Looking for thoughts, opinions etc.

michellepero

I just thought I'd write to seek out others thoughts and opinions. Part of my fitness journey is going well. I am partially in the mindset that I am motivated because I want to be healthy and feel good and live a long life. The other part of me just cannot let go of the mindset that I feel society and family has drilled into me for my 32 years on the planet that I am supposed to be thin and I am supposed to look a certain way. I am 5'2, I have muscle and I have curves, and I weigh 124 pounds currently. I have worked hard over the past four months and lost about 8 pounds. (I've constantly fluctuated my adult life but never really gone higher then 132). This time I've done really well. I have completely changed my eating habits and made sure to get some type of fitness on a daily basis.

I injured my foot four weeks ago and have been unable to do cardio as much as I would like and the past few weeks have really brought me down. I've sunk hard into that, "I must lose four pounds because I must weigh 120". I'm not sure why I must weigh 120. I see pictures of myself and my ab musles are great, my legs are strong, but I still pick out these imaginary flaws because I'm not skinny, scrawny like models, actreses, etc. You woudl think by this age you would be over that kind of thinking.

I guess I just wanted to put this out there and get some feedback. I hope this doesn't come across whiny. Honestly just looking for some postive reinforcement . I get down on myself if I haven't done a hard core balls to the wall kind of workout. I make a little excercise seem like a negative, that I didn't do enough, when really it should be a positive.