Who farted?

wifealiciousness

I like to fart to see the impression on my cats face. Seriously.
He makes the BEST face.

Like

leigh8679

When I was in college my boyfriend lived on a 24 hr quiet floor in the dorms. One day he was helping me with a paper and he stood up, bent over at the waist, and let it rip. It was so loud they heard it on the other side of the dorms! People actually came by to congratulate him on it! He also got fined $20 for a noise violation. That was the day what he calls "the rectal cannon" was born.

2FatToRun

When I was in college my boyfriend lived on a 24 hr quiet floor in the dorms. One day he was helping me with a paper and he stood up, bent over at the waist, and let it rip. It was so loud they heard it on the other side of the dorms! People actually came by to congratulate him on it! He also got fined $20 for a noise violation. That was the day what he calls "the rectal cannon" was born.

:laugh: rectal cannon :laugh:

ladymiseryali

My cats used to rip some rank ones when we brought them home for the first time. It was the crappy dry food they were fed at the rescue we adopted them from. Once we switched the food up, their gas went away. But man, did they rip some terrible ones!

:laugh: damn dry food.....broccoli is my dry food and I pull major RANK when I eat it :laugh:

Broccoli is definitely my gassy trigger. lol

TeachTheGirl

Farts are funny. Period. Anyone who says they're not is lying.

My daughter (16 months) has recently started laughing every time she farts.

My favorite story is the time my sister and I were sitting on our hardwood bedroom floor playing a board game. She let one rip. It was one of those long, bouncy, vibrating farts. From downstairs, you could hear my mother remark to my father 'Ooh, 'ark at them fireworks!'

silvergurl518

thanks for the giggles i'll let out a few SBDs at work but when i get home, i unleash the beast.

:blushing:

2FatToRun

the_journeyman

I've crop dusted the 6th grade hall. During class change.

JM

_crafty_

Time2LoseWeightNOW

~~giggles~~ ...my mom lives around Milton, I'll know who to look for if it happens while I'm shopping down there.... ; )

You name the date and the Walmart I will load up on broccoli the day before :laugh:

Haa...Too cute...it's a date...~`` giggles~~ I'll definitely let you know....I may have some ammunition of my own.

Laurayinz

I was 14 and at cheer practice. We were sitting around, discussing something. I tried SO HARD to hold it in. It was painful. But I couldn't hold it and a little one escaped, audibly. Imagine about 15 other 14-15 year old girls bursting into fits of squeals and laughter, which made me start to giggle, which made me lose ALL control of the remaining gas.

More squeals. More farts. This went on for about a minute. The longest.minute.of.my.life.

It seriously made its way into our end of year "yearbook" of sorts, for the cheer squad. The "Remember Whens" is the section it was called. Lots of lovely memories from our year of cheering together listed on the page. Until I saw "Remember when...Carol farted"

That was over 20 years ago, and I still squirm at the awful memory. I share with you today. You're welcome. :blushing:

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Ashwee87

When I was in college my boyfriend lived on a 24 hr quiet floor in the dorms. One day he was helping me with a paper and he stood up, bent over at the waist, and let it rip. It was so loud they heard it on the other side of the dorms! People actually came by to congratulate him on it! He also got fined $20 for a noise violation. That was the day what he calls "the rectal cannon" was born.

OMG...I have tears! :laugh:

So_Much_Fab

Many years ago I visited a friend in San Francisco and planned on taking a red-eye flight home. Before being dropped off at the airport, we stopped for some really authentic Thai food. Well, I guess it didn't sit too well with me, because by the time I *got* to the airport the emissions had started - silent but deadlies. Really deadly.

Needless to say, I pretty much let loose the entire 4+ hour flight home...really had no choice as I couldn't hold them in. I felt pretty bad for those seated around me.

slim_photographer

OPTIMIST: The guy with diarrhea chancing a fart

jporter2004

:laugh: :laugh: :sad: :sad: This thread is awesome!! :laugh: :laugh:

Igotdisbish

My best was pretty recent. I was driving my 14 year old son and his gf to drop her off at home and I had a monster brewing. Once I realized I couldn't make til we dropped her I let that bad boy rip. So then I locked the windows and turned the fan on high. Was a clam bake from hell! They just about peed themselves laughing.

Timshel_

Nothing funnier than a fart in a space suit.

Ashwee87

tinak33

The best story i have was a few years ago when my brother bought a fart machine. For some reason we decided to put the noise part in his pants and have him walk the streets ahead of us while e decide who he was gonna 'fart' around. (Giggling about this as I type Some of the best ones:

1) [good] We were walking through the store where we bought the machine and my bro walked through a group of older ladies. Dad pushed the button and it let out a juicy one. A few snickered. Most looked appailed

2) [better] Walking down the street and the broster walks by these really cute girls.. As he was walking up to them he was looking back pleading with his eyes for us not to push the button. Which made us do it. He "let out" a huge drawn out fart, he then grabbed his butt and high tailed it into the public bathrooms a few feet away. Girls were laughing hysterically.

3) [best] We were walking down the opposite side of the street where two seriously burly biker type guys were sitting on a bench chatting. My brother quite obviously stood to the right of the bench.. "let one rip" and walk away As the rest of my family passed (grams, grams, ma, pa and me.. We heard them say.. " Did that seriously just happen... The little s%&* just bombed us... What the heck" They looked really pissed and aeriously disgusted so we had to stop and let them know what really happened. We were all laughing hysterically as we walked away leaving the guys in tears and with side splits from laughing so hard. Was a great day.

Oh a smelly note.. My bf loves to let off some nasty ones AS SOON as we wake up. I am gagging as we get dressed.

Fat machine just got added to my Christmas List...... hahahahaha

Ashwee87

My best was pretty recent. I was driving my 14 year old son and his gf to drop her off at home and I had a monster brewing. Once I realized I couldn't make til we dropped her I let that bad boy rip. So then I locked the windows and turned the fan on high. Was a clam bake from hell! They just about peed themselves laughing.

You are an AWESOME dad. Just sayin. xD

2FatToRun

OMG i need one of these!!!!! :laugh:

MercenaryNoetic26

Did someone say FART? Oh, hoorayyyyyy! My other favorite topic besides poop.

At my old job if someone farted in (the) stall next to me, I'd start laughing uncontrollably. They wouldn't exit the stall or bathroom until everybody walked out... I would always lurk around to see who it was... then I would laugh some more.. teeheee!!!!

capnrus789

It's all $hits and giggles until someone giggles and $hits.

lilRicki

Yes I am 36 and I still giggle when I talk about farts. Same when I hear them. So if you dont mind my belly is full and I could use a good laugh. What's you funniest fart stories? No holds barred PLZ and TY :laugh:

I will start.............

I love to do a silent but deadly walk by in the grocery store and walk up 2-3 rows lol Than back track and go in circles to see how long it lingers and who blames who for the dirty deed. IK IK shame on me

It's called crop dusting

Igotdisbish

Did someone say FART? Oh, hoorayyyyyy! My other favorite topic besides poop.

At my old job if someone farted in (the) stall next to me, I'd start laughing uncontrollably. They wouldn't exit the stall or bathroom until everybody walked out... I would always lurk around to see who it was... then I would laugh some more.. teeheee!!!!

ABSOLUTELY and try to see their shoes.

MercenaryNoetic26

Yes I am 36 and I still giggle when I talk about farts. Same when I hear them. So if you dont mind my belly is full and I could use a good laugh. What's you funniest fart stories? No holds barred PLZ and TY :laugh:

I will start.............

I love to do a silent but deadly walk by in the grocery store and walk up 2-3 rows lol Than back track and go in circles to see how long it lingers and who blames who for the dirty deed. IK IK shame on me

It's called crop dusting

I do that with my kid at stores like Target and she'll look at me and want to put me on blast... She's 10 and this embarrasses the **** out of her. She'll whisper, "Keep walking! Oh, my, oh, my, oh, my GAWD!!!!" The whole time I'm laughing hysterically and other shoppers are like, "WTF?!?" I also start circling isles so's I'm not a suspect.

HealthyBodySickMind

Not necessarily a fart story, but the topic actually reminded me of a song. There is this band called The Two Man Gentlemen Band who have a song called "Pool Party." After going to a few of their shows, my friend mentioned that his favorite song of theirs was the “Who Farted” song. Every time they sang the lyric, “Pool Party,” he thought they were saying “Who Farted.” Now every time I hear that song, I hear “who farted” instead.

Here’s the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7hM2g7osaE

Brianna72994

Best thread ever :drinker:

MercenaryNoetic26

Did someone say FART? Oh, hoorayyyyyy! My other favorite topic besides poop.

At my old job if someone farted in (the) stall next to me, I'd start laughing uncontrollably. They wouldn't exit the stall or bathroom until everybody walked out... I would always lurk around to see who it was... then I would laugh some more.. teeheee!!!!

ABSOLUTELY and try to see their shoes.

Oh, hells yeah! ALWAYS duck down and look at their shoes!!!! That's why if you're smart, and it's you, you put your legs up!!!! Bahahaha!!!

KristyTonn

Not necessarily a fart story, but the topic actually reminded me of a song. There is this band called The Two Man Gentlemen Band who have a song called "Pool Party." After going to a few of their shows, my friend mentioned that his favorite song of theirs was the “Who Farted” song. Every time they sang the lyric, “Pool Party,” he thought they were saying “Who Farted.” Now every time I hear that song, I hear “who farted” instead.

Here’s the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7hM2g7osaE

And Destiny's Child "Independent Woman".....Shoes on my feet, I FARTED......The clothes I'm wearing..I FARTED.....you may never hear "I bought it" again!