Okay, I'm a big baby.
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Okay, I'm a big baby
Oops I misread this to say "Okay I'm big, baby." And was reminded of dating my hubby. Wishing, I'd had a warning. The end.0 -
Where i come from , this is a huge lack of respect.. but like i said.. "we dont do this in MY relationship." Im not judging anyone elses relationship.
No, it didn't seem like you were. I'm just curious. What's disrespectful about it?0 -
I'd be less worried about your friends and more worried about your boyfriend... you're only going to hang out with him 1 day a week now? Because hanging out more would mean he's going to eat food and drink drinks that aren't on your plan?
Why is HE needing to eat/drink anything on her plan for her to lose weight? this makes no sense to me?
My husband and children do not eat anything on my plan.. yet ive lost nearly 52 pounds.
Am i missing something? or are you making the same point as I am? Maybe im just sleepy. LOL0 -
Where i come from , this is a huge lack of respect.. but like i said.. "we dont do this in MY relationship." Im not judging anyone elses relationship.
No, it didn't seem like you were. I'm just curious. What's disrespectful about it?
Bars are for 2 things.. drinking and picking up people for :reasons: We are married. we arent there for the second reason. If you wanna drink. do it at home. Its cheaper (you have a family to support) and you wont get a DUI (which teaches your children a little bit about responsibility and being a responsible adult and drinking.. they are teenagers) as well as respect for your spouse. There is NO reason I should be telling my children that "daddy is at the bar" There is beer in the fridge and if he needs somone to pour it/make it/serve it.. i can do all of those things. We have a Tv, and if he wants a pool table, we can get one of those. Our children will never know that a bar is more important than our family and my husband makes certain of it. They are 14 & almost 16 now and can not tell you ONE day that my husband spent in a bar. He drinks.. a lot! but has spent his days at home, enjoying his family.. cooking out, having fun & not worrying myself, his children or anyone else about driving home, worrying someone to come get him.. or any USELESS worrying... about things a woman shouldnt have to worry about. Ya know? :flowerforyou:
Mainly, its for the respect of my children, daughters. They will never grow up and allow their men to spend nights in a bar. They were taught properly... how to be treated by a man.
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I appreciate all of the replies. For the "strict" diet and exercise plan.. I'll elaborate to help people understand. This is not a entire life plan. It is a ten week program that I signed up for. So yes, I will only have one day a week for 8 more weeks. I can choose whatever day I would like as my free day for the week, but since my class is at 5:30 on Saturday mornings, I decided that I will have my free day either on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what the plans are with my friends.
The average person with my weight to lose succeeds by losing between 15-40 lbs per ten weeks and learns skills to keep it off (or to continue losing) without being so limited to food and having such an extreme workout plan with the program I am in.I thought that my friends and family..and boyfriend would understand that this is a temporary process, and that I will be able to do a lot more right when summer hits!
Again, I appreciate all of the replies, it is very nice of you all to take the time to respond. Also, to the person that said that I "just want some attention." I am posting on here for help, this is why it is on the Motivation and Support section. I am sorry that you feel that way, but please, understand that I am looking for exactly what this section is meant for.0 -
when you change your diet, you change your old lifestyle. Sometimes it's just inevitable that you will also lose/distance yourself from friends that were a part of it ... drinking buddies, people you socialized a lot with around food/alcohol. It seems shallow, but these were the interests that revolved around the relationship. It sucks, but it happens. =/
eta: it's only a 10 week program so they'll probably get over it soon enough.0 -
Bars are for 2 things.. drinking and picking up people for :reasons: We are married. we arent there for the second reason. If you wanna drink. do it at home. Its cheaper (you have a family to support) and you wont get a DUI (which teaches your children a little bit about responsibility and being a responsible adult and drinking.. they are teenagers) as well as respect for your spouse. There is NO reason I should be telling my children that "daddy is at the bar" There is beer in the fridge and if he needs somone to pour it/make it/serve it.. i can do all of those things. We have a Tv, and if he wants a pool table, we can get one of those. Our children will never know that a bar is more important than our family and my husband makes certain of it. They are 14 & almost 16 now and can not tell you ONE day that my husband spent in a bar. He drinks.. a lot! but has spent his days at home, enjoying his family.. cooking out, having fun & not worrying myself, his children or anyone else about driving home, worrying someone to come get him.. or any USELESS worrying... about things a woman shouldnt have to worry about. Ya know? :flowerforyou:
Mainly, its for the respect of my children, daughters. They will never grow up and allow their men to spend nights in a bar. They were taught properly... how to be treated by a man.
Makes sense. It may also depend on the bars in your area. On the infrequent occasions when my husband grabs a beer with his guy friends, I kind of see it as the same as when I grab a coffee with my pals. Cheaper at home but nice to get away now and then. I've gone out with friends to bars without him too, but not to be doing something I shouldn't be doing.0 -
I appreciate all of the replies. For the "strict" diet and exercise plan.. I'll elaborate to help people understand. This is not a entire life plan. It is a ten week program that I signed up for. So yes, I will only have one day a week for 8 more weeks. I can choose whatever day I would like as my free day for the week, but since my class is at 5:30 on Saturday mornings, I decided that I will have my free day either on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what the plans are with my friends.
The average person with my weight to lose succeeds by losing between 15-40 lbs per ten weeks and learns skills to keep it off (or to continue losing) without being so limited to food and having such an extreme workout plan with the program I am in.I thought that my friends and family..and boyfriend would understand that this is a temporary process, and that I will be able to do a lot more right when summer hits!
Again, I appreciate all of the replies, it is very nice of you all to take the time to respond. Also, to the person that said that I "just want some attention." I am posting on here for help, this is why it is on the Motivation and Support section. I am sorry that you feel that way, but please, understand that I am looking for exactly what this section is meant for.
This helps us to understand a little more.. this is a program, not something you are doing long term. Have you explained to your friends its a short term process you are doing & you will be back to your old self in 10 weeks? and do you plan on doing that? You said you learned skills to keep it off, however unless you keep this exact process up, you wont "keep it up". Dieting and lifestyle changes are about some pretty basic things. One very basic thing is calories out versus calories in. You cannot do that unless you stick with the program, which wont continue after 10 weeks. I know its hard to undersand, but please read below:
Please check out this link and read it very carefully. Its about the best link on the web about losing weight. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/937712-in-place-of-a-road-map-ver-3-00 -
Where i come from , this is a huge lack of respect.. but like i said.. "we dont do this in MY relationship." Im not judging anyone elses relationship.
No, it didn't seem like you were. I'm just curious. What's disrespectful about it?
Bars are for 2 things.. drinking and picking up people for :reasons: We are married. we arent there for the second reason. If you wanna drink. do it at home. Its cheaper (you have a family to support) and you wont get a DUI (which teaches your children a little bit about responsibility and being a responsible adult and drinking.. they are teenagers) as well as respect for your spouse. There is NO reason I should be telling my children that "daddy is at the bar" There is beer in the fridge and if he needs somone to pour it/make it/serve it.. i can do all of those things. We have a Tv, and if he wants a pool table, we can get one of those. Our children will never know that a bar is more important than our family and my husband makes certain of it. They are 14 & almost 16 now and can not tell you ONE day that my husband spent in a bar. He drinks.. a lot! but has spent his days at home, enjoying his family.. cooking out, having fun & not worrying myself, his children or anyone else about driving home, worrying someone to come get him.. or any USELESS worrying... about things a woman shouldnt have to worry about. Ya know? :flowerforyou:
Mainly, its for the respect of my children, daughters. They will never grow up and allow their men to spend nights in a bar. They were taught properly... how to be treated by a man.
As far as this bar things goes. It is more for a social thing. He is out with our mutual friends, so I am not worried at all. I do see how staying home is respectful for your family. But since it's just me and him, and no children, it makes sense to go out and socialize with our friends. Especially since it is not warm enough to go and have a cookout or something like that.0 -
Bars are for 2 things.. drinking and picking up people for :reasons: We are married. we arent there for the second reason. If you wanna drink. do it at home. Its cheaper (you have a family to support) and you wont get a DUI (which teaches your children a little bit about responsibility and being a responsible adult and drinking.. they are teenagers) as well as respect for your spouse. There is NO reason I should be telling my children that "daddy is at the bar" There is beer in the fridge and if he needs somone to pour it/make it/serve it.. i can do all of those things. We have a Tv, and if he wants a pool table, we can get one of those. Our children will never know that a bar is more important than our family and my husband makes certain of it. They are 14 & almost 16 now and can not tell you ONE day that my husband spent in a bar. He drinks.. a lot! but has spent his days at home, enjoying his family.. cooking out, having fun & not worrying myself, his children or anyone else about driving home, worrying someone to come get him.. or any USELESS worrying... about things a woman shouldnt have to worry about. Ya know? :flowerforyou:
Mainly, its for the respect of my children, daughters. They will never grow up and allow their men to spend nights in a bar. They were taught properly... how to be treated by a man.
Makes sense. It may also depend on the bars in your area. On the infrequent occasions when my husband grabs a beer with his guy friends, I kind of see it as the same as when I grab a coffee with my pals. Cheaper at home but nice to get away now and then. I've gone out with friends to bars without him too, but not to be doing something I shouldn't be doing.
True. We live very rural.. so "going to a bar" consists of planning for a night out.. getting a driver, driving one to three hours, depending on where you decide to go... (if its a strip club.. youre looking at a 5 hour drive.. which by the way we have never gone to, just making a statement. lol) Hell, Walmart is 40 minutes away from home! Then you are looking at the hour at the least drive home AFTER consuming alcohol.. thats two hours away from the family JUST in driving time. So its just not worth it to us. We are just a farming / country community and we enjoy our family time. its how we raise our kids and spend our time. We go to the creek with our dogs.. get ice cream at the lake, go fishin, huntin, things like that. We are a slow paced kind of community. lol0 -
I appreciate all of the replies. For the "strict" diet and exercise plan.. I'll elaborate to help people understand. This is not a entire life plan. It is a ten week program that I signed up for. So yes, I will only have one day a week for 8 more weeks. I can choose whatever day I would like as my free day for the week, but since my class is at 5:30 on Saturday mornings, I decided that I will have my free day either on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what the plans are with my friends.
The average person with my weight to lose succeeds by losing between 15-40 lbs per ten weeks and learns skills to keep it off (or to continue losing) without being so limited to food and having such an extreme workout plan with the program I am in.I thought that my friends and family..and boyfriend would understand that this is a temporary process, and that I will be able to do a lot more right when summer hits!
Again, I appreciate all of the replies, it is very nice of you all to take the time to respond. Also, to the person that said that I "just want some attention." I am posting on here for help, this is why it is on the Motivation and Support section. I am sorry that you feel that way, but please, understand that I am looking for exactly what this section is meant for.
This helps us to understand a little more.. this is a program, not something you are doing long term. Have you explained to your friends its a short term process you are doing & you will be back to your old self in 10 weeks? and do you plan on doing that? You said you learned skills to keep it off, however unless you keep this exact process up, you wont "keep it up". Dieting and lifestyle changes are about some pretty basic things. One very basic thing is calories out versus calories in. You cannot do that unless you stick with the program, which wont continue after 10 weeks. I know its hard to undersand, but please read below:
Please check out this link and read it very carefully. Its about the best link on the web about losing weight. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/937712-in-place-of-a-road-map-ver-3-0
Thanks for the link! I'm going to bookmark it for future use as well. Yes, I realize that I will have to count my calories. The program teaches me new workouts and exercises, it also teaches me kickboxing moves to use at my local gym that I will be joining once my ten weeks is up. I have a plan to change from the carbs/proteins counting that Farrell's has us do to a overall count including calories and sodium after the ten weeks. At that point, I will no longer have a "free day" but I will be having equally healthy days, with room for extra beer calories when planned.0 -
Overall OP I think you're fine. It's temporary, your friends will gripe, but you'll end up fine. Look at it as like taking a really challenging college class that YOU are the only one taking and thus are the ONLY one who has to sleep early study late for etc. You'd get the same flack from friends but in the end you have to do what's good for you and it's only for a few weeks. Just stay strong within yourself you can do it for the short amount of time you need to.
The bar thing, I get it he's just a BF, they are all mutual friends and you are all young and single. You're right, he can party. Curious though have you picked his drunk a--s---s up yet?
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True. We live very rural.. so "going to a bar" consists of planning for a night out.. getting a driver, driving one to three hours, depending on where you decide to go... (if its a strip club.. youre looking at a 5 hour drive.. which by the way we have never gone to, just making a statement. lol) Hell, Walmart is 40 minutes away from home! Then you are looking at the hour at the least drive home AFTER consuming alcohol.. thats two hours away from the family JUST in driving time. So its just not worth it to us. We are just a farming / country community and we enjoy our family time. its how we raise our kids and spend our time. We go to the creek with our dogs.. get ice cream at the lake, go fishin, huntin, things like that. We are a slow paced kind of community. lol
:laugh:
Very different! If I felt like grabbing a drink on my way home (I don't, not a big drinker), I could think of 4 bars within 3 minutes walking distance from my job, and I work in the suburbs, not the "city" part of the city. It's nothing here for people to decide to grab a drink together after work and still be home to their families by 6:00 PM.0 -
You need to re-evaluate your surrounding environments.
If you're making a lifestyle change, then your life is going to change.
If you surround yourself with people who love to drink, party, etc. then that's where you will gravitate towards.
If you want to live fit, immerse yourself into the community and you'll start seeing your attitude change.
Then you won't be a big baby anymore! lol.0 -
Overall OP I think you're fine. It's temporary, your friends will gripe, but you'll end up fine. Look at it as like taking a really challenging college class that YOU are the only one taking and thus are the ONLY one who has to sleep early study late for etc. You'd get the same flack from friends but in the end you have to do what's good for you and it's only for a few weeks. Just stay strong within yourself you can do it for the short amount of time you need to.
The bar thing, I get it he's just a BF, they are all mutual friends and you are all young and single. You're right, he can party. Curious though have you picked his drunk a--s---s up yet?
Lol, Yes. I picked him up. I tried to talk to him on the way home, but he is too drunk to have a decent conversation with me... so I am now waiting until he gets passed his drunk-snoring stage before I go to bed. I'll give it about 10 more minutes before I can successfully go to bed.0 -
When you stop relying on others to acknowledge your accomplishments but reward yourself as you see them, this will no longer be such a depressing issue for you. They didnt cheer you on when you got unhealthy so why expect them to cheer you on when you get healthy. Other than that if self-congratulations isnt enough for you..........find new friends.
Best advice ever.0 -
Get some new friends. Not saying you need to drop these friends, but getting drunk, hanging in bars, etc. doesn't go with a healthy lifestyle and weight loss program, so you would be smart to develop new friends. For example, I quit smoking a long time ago and stayed away from people who smoked for 6 months because I knew I was weak and might be tempted. All these things are your choices. It's your life. Your BF knows you don't want to go to the bar on that day. Let him get himself home.0
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Overall OP I think you're fine. It's temporary, your friends will gripe, but you'll end up fine. Look at it as like taking a really challenging college class that YOU are the only one taking and thus are the ONLY one who has to sleep early study late for etc. You'd get the same flack from friends but in the end you have to do what's good for you and it's only for a few weeks. Just stay strong within yourself you can do it for the short amount of time you need to.
The bar thing, I get it he's just a BF, they are all mutual friends and you are all young and single. You're right, he can party. Curious though have you picked his drunk a--s---s up yet?
Lol, Yes. I picked him up. I tried to talk to him on the way home, but he is too drunk to have a decent conversation with me... so I am now waiting until he gets passed his drunk-snoring stage before I go to bed. I'll give it about 10 more minutes before I can successfully go to bed.
Gonna judge here: I don't and won't tolerate this level of drunken idiocy. Even when I was younger(in my early 20s and actually enjoyed being in bars late at night), I didn't go out and get stupid/falling down drunk. AND, I refused to take care of someone who got drunk.
I refuse to be responsible for someone else's irresponsible behavior. If they want to get drunk, take drugs, smoke, etc, that's their choice. It is MY choice not to tolerate the after effects of this behavior. And I don't. You did it, you fix it.0 -
I understand what you mean but it is just something you will have to deal with. Myself and my boyfriend work weekends nothing to do with losing weight but our friends and family nag us to come out every Friday and Saturday yet there is no way they will come out during the week on our days off because they have work the next day even though they work in offices get to sit with a hangover and have to be in work for 9am while both of us stand all day and deal with customers face to face and my boyfriend can start work at 4am. We used to do it but now we suit ourselves. Don't worry too much about them you keep doing what makes you happy
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When you stop relying on others to acknowledge your accomplishments but reward yourself as you see them, this will no longer be such a depressing issue for you. They didnt cheer you on when you got unhealthy so why expect them to cheer you on when you get healthy. Other than that if self-congratulations isnt enough for you..........find new friends.
I understand what you are saying... but I am not looking for them to congratulate me... I am simply just looking for them to be okay with the new choices I am making .
Why do they have to be okay with your life change? Obviously they could care less since you are the one at home and they are all living it up having a blast at the bar. I mean look at it through their eyes if you really want to know how they feel. For all you know they could be like....wow shes such a drag I hate this stupid life change she is doing it is totally ruining our friendship. I think you need to meet them halfway. Just because you think you cant partake in drinking and so on doesnt mean you cant participate in the activity of hanging out. It is all about priorities. You cant have it both ways.
THIS IS REDIC! They are HER FRIENDS!!!!! THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO SUPPORT HER! OF COURSE she wants SOME sort of support from them.. some sort of acknowledgement! She needs support and is quite fragile with this unsteady relationship between her and her weight! A simple "Hey, we understand.. you are doing great! We are here when you can be with us" Would have probably been all she needed at that point, instead of a "you are a drag!" I totally disagree with this post!
Friends dont have to coddle you because you decided to make a change that they may or may not agree with. Obviously they arent her friends. Like I stated in an earlier post....get new friends. I do know from experience though that if you totally turn your world upside down and dont make the effort to meet a "friend" halfway and it has to be your way or the highway by expecting everyone to stop their life because they know you cant drink on Friday......you arent a good friends. You dont have to drink to hang out, if you lack self control and are too selfish to just hang out because you HAVE to drink you are too selfish to have friends anyways.0
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