Sabotage and flatulence

Cr01502

There are people really making me mad at my work. I work in an office btw. The way I have chosen to deal with them is to eat food that gives me very bad gas and to make them sit through it. I already consume alot of broccoli and eggs but I think they're getting used to it.

Are there other things I should include in my diet to make my flatulence more frequent and intolerable?

DrBentonQuest

If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.

Cliffslosinit

Warm Dr Pepper

Penny_Lane_

If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.

Hahaha

thecanface

If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.

this is genius...

iWaffle

Include lots of fiber and beans into your diet. That stuff will make sure you're gassy all day long. I think you need to get out of SBD mode and just shift towards full on earth shaking flatulence.

jbutterflye

Eat tacos.

theCarlton

Beef jerky.

jasonp_ritzert

Try sugar-free candies/chocolates. The amount of sugar alcohol in it gives a lot of people bad gas.

Cr01502

If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.

Hmmm . . . this is interesting . . . do you have any suggestions on how to obtain this underwear? We don't have a work locker room or anything of that nature so it might be a bit difficult.

Cliffslosinit

Eat tacos.

Creepy FR on it's way!!

CallMeCupcakeDammit

Protein shakes made with milk. Some people have trouble with Fiber One bars, so you could do a shake and a bar. Expired milk is even better.

Cr01502

Include lots of fiber and beans into your diet. That stuff will make sure you're gassy all day long. I think you need to get out of SBD mode and just shift towards full on earth shaking flatulence.

Thank you. That is what I'm trying to accomplish with this topic.

I've been doing well but I'm still, very much, batting in the minor league's so to speak.

Is there anyone out there that can't help me kick it up a notch.

Currently I flatulate about 17 times a day.

Usually their moist and stinky. I don't count the dry ones.

MiloBloom83

There are people really making me mad at my work. I work in an office btw. The way I have chosen to deal with them is to eat food that gives me very bad gas and to make them sit through it. I already consume alot of broccoli and eggs but I think they're getting used to it.

Are there other things I should include in my diet to make my flatulence more frequent and intolerable?

HArd boil the eggs. Extra stinky egg farts.

amandammmq

Slightly spoiled food ought to do the trick.

DavPul

If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.

Hmmm . . . this is interesting . . . do you have any suggestions on how to obtain this underwear? We don't have a work locker room or anything of that nature so it might be a bit difficult.

HEY, no room here for whiners! I you're going to commit to this revenge plan you're going to have to go all the way. And I mean ALL the way. You want this revenge or not?

_Timmeh_

Beer and deviled eggs. You'll be crop dusting in no time.

Cr01502

Slightly spoiled food ought to do the trick.

Thank you for the suggestion.

I'm a little worried about getting sick doing that though.

I really can't miss anymore time off of work.

iWaffle

Usually their moist and stinky. I don't count the dry ones.

The dry ones score big points just for intimidation alone. It doesn't even have to smell to make people run from the room screaming like kids in a candy store.

classycouture

Eat lots of asparagus and drink tons of coffee. Make sure not to flush so the rest room smells too. Or pee in the sink, make sure the stopper is doing it's job. Or pee in the kitchen sink.

odusgolp

I'm not sure I can support peeing in the kitchen sink....

capnrus789

French onion soup at Panera. If you skip the cheese, it's a relatively healthy lunch choice. Then watch out, it's brutal.

Cr01502

If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.

Hmmm . . . this is interesting . . . do you have any suggestions on how to obtain this underwear? We don't have a work locker room or anything of that nature so it might be a bit difficult.

HEY, no room here for whiners! I you're going to commit to this revenge plan you're going to have to go all the way. And I mean ALL the way. You want this revenge or not?

Wow. Thank you. I never looked at it like that before. I have a girlfriend but you're right. She needs to be made to understand that this is for an important cause I'll bring it up over dinner tonight.

Cr01502

Eat lots of asparagus and drink tons of coffee. Make sure not to flush so the rest room smells too. Or pee in the sink, make sure the stopper is doing it's job. Or pee in the kitchen sink.

I already have been peeing in the kitchen sink but everyone has been. We're having some remodeling done at the office and the toilets are out of order.

Thanks for the asparagus tip. :flowerforyou:

msaestein1

I hated the guy next to me at my old job so I would eat Middle Eastern and Indian food at my desk all of the time. Lots of garlic and curry, etc. Very tasty for me, but very annoying for him.

Cliffslosinit

TedStout

Fiber One bars....INTENSE

iAMsmiling

Pickled eggs and San Miguel dark beer.

Trust me on this.

sewerchick93

huevos rancheros with extra spicy chili washed down with beer.

any of the Nature's Plus fruitein mixes.......although you need to be careful, can lead to explosions that produce more than just stinky air.

ldrosophila

asparagus, cabbage, fish, lots of indian and middle eastern spices, fried foods, garlic, remember to reheat fish in the same room. For added benefit you might want to consider playing bollywood music at your desk or recordings of Mongolian throat callers.

iAMsmiling

I used to eat smoked oysters in the office and hide the empty tin in a trash can near a person that annoyed me.

Had them sniffing around and digging through trash cans in the afternoon.