For all the mamas with stretch marks and wiggle
michellekicks
Posts: 3,624 Member
For all the mamas with stretch marks and wiggle in the belly... this story is for you. I did not write it, but it is so totally worth the read:
http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/03/06/these-are-the-lines-of-a-story/
Throughout my twenties and thirties, I was able to gain and lose pounds with the best of them. But, I was always proud that the front part of my belly stayed flat and muscled…a nod to the thousands of sit ups I did as a gymnast when I was a girl. But, having babies, particularly the twins, changed my flat belly forever. Like someone who has lost a hundred pounds, the skin does not go back again. My stomach hangs low. I can gather my belly in my hands, moving and shaping it like the sweetbread dough I make with my mother at Christmas. And then there are the stretch marks covering the whole front of my midsection. They are a hundred rivulets of red rain streaming down a window, pooling at the sill of my C-section scar in half-inch wide scars that look, to me, like burns.
When I blow dry my hair after a shower, I look at my body in the mirror, and the familiar internal conversation begins. First there is the still present feeling of surprise. That’s me? Then comes the uncontrollable feeling of disgust constricting my throat. But on its heels the thought: wait a minute, these scars are sacred, they represent one of the most significant stories within my story, something I don’t want to forget, and there, right there is evidence of my own rebirth into something more. But I hardly take a breath before my hands are moving to my stomach to stretch it out flat and make it look like a long-gone me. If I could just change this one part…
About 6 months ago, a moment of pure grace happened to me in the middle of one of these internal push-pulls. I was drying my hair and my 3-year-old son, Ben, walked into the bathroom. He played with the lipsticks in the drawer, he asked about my eye make-up remover, and then he looked at me appraisingly and said, “Your belly is funny.” It all began to rise in me: the initial feelings of body shame so deeply programmed in me by my culture, the thoughts I want to feel about the sacredness of my body, and a memory of playing in the leaves with Steve and the boys last fall. We were tickling and rolling in the leaves and one of the boys tickles me and says, “Daddy’s belly is hard and yours is squishy.” “Yes,” I said, “That is right.” But, I had thought: I don’t think I want to play tickle again.
This time, my 3-year-old son is standing in front of me, saying, “Your belly is funny,” and the magic happens. I stood in a place where all the times of my life were present—past, future, and this boy standing in front of me now. Images and sensations of those I love flashed through my mind. I experienced the warmth of Steve’s broad back against mine in bed and the pleasure of recognizing his gait 200 hundred yards before his face comes into focus. I saw the scar under my father’s eye where the horse kicked him. I saw the reading glasses perched on my sister’s distinct elegant English nose as she holds her pen in her long straight fingers making bold careful shapes. And, I saw my own mother putting on make-up after a shower with a towel wrapped around her head while I played with her lipsticks. The curve of her hips, the dough of her soft belly and the silken freckles and cream tone of her skin is beautiful beyond measure. And I understood something.
...
Now visit the link to read the rest: http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/03/06/these-are-the-lines-of-a-story/
http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/03/06/these-are-the-lines-of-a-story/
Throughout my twenties and thirties, I was able to gain and lose pounds with the best of them. But, I was always proud that the front part of my belly stayed flat and muscled…a nod to the thousands of sit ups I did as a gymnast when I was a girl. But, having babies, particularly the twins, changed my flat belly forever. Like someone who has lost a hundred pounds, the skin does not go back again. My stomach hangs low. I can gather my belly in my hands, moving and shaping it like the sweetbread dough I make with my mother at Christmas. And then there are the stretch marks covering the whole front of my midsection. They are a hundred rivulets of red rain streaming down a window, pooling at the sill of my C-section scar in half-inch wide scars that look, to me, like burns.
When I blow dry my hair after a shower, I look at my body in the mirror, and the familiar internal conversation begins. First there is the still present feeling of surprise. That’s me? Then comes the uncontrollable feeling of disgust constricting my throat. But on its heels the thought: wait a minute, these scars are sacred, they represent one of the most significant stories within my story, something I don’t want to forget, and there, right there is evidence of my own rebirth into something more. But I hardly take a breath before my hands are moving to my stomach to stretch it out flat and make it look like a long-gone me. If I could just change this one part…
About 6 months ago, a moment of pure grace happened to me in the middle of one of these internal push-pulls. I was drying my hair and my 3-year-old son, Ben, walked into the bathroom. He played with the lipsticks in the drawer, he asked about my eye make-up remover, and then he looked at me appraisingly and said, “Your belly is funny.” It all began to rise in me: the initial feelings of body shame so deeply programmed in me by my culture, the thoughts I want to feel about the sacredness of my body, and a memory of playing in the leaves with Steve and the boys last fall. We were tickling and rolling in the leaves and one of the boys tickles me and says, “Daddy’s belly is hard and yours is squishy.” “Yes,” I said, “That is right.” But, I had thought: I don’t think I want to play tickle again.
This time, my 3-year-old son is standing in front of me, saying, “Your belly is funny,” and the magic happens. I stood in a place where all the times of my life were present—past, future, and this boy standing in front of me now. Images and sensations of those I love flashed through my mind. I experienced the warmth of Steve’s broad back against mine in bed and the pleasure of recognizing his gait 200 hundred yards before his face comes into focus. I saw the scar under my father’s eye where the horse kicked him. I saw the reading glasses perched on my sister’s distinct elegant English nose as she holds her pen in her long straight fingers making bold careful shapes. And, I saw my own mother putting on make-up after a shower with a towel wrapped around her head while I played with her lipsticks. The curve of her hips, the dough of her soft belly and the silken freckles and cream tone of her skin is beautiful beyond measure. And I understood something.
...
Now visit the link to read the rest: http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/03/06/these-are-the-lines-of-a-story/
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Replies
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That was so beautiful and so true, it made me tear up. Thank you for sharing that.0
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Love this story!0
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I couldn't get your story out of my head. Thank you, for sharing.0
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My husband and I tried for years to get pregnant. Nothing worked. It was awful. I had always struggled with my body, always felt overweight, pudgy, blech. To deal with the stress of not conceiving I exercised a lot, and eventually ended up with a body I was proud of and comfortable with for the first time in my life. But I still wanted a baby.
I remember praying to get pregnant, and promising that if I could, I would let that baby take from me whatever it needed, do whatever it needed to my body, make me as wide and fat and big and round as it needed to to be a healthy, happy baby. And I meant it.
In 2008, I gave birth to my beautiful twins. It was my dream come true. I was 38 years old.
My body will never be the same, and I am okay with that, because my body gave me the two beautiful bodies of my children, healthy happy and strong.
My stretch marks remind me of that glorious time when they were growing in my belly - it was amazing to feel them grow and stretch and push... I loved my pregnant belly, I miss it.
I may want to get in better shape and lose some weight, but I will NEVER hate my baby pouch. It represents a miracle to me, and prayers answered. I am so glad I got the chance to earn those marks!0 -
^^^ Lovely post. Congratulations on your twins. You made me tear up (a very difficult thing to do normally).0
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that is such a great story and so well written. It's given me a different perspective on my saggy belly and all those stretch marks. I have 2 beautiful children that were inside that belly. Great read. Thanks for sharing.0
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Thank you for sharing.0
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Nice message, but gag. Too much sap for my taste. And unnecessarily long.0
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That was incredible...thanks for sharing that.
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Beautiful!0
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I needed to read that today! thank you!
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