why do guys hate being picked-up?

13»

Replies

  • BleedsCoffee
    BleedsCoffee Posts: 247 Member
    It's an instinctive response - - being off of the ground means I can't use any leverage or control my spatial orientation, my mass, or my inertia, which means that I can't control my body. That makes me want to physically injure the person in a brutal way, until I'm back in control of my body. If it's someone I care about picking me up, I don't like being put in the position of wanting to seriously hurt them, so I would ask that they refrain.

    This! My instant reaction is to punch someone who is picking me up in the crotch. My boyfriend tends to maul me a little bit (and used to pick me up under the arms because I'd go all limp like a sock monkey, which he found adorable) and I've had to train him to not do it... mostly because I don't want to damage the goods.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Who are these men? I would LOVE to be picked up. I feel sad knowing that no woman in my adult life have picked me up :(

    Taunto, my friend, I get picked up regularly - however, in 95%+ of the time it is a "business proposition" given that I spend a lot if time in hotels in countries where prostitution is legal. I'm not interested in that (but intrigued, I have had a few coffees on a slow night with a Parisian housewife rounding out her end of the month).

    The other <5% are clear and direct (and usually related to the activity of "hashing" - hint, hint) but since I'm taken, I try to nicely apologize. Hashing is a great sport. :drinker: try it.
  • SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish
    SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish Posts: 831 Member
    I don't think its a female/male issue at all. Not many people enjoy unasked for/surprise physical contact of any kind. Guys don't tend to like being picked up that way, because its a control issue, as you play around growing up, usually the person is being aggressive if he's going to try to pick you up and its usually going to be against what a guy wants to project as his image to allow it and/or bring up sexuality issues. Then, and probably most importantly, there is the threat level: you do not want to let someone surprise pick you up and put you in a vulnerable position, martial arts training trains to resist/not to allow that as well, and if you get someone like this, someone gets hurt. Guy picking up a guy is going to be a physical power issue and you trigger that by a "surprise pick up". Guys doing that in a game with teammates is different, that's an acceptable arena to do it in for most guys (also for some, the only "acceptable" guy on guy "hug").

    After you enter your after college life, you wouldn't normally expect someone to try, and its more a question of being made to look a fool/unprofessional. Plus its uncomfortable/messes up your clothes and hair, knocks off glasses if you have them, and the question of can they really pick me up and not drop me (yeah this is me, I'm heavier than I look)?

    Now, all that being said, I'd prefer a girl to pick me up if I had to let someone (and loved it for the other kind of pickup of course -- don't know what you are talking about there!). And if someone tried this and I realized they were female I'd be much more likely to just allow them to try...so all in all, I really don't think "girl picking up guy" is the right issue here, you probably get a better reaction than some guy trying it. You just aren't a guy so don't know the difference: if you were, your brother might punch you to stop you instead.

    Also, remembering that kinda stuff in high school... I remember even then, though guys tolerated it, we didn't really LIKE being the subject of it. So, when I was pretty hyped up, what I shifted to doing instead is pick up one end of cars...now why some people didn't like that (barring safety) I think was more of a puzzling question! Ahhhh, memories of moving the PE coaches' car to the middle of the competition field...one of the fun things in high school... :)
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    Because I'm 6'2" of a solid 268lbs and I WILL throw your back out. I'm going to need that back to remain good for "extracurricular activities."
    Pretty much this. I'm 6'3 and just under 300 lbs. If she can pick me up without throwing out her back, I am impressed.
    Who are these men? I would LOVE to be picked up. I feel sad knowing that no woman in my adult life have picked me up :(

    Also this.
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    I was tall, for a girl, until I was 12, so I was used to picking up other people (literal sense),and it took a while to get used to being the one picked up. I can imagine a man would find it equally strange.

    As for the other type of picking up, normally mutual flirtation has turned into more, so who picked up who? With my husband, apparently, I bought him a lot of drinks, we chatted, we kissed. Who 'picked up' who? Do you usually get 'picked up'? I think this may be just me, or it may be a cultural difference. I've only 'been on a date' once too (bad, bad date: talking about Freud all the time :yawn:).
  • placeboaddiction
    placeboaddiction Posts: 451 Member
    I don't?

    I love being picked up.. as weird as that sounds. Reminds me I've lost weight and that I am light enough people can pick me up. :)

    With girls trying to pick up me.. well... I'd never get laid if girls didn't pick me up. I'm an introvert. I'm in my head. I don't do well with small talk... So girls have always had to pick me up. I mean its not extreme, i've hit on a few girls...

Categories