What I have discovered only moments ago

MagentaChallenger

I was having a conversation with my mother this morning and one thing led to another and I decided to pull out this old Hard Rock Cafe shirt I had bought back in 7th grade. (I am a college student now) so it has been may many years since I have tried on this shirt. So I went through my drawer of old pants and clothes in order to find it. Along the way I checked the old pants I had that I put away because they held old memories or they were awesome pants that I ripped because I could fit in them but eventually gave way because I was too much to hold in. I tried them on and with my stomach poking out and pulling the top of my pants out, there was a large gap- this I have never seen before. Usually my tummy leaves a small gap between my pulled out pants.

When I was thinner and in middle school I remember being a size 12. As I got older I got bigger and had to wear a size 14. The biggest size I found amongst my clothes was a size 16 from Old Navy. I figured since it was my only size 16 that I had to go up on the size because of the way it was cut/shaped me etc. I put it on and it was bigger than wearing my bf jeans. (he's about 6'/6'1" about 155lbs.) Too I decided to put on a size 12 on and they fit around my thighs good because I'm a naturally hippy person, but overall they were baggy. I don't wear size 12 very often anymore. Depending on the style and cut of the jeans I wear anywhere between 9/10, 11, 13s (13 is smaller that 12 because odd numbers are junior sizes as even is misses... so I'm told)

Then I find the shirt. It's a size small and I put it on. It fits A LOT looser on me than it did years ago. The sleeves don't hug around my arm and when I sit down, my rolls don't try to protrude out of the shirt making me feel uncomfortable to where I need to suck in my stomach so it won't look so bad. I actually feel comfortable in it and am wearing it now as I write this. And it's not super big either. It's just right.

This discovery has hit me really hard because this morning I didn't really feel like going to the gym. I missed out yesterday and just wanted to chill today. I looked at myself in the mirror and was like- you really need to go to the gym. I dig through all these old clothes and notice how much of a difference has been made in losing 30lbs over the last 2 years. I was 177lbs when I started the gym 2 years ago. The biggest I've ever been in my life. Going back and forth up and down with all the crap going on in my life- and then my dad found Metabolic Research Center in the newspaper and figured I should ought to try it and through them I lost 20 more lbs after the first 10 I lost by myself through working out at the gym and going through depression. Today I am roughly 153lbs. In middle school I remember being in the mid 140-mid 40s. I would like to be 140 again, but my real goal is to be 135-8.

This discovery and thinking about everything I've done and been through has motivated me to get off my butt. My goal is so
close yet so far away. I've come this far, I don't need to start lagging again like I have done over and over again in the past. I really want to get myself where I want to be.