FAT, exhausted, and sad...

chubbymama07

i can NOT stay motivated!!! years of feeling this way, never feeling pretty, not prom, not my wedding day, NEVER! i have such a beautiful family, so many blessings and things to be thankful for and want to live for but my lack of motivation always kicks my fat butt! has anyone felt this way before starting a weight loss journey that worked? when had you finally had enough!!? i need help, motivation, and even with what to eat, or what diet to go on... some people say "dont call it a diet, you'll give up!" well.... what is it then? my husband and i are going on a mini vacation in august, i'd LOVE to finally feel confident enough to wear something i feel cute in and not feel like i'm embarrasing him with my weight (he denies that i do, but whatever!) i'm not looking for a pity party, i'm looking for real help, real motivation, maybe a group to keep me in check? trying to do this alone has just got me depressed and mad at myself!

my first goal is to lose 40 lbs*
over all goal is 80

iggyboo93

Stick around. The folks here will try to keep you motivated whether you like it or not.

chubbymama07

thanks! i sure hope so, i need someone to kick my butt!

JJordon

One must replace temporary motivation with a relatively permanent habit.

HudaSaman

I think this is a good place to stay motivated.. try to enter your daily food it helps you .. and anytime you need motivation just write here ..

I can now tell you that being sad won't help you, stand in front of the mirror and say " I CAN DO IT " smile and repeat it loudly to your self and you will feel it.. try to enjoy your journey in losing weight .. it will be tough in the beginning but then you will find it easier, stay STRONG I wish you the best ..

xscarletXbegoniasx

Getting started is ALWAYS the hardest part. You might not have much motivation now, but FORCE yourself off the couch to take a walk a couple times a day, or jog, or something active that isn't high pressure to start, once you start losing weight and feel better you will have more motivation guaranteed. And it wont feel like a chore anymore because you'll want to feel good. Cut calories little by little. Sometimes the amount MFP switches you to can be overwhelming and in reality making small changes in the beginning will help make big differences.

chubbymama07

Thank you SO much i'm feeling more positive already!!

oX_Vanessa_Xo

Congratulations, you just made the first step to weight loss!

OfficerFuzzy

If all these people on this site can do it, so can you!
Remember that you're awesome no matter what state you're in and etc.
Good luck.:flowerforyou:

chubbymama07

i cant believe all of the kind, supportive people already!! thank you all so so much, you have no idea how much better i feel about this already! you all are wonderful! thanks again! IM GONNA DO IT THIS TIME!!

kimberly702

It's a tough process... especially when you have a family to take care of! I'm a stay at home mom also, and there have been so many times (like the 1 year slump I've been in) that I've felt like totally giving up... have even gained back 15 after losing 45 lbs, but it's the great people I've met on here that make me keep coming back and not giving up! Sending you a request!

LittleFish79

I am new here, too -- although I've been trying to make *lifestyle changes* -- going to a gym to workout, sometimes w/ a trainer; having a gym buddy; eating less processed foods & definitely, more fruits & veggies; attending classes w/ a diabetes nutritionist. What I find so helpful about logging my food & exercise on this site is that it forces me to "be honest" w/ myself. Then I see where I am headed, the "bumps" in the road & the ways in which I can improve.

No more sneaking sweets or cookies. If I eat it -- I log it in black & white. Then, I can consider actions to take to do better OVERALL. Hang in there! We didn't put on our weight overnight; only healthy lifestyle choices will help us to lose the weight, feel better & keep it off. IMHO

mjgo56

I have the same ultimate goal to lose 80 lbs. I am going to be 57 next week and I have 2 grandchildren and one more on the way. I am currently healthy and I want to stay that way. I have been reading a real good book called The Amen Solution and one of the best pieces of advice I got out of only reading 4 chapters is to set DAILY goals. One of my daily goals is to simply log into MFP. I was depressed with a gain of 6 lbs after allegedly "dieting" for 10 weeks when I decided to write these goals. In one week I have lost 5 of those lbs simply by being true to the log, Try not to use the extra calorie allowance you get from exercising (unless you had a special occasion that day to bank some calories for). At the end of the day, a pop up gives me further encouragement by telling me where I will be in 5 weeks if I keep it up, so I have a 2nd goal. My 3rd goal is to do SOME exercise (at least 15 minutes) each day. Drink green tea! Try to drink 1/2 your weight in water (ounces). Don't eat fruit with any meal...20 to 30 minutes prior OR 1-2 hours after. I have read studies on that and it actually DOES help with digestion and elimination. Diet sodas are bad for your waist and try to use Stevia as a sweetener if you need some...not Splenda or Equal or any of those artificial sweeteners. Good luck!

jcramer1227

Another poster said it. MAKE yourself get up and do something. I had the same problem when I started, but I knew I wanted to take it slow. I didn't change my diet at first, I would just DO something. Go for a walk, dust the cobwebs off my elliptical and start moving, clean the house, do the dishes, WHATEVER It becomes easier to make yourself get up and move...and sooner or later, you WANT to. That was the best part. Now that I'm pretty solid with my workouts, I'm starting to change up my diet. I've done tons of research, and the posters here are quite helpful!! My piece of advice: just take it slow. If you try to move too fast, the urge to give up may be stronger. That's what worked for me. Good luck!!!

smantha32

Tracking calories helps a lot. Even if you don't jump into some type of exercise right away, being aware of what you're actually eating is an amazing and surprising thing.

PrimalSiren

i can NOT stay motivated!!! years of feeling this way, never feeling pretty, not prom, not my wedding day, NEVER! i have such a beautiful family, so many blessings and things to be thankful for and want to live for but my lack of motivation always kicks my fat butt! has anyone felt this way before starting a weight loss journey that worked? when had you finally had enough!!? i need help, motivation, and even with what to eat, or what diet to go on... some people say "dont call it a diet, you'll give up!" well.... what is it then? my husband and i are going on a mini vacation in august, i'd LOVE to finally feel confident enough to wear something i feel cute in and not feel like i'm embarrasing him with my weight (he denies that i do, but whatever!) i'm not looking for a pity party, i'm looking for real help, real motivation, maybe a group to keep me in check? trying to do this alone has just got me depressed and mad at myself!

my first goal is to lose 40 lbs*
over all goal is 80

Yep, this was me about a year and a half ago. I tried just about anything and everything to lose weight and one day I decided to give up and just stop eating, because eating is what made me fat right? Luckily that same day I came across a post talking about the paleo diet. It was suggested to me as an elimination diet to see if it was triggering some other issues I had. Anyway, I decided to give it a try. It seemed SO extreme and so hard, but I didn't care, I hated myself and I was desperate. I was referred to marksdailyapple.com and the rest was history. I started following the primal lifestyle that day and have never looked back, not even once. I lost all of my weight effortlessly and now here I am maintaining and getting into the fit side of life rather than just the thin side :P It was hard at first to stay away from gluten and other grains, but now I don't even miss them and when I do allow myself to eat them I'm quickly reminded why they're not worth it. I lost so much weight in the first week alone that I was hooked.

For the longest time I would use excuse after excuse as to why I wasn't making any changes in my lifestyle and diet. It was too hard to feed the kids that food, my husband didn't like to eat the way I did, it was too expensive, it was too time consuming. I made daily goals and never reached them, I did all of the "motivational" crap that most people suggest. I guess that stuff works for some people, but it was just another way to let myself down when I failed. Finally I had a breakdown and basically stopped blaming everyone and everything else for MY problem. It took a lot of courage for me to admit that I was the one with the problem and it was 100% my fault. I had spent years trying to lose weight and the only time I actually became successful was when I got mad. Anger was a huge motivator for me. It's not just a lifestyle change, its a diet change. Who cares about what the word means to other people. The only part you need to focus on is the CHANGE.

I don't mean to sound harsh or rude, but sometimes you need to kick your own *kitten* to get it into shape :P I hope you find within yourself the motivation you need to reach your goals.

dragonflyjill

There are a few things I find helpful when I feel fat and unmotivated. Which can happen to anyone. I imagine everyone on here has had moments of doubt and felt unmotivated.

First, I try to focus on what I can do TODAY. I don't think about the forty pounds I want to lose, or the workouts in the coming weeks. I try to measure success in 24 hour increments. Eating healthy for the rest of my life is overwhelming. But today I did pretty good. Eventually the days add up and before you know it, life is different.

I also check my negative self talk. I pretend I am my own best friend. I haven't lost weight in a while, but I haven't gained either. I forgive myself for the past. I was doing the best I could at the time. Today, I can do better. I am not a bad person because I am overweight.

For me, this is much more motivating than beating myself up. I eat healthy and exercise because I deserve it, not to punish myself. This keeps me motivated much more than hating myself.

fantasticelastic

Good on you , you are a young woman with a young child..now is the perfect time to get in shape. It means that you get to enjoy your 20's & 30's..get to go on lovely summer holls with you child and be happy to play in the pool with them. It makes such a difference to feel positive about youself. You no longer feel fed up, a failure in life, taking your frustration out on your family.

What has worked for me is not counting calories but counting carbs. The Atkins book is well worth a read, even if you dont do the extreme version of it. I have found that my energy levels are way up and my form is much better.

Good woman keep at it, you dont want to waste the next 20 years feeling fat and self consious

jdhoward_101

Logging can be scary at first, especially if you go over, but stick with it. I've been trying to lose the stone i put on over winter all this year, but failed miserably. I joined this site and started logging food and exercise and was so ashamed of the amount of calories i was consuming a day; in my head i didn't think it was much, but once i had actually calculated it and put it on paper, it was terrifying. So, i stuck with it, made sure i was eating within my goals and i've lost four pounds in a couple of weeks, which is more than i have all year, and the best bit is it's staying off! I couldn't have done it without the logging, and also without the support of people on this site; just reading the news feed on my profile, seeing how well people are doing, hearing everyone's words of encouragement has kept me going and stick to this path. Good luck!

Maris_Swan

Start thinking of your new life---weight loss is an attainable goal, but it definitely is a long road...and it does not end. I would suggest just making small changes: drink more water, move more, explore healthier food options, etc. Small changes over time make a huge difference. I realize that you'll also have to break a lot of habits that will not help with your success. Just go day to day or even go meal to meal. This is a life change and it cannot be something you commit to occasionally. Also, get in the mode of checking in on MFP, there is a lot of great support here! Best of luck to you

pkw58

Been there, done that. I know logging is the key for me. Just logging my food and water was a start. And reading blogs and success stories here helps everyday.

It is a journey for me. Adding the healthy habit of watching what I eat is pretty firm now. I am adding more activtiy every day by walking,walking, walking and 10 to 20 minutes of yoga/ barre3 daily. If you just start with the bare minimum of activity it helps. my plan called for 20 minutes of walking daily, and standing up for a total of one hour. So I set a reminder on my Microsoft Outlook at work to stand up for 10 minutes every hour.

It sounds silly, but small changes add up to 1) big weight losses over 4 months and 2) habits that add to a healthy lifestyle.

I am 54 years old and am 5'8' and weigh 128 pounds most days save a pound up or down with normal fluctuations. If I can do it, anyone can (I am blond)

AJL437

I agree with what everyone said here. I have 100lbs to lose. When I think about that, I get overwhelmed and want to quit. I don't see how it is even possible. However, when I just think about today and today only. I can do it. I can walk for an hour and log my calories today. I can do that. When I started, I didn't even try to get under the daily amount. I just logged my calories. And over the first couple months, just having that awareness led to some better choices. Figure out what is your commitment to yourself. Mine is to work out every day and to log every day. That's it. It's too overwhelming for me to think of more than that.

Derpes

The key is pushing through when you do not feel motivated.

Sometimes you have to separate attitude and behavior.

FindingHeaven4me

Just one smart decision at a time is all it takes to see the weight come off, I am constantly battling with my choices but I realize that if I take it one choice at a time, it will happen. You can do it, we all can< just hang in there!! That smaller pant size is waiting for you!

move2health

What are your goals? What do you want to achieve? What will it look like when you reach those goals? What will be different about your life? Focus on today and this week, forget about August for right now. What will you do today that is going to help you reach your goal? You are the one in control, no one else. You can sooo totally do this.

lcvaughn520

My advice (what works for me) is:

1. Don't think about the long-term goals too often. Just stay focused on making healthy choices each day. That way, the task won't seem insurmountable. You can eat right and work out today, right?

2. I find that focusing on health and how I FEEL makes a big difference. Really reveling in the post-workout endorphins. Taking a minute as I walk out of the gym to think about how I pushed myself and making a note of how good I feel. That way, even when the scale isn't moving, I am still motivated to go back and keep working because I like working out for its own sake, not just because of where it can get me.

3. This is kind of contradictory to what I just said, but every once in a while, take a minute to really notice how much different/better you look. Maybe like one night every two weeks, just take an honest look in the mirror and notice the changes you are seeing in your body. Last night, when I was trying on some shoes, I thought "hey, my legs are actually looking pretty good!" And seeing and noticing those results made it easier to get up this morning, work out and eat a healthy breakfast.

Above all, just stay strong! You'll have bad days, but don't let it derail all of the progress you've already made!!

Rarity2013

I feel like this every day. I have zero motivation, particularly with exercise.

One person encapsulated everything for me so neatly on a different topic the other day, which is that you need to change your priorities. I have absolutely zero motivation to go to work every morning too, but I have priorities in my life (family, home, buying crap off eBay etc.) which mean it's something I just have to do.

I'm still calling this a diet, because at the moment, I need it to feel new and special while it becomes a priority in my life. Once it is, it will be a complete lifestyle change. For me, it needed to be something I didn't want to do- it had to be something I actually needed to do.

erinsueburns

For what it's worth, my advice is to focus less on the weight goals, especially those big round numbers. First set a reasonable calorie deficit, not two pounds per week, while some people can do that, if you can't it is incredibly demotivating. then focus on small goals, like log every day for a week, then log every day for two weeks. Or eat at least one serving of fruits and vegetables a day for a week then two each for two weeks etc. Or with your exercises, make the goal to improve on them, add weight to your strength training, walk/jog/run a little bit faster or a little bit further.

Focus on small attainable goals gradually increasing them and building on them until they add up to a lifestyle that will give you what you want that you can just keep doing exactly what you did to lose the weight to maintain the weight loss.

mamabear204

i'm in the same boat. when I finally had enough and decided to do something....my first thing was to give up the crappy fast food I had eaten everyday for lunch along with the fountain pop I drink everyday and started drinking more water. my initial result was a GAIN of ten pounds! so much for being motivated! I still tried to watch what I eat and tried logging but I feel like I spend more time in front of the computer trying to figure what to do and how to do it than actually just doing it. FRUSTRATING! well now I've finally lost that 10 pounds so i'm right back where I started I guess. I didn't get outside to do much exercise or walking or anything because well....I just plain *kitten* hate winter, cold, wind, etc. and here in Michigan that's all it's been. now that it's finally getting nice out i'm just plain *kitten* pissed at myself because I still feel fat, exhausted, confused, overwhelmed, and most of all now I don't want it to be nice out cuz I don't want to take my sweatshirt off or get my sandals and capris out

wendyrap2

hola creo ke todos nos emos sentido asi en algun momento!!! a mi me a funcionado pensar que solo es un dia a la vez!!! solo por hoy comere saludable!! solo hoy hare ejercicio y asi sucesivamente!!! trata de entrar a este sitio todos los dias y busca historias de exito!!! de verdad te motiva aseguir!!! animo no estas sola!!! todos estamos contigo!!! besos y abrazos!!

MsipiGRITS

I agree with everything (mostly) that has been said, but I break it down into simple things for myself. Weigh/Track, Log/Eat, Move/Exercise. Adjust as necessary to reach your goal(s). Don't be asleep at the wheel!!! Simpler said than done, but infinitely doable.... Remember, baby steps, and every step is a victory! You can do it...