If you USED TO be Vegan-- help needed!

lilmissymoo90

im vegan i actually loved the forks over knifes documentary especially when they compared kenya to Britain and usa .. i live in kenya but come from the uk.

my hubby actually joined me as a vegan for health reasons we dont eat anything processed .. all our food is cooked from scratch using the best ingredients and ive more energy

i dont understand someone wanting to be vegan for health reasons yet consuming all the processed crap i could say im vegan and eat chips night after night !

i would refuse to cook him his meals let him do it himself i myself use to cook meat for my hubby but the food he got was healthy not processed . i would make him curry and separate it before adding meat so i had a vegan option he had chicken ect in his.

mla22690

Try not to be so hard on him--- he is at least somewhat health conscious even if his diet inst perfect. I definitely can understand why you are frustrated though. As a former vegan, it is very hard to do at first when you havent found a lot of foods you know how to prepare and sometimes you just cave if you are hungry and there is other food already cooked. I have adopted a sort of Mediterranean Diet and I feel great. I eat organic eggs, yogurt and cheese. A lot of fish, fruits and veggies. Perhaps you can convince him of this--its a little easier to have nutrition. Also, he might be more willing to eat or put up less of a fight if you buy organic. It might cost more but its his decision to be healthy so he should want that for you and the rest of the family

As a side note, I can handle a little bit of organic chicken occasionally, but I dont think I could ever eat a bite of a hamburger or finish a steak again...but if you cooked that , he can always eat the sides and grill his own fish or something....I hope you figure something out!

stargazer008

I used to be a vegetarian and was also vegan for quite some time.

What made me change was that I really had no reason for doing it. I don't have strong emotions towards animals except for cats. The health benefits of veganism was quite alluring to me. Though, I don't believe veganism is healthy anymore. You need to constantly supplement your body with b12 vitamins, iron, and other nutrients since many plant foods have little of these nutrients. Iron from meat is better absorbed from meat than plants. As well, I found myself eating too many processed vegan foods like faux meat which is very unhealthy since they are usually fortified with synthetic vitamins and minerals, gmo soy, and more. As well, what is the point in labeling yourself like that? There's all these words; lacto ovo, ovo, vegan, pecestarian, etc. Why label yourself?

cacleghorn

Oh my goodness. I'm sorry. This sounds like a huge pain, and it isn't fair to you.

One way to approach this is by not bringing his veganism--or lack thereof, or whatever--into the picture at all.
Try to focus on telling him that your needs aren't being met in the relationship. Because, really, you're not upset that he's vegan.
You're upset that he's not taking care of himself, that he cheats and lies about being vegan, that he puts you down by trying to hold his diet as superior than yours, and that y'all aren't getting to spend the time together that you used to when you were active together (and he wasn't sleeping all the time).
If he was respecting your dietary choices, was eating healthy and was happy and energic, you probably wouldn't mind too much about making separate meals--or cooking beans and meat separately, etc--even if it was a hassle.

Personally, I am a vegetarian who has been transitioning to veganism for the last year, and I could not be talked into thinking that part of my diet was unhealthy for me, even if it was my partner telling me that. So, I would suggest just dealing with the fact that his veganism/non-veganism/whatever might last the rest of his life, and targeting the real unhealthy habits. Let him know you're not feeling close to him, and let him know every day, and try to get y'all's communication back up to speed. Then start phasing in dietary changes.

Here's some other ideas:
I don't know how much fresh fruit you keep in the house, but that could be a simple way to empower him to make better breakfast choices. And instead of buying processed frankens*** (haha, I love that), perhaps you could make something high protein in batch, that's easy to freeze, like soups or chilis, that he could grab and microwave himself. If he's not up to working out, maybe just asking him to take walks with you or even just step outside with you could help make him feel a bit more mentally ready to start exercising again.
You sound like you have a lot of power with groceries, so you could just stop buying the caffeine and the chips. Of course he can go out and get his own, but at least then he's not taking it for granted that it's just food in the house.
If you feel like you're eating too many carbs, like rice or pasta, just stop buying them regularly. You can eat a meat or egg protein source, he can eat a bean protein source, and then y'all can share a vegetable stir fry. Flax seeds and pumpkin seeds are relatively cheap, compared to nuts, if you want to see him eating more protein; broccoli is a powerhouse for calcium and vitamins; and spinach/kale/arugula is great for iron; non-dairy milks are good for B12 and omega 3 fatty acids. Don't try to make food eating a science, though; at first, just try to get in more of the foods he is missing out on, because any iron in a day is far better than none.
Vegans need to eat vegetables. But if he's eating right, eating enough, and breaks his caffeine cycle, his low energy should change without absolutely having to stop being vegan.
Tell him you feel like if y'all (meaning he, but don't use words that make him feel attacked) eat better, y'all will feel closer and have more energy.
Say, "I feel," instead you, "You are."
Or get him to watch another documentary on processed foods or the importance of sleep, hahaha.

_ting_

I also used to be a vegetarian, then a vegan.

You (the OP) asked what made me change back to being an omnivore? Or how to change your husband back to being an omnivore?

Well, I was similar to your husband in that I became a vegetarian and then a vegan because it was the socially responsible ( read cool within my friend group) thing to do. It wasn't hard- I didn't enjoy eating meat. The switch to vegan was tougher - I love cheese. I was the worst kind of vegan, regular day was cereal for breakfast, large coffee & oversized muffin, samosas for lunch and falafel in pita for dinner. Hated beans, salads &veggies, loved fruit (10-15 servings a day).

I also played the superiority card, willing to debate with anyone about the cruelty of eating meat.

What did me in was how poor my diet was, my lack of energy and new friends. When going out with friends that ate meat, I would get jealous of their choices and end up begging some meat off them. They knew my downfalls were cheese &dairy (think alfredo sauce) and bacon. New friends also weren't impressed by my vegan diet.

I think you should continue to cook, just cook meals for yourself that you think he will be tempted by. If he eats them don't call him out on it. He's smart enough to know that he can't keep claiming to be vegan if he eats eggs, dairy, meat.

You could also start reading books on healthy diets and leave them around the house. My husband always checks what I'm reading, maybe yours will get caught up in a different cause.