Howdy, folks!

BlottomanTurk

Howdy, Tom here. I’ve been known as Big Tom or Fat Tom for the majority of my life. As you may guess, I’m a n00b. I don’t know how this is supposed to go, so here’s pretty much everything about me and my situation. I’m 27 years old. I have a BA in Writing, so be prepared for a long read (sorry, I don’t get to write very often). I’m 6’, and my starting weight, as of April 3rd, was 371.3 pounds. As of yesterday, I've made it down to 363.5 pounds.
My main goal: I want to lose at least 100 pounds by the time I turn 29 (June 4, 2014).
My secondary goal: I would really like to see my 30th birthday.

Here’s my grand list of obstacles and health issues:
Obstacles:
--I’m poor. Like…legitimately poor. I make about $12,000 per year, and I get about $3,000 per year from my parents. I’m about $20,000 in debt for student loans, and $10,000 in debt from medical expenses (that’s just two ER trips when you’re uninsured).
--I don’t have any medical insurance. I only have a part-time job without benefits, and I don’t have the time or job skills to get a better job anytime in the next year.
--I have a mostly sedentary job (Security Guard): I work nights, and usually have to sit behind a desk for 6-8 hours, and do a building walk-through every hour. This walkthrough is between .16 and .5 miles (depending on the building I have to work in)
--I have only slightly more than zero willpower. I’m lazy. And I’m a quitter.
--My daily schedule really only gives me about 5-7hours of useable time. I usually have to spend this time with our puppy (my roommates and I got a puppy two months ago). Unfortunately, since she isn’t registered or spayed yet, we can’t take her out and about. So for the next 3 months, I really don’t have any true free time.
--I can’t keep a routine. I don’t know why, but I’ll just forget stuff and break routines after a few weeks.
--I probably don’t have to tell y’all this, but crappy food is way more accessible than healthy food for me.

Health problems:
--I suffer from chronic depression
--I have asthma coupled with panic attacks. If I run up to the third floor, I have to sit down for ten minutes to steady my breathing; else I’ll have a panic attack and sometimes pass out.
--I used to drink heavily (I quit last month), and as a result, I have pancreatic issues.
--As you may expect, I have weak lower joints (hips, knees, ankles). To further this, my right knee and my left foot are bad, thanks to football and baseball injuries in my childhood. If I run for 20 minutes, walk for 45 minutes, or drive (yeah) for 2+ hours, my left ankle and right knee will be on fire for the next two days (walking with a double limp is no bueno)
--I’m lactose intolerant and have IBS. Also, my pancreatic issues—about once every two or three months, my pancreas swells up and basically shuts down my digestive system. I’m fairly certain this was mainly linked to my drinking habits, and am hoping that it will stop (or at least happen much less frequently) now that I’ve quit drinking.
--I’m a smoker. Yeah, I know, that’s dumb as hell…especially with the asthma and obesity. I’ve been smoking for a large part of my life. Over the past few years, I’ve been cutting my habits, but I seem to have stalled out at 15-20 cigs per day (pack/day)…but I am working on cutting it more.

And here’s my list of assets and thinspiration (I know that "thinspiration" is a term used in ana/mia culture and has negative connotations, but I’m going to use it anyways):
Assets:
--I have access to an “exercise room” in my apartment complex, but it only has a pair of those “everything” weight machines; y’know, the ones that do a whole bunch of stuff, but it’s all really just weight lifting.
--While I can’t really do impact exercises like running or distance walking (yet?), I can handle biking (I used to bike 5 miles/day when I was in my teens)
--I recently got a stationary recumbent bike (make/model: Marcy ME-709), a scale, and a pedometer (Omron HJ-112)
--I try to take my dog on a 0.5-1.0 mile walk on days that I have time (that's about once a week right now). Come summer, I'll be working a little less and will have more time.
--I recently quit drinking alcohol (the beginning of this month) and sodas (last fall). I mainly just drink water, Gatorade, V8Fusion, orange juice, or apple juice. I've also recently started drinking tea.

Thinspiration:
--I want to grow out of my clothes the other way. I want to fit into my old suit…and then it be too big for me. I want to be able to buy clothes at normal stores and not have to special-order or deal with Casual Male XL or Men's Big&Tall.
--I’d like to easily tie my shoes.
--I want be able to sit in a booth at a restaurant without the table digging into my stomach. I want to not have to specifically request an armless chair because I can’t fit in normal-sized armed chairs.
--I want my mom to stop worrying all the time about outliving her son.
--I’d like to be able to ride a roller coaster someday again.
--I’d like to be able to go bungee jumping, skydiving, and do adrenaline-junkie stuff.
--I want to be able to shoot a game of pool without sweating profusely.
--While it may seem really crass…I’d really like to get laid more often. Chubby-chasers are few and far between, these days.
--I’d like to be just Regular Tom, or just Tom, rather than Big Tom or Fat Tom.

So…where the heck do I start?! I’m not trying to crash-diet or anything like that. I want to be able to do this gradually so I don’t give up. What should I be doing for these first few weeks and/or months? My plan so far is this:
--At least 5 days per week, do 20 minutes on my recumbent bike. I've brought it up from 5min/day daily; so hopefully I'll be up to 30min/day within the next few weeks.
--Eating less, drinking more. I'm trying to drink more water, juice, and tea in place of snacking on crap food.
--Nutritional Tracking. I've been tracking my food/drink intake, and it has really been helping me understand everything.
--Activity Tracking. I've been keeping track of my normal walking with the pedometer, so that I can at least have a baseline.
--Food Replacement. I'm (slowly) starting to replace the foods I usually eat with similar foods (for example, eating turkey burgers instead of beef burgers). I'm hoping this will put me on the right track and make the transition to a healthy diet easier.

Why now? It kinda just dawned on me recently that I have to stop using all the aforementioned problems as reasons why I can’t get myself right, and start using them as reasons why I MUST get right. Well, that’s about it. I’m sure I’m forgetting stuff, but that’s what I can think of. Anyways, do y'all have any comments/suggestions about any of this?