A monologue about Over Eatering (good for a laugh!)

candymara

I wrote this years ago. Thought it would be fun to perform on stage somewhere as a monologue. But I haven't done any theatre in over a decade.... So it sits in a file on my computer.

I figured I would share it with you guys

Over Eaters
by ~Candace Ortiz

Beyond the cluttered waters of the sink basin, across the tiled plains to the base of the Refrigerator Mountains we find an interesting creature of large proportions. The Over Eater is a heavy, cumbersome, animal with a surprising focus and purpose whose routine seems to revolve around eating. Originally of a much smaller European decent, the Over Eater is now found in enormous numbers across North America where food is plentiful and quick to find.

Here is one now. See her rounded form trudging towards the feeding grounds hoping to satisfy a mid morning craving.

The Over Eater, who survives mainly on an empty-calorie diet of processed sugar and fast food, is notorious for indulging beyond hunger. A greedy festival of gluttony is generally the scene at mealtime, where a herd gathers to devour the bounty of their labor. The workday for these strange animals consists of a slow and grueling trek by automobile[1] to their place of work where they then continue to sit for long hours, working diligently to earn food and shelter. Long gone are the days when the species was forced to grow and produce their own food- they have evolved into highly intelligent engineers, creating an intricate system to provide food at arms reach. Physical labor has all but disappeared and the majority of the species can now enjoy a more laid back lifestyle which more conducive to their passion for food.

[1]an invention created in the early 20th century to carry their huge forms so that walking and running would become virtual non-requirements.

(Hope it got a laugh out of you!)

candymara

I hate that we can't edit the topic's title.... I switched it from Over Eaters to Over Eating without erasing the "er"