But I'm afraid of the outside world....(x-posted)

autozomb

My title really says it all.I live in a major city and HATE going outside. I have anxiety about being around other people.
I'll tie that in later.

Anyway, I am 22 and my daughter just turned 1. Before I got pregnant I was 150lbs. Now, for my height of 5'8 that was perfect but I always thought I was bigger than I was. Mainly because I was a lot bigger in high school. So once I got smaller I never really "enjoyed" being "thin". Also because the only reason I lost weight was from extreme anxiety that caused me to never go outside except to school and to never eat. (It was not my choice to not eat, everytime I did I would just throw it back up from panic attacks.) I have always battled with depression and once I became pregnant I never wanted to leave my home. I hated even going to the grocery store. My depression lead me to eat...And then eat some more...And some more...Until finally by the time my daughter was to arrive I had gained 85lbs!...How on earth does that happen so quickly?! Well the first few weeks of her life I was very sick from recovery (Found an infection, was allergic to antibiotic, healed very slowly, yadayadayada..) so I really didn't even get out of bed. It's been a year now and the weight on my body has greatly contributed to my depression and anxiety To the point where if my husband is not with me I will not leave my apartment.

OK, So the point of all this is;
I NEED to get all of this weight off. I get ill looking at myself in the mirror and I have tried working out at home but with a thin husband and no friends it is very hard to do alone...My diet is not the worst but can obviously use some improving. Now here's the kicker, I have a membership to the YMCA in my city but I'm afraid to walk over there and start anything because I have no idea how to have "me" time. I'm a shut-in and it's getting to the point where I am starting to get angry at myself. I hate being around people but want so badly to lose this weight..I guess not bad enough but it's been a FRIGGIN YEAR. I could really use the support and advice, hell even people who are starting their weight loss as well.





TL;DR: HI I'm Kari and I'm afraid of the outside world! HALP.

missCherry1977

Honestly I think you are worried about the wrong thing right now. You need to get your anxiety and depression under control first. ((hugs)) to you and your family.