My head needs to catch up with the mirror.

salsagal36

I apologise, this isn't a success story, it's a kind of along the way story.

In January last year I weighed my heaviest 258lbs and I was horrifed. I cried, I raged, I did all the things people do when they come to the realisation that they need to do something about this right now! So I did, I joined the gym. I went a couple of times a week for a while and messed around on the treadmill (walking, I couldn't run) and the elliptical. Going from 2 mins to 30 mins. I lost about 4lbs. Then I got bored of going alone and found excuses. I was too busy, I had work, it wasn't fair on OH or my son to go on a weekend. That kind of thing.

Then I went on holiday and wouldn't let anyone take pictures of me. My eldest son took one anyway (sneaky child) and eventually I saw it. I cried again and went back to the gym. Only this time I asked about OH joining with me. He's a wheelchair user with Spina Bifida at L1 level. We assumed that because of this he wouldn't be able to but I spoke to the gym staff anyway, just in case.

That day there was a personal trainer there and he was adamant that a wheechair was not a barrier to fitness and got me to bring OH along. We had a chat with him and OH decided to sign up for weekly sessions for 6 weeks to learn what he could and couldn't use/do in the gym. I caried on messing around on the elliptical and the treadmill. I still cried about my size.

October was my birthday, OH and family asked what I wanted as a present. I said personal trainer sessions., so everyone chipped in and I started twice a week in November. That 6 weeks ran out, so I asked for the same again for Christmas and got it and I carried on. I also started training with OH's wheelchair basketball team every week.

Fast forward to January and OH and I were having a chat about wanting to carry on but it being expensive (we're getting married in August). We worked it into our wedding budget as something we wanted to do for ourselves to feel good on our wedding day. We also cut a deal with our trainer and got a huge discount for booking 6 monhs of twice weekly sessions each and paying up front. We continued to train. I can now do short sprints, am kicking *kitten* (usually my own) on squats and picking up heavy things.

In this time I've played with MFP numbers, activity levels, BMR & TDEE and bought a Fitbit one. Some weeks the scales moved, some they didn't (there are a lot of those). I've not lost a ton of weight yet. I'm only down 30lbs from where I started last January 2012. But I've lost 3 dress sizes, so there must be a difference right? It must be obvious, surely?

Well. I can see it in my belly when I do a side comparison pic. But that is the only place I notice it. I can't see any change anywhere else. I look in the mirror and see the same fat, wobbly person with a ginormous chin (I was on steroids for 10 years and had the typical moon face) that was looking at last January.

OH has told me he can see a huge difference, so have my kids. I can see it that pic, but I can't see it in the mirror . Don't get me wrong, I'm not quitting. I will carry on, I will get to a healthy BMI and I will know on my wedding day that I did all I can to achieve the best me I can be on that day. It may take another 18 months but I will get to Onederland. I just hope, really really hope that I don't look at my wedding pictures and see the same fat blob I see now becaause my head won't catch up with the mirror.

salsagal36

EEK it's huge! I'll try to fix it.

cOOkieLpX

You look great. It looks like your toning as you go, which is awesome. Congrats.

salsagal36

Thank you. I'm hoping that I will tone as I go so I don't end up slim and wobbly. I've managed to drop my BF% by more than 5% so far.

hfester

I love your attitude!
I saw the difference in your face first, actually. Major difference there. Also, I can see your bicep area toning up. Your booty has lifted, and your quads look tighter.

Nice work!

catz4ever45

Wow you look amazing slowly but surely u will get there dont give up

KodAkuraMacKyen

Fantastic progress. Congrats!

salsagal36

Thank you. I've been thinking about this and coe to realise that I've achieved what I have so far really since I started with my PT in Novemeber and if I can change from then to now. I can change further between now and my wedding.

The bridal shop are going to have to take my dress in :laugh:

JoelleAnn78

I saw it in your face immediately! You're doing great - and this IS a success story. Don't sell yourself short. :flowerforyou:

kalefan2013

Your story is actually quite similar to my own. I'm looking at your pic wondering how you can't see the difference. Meanwhile people say the same thing to me and I can't see the difference . Even though I feel it. Plus my energy is great.
I guess we only see what we don't like in ourselves and other people only see the positive

jessiex21

A tip a friend shared with me the other other day if it is any help. This was a actually in relation to an anorexic friend who could not see that she was actually smaller than her friend. She considered her friend a small girl but could only see herself as fat and ugly. My friend got a large piece of paper and they each drew round the others silhouette cut them out and stuck them on the wall. The anorexic could then see that the cut out of her was much smaller than the friends and as it didnt have her face/ features on it she didnt mentally connect it with herself and could accept which silhouette was the smaller
I dont know of any reason why this couldnt work for losing weight also. If you did a silhouette now and then repeat in a few weeks time you could perhaps see the difference easier. Just a thought !!

anewlife1980

I can relate, I've lost 34lbs since Feb & I can't see it unless I do comparison pics, my husband says he can but I just don't see it, you aren't alone. However I can see a huge diff in your pics, esp in your face around your chin/neck area, your stomach & even your bottom looks toner. Be proud of what you've done to date, stick with it & you will only continue to become even more amazing for your big day :-)

salsagal36

Today I even got an NSV!! It's taken me 6 months but I have finally completed the whole of week one day one of C25K. I've never made it past the 3rd run before without feeling like I'm dying but I did it! I'm so pleased with myself, I came out the gym with a big grin on my face!

NHoughton13

You're doing awesome! I could tell immediately in your face and waist. Your rear is quite perky too! Keep up the good work!