I'm so downhearted right now...

SweetCrumb

Hi there. I joined MFP a little while ago, I deleted my original account because I wanted to reset my weight loss (I hadn't included any weight loss from before MFP on my original and I wanted to see that total achievement every time I logged in). I'm 175cm tall and I used to weigh 87.5 kg and now I weigh 77.8.

I was doing really well over the Christmas break and my uni holidays, I lost 6 kilos! but now that uni has started up again (since March) I'm constantly sitting at my computer doing homework (Communication design student........ blah). I even went through a couple of weeks where I was working 12 hours a day and worried about the time it would take to have a shower (but of course I would! lol). I find myself with no time to prepare food or go for a run.

I know the solution is to just do it, just go for the run in the morning before everything else and pack the next days food the night before so I can just throw it in a bowl and go but I'm going through a real 'nothing will change' mood. I put three kilos back on since my slim-est and all I can think about is how hard it was to get those three kilos off.

I also went to a wedding the other day and I got the photos back and I nearly cried. I should have been wearing a cow bell around my neck... I feel like other than in my face the weight isn't even noticeably coming off. I also feel like I'll never have the body I want so why try. i feel like I have a 60 year olds body at 26yo.

I feeling so negative but I can't push myself to get out there. I'm not sure what to do...

learnerdriver

I think your first step is forgiving yourself and resetting yourself for a new you.

Those 3 kgs were a bugger, but its unnecessary to do it at the same speed as last time.

You may also find that it's the small changes ie like eating a simple low GI breakfast, getting up every few hours from your desk, that will get you on your way and build into your lifestyle

weesinglane

You WILL get there! Everyone starts somewhere. If you're having trouble getting the motivation to run, either find a friend to run with or try an exercise video right at home! I know Blogilates on YouTube is very popular (and free!). Any activity is good for you, doesn't have to be running.

fly_butterfly

I think your profile picture says it all. :flowerforyou:

Think about taking it one day at a time. Or even one minute at a time if you have too..... baby steps.

Minute 1. Get shoes on.
Minute 2. Feel good about getting shoes on and then do some stretches.
Minute 3. Feel good about stretching and then step outside.
Minute 4. Step outside...feel the sun on your face and walk. Walk faster. ...and faster....
Minute 15.... now run!

...like I said baby steps.

rebamay87

Its easy to fall into that trap of getting down on yourself, as they say.. you're your own worst critic. Break it down into smaller goals. Health wise you shouldn't spend more than an hour in front of the comp in a desk chair. get up every hour or so, go for a 10 min walk. if you are working for 3 hrs, you'll easily do 30 mins.

Also, try and build in some strategies for dealing with the negative talk. When you look at those wedding photos. pick one thing out of your body you are happy with or have seen change in, so rather than "I look like a fat lump." say "I can see the change in my face shape" focus in on that positive point and cling to it like a life line. I say that as someone who is very good at putting herself down. I've had to train myself to speak differently when addressing myself. I try and think "I would never dream of calling anyone I know that.. and I know me.. so stop it" Because once you head down that road it is SO easy to just get sucked under.

Also, try not to be so hard on yourself, You are just starting your journey! and it is scary and a little bit daunting at this times but if you plug away things will happen for you. I'm the same age as you and I'm up to a loss of 32kgs, and I never thought i'd ever get anywhere when I started!

togmo

It can be very tough when you are flat out all day behind a computer.

Many of us work long days behind a desk. I have a desk job but thankfully it is pretty much a 9 to 5 type thing and am constantly reaching for a snack and struggling to get the exercise I need. I have started making healthy meals during the weekends and putting them in bags or containers for the week ahead. I often freeze a few of these bags too if the food freezes well. Means that if I get a bit behind and find that there is nothing in the fridge for me to eat at lunch I can grab a bag food out of the freezer, that coupled with a couple hundred grams of frozen veg seems to sort me out food wise and the snacking has eased and when I need a snack I have a whole lot of weighed out bags of beef jerky which gives me big protein for low cals and seems to satiate me because of the chewing. I have just started going to the gym three days a week too which can be difficult at times. I actually almost bailed on the gym last night but my fellow MFPers kicked my metaphorical butt and helped me get off mine. That is my story and so far so good, I am getting there, maybe 20-25lb left before I am in that healthy band and while the scales aren't changing very quickly I am feeling much healthier.

Another story you might relate to is that of my sister in law was in a similar boat to you in that she works in a bank and works long long days, sometimes even working weekends. She was working all day, getting dinner most nights at a restaurant before heading home and going to bed. She was putting on weight and decided to start doing something about it. It started with her riding to work, that turned in to riding on weekends and then running and swimming on weekends. She joined a triathlon group which was a great social group for her and now she does triathlons and is training for a half marathon. She is much healthier and much happier and still working 12 hour days.

Like your pic says, just carry on doing the right things and the rest will follow...

SweetCrumb

Butterfly, I know, it's completely ironic that my display pic is 'keep calm and don't give up'! And when I reply to forum posts like this I'm like 'this person needs to get back on the horse and see tomorrow as a new day! They can do it!' which is true and I've done it before but this time I just feel tired. I've been exercising for a year now on and off and I feel like I should be further down the line.

Wessingale, My workouts during the holidays actually used to include 45 mins of blogilates 5 days a week hahaha That was like my strength training while I lost a bit more weight to be more comfortable and until I could afford a gym membership.

I feel like a failure because I'm not on the steady course I expected myself to be. Before Uni started I signed up to this fabulous group that were doing a 3 month challenge where you specified how much weight you wanted to lose and the leader of the group worked out a spreadsheet for you to fill in and set challenges to keep your workouts interesting and while I loved it I just stopped doing it.

It's like there's something wrong with me!! Like I can't finish what I've started!! or I take so many steps forward and then take a couple back. Last time, pre-MFP I lost 6 kilos 7.5kg and then put 3 back on. Am I doomed to continue this pattern?? I feel like I am...

I'm glad it's not just me though togmo, I know it's bad for your health etc but you can't cut down your hours sitting on a computer when you work in a digitally oriented field, especially when there are deadlines.

I will. I'll have to set aside a sunday or something and make something that I can freeze chunks of for quick meals when I have no time. It's autumn in australia so I feel a soupathon coming on.

That story about your sister is fantastic. I have a vague hope that I'm scared to put stock in because if it doesn't happen I feel like it will be another thing to go on the 'you can't achieve what you want' pile lol but I'd love to do a marathon one day. At the moment I do interval training and can run only for three minutes at a time but hopefully one day I could get there. I'd also love to learn how to ride a bike again, if I'd ride 40 mins a day two days a week at least just in travel to the station and back for uni which would be a good little nugget of exercise that I wouldn't get otherwise.

Rebamay you're right. I'm having trouble flushing the negativity out though. Especially when the very next photo in the wedding shots was of my partners hourglass shaped size extra small sister! My partner's been saying all the same things to me too, I need to clean out my bad thoughts and try and drown them in the positive ones.

Learnerdriver, that's true. I know once I shift an amount of weight, if I put it back on and act within a month or so I can lose it much faster than originally. That's one good thing about my body! It reacts pretty well to exercise too so I seem to build strength and lose weight faster than someone with the same kind of average paced metabolism as me.

wldrose75

It's like there's something wrong with me!! Like I can't finish what I've started!! or I take so many steps forward and then take a couple back. Last time, pre-MFP I lost 6 kilos 7.5kg and then put 3 back on. Am I doomed to continue this pattern?? I feel like I am...

Yes, Hon, there is something wrong with you. Its called being human. We all have that take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back thing happen to us from time to time. Unfortunately, its part of life. If this thing were easy, everyone would be the size they want to be. You've been under a huge amount of stress it sounds like. College (or Uni where you are) is stressful so don't make it harder on yourself by beating yourself up emotionally. Listen to your partner. (Sounds like you're pretty lucky to have such a supportive one.) I'd recommend that you do the best you can every day to eat healthy and get in what exercise you can (the other poster's baby steps) and then at the end of the day look back over it and focus on what you did right, not what you did wrong. "Today I ate an apple instead of that candy bar," or "Today I went on a 10 min walk on my break from the computer." Focusing on the successes will inspire you to more of them. Focusing on the failures will also. Best of luck to you.