Help! Out of control again...

pell53

Great that you felt comfortable posting about it.

One of the things I've found most helpful is to MAKE myself enter the stuff I ate so I can appreciate how many calories, etc. it was. Usually it's not as bad as I imagine, although sometimes it's worse. But putting it in there gives me a feeling, however small, of control. I'm not just a victim (self-victim) - I can own it. Maybe I didn't this time....but I can.

98777

You're going to hear this over and over again on MFP - because it's true. The key to success is to treat this as a lifestyle change - not a diet. IMHO, the mistake you made was denying yourself the cake in the first place. Your daughter will have a birthday next year, and the next, and the next... and you will want to celebrate that. So plan ahead next year; eat a light breakfast and maybe do a little extra exercise that day/week.

So you ate too much cake 2 days in a row - how many of us here haven't? You can overcome this and create new habits for yourself that include celebrating the good things in life. For the next 2 days eat light, exercise more, and learn from this experience.

Good luck to you, and happy birthday to your daughter! :flowerforyou:

This person is exactly right.

At first, I truly didn't think I could lose weight at all because I have a problem with compulsive over-eating. Everyone around me ate sweets and I completely cut all of them out of my food plan. I wouldn't let myself have even a single piece of hard candy or anything. Eventually, I would give up and fall off my diet plan after a binge on the latest Easter candy or birthday cake, etc.

Just recently, I have started to be much more moderate. I tell myself it is a lifestyle change and that I CAN have what everyone else is having, so I just eat the one cupcake. Then I don't feel deprived and my mind can let it go. It fits very well into my daily calories and so I have lost no ground, gained no weight.... I am still losing weigh in fact! Just make sure these instances aren't everyday.

I am telling you----the key thing is to REALIZE IT IS A LIFESTYLE CHANGE AND EAT WHAT YOU WANT IN MODERATION!

greeniedgirl

I agree with Salcha76! ( " awwww...take a breath....you're ok. When you eat those calories, make them worth it & enjoy it....don't deprive yourself....this is a lifestyle change...not a "diet". figure out what made you go back for the 2nd & 3rd cupcake.....long day? reward? band aid? crave? don't be hard on yourself....you're only human.....you didn't gain the 40lbs overnight & it won't be lost in the first few weeks....enjoy your daughters bday party...and a cupcake " )


It took me 2 years to get 40 pounds off, I joined MFP a month ago to help me stay on track to get the rest of my weight off. I found the best thing to do is keep supportive people close to you and never allow yourself or anyone else to kick your touche. I have found when you have a "bad day" to log it, every bit of it. Don't turn a celebration into a torment! You will never step off that road once you start. It is important to find why you kept going back (I have done that many times) and when I dug deeper I realized that if I could make my physical self hurt (by overeating), my mental would seem to have a break. I am really big on digging into the past to understand reasons, reactions and habits. Its quite a freeing experience.

You're ok, we are not born running and baby steps don't happen all in one day. They happen one at a time, little by little. Beating yourself up or worrying over it will only make you feel worse.

Keep up the good work!

MinnieInMaine

Totally agree with the non deprivation line of thought. Instead of refusing yourself a treat, go ahead and have it. Just try to plan for it by keeping your food light or get some exercise in if you can. You're much less likely to have these binges if you make peace wtih the sweets instead of treating them like the enemy.

My past experience was the opposite and I finally realized that's why every diet I'd ever tried had failed in the end - I love food and I wanted to have all the choices out there, not just some. I still eat pizza and sweets and all that, I just find a way to make them work so they don't totally derail my efforts and I'm much happier for it. I've never stuck with a diet longer than a year and here I am 3 + years in and still going strong!

We all have these blips and that's how you need to view them. Beating yourself up is just a total waste of time and energy because you sure can't hop in a time machine and go back and change what you did. And obviously giving up is not an option... The most important thing is to get right back on track and you made a huge step in the right direction by trashing the leftovers. Good for you!

Don't starve yourself the rest of the day or any of that. Get some exercise in, eat a light dinner and today will be a new day.

melsbels1986

WOW! I am overwhelmed by everyone's responses! Thank you so much! I feel like I can get back in control. WOW! (I want to be friends with all of you. lol!)

melsbels1986

You were right when you got up this morning. Today is a new day. Maybe you slid a little today. That won't totally negate what you have already done. When you wake up tomorrow, it will be a new day too. It will be a new beginning, if you let it be one. For that matter, the next minute (yes, the one that follows this one while you read my post) will be a new beginning -- IF you let it. You took in some extra calories and stuff. OK. Do something about it. Take a long walk. Go for a run. Swim some laps in the pool. Bench press your kid or go push the kiddo on the merry go round or swing. Get out and DO! You can sit still and mope about it, get depressed and bash yourself - or, you can get out there and be active and start burning those calories off. The choice is yours. Do you want the shadow under your butt or under your feet? Choose life (yours). Put the shadows under your feet and get moving. The path lies before you. Your past is in your rear view mirror. Let it stay there! :-)

WOW! Thanks a lot for this response!

gr8xpectationz

Something that might help you in the future is a tip I got from a friend who's had success in losing a substantial amount of weight and keeping it off: the "not yet" trick.

She says: I never tell myself "no". "No" makes me feel deprived. It turns it into a battle of wills within myself.

Instead, I often tell myself "not yet". "Not yet" is a much easier response to live with. Can I have a cupcake? Yes! Can I have another one? Sure, but not yet. In a little bit. And when "later" arrives, the craving has passed.

It seems like a dumb little piece of self deception, but it has helped me tremendously.

gr8xpectationz

Another piece of wisdom I learned from someone on here: "You don't drown because you fall in the water, you drown because you STAY in the water."

A bad meal...or a bad day...or a bad weekend? No big deal. It doesn't have to be the top of a slippery slope. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just get back on plan and pick up where you left off.

Lastly, if you find this kind of compulsiveness is a problematic pattern, use the "notes" or "blog" features on MFP to record how you were feeling, what triggered it, etc., so that you can look for patterns or insecurities that can sabotage you along the way.

mkoff32

I know what you're talking about. I have sporadic days like this and I used to freak the heck out. But now, I just keep going though my routine knowing I'm going to hit a speed bump every so often. For example last night I had like 900 calories left after being meticulous all day and having exercised. Then my buddy called me to play cards. So, 8 beers, some chips and dip and 100 bucks later... I was feeling pretty guilty. I just woke up today and it was business as usual. It happens, if you deprive yourself of these days, you'll be miserable. What good is living life if you're in shape but can't enjoy yourself every once in a while?

clownfear_7

Don't beat yourself up about it. It was one day. Maybe it will take a little bit of work for you to take off the couple extra pounds that you put on, but it sounds like the damage that was done was mostly to your unrealistic expectations.
My wife and I have different dieting approaches. She deprives herself, but then when she gives in, even a little she feels guilty, and will almost punish herself for it. She will then exercise more, deprive herself of choices that may be good, but less good then something else.
I on the other hand, endulge in treats almost daily, or maybe a few times a week. I am careful to indulge in the earlier part of the day rather than before bed. I moderate what I am indulging also. I will often have a little of what I want and throw away the rest. And when I really indulge, like going to Laughlin with friends for the weekend, I did not deprive myself of what I wanted, put on a few pounds and then got back on the horse and felt great because I had a great weekend with some freinds and my wife.
I hope this helps you. Have fun with this journey rather than treating it like it's your old world mother who is peeking around the corner to catch you at doing something wrong and then guilt you for it. Find your balance. God bless!