Little calorie saving tips

Options
Mutant13
Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
edited January 21 in Chit-Chat
I've stopped using toothpaste in case I get any extra calories in my mouth. My friends don't talk to me anymore. I think they are jealous of my weightloss.

My partner gave me a bottle of mouthwash as a 'gift'. He is obviously trying to sabotage me.

Share your tips!
«1

Replies

  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
    :laugh:

    i don't swallow my food now. i just chew it and spit it out. totes saves on calories!
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
    spit when you are chewing your food. Remnents of the food go with your saliva therefore reducing your overall calories. :wink:

    might annoy other people at the table though, especially at church functions.
  • Mrs_Wellington
    Mrs_Wellington Posts: 74
    dont bathe or shower either,the calories in those fruity shower gels etc are very high and absorbed immediately through the skin !
  • ContraryMaryMary
    ContraryMaryMary Posts: 1,940 Member
    When I walk past a cafe or restaurant I hold my breath and block my nose so I don't breathe in any calories that are floating in the air.
  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
    dont bathe or shower either,the calories in those fruity shower gels etc are very high and absorbed immediately through the skin !

    also, don't use conditioners that promise extra volume and body...that's asking to be fat!
  • ContraryMaryMary
    ContraryMaryMary Posts: 1,940 Member
    No perfume either - as you know perfume has alcohol in it which is not only fattening in itself but it also lowers your ability to resist eating.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Drinking WD40 helps the food slip through you before any calories can be absorbed
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
    OH yeah.....Eat poop. It is very high in nutrients and has a naturel tendency to keep you from going over on portion size.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Also check out this little logic bomb

    >become a vegetarian
    >eat meatballs
    >vegetarians don't eat meat
    >you're a vegetarian, and meatballs are meat
    > so technically you didn't eat anything = no calories!
  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
    Also check out this little logic bomb

    >become a vegetarian
    >eat meatballs
    >vegetarians don't eat meat
    >you're a vegetarian, and meatballs are meat
    > so technically you didn't eat anything = no calories!

    ooooh, yeah! and if you have them wrapped in bacon it's even better!
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    OH yeah.....Eat poop. It is very high in nutrients and has a naturel tendency to keep you from going over on portion size.

    Also it's made of stuff you already ate, so they don't count. Like double jeopardy
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Did you know that icy poles are a great low calorie dessert?
    I like to freeze a mixture of bacon grease and chocolate coated French fries in an icy pop mould, guilt free snack!
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
    OH yeah.....Eat poop. It is very high in nutrients and has a naturel tendency to keep you from going over on portion size.

    Also it's made of stuff you already ate, so they don't count. Like double jeopardy

    This sounds like a good weight loss idea. I am going to try it, be right back.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    :laugh:

    i don't swallow my food now. i just chew it and spit it out. totes saves on calories!
    Sadly this is a real thing people do.
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
    i am done now. Took a bit.
  • rudarbe
    rudarbe Posts: 164 Member
    I heard drinking cold water solidifies the oily stuff we eat, so I replaced cold water with cold soda.
  • ScottishMrs
    ScottishMrs Posts: 254 Member
    Lots of people skip the yolks when they eat their eggs, but I achieve my weightloss by also skipping the gooey part of the white and only eating the liquid part! HUUUUGE calorie save right there. Also, never get any of your calories from fats or carbs because those ones are turned into insta body fat. Protein is the only thing you should ever get calories from.
  • kennie2
    kennie2 Posts: 1,170 Member
    screw water. that has Aluminium, Fluoride, Chlorine and loads of other chemicals in. drink diet soda instead. it fills you up!
  • foxro
    foxro Posts: 793 Member
    When you go out for a run, bike or just anything don't breathe through your mouth, cause all the calories from bugs will add up, and for vegetarians totally turn you into a hypocrit.
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
    eat only these!


    Peanut-Butter-Cup-Stuffed-Oreos-1.jpg
  • Fitty_Cent
    Fitty_Cent Posts: 41 Member
    Whenever you order something at a restaurant, immediately ask for a takeout box.

    Then, eat the box.
  • lorieric5037
    lorieric5037 Posts: 97
    When you drink beer, laugh really hard and the beer will come out of your nose....saves a few calories!:drinker:
  • bethlaf
    bethlaf Posts: 954 Member
    only eat when you have the flu that way everything you eat immediately comes out one end or the other
    the rest of the time, drink only water..
  • weevil66
    weevil66 Posts: 600 Member
    If i eat a cake and then confess it on one of the mfp threads will it absolve me of the cals and carbs so they dont count
  • iecreamheadaches
    iecreamheadaches Posts: 441 Member
    If i eat a cake and then confess it on one of the mfp threads will it absolve me of the cals and carbs so they dont count

    yes, yes it does.
  • barkin43
    barkin43 Posts: 508 Member
    Eat standing up and always eat alone. Calories consumed standing up while no one sees you are not recognized by your body; therefore cannot cause weight gain.
  • icandowhateveriputmymindto
    icandowhateveriputmymindto Posts: 602 Member
    eat only these!


    Peanut-Butter-Cup-Stuffed-Oreos-1.jpg

    my mouth is watering..
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    eat only these!


    Peanut-Butter-Cup-Stuffed-Oreos-1.jpg

    my mouth is watering..

    I think this picture just got me pregnant
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
    glad I could be a part of that.
  • MrsBobaFett
    MrsBobaFett Posts: 802 Member
    eat only these!


    Peanut-Butter-Cup-Stuffed-Oreos-1.jpg

    What in the name of all beautiful things is this??? Me wanty!
This discussion has been closed.

Categories