I get no respect! Can't people just be happy for you?!

Options
2

Replies

  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    Options
    I can't say all my friends are guilty of this because I do have a very awesome group of fitness friends, but why can't people just be supportive. They ignore any convo about your accomplishments, milestones etc and even tell you to eat a cheeseburger! I'm not "skinny" or even remotely close to being in my goal bady fat %! So frustrating. I have my cheat days, but eat pretty strict paleo 90% of the time. I am always trying to challenge myself physically (just started the SealFit 5 week challenge) but aside from my super hardcore meat head friends, no one seems to understand I'm not the one with the problem! This is def a lifestyle, and it sucks that a lot of people can't be supportive of THIS kind of lifestyle choice either. I pick up my straw and suck it up, but I know I'm not the only one.

    um. you lost me. what??? Are you seriously complaining that your friends are not "supportive" enough because they ignore it when you brag about your accomplishments??? You might come off as having a problem if this is all you talk about and you take it personally when your friends aren't interested in going on and on about your accomplishments and your diet and your body fat percentage.

    hell. I LOVE talking about this stuff, but I'd get sick of it too.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
    Options
    It is totally for me, but at the same time I hope to inspire others to just live healthy. It doesn't have to be what I'm doing, but I share a lot of my stuff via FB (I don't do before and after pictures because I'm trying to maintain a focus on strength not size) but people can be downright rude! I mean jeez, most of the time people just ignore it and that is fine, but don't try and convince me I'm doing something wrong. That's basically my rant. I don't need acknowledgement necessarily, but they are all over me if I post something political or religious...this is why I deleted most everything though.

    There comes a point on every FB page where constant status updates about the same subject become boring and overdone. While you might be enthusiastic and excited for what you are doing, OTHERS may not share that same level of enthusiasm and appreciation. They may see YOUR comments as in equal competition to the numerous political or religious rants.

    Excessive status updates are obnoxious, no matter the subject material.
  • Lady_Bane
    Lady_Bane Posts: 720 Member
    Options
    Ppl can be jerks, and try to convince you to change your ways....basically making me feel like my goals are stupid. Screw that...I noticed that all these people hating on me eventually come to me for advice after time. So, in my perspective, its quite ironic....so I just tell myself that Im happy for MYSELF and let the haters come crawling over later. lol
  • dancindoc508
    dancindoc508 Posts: 41 Member
    Options
    I get the same thing!! People always say, oh you don't need to lose more weight. I keep trying to tell them, I'm not really trying to be skinnier I just want to have actual muscle now and become more toned. I'm not going to stop going to the gym or stop being mindful of what I'm eating just because I lost the weight. I actually want to maintain it (maybe lose more) and see what my body can actually do. It's always people who are bigger than you that tell you to stop losing. It's never someone who is actually really fit.
  • samanthalee87
    samanthalee87 Posts: 178
    Options
    I think a big thing is a pang of jealousy that arises when people aren't happy with themselves and can't find it in them to be happy for you. Can't be mad, it's just a way of life! I'd start reaching out to them! Find those people who aren't as supportive (or even negative) and start up a conversation that may lead to helping them into being happier with their own health and fitness.
  • persistantone
    persistantone Posts: 59 Member
    Options
    Why care? Live your life for you. I don't know you, but as a fellow human being, I'm sure that you, especially since you've come this far in your health journey, don't need constant support and external validation to take the steps necessary to make your life better for you. Without any intention of sounding harsh, perhaps try needing less from others and simply appreciating what you already have.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Options
    Well, if weight is something they struggle with, I can see how it might be hurtful for them to hear about all the success you're having.
  • myfitnessval
    myfitnessval Posts: 687 Member
    Options
    weight loss is kind of like having a baby. everyones happy for you but also secretly jealous, and they get kind of annoyed of seeing you post ONLY baby pix...lol so when all you talk about is health/nutrition/etc people stop listening and start to roll their eyes lol. trust me, iv'e been there, seen it happen. the trick is to find the few friends who are genuinely interested in hearing about your progress and talk to THEM about it, not everyone. if they are genuinely giviving you crap for your new lifestyle remind yourself that this whole thing is for YOU not them and maybe you should find new friends?
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
    Options
    I get this kind of thing all the time. I just choose to ignore it.

    One person in told me last Friday that they will never lose weight because they heard that there is a gene for obesity, and they obviously have it, so why try... All in all I chalk it up to jealousy because they don't have the dedication and self control that fitness minded people have. They *could* if they wanted to, but deep down they really just enjoy eating all those calories and being lazy.
  • ffhsanfran
    ffhsanfran Posts: 63 Member
    Options
    some (most?) people can barely be happy for themselves. Don't wait up on support.
  • emergencytennis
    emergencytennis Posts: 864 Member
    Options
    You are definitely not the only one.
    I have had friends of mine who, when I have announced that I cannot have chocolate because I am trying to eat healthier have proceeded to wave a chocolate bar in my face for five minutes, thinking I will succumb to temptation. It's a nightmare, especially in a society that is constantly telling women to look a certain way and be healthy, but then doesn't support those who want to be healthy ... ughh it really bugs me.

    That is so obnoxious! Do you then double dare them to eat a carrot? Or, perhaps, insert it?
  • ShyyDNA
    ShyyDNA Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    People are jealous..So i just do me and basically say "Forget wat they say"
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Options
    Get new friends. If they are so unsupportive and you feel the need to call them meatheads on the Internet... Maybe it is time to Just Break Up
  • Dpade1337
    Dpade1337 Posts: 21
    Options
    People tell me I am crazy because I go to the gym, and eat how I do. I have an over weight associate who sometimes attends the gym with me, and every time I eat a mini candy bar she tells me "Stop eating chocolates, they will make you fat" yes..I know, but amazingly, I can handle my candy bars. I just spent the last year working out and working hard...unlike you and your 1/2 mile which I told you to run...
    I mean, it's fine if she doesn't want to work out, but she keeps saying "I want to be thin and go hard" I think she just hasn't really decided to do it yet.
    Many of friends have asked me to stop posting fitness and food on my facebook...and that I am using the gym to feel superior to them...
  • cleback
    cleback Posts: 261 Member
    Options
    Maybe they are genuinely not interested? Some people just don't get it. Take people that have kids and people that don't now I love my friends and their kids but am I REALLY interested about hearing every single detail of what their kids did 100 times over?
    It's ok to be at different stages in your life. I understand you want to inspire them but it won't happen until they are ready. :smile:
    Keep doing what you are doing and be ready to help them out when they ask for it.

    Good luck.

    Second this ^^^^ Without knowing you or them or the conversations, it's hard to tell if the cause is jealousy or being burned out by perceived bragging/repetitive topics. Be careful it's not the latter.

    PS A bunch of my coworkers and my best friends are having kids. I swear to bejesus, if I have to ooo/ahhh another baby toy, or listen to all the inconveniences of pregnancy... Ugh... It's hard.
  • lhourin
    lhourin Posts: 144 Member
    Options
    I've always found that, unless people ask, it's best to just sort of keep quiet about diet/workouts, etc (except for certain close friends). As a former fitness model and personal trainer (and in basically the same shape as I was then), I just try to assume people aren't interested UNLESS they ask ..and then I won't shut up! :)
    But, yeah, people get jealous, don't understand your choices, are insecure because they think perhaps THEY should be making the same choices as you but can't for whatever reason, etc. People are weird and when you are making progress, often they take it as a personal insult, especially women. It sucks. But true friends will be cool and support you, and f*** those who don't--who needs that? You are doing great things, you are being healthier and reaching goals. That's awesome.
    If it's a good friend who is acting unsupportive, maybe it's worth it to (delicately) bring up how you perceive their actions and words. I bet a lot of people don't even realize how they sound (hopefully, anyway!).
    PS You look fabulous!
  • lhourin
    lhourin Posts: 144 Member
    Options

    Without knowing you or them or the conversations, it's hard to tell if the cause is jealousy or being burned out by perceived bragging/repetitive topics. Be careful it's not the latter.

    That is another good point. Make sure you're not bragging, which is part of the reason I personally assume people aren't interested (because it will sound braggy to be like "Oh, I kicked this workout's *kitten* today!" or whatever...). Seriously, after a certain point or fitness level, I feel like things are almost automatically going to come off as bragging, you know? No matter how hard you've worked or how proud of yourself you are. But that may just be my own perception and fear of offending people! :)
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Options
    Get new friends. If they are so unsupportive and you feel the need to call them meatheads on the Internet... Maybe it is time to Just Break Up

    Pretty sure that the meatheads are the friends that she likes.

    Other than that, yeah, spend more time with the meathead friends. Those are the ones that want to have fitness conversations. If you want to talk about diet and exercise all the time, it's going to get pretty old for your 'civilian' friends. It's not them, it's you. Before you got interested in getting in super shape, they didn't talk your ear off about diet and exercise, so why do you think they want to hear about it now?

    You've changed, so deal with it. Don't expect everyone around you to suddenly change with you
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
    Options
    I have yet to post anything about my diet or fitness achievements on Facebook. That is what MFP is for. So we can connect with others who have similar fitness goals. They get it on here. Random people on FB are not in the same place and don't want to hear about it. I don't blame them. Talk about something else on FB and keep your fitness convos on here.
  • lizibame
    lizibame Posts: 59 Member
    Options
    sorry this is happening with your friends, my coworkers do this to me, we drive an hour up the road for some luncheon we're being pressured to attend and i splurge on a tasty portobello chicken sandwich but skip on the dessert then get the third degree about why i don't want dessert, and how i'm no fun, pressure pressure pressure but exactly what sounds good about a lemon meringue pie with meringue that's 8 inches tall? that much sugar after as hard as i've worked makes me cringe!

Categories