Asking for help... yuppers ! ! ! 1

RaineyLaney

Only you control the hand your fork is in. Author unknown_____I was looking over some of the message boards (forum) and am just amazed at how many are posting a thread about stalled weight, weight gains, plateau's that go on and on for months. When I looked at the food diarys (of those I could), I would see lots of junk foods, empty calorie foods, mega calorie totals, and soduim out of this world. The best thing about keeping a (truthful-even the cheat days, binges etc) diaries is so you can look back and see what is working and what isn't working. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see if your eating half a chocolate cake for breakfast along with a dozen glazed donuts, 5 sodas (not diet), KFC with all the fixin's, mega fast foods, etc. that you will NOT lose the weight. If you are really serious on your journey, then you need to add fruits and veggies. Make a total life style change in the way you eat. You can not have your cake and eat it too and still lose weight. You can not sit on the couch, lay in bed etc and expect firm toned muscles and no buldges. You can not eat next to nothing to lose that little pouch of a stomache.. That pouch is there because you are starving yourself. Look at the starving children in the commercials. They all have swollen belly's and sunken in eyes. Wake up people and smell the coffee. There is nothing wrong with having a sweet every now and then, but not every single day and then 3 or more in one day and expect to lose weight. If you truely want to change, You have to make the changes to get the change you want. for those that have gotten it down. I applaude you, and for those that ask for help and have nothing but junk food and fast food, ice cream, cookies, cakes etc and no fruits, veggies, I can not help you, You need to wake up and help yourself first. Ok, done with my rant.. Hope you all have a blessed day today


I had posted this on my main page so my friends could see it. (I do a Message of the Day, and this was yesterdays message. Quite a few of my MFP friends said I should post it here on the message boards... so I did.

teebeegeebee

I think thats a fair summary - so many people think its just a case of login, create an account and some miraculous tapping on the keyboard will make it all fall off overnight.
It takes time, hard work, dedication to your goal, commitment and a sense of humour to be able to do this. Above all you need to have an unwavering belief that your goal is achievable - after all its you you are helping and no one else.........

I learn every day on this site and still have a long way to go to get to my goal Im approximately half way, I still see it as Im beginning the journey not ending it

flywithabowtie

No disrespect to all or everyone that logs on to lose weight, but I totally agree. To the posters that log in & their first post is needing help, if they actually introduced theirselves then did a search, they would probably find what they were looking for. Before I make a new post, I search for my topic & if I cant find what I'm looking for then I make a post. I spent a lot of time creeping around & reading for information long before I ever made my first post. I'm glad I did & I'm glad for all the useful information I have received on my journey.

squatsandlipgloss

The main reason I took some time off this board. It drives me nuts seeing the same questions asked 20 times a day, or more. Why can't people do a little search on the boards or use some common sense before they freak out and ask a questions that's been answered 4 threads below...

TavistockToad

I think thats a fair summary - so many people think its just a case of login, create an account and some miraculous tapping on the keyboard will make it all fall off overnight.
It takes time, hard work, dedication to your goal, commitment and a sense of humour to be able to do this. Above all you need to have an unwavering belief that your goal is achievable - after all its you you are helping and no one else.........

so true!

timberowl

I agree.... I eat a LOT of junk and still lose weight, but before i even start logging for the day, I plug in 1/3 of my calories with fruits and veggies, plus one high-fiber and one high-protein item. Whatever's left, I do with as I please.

CindyRip

Glad you posted this, but you already know that OP. I think it is a good wake up call for some and a well expressed comment that many of us would love to share many times over that split second after we read that cry for help from someone that you know just doesn't get what it takes yet. This was wonderfully expressed and sparked a great conversation among friends. So in the interest of promoting discussion. I am going to post my original response to you. Once again OP you have written a well thought out idea that we all can relate to. The original post included a thought about if diaries should be open hence the beginning of this. --- I say contact them in a private message explaining you would love to help them but that their diary's closed. Explain how to open it. If they don't get back to you or open it you know they were just fishing for sympathy and move on. On the other hand in the beginning this program is not just about eating, because that needs to be learned over time for a permanent change, but about support. Someone who has never had much support does not necessarily know how to ask for what they need or even know what it is they need. They are simply crying out for help. I opt. to lean toward compassion in the beginning because the life you may be helping to change may actually be a life your saving. If you knew CPR would you not administer it because the person could not tell you they needed it? Sometimes our support is that CPR.

robert65ferguson

Surely one of the great features about MFP and the Diabetes support group in particular is the non judgemental approach. Non judgemental is not the same as condoning. The average person will eventually get the message and look at the difference between the diaries of those who are successful and compare it with their own. Until they have that "Damascus Rload" moment our role should be to act as examplars and patiently point out areas which could do with improvement. All of us have some areas in our lives which we struggle with. This should keep us humble and help us be more understanding of others.

AmandaReimer1

I somehow missed your message of the day yesterday. Thank you for this post....so true!

ellaloveslove

The only other thing I would add is to have patience! It took time to put the weight on, it isn't going to come off in only a week or two weeks of dieting! Slow and steady is the best way to achieve long lasting results!

LauraDotts

You mean I can't eat chocolate cake for every meal and still lose weight?

81meg1L

Hi Laney:

My husband and best friend, in his 40s diagnosed with a heart condition (improving) and extreme gout (debilitating pain), WAS a very active guy. He still has the calf muscles to prove it. :-) I believe if he abandons junk-food, he can decrease his illness.

In his early 20's he focused intensely on his diet. He gained some dramatically positive results. Now however, in the face of debilitating illness, he absolutely refuses to eat fruits and veggies. I don't know why, but he refuses.

He knows that if he improves his diet, his list of ailments will decrease but he still refuses.

If you check out my page, you'll notice that I too, have my #1 vice: muchisimo FOOD. However, I've found that swapping out crap-food (technical term) for good-food (also technical term) is my greatest help. My husband on more than one occasion has noticed, that fresh foods (apples, bananas, lettuces, green peppers, cucumbers) are indeed faster than "Fast food." I plan to build on this shocking revelation.

The men in my husband's family like feminine women, lean/athletic/slightly curvy/thin/healthy women. For example, my father-in-law was attracted to my mother-in-law because she was (is) a petite hot-pants-wearing size 8. When I met my husband, I was a lean but curvy size 14. While I maintain many classical feminine features, I feel my weight is my No. 1 area that I can most-improve to increase my feminine silhouette. I have made progress. My husband notices the scale creeping downward, but I believe he will definitely notice when I lose the 25#, 50#, 75#, etc. ...You know, the BIG numbers.

I plan to use my new hot bod to motivate him. So far he has been motivated by my walks. He has even joined me for two walks, during last week. Yay!

So while I'm very frustrated that he's not hopping on the "Veggie/Fruit-Wagon", I believe he will hop on, once he sees the gorgeous new driver ...ME! :-)

You all rock!!! I love this site!

81meg1L

I think we have similar ideologies. I try to include a large volume of fruits and veggies, and then add-in convenience foods, in small portions.

Gradually overtime, I notice that recording my calories motivates me to avoid the Chocolate cupcakes and super high fat ice cream.

Good comment!