What would you do?

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MyKidzMom
MyKidzMom Posts: 97
in Chit-Chat
A very close friend of mine is getting married on May 29th....we are so close that my father and stepmom are paying for her reception and I am pretty much playing wedding planner. Originally we discussed maybe doing something small for a bachelorette party this weekend....maybe dinner. It has now turned in to Buffalo Wild Wings for appetizers and drinks and then going to a bar, then to an after hours bar. I am currently in the stage of my life where I am seeking a closer relationship with the Lord and am not really into going out to bars, but would prefer to be at home with my children and boyfriend. I do not want to go out to a bar then to church the next morning.....to me that just seem doesn't right, and again it is not something I am interest in doing. The other day I told her, I will go out but I am not going out all night because we are still looking for a new church and we have to get up early the next morning, so she said well we can just go to get something to eat and then to the Quest.....I am just so uncomforatble with this that it is making my stomach hurt just thinking about it. I want to talk to her about it again, but she has this way of making me feel bad. What can I do? I have so much going on in my own life right now that I just feel completely lost. Any advice would be appreciated.

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  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
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    What is the Quest?

    If she is that close of a friend, then you should be able to talk to her. I would tell her, "Listen, I love you and I want you to have a good time. I don't want to put a damper on your Bachelorette party, but I'm not comfortable doing .... XYZ. I'll be glad to go get something to eat with you - but after that, I'm going to head on home and let you go out with the rest of the girls...".

    When I planned my wedding, I did NOT WANT a big Bachelorette party. My sister thought it would be fun to bring in a stripper - but I have to give her credit, she respected my wishes. We went to the Melting Pot and had dinner, went to a comedy club and went back to our hotel room to hang out and have a couple drinks.
  • MyKidzMom
    MyKidzMom Posts: 97
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    The Quest is a gay bar
  • BbNuke
    BbNuke Posts: 82 Member
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    If she is that close of a friend, then you should be able to talk to her. I would tell her, "Listen, I love you and I want you to have a good time. I don't want to put a damper on your Bachelorette party, but I'm not comfortable doing .... XYZ. I'll be glad to go get something to eat with you - but after that, I'm going to head on home and let you go out with the rest of the girls...".

    I think this is a perfect response, and almost exactly what I was going to say. A close friend will respect your choices and not push you to do something that will make you uncomfortable. Plus you will be there celebrating her big day with her -- isn't that more important than the Bachelorette party?
  • MyKidzMom
    MyKidzMom Posts: 97
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    Thank you so much....I am ging to do this. You are right, she will understand if a true friend and I will be there for the most important thing.
  • KatieM7
    KatieM7 Posts: 588 Member
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    If she is that close of a friend, then you should be able to talk to her. I would tell her, "Listen, I love you and I want you to have a good time. I don't want to put a damper on your Bachelorette party, but I'm not comfortable doing .... XYZ. I'll be glad to go get something to eat with you - but after that, I'm going to head on home and let you go out with the rest of the girls...".

    I think this is a perfect response, and almost exactly what I was going to say. A close friend will respect your choices and not push you to do something that will make you uncomfortable. Plus you will be there celebrating her big day with her -- isn't that more important than the Bachelorette party?

    This is great advice. If she is that close of a friend then she will be accepting of what you decide. Don't be afraid to tell her how you feel about it there is nothing to be ashamed of.

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