from machine to machine, tuning in to pay attention every now and again as her trainer taught her how to properly use the equipment and taught her about the different muscle groups. I went to the gym with her until I was about 12. Then around 16, I went to the gym with her to actually work out.

    Now, my mom still goes to the gym 5 days a week at lunch everyday and runs about 6 miles/week. My dad isn't very active but he doesn't put anyone in the family down. My fiance is very active and encourages me to continue working out since I've been that way my whole life. He plays soccer, cricket, and runs. I run and weight train. My mom, fiance and I are running in the Color Run 5k in my city next month.

    So thankfully, we're all very active with the exception of my dad. I can definitely say that seeing my mom work out everyday as part of her daily life routine served as an example to me. She taught me that it's just an ingrained part of your life to work out everyday - even if it's just a walk - GET UP AND MOVE! Please know that your kids are watching.
  • bmstee03
    bmstee03 Posts: 119 Member
    Options
    My family thinks it's cool that I want to be strong. They all also are impressed with my weight loss since they have all struggled with their weight forever.

    They do find my other lifestyle choices weird though - we don't have tv and we cloth diapered our son.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
    Options
    I was very thin as a teenager. My parents came to see me as "forever thin". When I gained a lot of weight after I got married, the first thing my dad said to me after a long time away was "You got chubby." Thanks, dad.

    When I was in my teens, my mom used to nag me all the time about the amount of junk food I ate (I was rail thin). She kept saying "If you keep eating this way, you're going to get fat. And when you hit the age of 25, your metabolism slows down and you won't be able to keep the weight off". (Or something to that affect).

    Finally, out of frustration, I said:

    "Mom, I'll give up junk food when you stop smoking."

    Shut her right up, it did.

    The moral of the story here: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
  • ShellGetsFit
    ShellGetsFit Posts: 604 Member
    Options
    My family has been very supportive for the most part, some seem rather indifferent. Although, I have to say if I told my Mom that I was lifting weights, actually anyone in my family, I would probably get the same response. In the end though, it's all about YOU and what YOU want to do! They'll come around in the end! :smile:
  • Flash4wrd
    Flash4wrd Posts: 35
    Options
    I am pretty much the black sheep, my family thinks everything I do is weird because I am so different. I've often wondered if I am adopted but nope. I am the only one concerned about health, fitness. diet, nutrition and exercise. These are foreign ideas to them. I am already the skinniest of my immediate fam and I need to lose weight. I am trying to shed not just pounds but relearning everything I ever thought about food and exercise.
  • hfester
    hfester Posts: 114 Member
    Options
    My mom taught me about eating healthfully and set a great example for me for exercising and taking care of yourself. Same for my dad. They both support my healthy lifestyle. My husband and I support each other positively only. Negative or "helpful" comments about weight etc are totally off-limits.

    Edited to add: Kudos to all of you continuing despite the haters. I mean, if my parent was trying to passively-aggressively sabotage my progress, it would make being successful a lot harder. You've got my respect.
  • RoseTears143
    RoseTears143 Posts: 1,121 Member
    Options
    I feel like my family assumes I will fail and give up again like all the other times I have tried to get this weight off so I hardly talk about my fitness endeavors. It's disheartening to have such littel faith in me from my family, but it is what it is. Living with thyroid disease isn't easy, even though nobody can see it.

    As for everyone else having trouble with family, take it with a grain of salt. It's your choice to live a healthy lifestlye and to be fit. Don't let their shadow keep you in the dark permanently. :-)
  • Joreanasaurous
    Joreanasaurous Posts: 1,384 Member
    Options
    My mom is super supportive and proud of me. My dad tries to show is love by feeding me junk food and gets his feelings hurt when I turn down pizza. He even offers to allow veggies to be put on it sometimes.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    Options
    My mom doesn't put much emphasis on fitness. She's happy I lost the weight, but she also sees exercise as a silly idea. Of course, she's never had a weight problem - and anytime she did gain a few extra pounds, she just lived off of Pepsi and crackers till they went away.
    She tells me that she's proud of me, but isn't really too interested in hearing about my heavy lifting or running. She flat out told me I was going to hurt myself by lifting heavy. I told her she didn't know what she was talking about.

    My dad and his wife are super supportive. They encourage me to do anything I want and are always telling other family members about my weight loss, running, and weight lifting. It's nice.

    My in-laws are honestly just pissed that I lost weight. They crash diet on the regular and can never keep the weight off. I get snide comments about my weight and whenever someone compliments me, they change the subject. Oh well!
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    Options
    Wow...I'm going to kiss my mom right now LOL. My mom is all about fitness, she walks daily and cooks healthy foods pretty much daily. She's been the same size and weight my whole life (even through menopause) . When I talked to her about lifting, she said "I think I'll try that". Before I made the decision to get healthy, she was supportive and never negative. She told me she was concerned once but mostly just reinforced how much she loved me and that she was here to help (sitting the kids, walking buddy, etc.) The more I add (running, stair climbing, weights) the broader her smile gets when we talk about fitness. I thought she rocked because of all this but reading some of these stories about moms and family just makes me love her more. You have the right idea, sometimes you just can't listen when someone is trying to discourage you...even a parent. Good Luck!

    Definitely go kiss your mom! She sounds awesome :)

Categories