Ever gotten mad at OTHER people's weight loss?

kassiebby1124

This probably sounds crazy. But have you ever gotten upset when other people lose weight while you're in the process of doing it? My friend/co worker has bad habits and I've convinced her to lose weight, but she weighs less than I do now anyway, plus she's taller so she will look better than I will when she loses weight because she carries it better. She's busty. I'm all butt and tummy. I'm in no way going to discourage her or anything, just makes me envious because she's going to look better than I will sooner than I will.

bumblebums

Nope. I learned a long time ago that one does not attain happiness by comparing oneself to others.

kassiebby1124

I've not yet learned how to do that.

Dulcemami4ever

I have never really felt that way. Because I know everyone has something that they don't like and do like about themselves. Feelings of jealousy are natural but don't let them be destructive. The minute you feel that, realize that you have positive things as well, accept that she will look nice and move on. Plus, you don't know how you will look after all the weight is gone!! Just keep positive and don't let petty feelings get in your way.

MadameLAL

The only time I have bad feelings about another person's success at weight loss is when there's obvious competition between us. Once I get that vibe, I stop sharing information about my progress. In many ways, I think keeping your fitness efforts and goals private can serve your interests best in the long run.

jafy23

i understand that. my sister and i were working out and dieting together. she was losing weight faster then me and i was working out 4 times a week and she went for a walk with the dog so i was getting angry because i was working so much harder and she was getting it paying off.

zyxst

Yes. It's why I don't have MFP friends.

dawnsjourney

I get more annoyed with folks who have been on this journey as long as I have, but have lost significantly more than I have. Makes me feel like a failure!

Sjenny5891

I just got a gym membership. There was one lady there who had a body to die for.
Envious? Yes, but I know if I get regular exercise I can do it too.

Pamko57

Years ago, I had to let go of envy. I realized it was wasted energy. I seriously, literally just stopped. But that was affairs of the heart. I had a man leave me, and it was let go or be eaten alive for nothing,

However, as I've gotten into my fifties, I've found jealousy rearing its ugly head. I struggle with wondering why, more than anything. why do I see people who aren't great people doing better financially? Why do the other grandparents get to see my grandkids more often? Why did the woman in my writing group who had never been a writer in her life decide to write a novel and knock it out of the park with the first thing she wrote. Seriously NY Times bestseller. Never written a word, and I've written for years. I'm good. I've won contests. I've sold short stories. I've paid dues!! I've honed my craft. I've attended workshops and taken notes. I've spent years at the computer and before that the typewriter.

All that said, I realized a while back that no matter what happens with this weight thing, I'm going to be a fat old lady. My arms are going to flab, even if I lose the the other fifty pounds I would love to lose. Even at 152, at 5'9," I'm going to be big. I'm not ever going to be petite, even though I'd be probably a size 8 at that weight.

I understand what you're saying. I do. It's aggravating. I've had some really difficult life situations. My mom was murdered, so I get a tug on my heart when I see moms and daughters laughing and having a good time. I have sons, so my grandkids are closer to their moms' families than they are me. We have friends and relatives who made better career and financial decisions than we did.

What I've learned and decided is to be very generous. To revel in other people's accomplishments and celebrate their joy. It's not a competition. The first step is accepting yourself--who you are and what you are in the spot you are in.

Hard to do, but ultimately better for all around.

Ramberta

Nope. I learned a long time ago that one does not attain happiness by comparing oneself to others.

^This. However, I will admit that not only did that take me about 23 years to learn that lesson (I'm 25), but I still find myself obsessing about what people think of me about certain things. Mostly these days it's not even weight-related, but it's an easy trap to fall into. But once you realize that it just doesn't matter, that people judge everyone else on this planet but their opinions will almost certainly never come to light because you'll never know them, then you will stop caring and start living for yourself.

It's natural to feel jealous of other people's success. But if anything, let that inspire a competitive, ambitious streak in you, to better yourself so that you will feel more confident. Good luck!

billsica

Yes. I just can' stand it. I mean this is MY journey. I bring in doughnuts and make "double butter cookies" and bring it into work all the time. They can just suck on that. I usually end up eating to many of them though and it backfires.
Monday morning I'm bringing in my "low cal" butter cream topped brownie cake. It has like 6 eggs in it, I don't even know how much sugar. God bless! :flowerforyou:

SilverLotusGirl

I've not yet learned how to do that.

I hope you do soon. It'll make the journey so much better for you. Comparisons are never really healthy, especially if you and she have two very different body types. Wish her the best but focus on your own progress and your habits and let the anger go.

ktsmom430

Not really mad, but envious.
Sometimes it is hard to accept that we are different, and it seems unfair, especially when we are working so hard at it, and for others it seems to come easier for them.

willnevergiveup

Sometimes if feels like it's just not fair. I'm short (5'4"), older (63) and female. All of those things work against me. But then I know tall, young men who weight too much and aren't doing anything about it. I am doing something about my weight because I'm also determined. Hang in there!

juleskitcat

64 lbs lost means you are NO FAILURE! congrats - that's a LOT of hard work and dedication!

jennifer_417

I definitely have at times.

AmandaBiggs09

I know how you feel. I keep trying to get my little sister to exercise with me, but at the same time I'm happy she doesn't. She has a lot less to lose and I have always been the "fat sister" it would be so awesome for it to be the other way around. I would be sooo jealous if she got in shape and I was stuck with the "fat sister" title forever.

froeschli

I don't get jealous of peoples weight loss, only of their looks. but i'm usually more envious of people who have a bubbly personality, not matter what they look like, because that's something i'll never be.

i get mad at "diet tyrants" - you know, those who know it all and tell you how to eat and live, no matter how stupid the plan sounds to you... and they go on and on and on about it... and then a few weeks later its the same tirades, just a different regimen....

nicarey19

I get more annoyed with folks who have been on this journey as long as I have, but have lost significantly more than I have. Makes me feel like a failure!

^ Me too. Also before I started losing weight, I had a friend who lost weight. And I was very jealous of her. I wanted to lose weight too. So I finally got tired of feeling like that and started losing weight. But now I feel like if someone loses more than me in the same amount of time I am doing something wrong. I know everyone is different, but it is hard not to compare yourself to others And on a side note. I feel guilty for losing weight when I am around friends who are also trying and I have lost more. I know sounds weird, but it is the truth.

Deipneus

I'm in no way going to discourage her or anything, just makes me envious because she's going to look better than I will sooner than I will.

Kudos to you. First you encouraged her to begin and now are dealing with your own negative feelings about her success. Since you haven't said anything, you haven't done any harm, you've only done her good by encouraging her.

I've never had that particular problem, but we all have our inner demons. Mine are just different from yours. Good luck.

PS Congratulations on losing 59 pounds! You're pretty awesome at this yourself!

Linkdapink

Oh yes... I am very competitive, but if I'm losing I just stop.

I'm pretty sure that's why my OH weighs himself in kilos and I weigh myself in lbs - so its harder to compare and we can celebrate our successes seperately!

MelsAuntie

NO!. Why would other people's success bother me? They aren't responsible for my actions, nobody is except me. I sometimes find it inspiring.

kassiebby1124

Thanks everyone. I need to figure out how to not let other's appearances affect me..

kfit42

Yes, I have and it's tough to stop the jealousy. I have been struggling with my weight my whole life and a really good friend of mine and I started walking together a few years back, one night she started bragging about how she already lost five pounds and we had only walked five times and she said that she was still eating the same. I felt like the biggest loser (not a weight loser) but a loser loser on earth. I just went to bed crying, why couldn't I do that? But I realized later (years later), her metabolism rocks and mine does not. That's why she could do that, not me. I have a different body than she does, my body requires different things and even though it was tough to come to terms with that because I really want her metabolism, once I realized this, the jealousy eased up a tad. Don't feel bad about any progress you make and don't compare yourself to others...they have a different body not a better body.

jessvaughn74

The weight loss number itself does not bother me. The fact that I have not gone done any clothes sizes and i see others who have lost 20lbs and gone down 2 dress sizes. Soo frustrating at times! But I have been working through that insecurity, just tough at times.

k8eekins

This probably sounds crazy. But have you ever gotten upset when other people lose weight while you're in the process of doing it? My friend/co worker has bad habits and I've convinced her to lose weight, but she weighs less than I do now anyway, plus she's taller so she will look better than I will when she loses weight because she carries it better. She's busty. I'm all butt and tummy. I'm in no way going to discourage her or anything, just makes me envious because she's going to look better than I will sooner than I will.

I've never ever been affected by anyone to the extent of exuding anger (and frustration) when it's about the body ~ fitness wise. I've experienced both sides of the spectrum from my one and only critic for example. At my largest (for the 1st time in my life ~ lasted for about 3 years), she'd label me "Billboard Sign Post." And she's a size 16W. At my current smallest size (under 120 lb and around size 0 to 4 depending on the brand and country) ~ The labels are "Skinny," "Skeleton," and "Eating Disorder," meanwhile I have a healthy appetite (and am far from looking emaciated just as I was never a Sign Post for my fat distribution didn't make me look odd and at my largest ~ I still wore my regular size 12s only with a tighter fit) , eating more than she does, comparatively to how she restricts ~ hence how large she is I suspect as a result of her dishonest eating and the failure to lose weight. She'd always minded my figure, so when I got huge ~ she was in party mode for the recurring onslaughts. My point to you is ~ you can not allow somebody else's progress or digression or maintenance to determine and affect your drive, your cycle, your pattern, your plan and your goals ~ your ultimate goal.

This is a journey that has to be executed with a conscious sense of self ~ to be all about you NEVER what is ideally-suited for someone else or how they're doing with their programme.

Think about it. The potential of where and how far you can direct your body by design (eating plan + workout routines + lifestyle discipline ) is custom ~ all about you ~ for you ~ to accommodate you!!!

Being angry about someone else's body's performance/result is detrimental to you <~ cortisol bad fat's BFF <~ self-sabotage.

You've done very well for yourself for having effectively managed your fat weight reduction journey to where you are today which isn't all too easy a feat at 5 ft 4. It would be more beneficial if your direction is focussed on (i) Your Measurements, (ii) Your Body Fat Percentage, (iii) Your state of health (Your energy levels & how you manage your energy ~ accumulated, stored and spent energy), (v) Determine and own your sense(s) of self-motivation removed from the binds of discouragement for being magnetised to risk subsequent implosions for resorting to placing yourself in a position from having to compare yourself to anyone else.

Edited: Typo

Cr01502

What if she stalls out or falls off the wagon?

This.

In fact I usually ensure that she does.

bumblebums

Thanks everyone. I need to figure out how to not let other's appearances affect me..

I practiced yoga for years, and a good, old-school teacher will usually spend some time in class talking about this issue. Everyone has a different body, with different levels of flexibility and strength. Worrying about someone else's ability to touch her toes does not get you any closer to touching yours--in fact, if you get competitive in yoga, you are much more likely to get injured. The same applies to other things in life. Worrying about other people's appearance is a waste of emotional energy, and I don't even think it burns calories

honey_bee_keysha

Nope. I learned a long time ago that one does not attain happiness by comparing oneself to others.

This^

bluefox9er

This probably sounds crazy. But have you ever gotten upset when other people lose weight while you're in the process of doing it? My friend/co worker has bad habits and I've convinced her to lose weight, but she weighs less than I do now anyway, plus she's taller so she will look better than I will when she loses weight because she carries it better. She's busty. I'm all butt and tummy. I'm in no way going to discourage her or anything, just makes me envious because she's going to look better than I will sooner than I will.

No. why should I get mad?

I LOVE seeing posts from my friends who are looking to lose weight and have worked hard to do so..I find it incredibly inspiring rather than something that would make me mad.