Ever gotten mad at OTHER people's weight loss?

kassiebby1124

This probably sounds crazy. But have you ever gotten upset when other people lose weight while you're in the process of doing it? My friend/co worker has bad habits and I've convinced her to lose weight, but she weighs less than I do now anyway, plus she's taller so she will look better than I will when she loses weight because she carries it better. She's busty. I'm all butt and tummy. I'm in no way going to discourage her or anything, just makes me envious because she's going to look better than I will sooner than I will.

bumblebums

Nope. I learned a long time ago that one does not attain happiness by comparing oneself to others.

kassiebby1124

I've not yet learned how to do that.

Dulcemami4ever

I have never really felt that way. Because I know everyone has something that they don't like and do like about themselves. Feelings of jealousy are natural but don't let them be destructive. The minute you feel that, realize that you have positive things as well, accept that she will look nice and move on. Plus, you don't know how you will look after all the weight is gone!! Just keep positive and don't let petty feelings get in your way.

MadameLAL

The only time I have bad feelings about another person's success at weight loss is when there's obvious competition between us. Once I get that vibe, I stop sharing information about my progress. In many ways, I think keeping your fitness efforts and goals private can serve your interests best in the long run.

jafy23

i understand that. my sister and i were working out and dieting together. she was losing weight faster then me and i was working out 4 times a week and she went for a walk with the dog so i was getting angry because i was working so much harder and she was getting it paying off.

zyxst

Yes. It's why I don't have MFP friends.

dawnsjourney

I get more annoyed with folks who have been on this journey as long as I have, but have lost significantly more than I have. Makes me feel like a failure!

Sjenny5891

I just got a gym membership. There was one lady there who had a body to die for.
Envious? Yes, but I know if I get regular exercise I can do it too.

Pamko57

Years ago, I had to let go of envy. I realized it was wasted energy. I seriously, literally just stopped. But that was affairs of the heart. I had a man leave me, and it was let go or be eaten alive for nothing,

However, as I've gotten into my fifties, I've found jealousy rearing its ugly head. I struggle with wondering why, more than anything. why do I see people who aren't great people doing better financially? Why do the other grandparents get to see my grandkids more often? Why did the woman in my writing group who had never been a writer in her life decide to write a novel and knock it out of the park with the first thing she wrote. Seriously NY Times bestseller. Never written a word, and I've written for years. I'm good. I've won contests. I've sold short stories. I've paid dues!! I've honed my craft. I've attended workshops and taken notes. I've spent years at the computer and before that the typewriter.

All that said, I realized a while back that no matter what happens with this weight thing, I'm going to be a fat old lady. My arms are going to flab, even if I lose the the other fifty pounds I would love to lose. Even at 152, at 5'9," I'm going to be big. I'm not ever going to be petite, even though I'd be probably a size 8 at that weight.

I understand what you're saying. I do. It's aggravating. I've had some really difficult life situations. My mom was murdered, so I get a tug on my heart when I see moms and daughters laughing and having a good time. I have sons, so my grandkids are closer to their moms' families than they are me. We have friends and relatives who made better career and financial decisions than we did.

What I've learned and decided is to be very generous. To revel in other people's accomplishments and celebrate their joy. It's not a competition. The first step is accepting yourself--who you are and what you are in the spot you are in.

Hard to do, but ultimately better for all around.

Ramberta

Nope. I learned a long time ago that one does not attain happiness by comparing oneself to others.

^This. However, I will admit that not only did that take me about 23 years to learn that lesson (I'm 25), but I still find myself obsessing about what people think of me about certain things. Mostly these days it's not even weight-related, but it's an easy trap to fall into. But once you realize that it just doesn't matter, that people judge everyone else on this planet but their opinions will almost certainly never come to light because you'll never know them, then you will stop caring and start living for yourself.

It's natural to feel jealous of other people's success. But if anything, let that inspire a competitive, ambitious streak in you, to better yourself so that you will feel more confident. Good luck!

billsica

Yes. I just can' stand it. I mean this is MY journey. I bring in doughnuts and make "double butter cookies" and bring it into work all the time. They can just suck on that. I usually end up eating to many of them though and it backfires.
Monday morning I'm bringing in my "low cal" butter cream topped brownie cake. It has like 6 eggs in it, I don't even know how much sugar. God bless! :flowerforyou:

SilverLotusGirl

I've not yet learned how to do that.

I hope you do soon. It'll make the journey so much better for you. Comparisons are never really healthy, especially if you and she have two very different body types. Wish her the best but focus on your own progress and your habits and let the anger go.

ktsmom430

Not really mad, but envious.
Sometimes it is hard to accept that we are different, and it seems unfair, especially when we are working so hard at it, and for others it seems to come easier for them.

willnevergiveup

Sometimes if feels like it's just not fair. I'm short (5'4"), older (63) and female. All of those things work against me. But then I know tall, young men who weight too much and aren't doing anything about it. I am doing something about my weight because I'm also determined. Hang in there!

juleskitcat

64 lbs lost means you are NO FAILURE! congrats - that's a LOT of hard work and dedication!

jennifer_417

I definitely have at times.

AmandaBiggs09

I know how you feel. I keep trying to get my little sister to exercise with me, but at the same time I'm happy she doesn't. She has a lot less to lose and I have always been the "fat sister" it would be so awesome for it to be the other way around. I would be sooo jealous if she got in shape and I was stuck with the "fat sister" title forever.

froeschli

I don't get jealous of peoples weight loss, only of their looks. but i'm usually more envious of people who have a bubbly personality, not matter what they look like, because that's something i'll never be.

i get mad at "diet tyrants" - you know, those who know it all and tell you how to eat and live, no matter how stupid the plan sounds to you... and they go on and on and on about it... and then a few weeks later its the same tirades, just a different regimen....

nicarey19

I get more annoyed with folks who have been on this journey as long as I have, but have lost significantly more than I have. Makes me feel like a failure!

^ Me too. Also before I started losing weight, I had a friend who lost weight. And I was very jealous of her. I wanted to lose weight too. So I finally got tired of feeling like that and started losing weight. But now I feel like if someone loses more than me in the same amount of time I am doing something wrong. I know everyone is different, but it is hard not to compare yourself to others And on a side note. I feel guilty for losing weight when I am around friends who are also trying and I have lost more. I know sounds weird, but it is the truth.

Deipneus

I'm in no way going to discourage her or anything, just makes me envious because she's going to look better than I will sooner than I will.

Kudos to you. First you encouraged her to begin and now are dealing with your own negative feelings about her success. Since you haven't said anything, you haven't done any harm, you've only done her good by encouraging her.

I've never had that particular problem, but we all have our inner demons. Mine are just different from yours. Good luck.

PS Congratulations on losing 59 pounds! You're pretty awesome at this yourself!