No longer feeling sorry 4yourself/blaming others NSVs

NewLIFEstyle4ME

For me, far more than half of this battle of the bulge involves my attitude. Once I determined to judge myself, rather than others it's amazing how easier this battle of the bulge is. It's also quite astounding how when I focus on losing physical pounds and inches first, instead of first changing the way I look at things--again, how much harder it is for me to WIN consistently. When/as I change my attitude and ways of thinking/being/living--it's still hard, yet makes the war more mentally and physically more easier and how much more enthusiasm, hope, and energy I have to utterly win daily in this weight-loss struggle and be a blessing to others instead of a curse to myself and others. I find that having pity-parties, blaming others for my faults and issues, being a know-it-all or the type of attitude where no one can tell me anything because if/when they try to, I'll be sad, mad and feel bad because they are wrong and I'm always right attitude and way of thinking and living which actually hinders my/our progress, my/our relationships with others and brings me/us all kinds of failures and woes. Just the opposite when I humble myself, listen to others (always keeping in the back of my mind that I "may" be wrong in the way I'm thinking or perceiving a matter or person), how much REAL POWER that gives me to succeed in life--not mere weigh-loss, it seems the weight and inches just naturally fall off as I choose to be personality responsible for my thoughts, words, actions, and deeds.

I often wonder when I read success stories, if we are merely changing our outward ways of eating, drinking, living and perhaps maybe seeing outward results (perhaps even reaching our personal weight loss goals) in losing the fat and flab from off of our bodies (that people and we ourselves can see)...but are still may be on the inside (where we and people can not readily see--but effects them and us in super negative and counter-productive ways)where we're still bossy, nags, bad attitudes (mainly towards others, but as well as ourselves), sad sacks, shy or proud/arrogant, being mean-spirited, self righteous and all around miserable?

Better looking and perhaps feeling better physically, on the outside, but ugly is as ugly does inside.

All this to say please do share your success stories of no longer feeling sorry for yourself, blaming others for your weight and problems--I know your sharing will help so many and maybe even y/ourselves! How did you come to the place of changing your bad attitude of blaming others and having a others (people, places and things) are the problem...NOT ME or "they" owe me something mentality, et al?

What is result of your changing you/your ways inside FIRST--your attitude towards yourself or others first and making that a priority in your life and ways? Or are you like so many that blindly go on, ever blaming others and never seeing that it's y/ourself that is the problem?

Bumblebee3441

Thanks for the post, I agree that a person needs to look inside themselves to see what changes need to be made. Again great post! :-)

mattschwartz01

That is pretty insightful! I would agree with you and it would also explain why when I lost the weight the first time, I didn't keep it off because I was still the same judgmental, unhappy person. Health is mind, body, and spirit. Only changing your outward appearance doesn't make you healthy. Health is the trifecta. Now as I lose weight, I'm also making my inner self healthy as well.

NewLIFEstyle4ME

Thanks for the post, I agree that a person needs to look inside themselves to see what changes need to be made. Again great post! :-)

You're very welcomed and thank you for replying! :flowerforyou:

As per usual, whenever I post stuff...I'm ALWAYS talking to/for myself first and foremost--ya know, the ole "physician heal thyself" thing--for sure!

sklarbodds

Excellent post! I always tell people I chose to be fat. Maybe not directly, but by choosing not to go to the gym or eat healthy each day I was in fact making a choice to be fat. There are all kinds of excuses, but when it comes down to it (aside from a real medical problem) we are choosing to be fat.

My story I posted the other day:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/959186--i-gave-up-on-my-goal-a-success-story-no-really-w-pic

NewLIFEstyle4ME

That is pretty insightful! I would agree with you and it would also explain why when I lost the weight the first time, I didn't keep it off because I was still the same judgmental, unhappy person. Health is mind, body, and spirit. Only changing your outward appearance doesn't make you healthy. Health is the trifecta. Now as I lose weight, I'm also making my inner self healthy as well.

You rock sir, for posting this! I know you will not only reach your goal this time, but sustain it for the rest of your life, as you seek to change your insides as your outside changes! Woot!!!!!

brenn24179

Excellent post! I always tell people I chose to be fat. Maybe not directly, but by choosing not to go to the gym or eat healthy each day I was in fact making a choice to be fat. There are all kinds of excuses, but when it comes down to it (aside from a real medical problem) we are choosing to be fat.

My story I posted the other day:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/959186--i-gave-up-on-my-goal-a-success-story-no-really-w-pic

brenn24179

Excellent post! I always tell people I chose to be fat. Maybe not directly, but by choosing not to go to the gym or eat healthy each day I was in fact making a choice to be fat. There are all kinds of excuses, but when it comes down to it (aside from a real medical problem) we are choosing to be fat.

My story I posted the other day:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/959186--i-gave-up-on-my-goal-a-success-story-no-really-w-pic

enjoyed your story, very inspirational. I always say I choose to take care of myself. As a woman, nuturers we take care of our famiies and forget ourselves but I know I need to put myself first and choose to take care of me. Yep, I chose to be fat and not care about me!

NewLIFEstyle4ME

Excellent post! I always tell people I chose to be fat. Maybe not directly, but by choosing not to go to the gym or eat healthy each day I was in fact making a choice to be fat. There are all kinds of excuses, but when it comes down to it (aside from a real medical problem) we are choosing to be fat.

My story I posted the other day:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/959186--i-gave-up-on-my-goal-a-success-story-no-really-w-pic

Wow, just wow! Talk about an excellent post--yours is just tremendous! Congrats to you and thank you so much for posting, you ROCK sir!

NewLIFEstyle4ME

Excellent post! I always tell people I chose to be fat. Maybe not directly, but by choosing not to go to the gym or eat healthy each day I was in fact making a choice to be fat. There are all kinds of excuses, but when it comes down to it (aside from a real medical problem) we are choosing to be fat.

My story I posted the other day:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/959186--i-gave-up-on-my-goal-a-success-story-no-really-w-pic

enjoyed your story, very inspirational. I always say I choose to take care of myself. As a woman, nuturers we take care of our famiies and forget ourselves but I know I need to put myself first and choose to take care of me. Yep, I chose to be fat and not care about me!

This is sooooo true! Thanks for posting!

2FatToRun

Love your post. I get grilled in other threads for my strong stance on accountability and lack thereof. Great to see a fellow supporter of REALITY!!! Kudos to you I hope everyone reads your thread at least 2 times!

2FatToRun

OOPS.... TO answer your question about how I landed her......................I was oblivious. Because I am such a strong minded arrogant person I never realized just how obese I had gotten. I was in such denial. No one dared to tell me for fear of their lives (I am guessing). I knew better. I was raised better. Never once have I blamed anyone for my being fat. I did this. Oblivion is not an excuse to blame others for my loss of self control, loss of self respect, loss of passion for life and most of all loss of compassion for humanity. Being terribly obese not only affect individuals but also their families, friends, and inevitably the world. It was my fault I take the blame and it is ultimately my responsibility to fix it.

CrazyTrackLady

OOPS.... TO answer your question about how I landed her......................I was oblivious. Because I am such a strong minded arrogant person I never realized just how obese I had gotten. I was in such denial. No one dared to tell me for fear of their lives (I am guessing). I knew better. I was raised better. Never once have I blamed anyone for my being fat. I did this. Oblivion is not an excuse to blame others for my loss of self control, loss of self respect, loss of passion for life and most of all loss of compassion for humanity. Being terribly obese not only affect individuals but also their families, friends, and inevitably the world. It was my fault I take the blame and it is ultimately my responsibility to fix it.

I LOVE your "take no prisoners" approach to life AND yourself! I think it shows a lot of maturity. I see the results of molly coddling others in some of the students I teach -- they are being raised to believe that they are the most special snowflakes, ever, and that everything should be fair, nobody should ever, ever say anything negative ever, etc. What ends up happening is they grow up to become self entitled adults who believe the world should rise and set in their backsides. And they cannot handle disappointment, rejection, or anyone telling them "No" or "Stop", because they've never heard it before.

Life's tough, life's unfair, suck it up.

NewLIFEstyle4ME

OOPS.... TO answer your question about how I landed her......................I was oblivious. Because I am such a strong minded arrogant person I never realized just how obese I had gotten. I was in such denial. No one dared to tell me for fear of their lives (I am guessing). I knew better. I was raised better. Never once have I blamed anyone for my being fat. I did this. Oblivion is not an excuse to blame others for my loss of self control, loss of self respect, loss of passion for life and most of all loss of compassion for humanity. Being terribly obese not only affect individuals but also their families, friends, and inevitably the world. It was my fault I take the blame and it is ultimately my responsibility to fix it.

Thank you ever so much for taking the time and care to post! Your words, to me, are both sobering and REAL and even funny...
when you said " I was in such denial. No one dared to tell me for fear of their lives (I am guessing)." What makes this funny (both comical and eerily ironic) is I can sooooo relate to this. Having people SCARED to share their hearts with me, because of being their "FEAR" of my being/responding in a self-righteous, judgmental and at the same time "OVERLY sensitive--aka selfish" way ...WOW--as I think this over, it's getting less and less "funny" and more and more SAD. For me, judging myself (verses judging others--being and getting easily offended), accepting humbly my fault(s) (verses blaming others or life's circumstances) and listening to others (especially with whom I disagree and/or don't particularly care for) and getting over myself and doing the HARD WORK of changing daily is not a final destination for me--not a one time deal, but instead a daily determination and choice...I have not "arrived" but daily choose to have left this place of denial, deception and inner ugliness and journeying on to daily victory over my ultimate enemy (warring with the battle of the bulge and my thoughts, words, actions, and deeds)--I have found the enemy… and it is me! --that's how I see it anyway. This way of living is NOT some false humility or self-deprecation...it's a place where I need to be in order to change PERMANENTLY--starting from the inside OUT and I'm seeing excellent results in my body, mind and soul daily because of it! WOOT!

Again, Thank you so much for posting...YOU ROCK:flowerforyou: :drinker: :flowerforyou:

2FatToRun

OOPS.... TO answer your question about how I landed her......................I was oblivious. Because I am such a strong minded arrogant person I never realized just how obese I had gotten. I was in such denial. No one dared to tell me for fear of their lives (I am guessing). I knew better. I was raised better. Never once have I blamed anyone for my being fat. I did this. Oblivion is not an excuse to blame others for my loss of self control, loss of self respect, loss of passion for life and most of all loss of compassion for humanity. Being terribly obese not only affect individuals but also their families, friends, and inevitably the world. It was my fault I take the blame and it is ultimately my responsibility to fix it.

Thank you ever so much for taking the time and care to post! Your words, to me, are both sobering and REAL and even funny...
when you said " I was in such denial. No one dared to tell me for fear of their lives (I am guessing)." What makes this funny (both comical and eerily ironic) is I can sooooo relate to this. Having people SCARED to share their hearts with me, because of being their "FEAR" of my being/responding in a self-righteous, judgmental and at the same time "OVERLY sensitive--aka selfish" way ...WOW--as I think this over, it's getting less and less "funny" and more and more SAD. For me, judging myself (verses judging others--being and getting easily offended), accepting humbly my fault(s) (verses blaming others or life's circumstances) and listening to others (especially with whom I disagree and/or don't particularly care for) and getting over myself and doing the HARD WORK of changing daily is not a final destination for me--not a one time deal, but instead a daily determination and choice...I have not "arrived" but daily choose to have left this place of denial, deception and inner ugliness and journeying on to daily victory over my ultimate enemy (warring with the battle of the bulge and my thoughts, words, actions, and deeds)--I have found the enemy… and it is me! --that's how I see it anyway. This way of living is NOT some false humility or self-deprecation...it's a place where I need to be in order to change PERMANENTLY--starting from the inside OUT and I'm seeing excellent results in my body, mind and soul daily because of it! WOOT!

Again, Thank you so much for posting...YOU ROCK:flowerforyou: :drinker: :flowerforyou:

You are welcome...I have come to the realization the same ppl who hate me here for my strong opinions and views and sometimes even try and insult me by making comments on my right to even comment due to my obesity will soon have to find newer more original ways to insult me.

The funny thing is...I cant be insulted. Yes I may be too arrogant for others and yes they may mistake it for a superiority complex but I back up the things that come out of my mouth. This is my first time being fat and my last. Doesnt matter how I got here only matters how I fix it. But bet your sweet *kitten* I would never stand upon my pedestal and say anything I am not willing to back up 100%. The ppl on my friends list know this I remind them every day by leading by example.

I am a very strong minded person and I truly believe your mind is your enemy if you do not control it. It has taken YEARS to get to where I am. I have been diagnosed Bi Polar since I was a teen and even took lithium for a good part of my young adulthood. I stopped. I even spent over half a decade of my late 20's self medicating with alcohol and drugs. I do not take any medications nor do I take any drugs or alcohol. Do I drink on occassion..of course....but for different reasons now. Took many years to train my brain to control every single emotion, every single urge, every single damn thing that ppl take for granted on a daily basis. No more mood swings, no more binging on food.drugs etc. So yes I think I have the right (in my mind) to be arrogant because it took a long time to get here and a long time to train my mind so that I dont need medications to be "normal". AM I perfect? Never will be. But what matters is I have the capacity to see my flaws and the common sense to fix them.

This is why I do not support blame and excuses. This is why I call ppl out when I see BS. Ppl do not realize the power ones mind has. Like I said all this matters not....doesnt change a damn thing. I am still fat. But atleast I am doing something about it and not making excuses or blaming others for it................*cheeses so freakin wide with pure arrogance*......I have earned it.

knitbytes

Oh, this is me all over! I spent so many years blaming outside factors for everything wrong with my life. One of the big things I've struggled with for the past three or four months as I've started this new lifestyle is the realization and knowledge that *I did this to myself*. It was not genetics, or fate, or my ex-boyfriend (as much as he told me he was trying to get me fat "so other guys wouldn't want me"), or an underlying health condition... it was *my actions*. It was both devastating and empowering to know this because, yes, I can't believe I put myself into this situation, but it also meant that I could get OUT of it, myself, without external help. And that's just what I've been doing.

That knowledge- that my situation is my doing and only I can get myself out of it- has spread to other areas of my life. Financial, employment, even my relationships with friends. I just feel so empowered and in control! If there's something wrong, *I* can change things. My actions can make a difference. That's just huge for me!

2FatToRun

Oh, this is me all over! I spent so many years blaming outside factors for everything wrong with my life. One of the big things I've struggled with for the past three or four months as I've started this new lifestyle is the realization and knowledge that *I did this to myself*. It was not genetics, or fate, or my ex-boyfriend (as much as he told me he was trying to get me fat "so other guys wouldn't want me"), or an underlying health condition... it was *my actions*. It was both devastating and empowering to know this because, yes, I can't believe I put myself into this situation, but it also meant that I could get OUT of it, myself, without external help. And that's just what I've been doing.

That knowledge- that my situation is my doing and only I can get myself out of it- has spread to other areas of my life. Financial, employment, even my relationships with friends. I just feel so empowered and in control! If there's something wrong, *I* can change things. My actions can make a difference. That's just huge for me!

TY for living in reality! Isn't it nice here? :laugh: Kudos to you for owning your life and even more praise for fixing it!!!! We ar ewell on our way arent we? :drinker:

CrazyTrackLady

OOPS.... TO answer your question about how I landed her......................I was oblivious. Because I am such a strong minded arrogant person I never realized just how obese I had gotten. I was in such denial. No one dared to tell me for fear of their lives (I am guessing). I knew better. I was raised better. Never once have I blamed anyone for my being fat. I did this. Oblivion is not an excuse to blame others for my loss of self control, loss of self respect, loss of passion for life and most of all loss of compassion for humanity. Being terribly obese not only affect individuals but also their families, friends, and inevitably the world. It was my fault I take the blame and it is ultimately my responsibility to fix it.

Thank you ever so much for taking the time and care to post! Your words, to me, are both sobering and REAL and even funny...
when you said " I was in such denial. No one dared to tell me for fear of their lives (I am guessing)." What makes this funny (both comical and eerily ironic) is I can sooooo relate to this. Having people SCARED to share their hearts with me, because of being their "FEAR" of my being/responding in a self-righteous, judgmental and at the same time "OVERLY sensitive--aka selfish" way ...WOW--as I think this over, it's getting less and less "funny" and more and more SAD. For me, judging myself (verses judging others--being and getting easily offended), accepting humbly my fault(s) (verses blaming others or life's circumstances) and listening to others (especially with whom I disagree and/or don't particularly care for) and getting over myself and doing the HARD WORK of changing daily is not a final destination for me--not a one time deal, but instead a daily determination and choice...I have not "arrived" but daily choose to have left this place of denial, deception and inner ugliness and journeying on to daily victory over my ultimate enemy (warring with the battle of the bulge and my thoughts, words, actions, and deeds)--I have found the enemy… and it is me! --that's how I see it anyway. This way of living is NOT some false humility or self-deprecation...it's a place where I need to be in order to change PERMANENTLY--starting from the inside OUT and I'm seeing excellent results in my body, mind and soul daily because of it! WOOT!

Again, Thank you so much for posting...YOU ROCK:flowerforyou: :drinker: :flowerforyou:

You are welcome...I have come to the realization the same ppl who hate me here for my strong opinions and views and sometimes even try and insult me by making comments on my right to even comment due to my obesity will soon have to find newer more original ways to insult me.

The funny thing is...I cant be insulted. Yes I may be too arrogant for others and yes they may mistake it for a superiority complex but I back up the things that come out of my mouth. This is my first time being fat and my last. Doesnt matter how I got here only matters how I fix it. But bet your sweet *kitten* I would never stand upon my pedestal and say anything I am not willing to back up 100%. The ppl on my friends list know this I remind them every day by leading by example.

I am a very strong minded person and I truly believe your mind is your enemy if you do not control it. It has taken YEARS to get to where I am. I have been diagnosed Bi Polar since I was a teen and even took lithium for a good part of my young adulthood. I stopped. I even spent over half a decade of my late 20's self medicating with alcohol and drugs. I do not take any medications nor do I take any drugs or alcohol. Do I drink on occassion..of course....but for different reasons now. Took many years to train my brain to control every single emotion, every single urge, every single damn thing that ppl take for granted on a daily basis. No more mood swings, no more binging on food.drugs etc. So yes I think I have the right (in my mind) to be arrogant because it took a long time to get here and a long time to train my mind so that I dont need medications to be "normal". AM I perfect? Never will be. But what matters is I have the capacity to see my flaws and the common sense to fix them.

This is why I do not support blame and excuses. This is why I call ppl out when I see BS. Ppl do not realize the power ones mind has. Like I said all this matters not....doesnt change a damn thing. I am still fat. But atleast I am doing something about it and not making excuses or blaming others for it................*cheeses so freakin wide with pure arrogance*......I have earned it.

This is why I really like having you on my friends' list. You call it like you see it. I respect that. Sugarcoating only makes things sticky in the end.

NewLIFEstyle4ME

Oh, this is me all over! I spent so many years blaming outside factors for everything wrong with my life. One of the big things I've struggled with for the past three or four months as I've started this new lifestyle is the realization and knowledge that *I did this to myself*. It was not genetics, or fate, or my ex-boyfriend (as much as he told me he was trying to get me fat "so other guys wouldn't want me"), or an underlying health condition... it was *my actions*. It was both devastating and empowering to know this because, yes, I can't believe I put myself into this situation, but it also meant that I could get OUT of it, myself, without external help. And that's just what I've been doing.

That knowledge- that my situation is my doing and only I can get myself out of it- has spread to other areas of my life. Financial, employment, even my relationships with friends. I just feel so empowered and in control! If there's something wrong, *I* can change things. My actions can make a difference. That's just huge for me!

:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: