I get no respect! Can't people just be happy for you?!
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You are definitely not the only one.
I have had friends of mine who, when I have announced that I cannot have chocolate because I am trying to eat healthier have proceeded to wave a chocolate bar in my face for five minutes, thinking I will succumb to temptation. It's a nightmare, especially in a society that is constantly telling women to look a certain way and be healthy, but then doesn't support those who want to be healthy ... ughh it really bugs me.
That is so obnoxious! Do you then double dare them to eat a carrot? Or, perhaps, insert it?0 -
People are jealous..So i just do me and basically say "Forget wat they say"0
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Get new friends. If they are so unsupportive and you feel the need to call them meatheads on the Internet... Maybe it is time to Just Break Up0
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People tell me I am crazy because I go to the gym, and eat how I do. I have an over weight associate who sometimes attends the gym with me, and every time I eat a mini candy bar she tells me "Stop eating chocolates, they will make you fat" yes..I know, but amazingly, I can handle my candy bars. I just spent the last year working out and working hard...unlike you and your 1/2 mile which I told you to run...
I mean, it's fine if she doesn't want to work out, but she keeps saying "I want to be thin and go hard" I think she just hasn't really decided to do it yet.
Many of friends have asked me to stop posting fitness and food on my facebook...and that I am using the gym to feel superior to them...0 -
Maybe they are genuinely not interested? Some people just don't get it. Take people that have kids and people that don't now I love my friends and their kids but am I REALLY interested about hearing every single detail of what their kids did 100 times over?
It's ok to be at different stages in your life. I understand you want to inspire them but it won't happen until they are ready.
Keep doing what you are doing and be ready to help them out when they ask for it.
Good luck.
Second this ^^^^ Without knowing you or them or the conversations, it's hard to tell if the cause is jealousy or being burned out by perceived bragging/repetitive topics. Be careful it's not the latter.
PS A bunch of my coworkers and my best friends are having kids. I swear to bejesus, if I have to ooo/ahhh another baby toy, or listen to all the inconveniences of pregnancy... Ugh... It's hard.0 -
I've always found that, unless people ask, it's best to just sort of keep quiet about diet/workouts, etc (except for certain close friends). As a former fitness model and personal trainer (and in basically the same shape as I was then), I just try to assume people aren't interested UNLESS they ask ..and then I won't shut up!
But, yeah, people get jealous, don't understand your choices, are insecure because they think perhaps THEY should be making the same choices as you but can't for whatever reason, etc. People are weird and when you are making progress, often they take it as a personal insult, especially women. It sucks. But true friends will be cool and support you, and f*** those who don't--who needs that? You are doing great things, you are being healthier and reaching goals. That's awesome.
If it's a good friend who is acting unsupportive, maybe it's worth it to (delicately) bring up how you perceive their actions and words. I bet a lot of people don't even realize how they sound (hopefully, anyway!).
PS You look fabulous!0 -
Without knowing you or them or the conversations, it's hard to tell if the cause is jealousy or being burned out by perceived bragging/repetitive topics. Be careful it's not the latter.
That is another good point. Make sure you're not bragging, which is part of the reason I personally assume people aren't interested (because it will sound braggy to be like "Oh, I kicked this workout's *kitten* today!" or whatever...). Seriously, after a certain point or fitness level, I feel like things are almost automatically going to come off as bragging, you know? No matter how hard you've worked or how proud of yourself you are. But that may just be my own perception and fear of offending people! 0 -
Get new friends. If they are so unsupportive and you feel the need to call them meatheads on the Internet... Maybe it is time to Just Break Up
Pretty sure that the meatheads are the friends that she likes.
Other than that, yeah, spend more time with the meathead friends. Those are the ones that want to have fitness conversations. If you want to talk about diet and exercise all the time, it's going to get pretty old for your 'civilian' friends. It's not them, it's you. Before you got interested in getting in super shape, they didn't talk your ear off about diet and exercise, so why do you think they want to hear about it now?
You've changed, so deal with it. Don't expect everyone around you to suddenly change with you0 -
I have yet to post anything about my diet or fitness achievements on Facebook. That is what MFP is for. So we can connect with others who have similar fitness goals. They get it on here. Random people on FB are not in the same place and don't want to hear about it. I don't blame them. Talk about something else on FB and keep your fitness convos on here.0
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sorry this is happening with your friends, my coworkers do this to me, we drive an hour up the road for some luncheon we're being pressured to attend and i splurge on a tasty portobello chicken sandwich but skip on the dessert then get the third degree about why i don't want dessert, and how i'm no fun, pressure pressure pressure but exactly what sounds good about a lemon meringue pie with meringue that's 8 inches tall? that much sugar after as hard as i've worked makes me cringe!0
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I experience this all the time, myself. I have a few supportive friends (mostly on MFP, some who are fellow yogi's or runners) but family and actual friends don't really get it at all. I can be talking about things (I am often asked vs. just randomly spouting stuff LOL) or not and constantly hear "you're so tiny, why don't you eat this pizza?, how bout a pound of chocolate", everything in moderation, have some of this!" and it's like would you just SHUT UP? Just because you wouldn't be happy doing what I do (eating healthy 80% of the time, having treats and what not 20% of the time) and training as much as I do, does not mean I am not happy. I am doing this because I love it, because it makes me feel good mind, body and soul. I am not starving myself.. in fact, I probably eat more calories than most of the people complaining. They either eat too little (one person tells me every two weeks "tomorrow will be the start of my diet / lifestyle change
) or it's all garbage calories. Or they drink a ton and un-do any goodness they do with food, with alcohol. At any rate, I don't care what other people think. I do what I do for me. BUT if people ask me about what I am doing, I will share. And then we go around in the circle above again. Maybe I'll just start refusing to share anymore. :P 0 -
I totally get where everyone is coming from. I suppose it can get obnoxious for people who are not a least bit interested, but I don't JUST post about that. I use a group I'm in on FB to log in workouts and times, as that's what we created it for, and we are all supportive no matter the stage we are in. I live away from all my fam and only have a few friends in my new state so FB is how I share EVERYTHING...that is IF I share at all. I don't like posting too personal stuff so it is what it is. I appreciate everyone's input, because maybe I AM being kind of a jerk in a way. And yes, I was totally channeling Rodney D. LOL
Seriously, thanks for the eye opener. It's hard because I love my lifestyle so much, but to others it may seem excessive. What can I say, it's not just a hobby! Happy weekend everyone!
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Seriously, thanks for the eye opener. It's hard because I love my lifestyle so much, but to others it may seem excessive. What can I say, it's not just a hobby!
I hear ya on this. Some people think we are nuts for being so obsessed with fitness and diet. But I just don't talk about it with those friends. If it comes up, I'll talk about it briefly. If they seem interested, I'll share what i have learned, offer to support them. If they seem uninterested, subject it changed to something else. I got lots to talk about with my friends. And i have a handful of friends where ALL we talk about really is fitness related stuff. And those friendships rule as well.0 -
Forget them. IF that is you in the profile pic you look great!0
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Maybe they're tired of hearing about it (my husband got tired of hearing me talk about MFP). Or, maybe hearing you talk about living a healthy lifestyle makes them feel guilty because they aren't. (Before I was on this journey myself, I tried to be supportive of family on a weight loss journey, so I let them talk about it, but deep down I felt guilty when I heard about their diet, and how many pounds they lost because I knew that I should have been eating better than I was, but I was too stressed out at the time to do it.)0
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Thanks! It is and worked my butt off for 3 years to get that! lolForget them. IF that is you in the profile pic you look great!
And again, everyone that has commented has been helpful and constructive. I appreciate it. It is MY lifestyle not necessarily anyone else's and I def shouldn't make people sick of hearing about it. I did join MFP for the support and camaraderie, so what am I complaining about?! I just need to get my other fitness friends on here! It's all about perspective and I hate when I whine, so kudos for snapping me out of it!
Much love and suppport 0 -
I really don't talk to people about it. I post here and that's about it. Most of my girl friends like me late 40's. But most if not all are over weight or obese. Why on Earth would I discuss my latest Insanity results with them? They are doing nothing to improve their health, so I figure why bother. They see the changes in me. If and when they ask, then I will share what I am doing. I love them the way they are. And pray that the light bulb that went off in my head will go off in theirs and they will get serious about their health. Most are only making excuses as to why they are fat.
Just keep pressing on and keep doing what you are doing. If they come around great. But until they do, only share with people who are on the same path as you. The others will never understand.0 -
You are not alone.0
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When my friends aren't interested in a conversation topic, I stop bringing it up with them. Maybe you could try that?
Exactly this. Why don't you just concentrate on yourself and not worry about what others are doing or not doing? This is YOUR thing, not theirs.0 -
I think a lot of people, especially if they are naturally slim and/or not into fitness & nutrition, just don't care. They are too busy thinking about other things or interests. That's been my experience anyway. My family and closest friends may be happy for me when I meet a personal health goal, but it's not a typical topic of conversation with most other folks. And even with those who are happy for me, they don't want to hear about it constantly. So be careful with that.0
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I understand your viewpoint. Because of many reasons other have pointed out many people, even with good intentions try to sabotage the efforts of the dedicated.
In this society is so hard to stay healthy and fit that a lot of people think it's impossible to do it. And try to get you to live a little.
I wish I had better news but I think all of us need to get used to that kinda negative energy.
Sorry. Hang in there.
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Research studies have been done to show that people don't like it when those around them change for the better. So they will do whatever they can to sabotage you, even if they don't realize they are doing it. You don't need to suck it up. Let them know that you appreciate their concern for you but that you have made a lifestyle choice and that this is something you want to do and that you want them to be supportive of you. It's very important in these types of conversations to avoid using the word "you" a lot and focus as much of the conversation on your own self as possible to avoid a blow up. I envision it going something like this.
(praise for the offenders) Thank you so much for caring so much about me. It means a lot to me that you want me to be happy. You are a really great friend and I don't know what I would do without you.
(explain yourself). When I decided to make these changes to my lifestyle, I knew that it was going to be hard for everyone, but I needed to focus on me and the changes I needed to make to my life. I feel that the healthier I am the happier I am and the better friend I'm able to be because I can focus on being a good friend and a good person rather than focusing on my health issues and negative self body image like I used to do.
(ask for support). But I can't do this by myself. I need support from my friends to help me keep getting stronger and healthier. I need someone to hold me accountable and make sure that I make the right choices to keep myself on track.
(praise them again) You're always so good at holding me accountable. I know that you can do that for me now. Will you help me? I really need you.
You'd be surprised how far these words can take you in getting people to stop sabotaging you. They suddenly start taking responsibility for your success. And they realize they'll get something out of it. It is awesome how it changes things.0 -
Don't be a gym bore. Don't expect others to fawn over your accomplishments and become your fitness disciples.0
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I feel the sameway people always tell me oh you look fine you can eat this or that. I am like hell no I can't and these are people that know that I workout and track my food daily. I kept 25+ pounds off because I am dedicated to what I am doing. I mean I will go out of a unhealthy dinner and I am fine with that but 90% of the time I am concentrated on this life style. My coworker always says arent you sick of working out and I tell her no I really love it I am addicted. I know some people are natuarally skinny but no one is naturally fit you have to work at it and I am 6 years and still trying!!0
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I've found in life, that the majority of people out there DON'T want others to succeed above them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I guess it is an NSV that people are now annoying me about my weight loss LOL Im still clearly a work in progress, but I can't stand when I tell people what I am doing (simple calorie counting + exercise...gasp) and they look incredulously at me or offer conflicting advice.
Also this might be the first time this particular weight loss tip has been given on this site. But if you live in a small town and you lose like 100lbs...DO NOT...flippantly reply "blow" when people ask how you lost weight. That is the kind of rumor that will follow you around LOL0
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