parents of the groom gifts - off topic

GingerSnark

So without getting into a long backstory, there is growing tension between my mother in law to be & I. With that being said, I'm trying to come up with a Mother of the Groom gift for her from us. The wedding is end of October so there is time.

The father of the groom gift will be even worse to find. Not b/c of tension exactly but I'd say he's more of a practical gift person.

marybethbeech

Crap, I have to buy gifts for my fiance's parents too??!! Our wedding is in August and I haven't even given it any thought. I get hit with some new wedding etiquette expectations every day.

What about a nice album she can put your wedding pictures in?

GingerSnark

See, a "nice" anything beyond $20 is hard for me to figure out. My growing anger is blinding my ability to find a decent gift & want to spend more than $20 on her.

Before I'm strung up for being a bridezilla, let me briefly explain the latest snarky comment that put me over the edge:

"I'm going to kidnap him & keep him from going to the church the day of the wedding, ha ha. You'll be standing there wondering where he is, ha ha ha."

This "joke" has been said 3 times now, the most recent on Mothers Day in front of my mother & her son.

So trying to focus on getting her a gift at all is almost impossible when I'm being blinded by rage.

swilkie1961

My son is getting married next year, I didn't realize that I "should" be expecting a gift from the bride. I thought there are gifts bride and groom need to get for their wedding party, but not for parents.

AbiLuV

This is news to me. I didn't get my inlaws anything, nor did my husband get my parents anything. I thought this day was to celebrate the new couple, not about gifts for everyone else.

Get them a gift card to a nice restaurant. Or something fun that you pick up while you are on your honeymoon.

erica79

I am in the same boat as you! My soon to be mother in law has already given me orders on who I can and can not invite. Even told me that if I invited my fiance's aunt that she would not come. Well the aunt is going to be invited because she was more of a mom to my fiance than his mom was and if she doesn't want to come to her sons wedding that's her choice as far as I am concerned. But as for a gift, I'm going with a album.

GingerSnark

I am in the same boat as you! My soon to be mother in law has already given me orders on who I can and can not invite. Even told me that if I invited my fiance's aunt that she would not come. Well the aunt is going to be invited because she was more of a mom to my fiance than his mom was and if she doesn't want to come to her sons wedding that's her choice as far as I am concerned. But as for a gift, I'm going with a album.

Wow. You win, lol. Telling the bride who she can & cant invite? All the more reason to invite the aunt. Yeah, I agree with everyone who said album. It sounds neutral.

As far as parent gifts...it's something I never knew about till getting into wedding forums online. Etiquette & all that I suppose. I know about bridal party gifts but I guess it's assumed the parents are going to be helping alot so...

lvfunandfit

Give her earrings to wear to the ceremony with an engraved jewelry box. Will seem personal to her, but you don't have to put a lot of thought into it.

You can get the father in law cuff links to wear to the ceremony

Since it's about your wedding day, these gifts are fitting and practical.

karenjoy

etiquette apparently says that you give gifts to the Mothers of the Bride and Groom, usually as a thank you for all their help. My MIL did not offer any help or show any interest in the planning or run up to her eldest sons Wedding, so I didn't feel it necessary to get her a gift as such, I would suggest you give a bouquet of flowers at the reception during the speeches, as this is very normal and then do what we did and present her with a parent album when you get the Wedding photographs, and a copy of the DVD.

paddlemom

My daughter and I were commenting recently on how all these new bridal reality shows etc are really upping the ante for what is "expected' in a wedding.

I have NEVER heard of MIL and FIL gifts!!! If there is a website out there telling you that it is expected, then I would wonder where or how that tradition got started. When I got married, the 'traditional' In laws "gift" was the parent wedding album and I gave them the opportunity to look at the proofs and choose which pictures they wanted - telling them how many the album would hold.

Now that my kids are in their 20's, the last thing I would expect is for them to add looking for a gift for me or my husband to their list of expenses, or duties. IMHO, if you have a special someone or something that you want to acknowledge for going above and beyond, then go for it. but don't fall for the hype of these new wedding traditions that are just about spending money!

You want "official" ettequette, stick with Emily Post! My advice is to have a wonderful day, but mostly make a wonderful memory filled experience out of planning the things that are important to you! The day goes so quickly, and there is so much to take in, it's hard to remember much of it at all! That's why it's important to that make the planning part a joyful memory for you and your fiance