Need support & advice

Jennwith2ns

How do you overcome the times when you tell yourself "I don't care if I'm fat, I just want to be happy and eat what I want". Every time I try this, it is because I am sick of how I feel. Sick of the nasty crap I put in my body. Sick of the way my image makes me feel, and how uncomfortable I feel in public. BUT when I am having a bad day, or a craving or at a party, I tell myself I would rather eat what I want and be happy. But I'm not REALLY happier, I just tell myself I am.

MAJOR emotional overeater. Does anyone have tips on how to conquer these types of feelings?

I have lost weight before. I lost about 65 lbs a few years ago. Honestly I don't even know how I did it! Life was a little crazy at the time, so I think once I got past the first 25 lbs lost, I figured I mine as well keep doing it. But then life happens, and I gained it all back.

This is probably the 10th time I have attempted MFP again. I know how to do it, nutrition/fitness wise. I KNOW I can lose weight. But I can't force my mind to join the bandwagon and stop the excuses!

Jennwith2ns

Oh and these 12 lbs lost are from last time, I just didn't gain much back since then!

jennjayne

hey jenn.. i was the same way. However this time when i am trying to lose the weight. I don't think about how I want to lose weight. I think about how I want to make myself healthier. And after I go to the gym I feel great and I think about how I feel after when I take a shower. I try not to focus on my weight.
When you want to eat something drink water or do something else, like clean up your place. Try not to watch too much tv, because for me that is when I was a emotional eater. Be confident that you can do it. Don't think about your failed attempts YOU MUST get passed that.
If you feel you need to eat have something healthy; crispy mini rice cakes

Hope that helps, (btw my name is Jenn with two n's as well!)

VballLeash

I think you need to focus more on the getting healthy part. Since you know how to do it since you've done it before, you must have felt better before. Don't just focus on how you look and how many pounds you lose but focus on how you feel and getting healthy... it has to be a lifestyle change... so its ok to indulge sometimes as long as its within reason but think about how you feel when you do it too much, physically. I know I feel sick when I eat a lot of sugar or something to that extent... don't give up you can do this!

~Leash

MyDream

I've definitly been there. As a matter of fact when I first started MFP (about a year ago), I gave up after a week, just b/c I had the same feelings as you. Three weeks ago, I came back to MFP, only this time, it's more about my wanting to be healthy and good to myself, b/c I KNOW I deserve it. Everyday, I fear I'll throw in the towel, but I won't allow myself. It will be a long and slow process, but it's a lifestyle not a "diet". I use this site as a tool, not only for tracking food/exercise, but the motivation & support is amazing. Don't give up on yourself! When I "started" a year ago and gave up, I could've been so much closer to my goal than re-starting now. I think about that a lot. Hang in there and listen to the people on here. They understand b/c that is why most are here. Love yourself and don't give up!!
:flowerforyou:

hscharre

I've totally done the yo-yo thing for years, too. I have much the same issue...I tell myself that I just want to eat what I want and be happy and who cares about being skinny. I'm hoping that something that I've done differently this time will make the difference. I found an exercise that busts stress and that I actually love (boxing). I also signed up for a 3-day 60 mile walk in October so that I have a goal to work for and training to do. Now, when I want to eat I am sometimes able to go for a walk instead. You can do this and, more importantly, you DESERVE to feel healthy. Your body deserves the best. Best to you!!!

sonjavon

I know you've heard it a million times before and maybe even think that you've internalized it... but here's the secret: It's not a diet. It's a lifestyle.

I used to think that meant that my "new lifestyle" meant that I could NEVER have anything that is bad for me again. I used to think that it meant I had to turn into a health "freak" (which by the way doesn't sound so bad anymore). It doesn't... what it means is that 90% of the time I'm going to make good decisions, 90% of the time I'm going to eat well, 90% of the time I'm going to exercise the way that I know I should, 90% of the time I'm going to drink all the water that I know I should...... BUT, because I'm human and have cravings and am not perfect.... 10% of the time, I'm going to have a piece of cake, eat the ice cream, lay in bed and eat chicken noodle soup when I don't feel well. I'm going to go out to eat, enjoy my food and heck - maybe even have the dessert that I want. I may have "bad" meals, "bad" days, or even "bad" weeks - but because this is my LIFESTYLE, I will return to what I know is right, what makes me feel good and what I know works for me.

There is no "cheating" on a lifestyle - there are simply choices.

You need to call out those "thoughts" for what they are though. When your brain tells you that you'd rather be fat and happy - call yourself out and say... "But I'm NOT happy..." and THEN, with a clear and rational mind make your decision of whether to eat that piece of cake.

You can do this. You are worth it.

Doing this doesn't mean sticking to a strict diet... it means making healthier choices.... 90% of the time!

Kath15

You know, I think that is basically what a lot of people grapple with on here, so you'll find many can empathize with you. Overeating is not so much about how good the food tastes, but the emotions we attach to it. I honestly didn't think that I was an emotional eater at all, but I had a rough day yesterday and I found myself just wanting to chow down on everything. Fortunately, I was able to identify this and did not give in. The bottom line is that I knew that I would instantly regret it...and it wouldn't make me feel better. It would be instant gratification, but very short lasting. When you get the urge to overeat, you need to stop and identify what you are really feeling at that moment. Ask yourself if you are really hungry or are you just trying to stuff your emotions down with food? Otherwise, it just becomes one big, vicious cycle. Overeat-regret it and get depressed-overeat again. You know what you want and what will ultimately make you happy. You have been successful with losing weight (65lbs is no small feat) and you can do it again. There will be times when you falter, but don't let that hold you back -just learn from it and move on. I'm usually not one to necessarily endorse a product I've seen on Oprah, but recently she had the author of Women Food and God on the program. The book focuses on the emotions that we attach with food and how we feel about ourselves. I'm thinking about checking it out myself -maybe you'd be interested as well. I wish you well in renewing your journey towards a healthier lifestyle...in mind and body. Remember that you are worth far more than what you put in your mouth.