Bad Idea

MagicalLeopleurodon

I have Zombies, Run! on my phone. love it. havent played in months due to weather.

So i strap on my snazzy armband and my snazzy hrm. I put in my biohazard earbuds.

Its gorgeous today, and my fat dogs looked bored. "Theyre fat dogs. Not like we'll get past a jog."
So on go the leashes. Green for shepherd husky Parker. Pink for shepherd husky Harley Quinn. Black for pitbull curr Rogue.

I hit START MISSION and open the door. Green leaves, blue sky. Aahhhhhh.

We walk and they potty. The voice overs speak. The dogs wag their tails. Life is good.

Then the first ZOMBIES:100 METERS kicks on. Groans. HORROR.
So i start to jog. Rogue decides she wants to keep walking and cranks my left arm behind my back-refusing to go faster. Parker trots like a buggy horse directly beside me before planting his feet DEAD to pee. Harley loses her bleeding mind and rockets forwatd, backward, and side to side-chomping every flipping stick and blade of grass possible at a sprint.

We finally regulate, with Rogue begrudglingly trotting 100000 feet behind us, Parker so close he cant think of peeing, and Harley phasing between lunging forward and walking. ZOMBIES EVADED.

My heart rate is maxed and im sucking wind (upper body workout?).

We resume walking. Minutes later WARNING ZOMBIES 100 METERS.

by the fifth zombie attack, i have been deadlegged, tripped, yanked, dragged, dislocated, and peed on.

The zombies won.

And my dogs are on their own during the apocalypse.

Calliope610

Thanks for the LOL.

KAYRRIE

What's the actual name of that game?

Twilightsunflower

laughing so hard im almost crying

jamaicanlady

LOVE this. You're a great writer.

MagicalLeopleurodon

What's the actual name of that game?

Zombies, Run!

the icon on mine is a black and red box wiith hands reaching up to a running guy.

tpittsley77

Haha thanks for the laugh! Sorry the zombies won tho!

Melo1966

Wow I can't imagine trying it with 3 dogs the invisible zombies are going to eat you and them everytime. Now if only the dogs could see the zombies you make have a chance for survival.

macjenkins

Got to try this app. It's sounds hilarious!

rduhlir

HAHAHA....

This is great...also a reason why if I take the pups for a run it is only at Shelby Farms Dog Park...then I don't have to worry about the deadlegged, tripped, peed on, yanked, and face planted me...oh wait..I have a Blue Heeler that always decides I am not running fast enough so jumps and pushes my butt to go faster.....

But in the end, she is one of my biggest fans so it just makes me smile.

thecanface

ugh! freakin dogs!! LOL that was funny though...

hkmurphy83

OMG!! I was laughing so hard, tears started rolling! Thank you for the great laugh. You are an entertaining writer!

GetSoda

Establish yourself as the pack leader, and it will solve the problem

MagicalLeopleurodon

HAHAHA....

This is great...also a reason why if I take the pups for a run it is only at Shelby Farms Dog Park...then I don't have to worry about the deadlegged, tripped, peed on, yanked, and face planted me...oh wait..I have a Blue Heeler that always decides I am not running fast enough so jumps and pushes my butt to go faster.....

But in the end, she is one of my biggest fans so it just makes me smile.

i adore my dogs-but towards the end i was wondering if its abusive to tie them all together so they will all drag the same direction! my neighbors think im insane, i was yelling at my dogs, "I SWEAR I WILL ROAST YOUR LEGS IN A REAL ZOMBIE APOCSLYPSE!"

MorganLeighRN

Haha! Bad idea, GREAT story!!

MagicalLeopleurodon

Establish yourself as the pack leader, and it will solve the problem

i should introduce you to my dogs....they own this house and we all know it (except the cats. shhh....dont tell them, ill get in trouble!)

christy3565

This is great!! I laughed so loud in my cubicle I had a coworker peek around to see what was up. Thanks for the laugh!!

coe28

Literally laughing out loud, too funny!

TurtleRunnerNC

Thanks for the chuckle!

mdraper60

Thank you for the laugh! I am sure my office neighbours are wondering if I've lost it! I must try this app on my phone!!!

meeper123

hehe i love that app

KAYRRIE

What's the actual name of that game?

Zombies, Run!

the icon on mine is a black and red box wiith hands reaching up to a running guy.

Thank you! Maybe that'll motivate me to run, lol.

ElizabethKalmbach

Hahaha. I was using that app to jog home from work when I saw a weird Zombie photo shoot going on in the local park. First time EVER, RUNNER 5 CHASED DOWN A ZOMBIE FOR A HUG. Got my picture taken for posterity. Really wish I'd had a bottle of water and a pack of underpants for the photo...

Jan8591

That was a terrific story. What fun!! :happy:

MagicalLeopleurodon

in all seriousness folks, the app is a blast (sans dogs. its pretty terrible with dogs.)
i think it cost $8.99? ive had it over a year and havent beaten it yet-you can replay missions and never get bored. you automatically grab supplies as you go and can use them to build a base when you get done running-so theres gameplay even after you stop working out. its like an audiobook that youre the star of.

but you will look over your shoulder like zombies are really chasing you (the groaning gets louder as they get closer). you dont need to be an avid runner, 20% faster than whatever your walk was is all ot takes to escape and you can pause it.

if youre like my mom and nearly get caught-you will cry (if they catch.you-all your suupplies get dropped) and beg a nearby person to take your phone and outrun them (run with an ex track person, just on case).

cynthiadmail

Totally why I let someone else walk the dog.. Loved this story. Two Thumbs up to ya for your get up and go even with the dogs.

Kittenopolis

i adore my dogs-but towards the end i was wondering if its abusive to tie them all together so they will all drag the same direction! my neighbors think im insane, i was yelling at my dogs, "I SWEAR I WILL ROAST YOUR LEGS IN A REAL ZOMBIE APOCSLYPSE!"

alwp

Also, this is something I would TOTALLY yell at any given pet/person/friend/family member/etc in frustration over basically anything ever.

zhvah18

Haha! Great story. BTW I LOVE your dogs names!

meeper123

I have a life size zombie girl that follows you ( the lil girl from walking dead season 1) you can borrow her to get your dogs moving I know she sure makes my dog scram lol

Dr_Waffles

This is exactly why we never see dogs in zombie shows. Nor do we ever see zombie dogs.

CarmenSantiago

Great read. You are a brilliant writer. I'm afraid the zombies would be munching on me for a long time. I would never outrun a slow *kitten*, dead, half blind, zombie.


You had me in tears! ????