How do you deal with HeartBreak??

iBreatheMusic88
iBreatheMusic88 Posts: 115
in Motivation and Support
I dont want to go back to eating like a pig... Did that for a week and it just didnt make me feel better at all... lol How have you deal with a relationship ending? Because all Im doing is stressing out, working out, but stressing out. :brokenheart:
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Replies

  • aprils151
    aprils151 Posts: 3 Member
    I started painting :) I found a new passion and it has made me some new friends. I also feel better about myself and happier. I think you should find something your interested in and run with it, see where it takes you!!!!!
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
    Cry, talk about it, kick *kitten* at the gym. Have the occasional therapy session with Drs. Ben and Jerry. Keep my eye on the prize. The pain sucks, but is temporary.
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    Dealing with a relationship ending is not easy. Don't add to the hurt by not taking care of yourself. I keep as busy as I possibly can, either spending time with friends or working on projects at home. The idea is not to escape thinking about it (it will be hard to stop that) but to not wallow in it. And as hard as it may be, keep working out and eating healthy, keep taking care of yourself.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    Nothing took away my appetite like being dumped. I felt too ill to eat for weeks. It doesn't help when that person who broke up with you feels guilty and won't leave you the F alone so you can get on with your life, though. So if there's any of that going on, cut it out.

    I funneled my pain into anger-fueled exercise.
  • iBreatheMusic88
    iBreatheMusic88 Posts: 115
    Thanks Ladies... I know you all would understand... This crap hurts... I think id rather be punched in the face at this point... :sad:
  • Olguitabonita
    Olguitabonita Posts: 16 Member
    I read this book called "The Power of Now". I am a very emotional person, and the only way to get me out of the funk was to go deep in and find my inner strength. Also grab on to your best friend and just be sad! Don't hide it, don't mask it. Give yourself a "sad allowance" per week...and then move on until you get the next one!. It's silly but it gets you off your butt...I hope it helps :O)
  • SarahLou1111
    SarahLou1111 Posts: 59
    Distract yourself! My new diet and exercise regime is really helping me...I am NOT going to sabotage myself by emotional eating, I am going to eat healthily and get fit!

    I believe in the old saying that time is a great healer, one month on and I still hurt like hell all day, every day but I know it will get better for me with time and it will for you too.
  • Citrislazer
    Citrislazer Posts: 312 Member
    Hmmm... That's a tough one. Everyone grieves in their own way. When I found out my ex of 6 years cheated on me, I cried, didn't eat or get out of bed for about 4 days. Being around people who cared most about me really helped as did seeing a therapist for several sessions. I also did the things I enjoyed most more often. I kept busy and distracted.

    I didn't want to live with any regrets, so I asked him to try couples therapy. But, he just wasn't having any of it, so no amount of therapy was going to help. Turns out he was lying to me about many things, and was screwed up in the head but hid it very well from everyone. :indifferent: But I'm happier knowing I did all that I could. I have no regrets.

    Now, I have an amazing boyfriend (almost 2 years) who treats me like a princess. We rarely disagree on things. It's the easiest relationship I've ever had and I'm the happiest I've ever been. I just hope I make him as happy as he makes me. :smile:

    So know, their is someone out there for you. You just need to find that person and you need to be open to finding that person. This means being happy by yourself first. When you're a happy person, people are naturally attracted to you. After I quit grieving and was happy being by myself, I got hit on by guys like crazy with no initiation on my part. It felt really awkward because I wasn't used to so much attention. I hadn't been single for 6 years. You'll get hit on lots too once you're content being by yourself. Look forward and enjoy all the attention you're gonna get. :wink:

    When you feel better, try signing up for an online dating account. I met my boyfriend through Match.com. Though, I had to weed through a lot of crazies on Match.com, lol. Eharmony did seem to be a little better in my opinion.

    I pray you feel less stressed and incredibly happy soon. :flowerforyou:
  • lisamarie1780
    lisamarie1780 Posts: 432 Member
    throw yourself into something else.
    Don't drink... it doesn't help. Don't binge eat, you will feel even worse about yourself.
    Stay positive, focus on the future, not what's been and gone as you can't change it no matter how much you want to. Make plans, have some goals and start working towards them without looking back....

    And soon, before you know it, you will be a long way down the road to recovery and everything will be looking good :)
  • aortiz75
    aortiz75 Posts: 3
    I actually loose mad weight when I'm super stressed by a break-up or a major trauma like death or illness of a family member. When my brother died I lost over 10lbs in a week. It's good but its not when you get your appetite back.

    I workout a lot and try to eat as healthy as possible when this is happening so I wont create the bad habits again!
    I know it may be bad but I drink a glass of white wine every few days to take the edge off. NOT EVERYDAY OR EVERY WEEKEND, just like once a week or something.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,260 Member
    I can't eat. My stomach gets knotted and just the thought of food makes me feel worse. Which is just as bad as binging.

    I write a letter to the other person.... get out all my feelings and thoughts. But then I put it in a drawer and start moving on.
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
    I dont want to go back to eating like a pig... Did that for a week and it just didnt make me feel better at all... lol How have you deal with a relationship ending? Because all Im doing is stressing out, working out, but stressing out. :brokenheart:

    Do something good for yourself that will benefit you instead of something destructive that wont.
  • Deak2013
    Deak2013 Posts: 30
    Ranger up and hit the gym big man. You'll be all sorts of good in a few weeks. We've all been there!
  • goodtimezzzz
    goodtimezzzz Posts: 640 Member
    Realizing its the BEST thing for you! let it go and move on...you are awesome...and will only learn grow from this my man!!
    Kristian Rocco nyc
  • daterminedfatburnerX
    daterminedfatburnerX Posts: 346 Member
    These are my 3 things that help me
    1. Angry rock music
    2. Exercise
    3. Video games

    I hope that was some what helpful
    I just got out of a relationship not to long ago
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    I lose weight, because I'm too miserable and sick to my stomach to even think about food. Music helps a little.
  • aortiz75
    aortiz75 Posts: 3
    It can be hard. In the past things have been hard but if you look at it as a lesson, the pain subsides and you wont feel the same on your next break up. Break-ups happen because things are broken and they are not meant to be fixed with that person. They are meant to be a passage to maturity in relationships to learn and not do the same in your next relationship.
  • namluv
    namluv Posts: 194 Member
    If you do the keep busy route to distract yourself I would suggest volunteering for underprivileged somewhere - nothing makes you feel better about your life than seeing how much worse it could be and the lift from helping someone is like no other.
  • Hike_higher
    Hike_higher Posts: 86
    Once you've had a good cry climb off the pity pot and get busy with anything that makes you happy !! Disclaimer: anything that won't get you arrested or have bad long term consequences :) Get involved with anything healthy!
  • Garthamatic
    Garthamatic Posts: 84 Member
    Ranger up and hit the gym big man. You'll be all sorts of good in a few weeks. We've all been there!

    This.

    Exercise can be a cathartic outlet for a lot of emotional energy. Just be careful you don't overdo it while you're channeling the rage and hurt into making your body more awesome than it already was.
  • lcvaughn520
    lcvaughn520 Posts: 219 Member
    Think about how awesome it will feel to see that person again and look your best yet! Throw your energy into working out/other active pursuits. Find a new hobby, read, volunteer - stay busy!
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    I have no idea. And when you find out please let me know.
  • M______
    M______ Posts: 288 Member
    I dont want to go back to eating like a pig... Did that for a week and it just didnt make me feel better at all... lol How have you deal with a relationship ending? Because all Im doing is stressing out, working out, but stressing out. :brokenheart:

    I know it flat out sucks, but all the things you feel like avoiding. Seeing friends, socializing, work, healthy and positive rest, activities etc. Its those things that are a real support group. Its the rest of your life that you have to fall back on, and that will help to revitalize you.

    A lot of the time I feel like my brain and 'me' are 2 different entities. My brain is full of bad ideas, but I have to say no and choose what I know is the better option. Being a little forceful now will pay a lot of benefits in the long term. It also really helps with motivation which I think is what 'just doing it' really is.
  • CarlottatheBrain
    CarlottatheBrain Posts: 13
    I focused on myself. Getting to know myself all over again.
  • minijag06
    minijag06 Posts: 70
    Focus on positive things. Working out makes you look and feel great! Focus!!!!!
  • IamBlackMamba
    IamBlackMamba Posts: 229
    Just break up and move on.
  • ames105
    ames105 Posts: 288 Member
    The love of my life died unexpectedly from a heart attack in January, talk about heartbreak! I spent most of February in a fog but I continued to exercise and care for myself because that's what he would have wanted. By March, I realized I wasn't doing myself any good, I still have to live. I forced myself to go out on a date, just to get out of the house, and I unexpectedly meet a really nice guy. Its been a bit of a struggle, still grieving while having fun with the new guy, but I'm so glad I made myself keep moving.

    The point is, take care of yourself, you'll feel better from eating properly and exercising. Then, when a little time has passed, put yourself back out there. You seem like a great person, some girl will see that very soon and consider herself lucky to have met you!

    Good luck in your journey!
  • iangelbailey10
    iangelbailey10 Posts: 51 Member
    Take care of yourself first and foremost... eating away the pain will only hurt you more. Allow yourself to feel the hurt, and then realize that you are going to be just fine without them. Then, start rebuilding your life one step at a time. Falling always stinks.. but getting back up and being better is always a good thing! Good luck to you!!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Honestly, time is the only thing that's going to fix it, but working out certainly helps in the meantime. I was never the binge eat type when it came to getting over a breakup. I am typically less likely to eat and more likely to kill it in the gym and perhaps buy some new clothes.
  • flobeedoodle
    flobeedoodle Posts: 176 Member
    Ranger up...
    I am stealing this phrase.

    As far as heartbreak, I rationalize everything. If he/she/it were good for me, he/she/it would care about me and still want to be in a relationship with me. He/she/it no longer wants to be in a relationship with me, therefore he/she/it is no good for me. If he/she/it is no good for me, I do not want to be around him/her/it. I might be mildly annoyed that he/she/it beat me to terminating what was obviously an unproductive relationship, but I would feel like that was a failure on my part to correctly evaluate the relationship. And just like that, heartbreak disappears in a puff of logic, and I am left with only a small sense of intellectual inadequacy. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

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