Why are people not happy for you when you lose weight??

Judybowler
Judybowler Posts: 20 Member
in Motivation and Support
Anybody want to help me out with this one?? Why are people not happy for you and wont even tell you congrats when all you do is try to be so positive to them and help them with their weight loss goals??
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Replies

  • cinema_goddess
    cinema_goddess Posts: 13
    Maybe they're having difficulty with their own weight loss and it feels like it's being rubbed in their face when somebody else has (or seems to be having) an easier time of it?
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    jealousy and their own frustration with you winning where they can't.
    Meh.

    Don't let them hurt your feelings.
  • Judybowler
    Judybowler Posts: 20 Member
    Thanks for replying....I try to be as positive as I can be, and try to make them look at how good they are doing...I compliment all the time and its just not good enough..ever...period...Im stressing over this and not once have they ever said congrats to me...but I still try to help them and make them feel as good as possible...thanks for your insights...
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
    Your making progress towards health, wellness & weight loss may seem to accentuate their inability to do the same. Rather than being happy for you, they are upset at themselves. Just one possibility, I'm no psychologist.
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
    They are haters. And they are lazy.
  • cinema_goddess
    cinema_goddess Posts: 13
    They are haters. And they are lazy.
    This attitude works so much better to help motivate.
  • jennagoogles13
    jennagoogles13 Posts: 266
    Pure envy. I can't tell you how many times people just shrug off the fact that I've lost 20 pounds and offer me some dessert. Do they not even understand the concept? I feel like some people are just out to sabotage me...:indifferent:
  • tatd_820
    tatd_820 Posts: 573 Member
    Ever heard of a ONE WAY STREET? Some people are just that...ONE WAY! I have a very dear friend who has not once given me any compliment. I've given her plenty. It is hurtful, but some people are just not into giving props to others. Just be you and do the right thing. Pi$$ on them if they can't give you a congrats on your successes!
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    I think it is guilt and jealousy. I feel bad when I see people eating better than I do and when they lose weight I wish it was me (it is now and I am happy about that), but that never stopped me from saying something nice and positive. But, I am probably a special snowflake :D
  • cindypalm1
    cindypalm1 Posts: 28
    Not sure but let me says congrats your tickers says 66 pounds lost that is awesome good for you and keep up the good work!!:wink:
  • Mavrick_RN
    Mavrick_RN Posts: 439 Member
    Most people are caught up in their own little world and don't notice much around them. It's icing on the cake (is that a bad metaphor?) if someone notices let alone compliments us on our progress. Fortunately you don't need their compliments to be happy with your improved health / fitness. You know what it took to get there and not everyone has it in them to persevere. Maybe they are jealous, more likely they are disappointed in themselves for not having achieved their goals.

    I know I feel better about myself both physically (I can walk with less pain) and mentally (I am not so sluggish) long before anyone says anything about my weight loss. It took 20 pounds for my workmates to notice. Admittedly that was a big boost to my ego but I'm not stressing over the fact that people don't care near as much about my health as I do.

    You can't make others happy with themselves.
  • christinet8504
    christinet8504 Posts: 108
    Most people are so caught up in whats going on in their life that they don't care/notice whats going on with others.
  • MamawChristy
    MamawChristy Posts: 30 Member
    Way to go Judy!! Woo hoo!!!! You will inspire them even if they say nothing.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    they haters and they jelly
    haters-to-the-left-o.gif
    jelly-wobbling-o.gif
  • xcmum
    xcmum Posts: 136
    Maybe they are happy for you but they don't know how to say it? I really suck with making positive comments and sometimes it doesn't even cross my mind until i think about something later and thought "oh i should have said that or this" but the moments past.

    Your ticker looks like you are working really hard so keep it up.. You will get loads of support and compliments on here :)
  • Sharkington
    Sharkington Posts: 485
    Some people are more self centered than others, and cannot get over their own negativity if someone is achieving their goals quicker than them. There are many reasons why people act the way they do, though. Could be guilt, could be resentment, some people just don't keep many people in their radar. Whatever the reason, just keep staying positive to yourself and to them if you care about them. :flowerforyou:
  • sohmui
    sohmui Posts: 108 Member
    I find most people are happy and congratulate me on my weight loss. A few are concerned that it is is a sign of ill health. Some think it makes one look older. Basically, not everyone believes it is good to lose weight, for reasons for their own and based on their own experience. Best to believe in yourself and rely less on what others think.
  • UsernameStillLoading
    UsernameStillLoading Posts: 299 Member
    Maybe they don't see weight loss as a success....it's like when I graduated high school...I didn't see it as a success, but everyone else around me was psyched up.
  • dogo187
    dogo187 Posts: 376
    because you are succeeding in something that they want to but don't have the drive to do so!

    its jealousy and envy!

    certain action of some show their true colours...and while it can be hurtful use that to push you to do more, to be better...

    people suck in general...get used to it!
  • charelg
    charelg Posts: 599 Member
    Jealousy and envy.
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
    Because most people want to be where you are, but they don't want to have to do what you did and it makes them bitter. CONGRATS on the weight loss :)
  • ahfahm
    ahfahm Posts: 4
    Congrats on your weight loss and keep it up! Always remember it is what you do on a positive spin with others actions that make you the better person for the greater good. Best of luck and congrats again. :)
  • Mavrick_RN
    Mavrick_RN Posts: 439 Member
    Most people are so caught up in whats going on in their life that they don't care/notice whats going on with others.

    Obviously my female twin at half my age is alive and well.
  • tatd_820
    tatd_820 Posts: 573 Member
    And...congrats on you losses! Awesome and great work!!!
  • kbornman21
    kbornman21 Posts: 26 Member
    I feel you on this question. I actually got dumped a few weeks after beginning to lose weight and he's now beginning to try and come back around now that I'm down almost 40lbs. Screw him, he can sulk in guilt/shame and eat his feelings while I sit here and take the high road! Don't let anyone bring you down!
  • jerman01
    jerman01 Posts: 34 Member
    People seem to hate it when someone suceeds. I have people telling me that I am losing too much and I exercise too much. Eat something. A little won't hurt.

    Oh well, 70 lbs lost and I feel great.

    Don't stress over it. They need to wake up and give you a big congrats.
  • kslrichard
    kslrichard Posts: 2
    I have a friend who was a total hottie when she got married. Then she had two kids and ended up weighing over 300 pounds. Her husband stayed the same weight the whole time. She tried everything to loose weight and couldn't, he kept sabotaging her, "let's go to dinner, let's get a pizza, let's have drinks...." Finally, she had gastro bypass and went down to 105 lbs. She looks awesome! She had lots of energy, she got a promotion at work, then a new job, then a divorce. He couldn't handle it. He needed to be the big fish. Go figure. Some people are just not happy with themselves. What is the saying, "misery loves company". But when you've decided to not be miserable anymore, you need to find some new company. Keep up the good work, and don't let anyone bring you down to their level. With or without your current friends, YOU deserve to be happy and healthy.
  • boatsie77
    boatsie77 Posts: 480 Member
    ..Im stressing over this and not once have they ever said congrats to me...

    ...why are you allowing yourself to stress out over such a thing?
  • carlysuzanne85
    carlysuzanne85 Posts: 204 Member
    Some people are more self centered than others, and cannot get over their own negativity if someone is achieving their goals quicker than them. There are many reasons why people act the way they do, though. Could be guilt, could be resentment, some people just don't keep many people in their radar. Whatever the reason, just keep staying positive to yourself and to them if you care about them. :flowerforyou:

    Agreed with this.

    Also, my best friend and I are both on a weight loss/developing a healthy lifestyle journey and we both go through our really good times and both go through our struggles, but even if one of us is struggling, we share and celebrate the other one's scale and non-scale victories with them. She's at fifty pounds lost and I am so proud of her. I hope you can find some support like that :) Not everyone is negative and jealous! And if your real life friends aren't supportive, you know MFP-ers will celebrate your successes with you!
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
    A variety of reasons.

    Maybe they feel like you think you know it all.
    Maybe they feel like you're shoving it in their face or think you're better than them.
    Maybe they already know what they need to do and are not there mentally/emotionally to make the change
    Maybe they're jealous
    Maybe they think you're conceited now and don't want to blow up your head more.
    Maybe they feel awkward acknowledging the fact that you even had a lot of weight to lose
    Maybe they feel congratulating you would make them feel worse/lazy/etc
    Maybe theyre not good at complimenting people.

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