Dear Prudie

dym123

I read this question in the Dear Prudie online chat and wondered what my fellow MFPers thought of this. At first I was ready to think that the letter writer is just bitter that her co-worker lost weight while she is unable (or unwilling) to. I also love to bake and bring in goodies to the office, but I do not force my yummy goodness on anyone. I also never offered my "big girl" clothes to anyone, though I got the feeling that on of my co-workers would have loved it if I offered them to her and if she had asked I would have given them to her. So what do you guys think? Bitter fat chick or passive-aggressive skinny chick?


Q. Thanks for the "Big Girl" Clothes... but No Thanks!: I have a co-worker that recently lost about 50 pounds. I am very happy for her, and I applaud her efforts and results. Earlier this week she offered up some of her "big girl" clothes to me. I was taken aback at first, and then was gracious and just said “OK.” She said she had shorts that were too big for her now, but she thought I would like them. This is a working relationship; we talk about some personal family stuff, but we have no friendship outside of the office. This woman can also be a bit passive-aggressive regarding her weight loss, in that she brings food in and makes up plates for the rest us to eat. The food she brings in is hardly low-fat, so she enjoys trying to sabotage our own weight-loss efforts. Needless to say, if she offers food, I turn it down or throw it away. So, what should I do with these clothes? The message to me is: "Hi, I've lost weight, so here are my 'fat' clothes to wear." Am I overreacting?

A: Your co-worker should hang on to her big girl shorts. It certainly sounds as if she hasn't resolved her relationship to food if she's bringing in fattening platters for the office. She might soon be finding her "small girl" shorts are too snug. Unless you were truly interested in her hand-me-downs you should have simply declined the offer. If she comes in with bags of her cast-offs tell her your wardrobe is taken care of and she should feel free to donate her old clothes to charity.

hbrittingham

I offered some of my "big girl" clothes to a coworker when they were too big for me. I asked her ahead of time if she would be interested in anything. Prior to that, I had given her some really cute Lane Bryant blouses that were too low cut for me to pull off and she loved them. She wasn't offended. The funniest part of it was that she proceeded to sell some of those clothes to another coworker about a month or two later...LOL

Queen_JessieA

I wouldn't have been offended

redheaddee

This would have been my response, obviously why I don't have a Dear Dee column:

Dear Butthurt Fattie,

Get over yourself. Your friend is trying to be helpful in sharing clothes rather than having them go to waste. Some of those clothes are expensive. And she is not trying to sabatoge your weight loss. Perhaps she has a new found love of cooking and wants to share the fruits of her labor. Seriously, stop blaming your big @ss on others and take responsibility ffor your actions.

Prudie

andyisandy

I thought this thread would be about sex,drugs, and/or rock n' roll lol, anyway it sounds like she is being nice and I would be like thanks. Btw it drives me crazy when people so and so trying to sabatoge me into eating more by bringing food. We can all say no and bring our own food and I know op you didn't write it---just my two cents

TheCaren

I think I'd have made a vague reference to having a bunch of size ___ clothes to get rid of and see if the co-worker says "hey that's what size I'm at, I'll take them off your hands", rather than just come out and basically say "hey, you're fatter than me now, want my fat clothes?" Which it sounds like is what the writer heard, regardless of what the co-worker said.

tedrickp

LOL@ redhead - good response.

I have actually been in this position - I gladly took the clothes.

I am also going to donate all of my fat clothes soon. The original giver was probably being nice, she knew the price of plus sized clothes and wanted to pass on some savings. As a fat dude, i hate the price of clothes - plus having to order them online.

When a friend offered me some of his now too fat clothing- I jumped at the chance. I am a total clothes *kitten* tho...

I have potentially the nicest collection of 6x-5x clothing in history LMAO - Im hoping to make some very fat dude very happy by gifting the collection to them in the near future.

babyblooz

I think both sound like total tools, to be honest. Fat girl sounds defensive and whiny, skinny girl sounds insensitive and smug.

luckyshilling

This would have been my response, obviously why I don't have a Dear Dee column:

Dear Butthurt Fattie,

Get over yourself. Your friend is trying to be helpful in sharing clothes rather than having them go to waste. Some of those clothes are expensive. And she is not trying to sabatoge your weight loss. Perhaps she has a new found love of cooking and wants to share the fruits of her labor. Seriously, stop blaming your big @ss on others and take responsibility ffor your actions.

Prudie

Now I desperately wish that you did indeed have your own column.
:laugh:

wolverine66

Dear Prudence
Won't you come out to play?
Dear Prudence
Greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful, and so are you
Dear Prudence
Won't you come out to play?

DalekBrittany

:huh: Bitter fatty. She brings in food not only for her but for everyone, and it's food she probably thinks everyone will enjoy, and she's "trying to sabotage" you? Puh-lease. This is why I could never have an advice column! :laugh:

ldrosophila

I think both sound like total tools, to be honest. Fat girl sounds defensive and whiny, skinny girl sounds insensitive and smug.

yup

BillyC96

Dear Prudence
Won't you come out to play?
Dear Prudence
Greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful, and so are you
Dear Prudence
Won't you come out to play?

Thank you Mr Wolverine. I was expecting this.