why do ppl have to be so hurtful

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kegger1997
kegger1997 Posts: 74
in Motivation and Support
i am an avid scrapbooker and this weekend was an overnight crop. i made sure to plan meals ahead and made extras to share. one person asked what i made and the rest commented, "she thinks she is on a diet cuz she thinks shes fat" i will admit, i am not as big as some of them but i WANT to take care of myself and wanted to make sure to not binge on the chocolate and other junk food provided to us for meals aka fried chicken and mashed potatoes and potato chips and such. all day they comented that i am too skinny. i am an uncomfortable 154lb at 5'5". married at 95lb. after 3 kids have some serious flab and leftover skin. i am very self concious about my body. i need to find some friends to support me and not drag me down and sneer about my life style...after all i am not dieting, i am making healthier choices. i do not paln to get to 95, 125 is my goal but c'mon, why am i bad because i choose to eat smart?

Replies

  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
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    About the third time they comment you say, "you know, that was funny the first couple of times. But now you need to drop it!", and be forceful. Most folks (that aren't looking for trouble) will drop it. I was "on location" at work, when everyone else was eating the fast food, pizza, etc. provided on site. I brought my own fresh fruit, vegetables and lean meat. I made comment concerning my need for a "special" diet. After that, no one said much. Nice!
  • Sodapop425
    Sodapop425 Posts: 1
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    don't let anyone else get you down. I am 5'5" 149.5 pounds. I do the same exact thing I had to go out of town to visit family for a week and I brought food to help keep me on track. No one said anything, but I just wanted to know that I was keeping up with how I wanted to look and feel by the time summer comes along. They are probably just jealous and don't know how to be supportive of others, so to make themselves feel good they just bashed on you because they aren't taking control of their own eating habits.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    You don't need to apologize for your healthy goals. Some people won't be happy for you for not wanting to be like them.
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
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    F those losers. Women, (I have noticed) are the WORST haters when they notice you are losing weight. At work all the women made stupid comments about me (a man) as I lost weight. Like what my "secret" was...why I wanted to keep losing weight if I was already "skinny".
    You do need to find like minded individuals with which to spend time with.
  • KtotheD78
    KtotheD78 Posts: 58 Member
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    I feel ya. People tell me that I don't need to lose weight. It's not just about wanting to shed the last 10 pounds. I FEEL better when I eat better, too!
  • Skrib69
    Skrib69 Posts: 687 Member
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    Herd mentality is a horrible thing when you start to stand out from the crowd. Your colleagues may be happy with the way they are, but you clearly are not. I find that sometimes people need this pointing out to them a bit more forcefully! I wouldnt be afraid of making the point!
  • Gangwolf
    Gangwolf Posts: 40
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    Whenever people make a major lifestyle change, they instantly discover who is really in their corner and who is not. You see, people who are overweight or drink heavily or do drugs etc. etc. generally hang with their own "kind." Once one of them decides to lose weight, quit drinking, stop smoking dope, etc., the others often feel threatened, or worse, they feel as if you think you are "too good" for them. Admittedly some of this is caused by people being "born again" and starting to get preachy about food, drinking, drugs, and so on; but a lot of it is just jealousy. If we're both 50 lbs overweight, well, misery loves company; plus, neither one of us stands out. If I'm 50 lbs overweight and you're in shape...I'm suddenly very conscious of those facts. Plus, let's face it, if our principal activity was eating McDonald's while watching TV, and now you want to eat carrots and go running, it's gonna put a strain on our friendship.

    True friends will always support you in your goals, provided they understand what the goals are and don't think they're harmful. And, of course, provided they don't think you're abandoning them. Fake friends will only support anything that helps make their own bad choices look normal.
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
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    we now live in a society where most people are fat and insecure and it is becoming more acceptable to be that way so when someone changes and loses the weight and is looking and feeling great then others feel the need to try to bring them down, just ignore them and keep doing what you are doing. You will find that your friends are going to change as you drop the pounds as in some are going to leave and new ones will come into your life.
  • kegger1997
    kegger1997 Posts: 74
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    thank you guys for the support. i am so thankful i am a part of this group.
  • SenseiCole
    SenseiCole Posts: 429 Member
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    Quotes

    "Take charge. Write your own story."

    "If you did have a million-dollar racehorse, would you let him stay up half the night drinking coffee and booze, smoking cigarettes and eating junk food?" Next question: "Would you treat a 10-dollar dog or a 5-dollar cat that way? What about a billion-dollar body?"

    don't listern to other.......


    keep you chin and good on you for talking care of your body
  • WilliamsPeggy
    WilliamsPeggy Posts: 440 Member
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    Sorry. I'll be your friend. :flowerforyou:
  • stephaniemejia1671
    stephaniemejia1671 Posts: 482 Member
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    People don't like change. Some of them anyway. It's hard for someone to understand why you are making a lifestyle change when to them "you're fine the way you are." It's easy to stay the same. It takes courage, dedication and hard work to change yourself/lifestyle. People will make smart comments regardless of what you do. Keep up the good work, don't look back.
  • JeneticTraining
    JeneticTraining Posts: 663 Member
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    Maybe because they are hurting themselves.

    Glad YOU are making a great lifestyle change. But, hey if you ever need any support or motivation; advice! Anything!

    I'm here for ya!

    -Jen
  • hoodie17
    hoodie17 Posts: 2
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    People say things like that because they are jealous and uncomfortable with themselves so it makes them feel better to attack someone else. Do whatever makes you happy and think of it as a compliment, while everyone is eating fatty foods you managed to stay on track with your goals :)
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
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    I wish I knew why people were like that. I get it too, and I have ever since I first lost a little bit of weight so I was down to 170 or so. People just *hate* the fact that others are trying to be healthy and lose weight, and instead of using it as motivation to better themselves, they try to lash out at the healthy person trying to bring them down to their level.

    Of course, now what I am getting from people is that whole spiel about how "you don't need to lose anymore weight or you will blow away in the breeze" or whatever. I have goals, and I have not yet met them. I eat close to 1800 calories a day, so I'm definitely not starving. Some people are just too unhappy with themselves to celebrate healthy choices and successes with others.
  • kegger1997
    kegger1997 Posts: 74
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    again, thank you everyone. you have no idea how hard it was to not eat the fried chicken. I LOVE ME SOME FRIED CHICKEN. and i chose not to leave just because they were eating it. i am in no way starving. i am actually very suprised myself that i did not eat that. i kept telling myself that one would not kill me but the the cleanse i did before i started would have been for not. i cannot say thank you enough for lifting me out of my guilt phase. hoping to not go there again.
  • lambchoplewis
    lambchoplewis Posts: 797
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    I started eating what I want even at other peoples houses. I always "bring" something healthy. I also spend X-mas and T'giving at parents and in-laws and went out and bought food for myself. I took the protein they made (turkey or whatever) and added it to a huge salad and veggies. At first, it was slightly questioned but after I stuck to it for the time I was there, they quite harping at me!!!

    After I lost weight, my mom kept telling me "you are too thin" over and over one day at a store while we were shopping. I finally said "Enough, I heard you and you are now being rude"!!! That shut her up!!!

    Friends are jealous that you succeeded and if they are trying to lose weight, they are failing and failure loves company!!!

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