Not wanting to have sexual intercourse

chunkydunk714
chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
in Motivation and Support
I dont know whats wrong with me...

Background: Depression (stopped taking pills due to weight gain) so its possible im still depressed....seeing my ex-boyfriend but not officially "together"; just tryin to work things out, the thought of sleeping with him or anyone makes my stomach turn. I have absolute no desire for it. WTF? This isnt healthy for any relationship or myself for that matter.

Has anyone battling with depression every felt this way before? Or maybe those who are insecure as well? Im thinking it might be both.
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Replies

  • Lalasharni
    Lalasharni Posts: 353 Member
    Which antidepressants were you taking? You should never stop suddenly, especially with SRIs (Seratonin re-uptake inhibitors). This is probably the reaon you feel so anti-sex. Go back to your medic and explain your problems - if you are clinically depressed, you need treatment - its not in your head, its in your brain - i.e. a chemical imbalance and you sound as though you are getting backwash from your suddenly stopping your medication.
    So, go see your doctor. Get some counselling for your depression and start learning to love yourself. When you have love for your own body, then loving someone else's will come naturally.
    I know this is true, because I've been there too. I still take AD's because my life up until a few years back was a heap of S**T but not its wonderful. My brain however, is still healing and I need those meds.
    Get help. Don't suffer in silence.
    Good luck.
  • phoximom
    phoximom Posts: 365 Member
    increase your vitamin c. you don't want to let the depression go. if you choose to come off prescribed medications depression high doses of vitamin c have been proven to help combat depressive symptoms. secondly maybe he's your "ex" boyfriend for a reason...good luck to you doll. xo
  • btoeps74
    btoeps74 Posts: 167 Member
    Have you spoken with a therapist? Would probably get a better diagnosis that way via on here. Depression isn't something to take lightly.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    This sounds like marriage to me.
  • Shelby1582
    Shelby1582 Posts: 191 Member
    Is it possible it's a side effect of the medicine you were on? Which one was it? My husband has been on several different anti-depressants and it did affect his desire and performance. Depression also causes it so even if you were taking the medicine it could still be the cause. I felt insecure as a result of him not "wanting me" even though it was the medicine and not me. Anyhow, after so long not doing it both of us got lazy and stopped making the effort. Don't let that happen to you! Just go with the flow and when the mood is right and the two of you are together and close to that situation you may realize that you really really want it and it will happen and be awesome.
    Sometimes you have to just do it and get past the initial blah... then it's like "what the hell was I thinking!!!!"
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    I was prescribed 20mg of prozac back in September and went off of it in Feb.... my doctor didnt wean me off of it, he said because it was such a low dosage I could stop cold turkey. At first I was fine but just recently I started feeling a bit out of whack so I called and want to be put on another medication. I was in denial for the longest time not wanting to take meds thinking it was the "easy way out" but I've come to terms the chemicals in my brain aren't doing what they're doing so I need to do what makes ME better. Meds or not...

    anyhoo......that being said. I do go to group therapy 1x a week so that does help :)

    But, even if i think about it in my head using another person as my victim (ha, victim)....it still doesnt seem appealing. But I think its the whole depression thing huh? I have an appointment with the Dr. on the 24th so hopefully he can give me something that works this time. I hate the whole "finding what works" process. Grrr....

    thanks everyone for your replies. :)
  • endlesswonderr
    endlesswonderr Posts: 91 Member
    I've been suffering from depression for several years, and I have had this exact problem as well. I never really had a sexual drive, and even when I was with the people I've dated I had no desire to sleep with them. and just like you, the thought sometimes even put me off. :/ I've just started medication (cipralex) a couple of days ago, and I'm hoping that it will help with this. However, I've heard a a low sex drive is prevalent with people who suffer from depression AND people who take the medication. So I'm not sure if the medication would help or simply make it worse.
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
    Just look at my picture and I bet youll change your mind
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    I don't know about depression vs medication, but I do wish people would just keep their hands (etc) to themselves! I promise that I will.
  • mattashbrock
    mattashbrock Posts: 38
    increase your vitamin c. you don't want to let the depression go. if you choose to come off prescribed medications depression high doses of vitamin c have been proven to help combat depressive symptoms. secondly maybe he's your "ex" boyfriend for a reason...good luck to you doll. xo

    Double blind, placebo controlled studies in peer reviewed journals that back up this claim? Please do not follow this advice. It is well intentioned however false. Please see a medical professional.
  • carolemorden9
    carolemorden9 Posts: 284 Member
    I've battled depression for years as well. I'm currently on Welbutrin. I don't think of it as the easy way out. I think of it as making sure I don't chop off anyone's head. My mood swings off the medication are horrible. Hope you get the help you need.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    Wellbutrin made me asexual. It was awful.
    Please do not take my experience as medical advice. I am not a doctor. But I switched from anti-depressants to 5-HTP. It doesn't work for everyone but holy cow was it effective for me as a serotonin booster. My brother had the same positive experience I did as well. Depression has serious roots in my family. We both have since managed with nothing at all. Consider talking to your doctor about it.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Would you say that in general you tend to be a more asexual person or is this lack of desire something new? Would libidinous thoughts normally be in your head or has the renewal of this relationship pushed it to the fore front.

    Continue with your therapy. Talk to you doctor about your lack of desire, and take the sexual pressure off yourself. Be a little selfish spend some "quality time" with yourself alone and reconnect or connect with that vixen without the added pressure that a partner can put onto you.
  • annwyatt69
    annwyatt69 Posts: 727 Member
    WHY DO YOU HAVE TO POST THIS ON MY FITNESS PAL? THIS IS CERTAINLY NOT THE PLACE FOR IT.
  • ktdidit78
    ktdidit78 Posts: 29 Member
    increase your vitamin c. you don't want to let the depression go. if you choose to come off prescribed medications depression high doses of vitamin c have been proven to help combat depressive symptoms. secondly maybe he's your "ex" boyfriend for a reason...good luck to you doll. xo

    Double blind, placebo controlled studies in peer reviewed journals that back up this claim? Please do not follow this advice. It is well intentioned however false. Please see a medical professional.

    Ditto, definitely go with trying a new medication. Sometimes it can take months or years to find the right medication or combination of medications to help with your depression.

    Vitamin D can *sometimes* help *some people* with SAD (seasonal affective disorder) but it doesn't do anything for real depression. Been there.
  • deanjou59
    deanjou59 Posts: 737 Member
    Have you spoken with a therapist? Would probably get a better diagnosis that way via on here. Depression isn't something to take lightly.

    ^^This. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.
  • ellenasl210
    ellenasl210 Posts: 95 Member
    Definitely see a psychiatrist, not a normal medical doctor. There are sooo many types of therapies and medications that can help. I was thought to have depression for years, and took antidepressants. But was later correctly diagnoses with PMDD. Best of luck to you(:
  • iamluce
    iamluce Posts: 64 Member
    Not having intercourse is not a bad thing, though. There is such thing as being asexual, and it's a very valid and very common sexuality. I'm not saying it's your case, I'm just saying it's possible to have a healthy relationship with a person without having sex.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    WHY DO YOU HAVE TO POST THIS ON MY FITNESS PAL? THIS IS CERTAINLY NOT THE PLACE FOR IT.

    Why did you open this thread then? :angry:
  • btoeps74
    btoeps74 Posts: 167 Member
    WHY DO YOU HAVE TO POST THIS ON MY FITNESS PAL? THIS IS CERTAINLY NOT THE PLACE FOR IT.

    Why did you open this thread then? :angry:

    Ed Zackley!!
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
    WHY DO YOU HAVE TO POST THIS ON MY FITNESS PAL? THIS IS CERTAINLY NOT THE PLACE FOR IT.

    Why are you yelling? :laugh:

    I see a lot of posts on MFP that are flirtatious, and many others that push the envelope. :blushing: This one doesn't bother me in the least. Human sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. It is normal. And I feel that our emotional well being has a lot to do with our physical well being. The poster is trying to take care of herself, emotionally & physically. Her sexual well being is important and so far, she is getting helpful or constructive responses.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    well... sex doesnt make my stomach turn, however... to me... its like taking out a the trash... a chore, a chore that has got to be done every now and then... i have no other input :)
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    This sounds like marriage to me.

    You are married to the wrong person.

    OP: please talk about this with your doctor. It could be depression related, diet, hormonal imbalance, any number of things.

    Or your ex is a douche and just simply doesn't turn your crank.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    WHY DO YOU HAVE TO POST THIS ON MY FITNESS PAL? THIS IS CERTAINLY NOT THE PLACE FOR IT.

    because, aside from depression causes, weight loss can also cause a hormone imbalance that would cause these symptoms related to sexual dysfunction. the op is simply asking if anyone else has experienced this, and if so, how they handled it. if you didnt like the topic, why did you open it???
  • under1star
    under1star Posts: 8
    Yes some antidepressants interfere with weight gain and depression Dr Oz had a show a few wks back on 5 HTP which you can purchase them at Gnc. Please do the research....http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/best-natural-anti-depressants?page=4#copy
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    yes. I have. Although, I noticed feeling the way you do, was usually because the person I was with was being a jerk. I find it impossible to get in the mood to roll around naked with a man who makes me feel like crap.
  • rachel4304
    rachel4304 Posts: 115 Member
    This is purely anecdotal from my experience.

    I suffered from depression and low sex drive. As I began to lose weight, I also upped my fat intake (boo low-fat) and I noticed a substantial improvement in my depressive symptoms and in turn an increase in my sex drive.

    Might be something to look into. I didn't look at your diary before I posted.
  • moriaht
    moriaht Posts: 251 Member
    The less often I have sex, the less I want it (oddly enough). My advice, start spending a little uuhh...quality time with yourself, DAILY. That's how I boost my drive!
  • Crucifry
    Crucifry Posts: 30 Member
    WHY DO YOU HAVE TO POST THIS ON MY FITNESS PAL? THIS IS CERTAINLY NOT THE PLACE FOR IT.

    Why are you yelling? :laugh:

    I see a lot of posts on MFP that are flirtatious, and many others that push the envelope. :blushing: This one doesn't bother me in the least. Human sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. It is normal. And I feel that our emotional well being has a lot to do with our physical well being. The poster is trying to take care of herself, emotionally & physically. Her sexual well being is important and so far, she is getting helpful or constructive responses.

    ^THIS^...AND...it's posted under the "SUPPORT" banner. Clearly something you missed. (Yes, that was YELLING.)
  • mromnek
    mromnek Posts: 325
    WHY DO YOU HAVE TO POST THIS ON MY FITNESS PAL? THIS IS CERTAINLY NOT THE PLACE FOR IT.

    Actually, MFP is about all things health and fitness related. This thread is discussing mental and sexual health, and therefore falls within the purview of MFP.

    Thus far, in this thread, I have not seen anything that is explicit, vulgar, or inappropriate. Every thread has a topic. The topic to this thread pretty much established the content matter.

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