recovery - please help? Seeking words of encouragement

ixiHemlock

Not sure if I'm in the right place, but anyway here's my story. I'm 20 years old and a recovering anorexic, and right now I weigh ~109-112lbs at 5'5. My BMI hovers around 18-18.5, but no matter what I still feel fat all the time. Cognitively and statistically I "know" I'm not fat, but the therapy doesn't seem to help and I've been losing progress towards my calorie goals. I just can't force myself to eat more and gain more weight. I feel so blob-y and terrible about my body. I feel that men will find me chubby and unattractive.

I guess I was just hoping for some words of encouragement, or at least advice on maintaining my current weight. It's hard for me to not want to desperately lose the weight I gained in recovery again!

closedforrenovation

I'm sorry to hear you're having problems with your body image and that your therapy isn't working out for you. I think an important thing to remember is to be an advocate for yourself above all else; make sure you're speaking up that your therapy isn't working, heck shout it from the rooftops! You need more or different assistance than you're getting, which is logical, as everyone is different! Definitely be open about your struggles with any supportive loved ones or counselors you might have access to, support is important. I think often people like to have a cure mentality, that when you succeed it's easy to maintain, but really it's a lifelong process towards health.

It sucks to feel terrible about your body, and I'm really sorry you're going through that. Body loathing sucks for everyone! Don't worry about men finding you attractive. They will. You're a beautiful woman. There will always be men who will worship you if you act like you deserve it. I am constantly astounded at how many cute sexy men want to date me and truly believe I'm beautiful. Personally, being significantly overweight and feeling rather horrible about my body, I don't expect that at all, but it's true. If a guy doesn't make you feel more beautiful when he looks at you then he's no guy for you. Tons of people will love you massively given half a chance. Have love for yourself. We are more than our bodies, and there's no such thing as perfection to everyone. Take care of yourself, and don't starve your body or your soul.

dad040859

Please, please, PLEASE - put away the thought that men are only interested in the physical appearance. Any man worth his salt looks into your eyes, deep into your soul, and finds your beauty. That's all there is to it! He's out there, looking for you. But when he looks into your eyes, looking for your soul, he'll also want to see if you like yourself. First and foremost, like yourself...and the rest will follow. I wish you nothing but the best, and pray you'll look into the mirror tomorrow and for the first time in a long time, say "I'm the most important person in my life."

ndowns22

Msg me!!! I would love to help you and chat more. Proud of you for posting such a personal matter and asking for help.

kaylabrose

You really just need to decide that you're sick of being like this, and realise that life is so much better then living with this illness. I'm fully recovered and weight restored, 5'8 and 137lbs, 62kg's and I love my body a TON more then I did 40lbs, 20kg's lighter. I promise, PROMISE (I can't stress that enough) that there is so much more to life then this disorder, and it may take you a month, a year, even 2 years to realise that but you will one day and you'll get better, look back and smile to yourself and think ''I made it'' Ive eaten 1000 calories worth of ice cream on it's own, a ton of Chinese, a chocolate bar and two muffins today because it was my Birthday but six months ago I was eating 500 calories a day and burning it all off. You'll realise how strong you are and that you have enough strength to beat your ED, you will smile truly again, you will go out to eat with family/friends and not worry about the calories/food, you will be happy and you will fully recover. If you ever need to talk to anyone, or need more advice please message me on here, or email me on kaylabdermer@hotmail.com, I want to help you see the beauty that this world has because I know what it feels like to feel trapped and like it's never going to get better, sending my love and prayers to you, sorry for the long post/rant!

edit : please read the quote I have on my profile ''when I realised I was not my body, I became free'' it's the honest and blunt truth, and once you realise it you will be well on your way to a life without being controlled by your ED.

sarahf3092

Sorry to hear what you are going through and feeling. I can understand to some extent as my sister is a "recovered" anorexic but still has the odd struggles here and there. Theres a group called Body Gossip which I beleive she reads and follows on facebook and she find has helped alot - heres the link if you want to have a look...... https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/bodygossip

All else I can say is take each day at a time.....try and plan out what you will eat and try and stick to it however hard it feels to do so. Eating more than you used to can still be healthy , you need all the nutrients to glow

Feel free to add or msg me if you need to....we are all here for you, & I know how much the help of others helped out my sis...

sarahf3092

http://www.bodygossip.org/

thats the actual website - aims to teach everyone to love there bodys no matter size and shape

Bodyforlife2011

Just want to add..real, truly loving men love women of all sizes.. don't let TV and all that stuff convince you otherwise..most of all they are looking for healthy strong women. Sending all the great energy I have to you to assist you through your journey.