How do you get willpower? What motivates you?

I have struggled with food addiction for most of my life. It started when I was a young teen and my brother died. I used food for comfort. My weight has been up and down over the years. I lost 60 lbs my senior year of high school and kept it off for many years. I lost about 25 lbs before my wedding and kept it off for a few years. Then, I started having babies. My combined weight gain over three pregnancies is 80 lbs.

I am heavier than I have ever been, but I can't stop eating. I am in the vicious cycle of thinking I've hit rock bottom, getting rid of all of the junk in the house, tracking for a few days....and then I get stressed and go to the store to buy more comfort food and I eat it. Or the weekend comes and we get pizza, or go out, or my husband goes out to pick up ice cream...I just can't say no. Then I get down on myself, and start the cycle all over again.

If you've been in the same boat, and are a true food addict who has leaned on food for comfort, stress relief etc...please help me figure out a way to overcome this. I don't have the same determination that I had the last times that I lost significant amounts of weight. I need to do this for my health. I want to be around to grow old with my husband and see my grandkids one day. Thanks in advance!

Replies

  • JoB998
    JoB998 Posts: 14 Member
    Hi there,

    I understand your struggle it is a vicious circle. Even though I knew what I was eating was unheathy I couldn't say no (and also didn't want to) any reason to eat, hunger, depression, to celebrate and for comfort. This is the 1st time I have ever been able to lose any amount of weight and the longest I have tried for and I have no plans for giving up. It is tough but it does get easier. I have learnt that it is okay to not have the food I want every single meal time, I try and save a good amount of calories for dinner time to eat with the family and eat healthier the rest of the day to do so.

    My motivation is to get fitter, I had no energy before and that has already improved greatly. Also to be a better example for my son and finally enjoy clothes shopping again.
    Being apart of MFP has really helped me, it is so much easier having friends going through the same as you and to spur you on.

    Good luck with the lose, feel free to add me and we can help each other
  • molina76853
    molina76853 Posts: 143
    I too struggled with food addiction due to an abusive marriage. I learned that I was indeed in control of the decisions I made when eating. I prayed about it and everytime I reached out to get food, I asked myself if I was really hungry or just eating to eat. That question and with prayer has really helped. MFP has been a great accountable tool that has helped me realize how many calories I was consuming and what were the bad calories and good calories. It takes time, commitment, prayer and exercise. Drink a lot of water.
  • clewliss
    clewliss Posts: 640 Member
    oh boy, yes I can relate- I think I'm on the right track now and I will tell you what has been working for me!

    1) Cokes- I love them!! I had tried diet drinks, water, juice, and tea..and I found that I wasn't happy with those because I really wanted a coke and wasn't allowing myself to have one. So for me, that was a negative

    2) Pizza- I love it!! When the family would go out for pizza, I would have a salad which wasn't bad, but I sat there and watched everyone eat pizza while I s l o w l y ate my salad... this, for me, was another negative. (btw, my husband and children are very athletic, so having pizza is something the whole family could eat and enjoy, so I would never deprive them of that and I never let them know how hard it was for me to resist it, lol

    3) Desserts- I love it all!! There will always be baby showers (cake), wedding showers (cake) church socials (cake) birthday parties (cake) and Christmas ( lots of cakes), so do I reallly want to say no to cake for the rest of my life in this new "lifestyle" ? I won't! I know myself and I know that I'm going to eat my cake and frosting, too! So here's another negative!

    The point is, I had too many negatives in my "diet" and I failed at it everytime!

    Now, I have one 90 calorie coke each day (I'm not deprived), when we go out for pizza, I still have my salad and one piece of cheese (lowest calorie) and one breadstick and I'm perfectly content! I'm amazed that one piece can satisfy my craving. And when I'm offered cake, I just cut the piece in half and enjoy the same as if I had 3 peices!

    It's the little changes for me that is working right now and even though I've only lost 8 lbs, that's 8 that I was wishing for 2 months ago! I have lost steadily, maybe only .8 or .4 or 1.5lbs a week, but at least I'm losing and it's a change that I am completely happy with! If I stop losing, I'll make changes and cross that bridge when it gets here!

    I hope this helps, I know it can be frustrating, but when you start losing that in itself will motivate you to keep going! Good luck!!
  • What is the root of your problem? this is the first step... you know what it feels like to not be so overweight and it feels good I know myself...I have gained 80 lbs as well and this is after 3 kids. I have been very unhappy for a long time now I am taking charge again. This is the second year I have a vacation in June and I am loosing weight for it this time. I want to feel good when I go and not say well another year and here I am still fat. I have been doing this for way to long and struggling I have made many changes in my life for me. Food addiction is so hard I love all the greasy fried foods also a fast food junkie I love cakey goodness all of it. Also I work at Olive Garden. I have completely changed all my eating habits if I eat fast food I get a salad. I pack a lunch everyday for work. The food in my house is all healthy. Thankfully my kids love fruits and veggies so this is not an issue for me. If I have errands to run I pack food. I always keep healthy things on me. I find when I let myself get super hungry I make the bad choices. If im feeling cakey goodness I allow it but I do not over indulge. I still cheat here and there but I am down 17 pounds so far and I am sticking to it. Good luck to you and I hope this helps.
  • Adah_m
    Adah_m Posts: 216 Member
    Before pics!!! When I look at them, I remember I don't want to go back to my old life!!!

    and my hubby, he's the hotness. He makes me want to be the hotness too.
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    doesn't exist
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
    I have struggled with food addiction for most of my life. It started when I was a young teen and my brother died. I used food for comfort. My weight has been up and down over the years. I lost 60 lbs my senior year of high school and kept it off for many years. I lost about 25 lbs before my wedding and kept it off for a few years. Then, I started having babies. My combined weight gain over three pregnancies is 80 lbs.

    I am heavier than I have ever been, but I can't stop eating. I am in the vicious cycle of thinking I've hit rock bottom, getting rid of all of the junk in the house, tracking for a few days....and then I get stressed and go to the store to buy more comfort food and I eat it. Or the weekend comes and we get pizza, or go out, or my husband goes out to pick up ice cream...I just can't say no. Then I get down on myself, and start the cycle all over again.

    If you've been in the same boat, and are a true food addict who has leaned on food for comfort, stress relief etc...please help me figure out a way to overcome this. I don't have the same determination that I had the last times that I lost significant amounts of weight. I need to do this for my health. I want to be around to grow old with my husband and see my grandkids one day. Thanks in advance!

    Can you talk to your husband and ask him to help you? Instead of buying pizza and ice cream, buy fresh fruit... or go for a walk as a family. Would he help you make a plan for healthier choices? I'm a widow, so nobody at home is tempting me, but my downfall is my office. So much junk food. I told people to stop putting it on my desk and in my area.
  • lizlkbg
    lizlkbg Posts: 566
    You guys.
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
    Well...cutting nearly 2 minutes off my 5K time in under a month sure is motivating.
  • olDave
    olDave Posts: 557 Member
    Honestly, I have no idea what motivates me.

    There are lots of reasons to eat right and exercise. However, those reasons do not motivate me. It sounds like they don't motivate you either.

    I have a theory though. There is something in a person's psyche that just "clicks" one day and they decide to do whatever it is they haven't been able to do before. I'm no psychologist. My theory just comes from personal experience and talking with others.

    I wish you the best.
  • ljplunkett
    ljplunkett Posts: 9 Member
    oh boy, yes I can relate- I think I'm on the right track now and I will tell you what has been working for me!

    1) Cokes- I love them!! I had tried diet drinks, water, juice, and tea..and I found that I wasn't happy with those because I really wanted a coke and wasn't allowing myself to have one. So for me, that was a negative

    2) Pizza- I love it!! When the family would go out for pizza, I would have a salad which wasn't bad, but I sat there and watched everyone eat pizza while I s l o w l y ate my salad... this, for me, was another negative. (btw, my husband and children are very athletic, so having pizza is something the whole family could eat and enjoy, so I would never deprive them of that and I never let them know how hard it was for me to resist it, lol

    3) Desserts- I love it all!! There will always be baby showers (cake), wedding showers (cake) church socials (cake) birthday parties (cake) and Christmas ( lots of cakes), so do I reallly want to say no to cake for the rest of my life in this new "lifestyle" ? I won't! I know myself and I know that I'm going to eat my cake and frosting, too! So here's another negative!

    The point is, I had too many negatives in my "diet" and I failed at it everytime!

    Now, I have one 90 calorie coke each day (I'm not deprived), when we go out for pizza, I still have my salad and one piece of cheese (lowest calorie) and one breadstick and I'm perfectly content! I'm amazed that one piece can satisfy my craving. And when I'm offered cake, I just cut the piece in half and enjoy the same as if I had 3 peices!

    It's the little changes for me that is working right now and even though I've only lost 8 lbs, that's 8 that I was wishing for 2 months ago! I have lost steadily, maybe only .8 or .4 or 1.5lbs a week, but at least I'm losing and it's a change that I am completely happy with! If I stop losing, I'll make changes and cross that bridge when it gets here!

    I hope this helps, I know it can be frustrating, but when you start losing that in itself will motivate you to keep going! Good luck!!
  • ljplunkett
    ljplunkett Posts: 9 Member
    I cannot tell you how much I LOVE this reply!!! My #1 would be Diet Dr. Pepper and yes - I know how horrible they are supposed to be for you, but I've cut down to just a few a week and I'm not going to beat myself up about it! My #2 would be pizza/mexican food. I have also done what you've done - smaller portions, more salad/veggies and I'm happy to count the calories and go on with it! And #3 is my all-time favorite - parties, showers, celebrations with CAKE!!!!! If I have multiple celebrations in a week, I just have maybe a tiny piece each time and count the calories and go on. However, I DO NOT waste my calories on cake that has icing I don't like or dry cake! HA!

    I think that finding an exercise that you enjoy and can succeed at is HUGE motivation! I look forward to my Zumba class, or walking 4mph or going fast on my Elliptical for a certain calorie burn and that's very motivating to me!

    Celebrate even the smallest of victories, and that's not always the number on the scale - it's really a lot more than that and I wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure that out!
  • bill323
    bill323 Posts: 100
    I started dieting because I no longer felt comfortable in my own skin. I maintain motivation by looking at my ever shrinking measurement log.

    I have old pictures of me when I was far more fit on Facebook and when more recent acquaintances see them they are floored because they only know me as a fat guy. I have gotten the "man you looked real good back then" comment a few times and that is motivation enough.
  • wannabtight
    wannabtight Posts: 187 Member
    Bump
  • Emilie04444
    Emilie04444 Posts: 151 Member
    I read in Fitness magazine recently that willpower is finite and you can't "get it." You start the day with a certain amount depending, and everything you do throughout the day takes away from it. Reading that has put a lot into perspective. I can't have junk in my house because at the end of a long day, screw veggies give me cake and ice cream. So I do that. I also automate my meals per Dr Oz. I eat the same breakfast, make my lunch on Sunday, and I change up dinner. This takes the thought out of it. On days that I have to think, I think my way to the pizzeria.

    I spend a large part of my day, in customer service, working w/ other offices, it's draining, so I take all thought out of my weight loss plan during the week. My only issue is TTOTM when I seem to convince myself that I don't have a food addiction and can buy cake and ice cream and eat it a serving at a time NEVER happens and it usually last 2 days.

    I'm not sure what is motivating me, except to not have to buy large clothes again when I just gave away large ones.

    Good luck!
  • pbandz
    pbandz Posts: 128 Member
    I'm motivated by progress so for the longest time I could not stick to a diet but I finally stuck to it long enough to see some progress and it really just hit me in the face

    I've only lost a few pounds but my overall goal was 10 pounds. I feel healthier and better with myself already

    just imagine how much better your life will be

    PLUS I love food too and once I stuck to a strict diet for a few weeks, after that i can't even eat as much as I used to, which helps because I really want to pig out sometimes