How to Be Patient?

moochachip

Whenever I've wanted something in life, I've worked hard to get it. I put everything I have into it and make it happen. College, projects, work... If I am not happy with life, I change it. If I want to run faster, I push myself. I have control.

I have known the man of topic for 9 months. At first we were co-workers, and then friends. We graduate from college together. At the time, he was dating someone for 7 years. So while he was cute, I knew he was hands off. So I pushed my thoughts of anything but friends away. Life goes on, and I got a job hours away and moved.

About two months ago, he ended it with his girlfriend. They weren't going anywhere; too many differences and she couldn't see a future with him. He began coming to my place, and I showed him around the city. As friends. This continued for several weekends.

Several weekends later I was having a party at my place. Someone dared him to watch a digusting video. His prize? A kiss from me. He did it, surprising me. And it just escalated from there.

After yet another weekend and night together, I couldn't help but ask him what we were. He said I was a great friend, and he didn't want to break that. I hurt on the inside, but let it be. He just broke up with his girlfriend of 7 years. Of course he wants alone time.

However, he continued to push to hang out more during weekends and I, like a heart struck puppy, went along with it. During the night when we were alone, we were together. During the day, we were friends. There have been several times where I have brought up the fact that what we were doing was what people in a relationship would do, but he just says, "I'm not ready for that yet."

I've thought about quitting all of this; all of the hurt after the weekend's over.

At the same time, his friends have told me privately that he talks about me a lot and is interested in me. He sends me texts and we've had hour long conversations over the phone.

It just hurts the morning after we're together we can't continue on. I don't expect a lot from him; just a companion who can laugh along with me and enjoy this adventure called life.

My heart tells me to stick with it. To be patient. How does a girl who's worked for everything she has be patient; to wait on someone and have no power over the outcome?