Dealing with BDD

firstloveyourself

I know MFP isn't a big group therapy session but I just want to talk about something for a moment.

I have body dysmorphic disorder. I have gotten better in the past year or so, but at one point in my life I was too ashamed of myself and my body to leave the house (ironically, I was about 20 pounds lighter than I am now). In 2009 I took a three-week vacation to Europe; it was amazing, but I cannot look at pictures of myself from that trip without thinking about how hideously fat I am.

I am scared that this will never go away. I want a regular life--I want to fall in love, I want to get married, I want to have a child. I've fallen in love twice but have ultimately been rejected because of my weight. I don't blame either person--physical attraction is one of the most important things in a relationship, and you shouldn't have to fake it. I was talking with my best friend--whom I have known for almost 11 years--and mentioned my wish to lose weight so I can have more confidence. She told me something that has stuck with me: "You could be a size 2 and still think you're fat. It's not your body that needs to change, but your mind."

How can I change my views of myself though? Honestly, I'm too ashamed to tell my therapist about this problem. I told one therapist about it a few years ago, and she told me, "You have nothing to worry about! You look just fine." How can I see that for myself? I hate people who "fish" for compliments and I feel like when I talk about this problem I'm doing exactly that. Has anyone here overcome BDD, and if so how?

PaigeAnderson100

I also BDD, please add me!

I don't have any advice on how to "get over it" because, even on medication- I think what I think. When I look in the mirror, I see someone disgusting and the only piece of advice I have for you is to not give up losing weight no matter what circumstances you're under. You start to feel much better when you are seeing results and knowing that you are doing a good job at bettering your body and by doing so, you're bettering your mind.

I am in a different boat because, I have a daughter and I am engaged so, I have fallen in love and had all of the upsides of life already but, nothing feels complete because, I don't feel good enough or complete with myself.

MFP isn't a therapy session, no but, don't ever feel like you can't come on here to get support from other's who might be going through some of the same things that you are.

I can honestly say though from personal opinion, you are beautiful. Your profile picture shows a lot about your personality and to me it shows me that you don't act very confident because you are insecure about the way that you look- I know from experience that acting like you're happy is much easier said than done.

Just don't give up the weight loss. You can message me now and add me... once I get my phone working again, we can text also! DOn't be a stranger!

firstloveyourself

Thank you so much

soldiergrl_101

I know MFP isn't a big group therapy session but I just want to talk about something for a moment.

I have body dysmorphic disorder. I have gotten better in the past year or so, but at one point in my life I was too ashamed of myself and my body to leave the house (ironically, I was about 20 pounds lighter than I am now). In 2009 I took a three-week vacation to Europe; it was amazing, but I cannot look at pictures of myself from that trip without thinking about how hideously fat I am.

I am scared that this will never go away. I want a regular life--I want to fall in love, I want to get married, I want to have a child. I've fallen in love twice but have ultimately been rejected because of my weight. I don't blame either person--physical attraction is one of the most important things in a relationship, and you shouldn't have to fake it. I was talking with my best friend--whom I have known for almost 11 years--and mentioned my wish to lose weight so I can have more confidence. She told me something that has stuck with me: "You could be a size 2 and still think you're fat. It's not your body that needs to change, but your mind."

How can I change my views of myself though? Honestly, I'm too ashamed to tell my therapist about this problem. I told one therapist about it a few years ago, and she told me, "You have nothing to worry about! You look just fine." How can I see that for myself? I hate people who "fish" for compliments and I feel like when I talk about this problem I'm doing exactly that. Has anyone here overcome BDD, and if so how?

I had BDD really bad, still do but not nearly as drastic. I would pop ephedra 7+ pills a day, throw up my food and some weeks would go with out food all together. I was a size 5 and smaller than I have been ever sense, but in the mirror and in pictures I was a beached whale. It wasnt until I found things about myself that I did like that i didnt focus on my weight as much, such as my eyes, or my drive. Then once I went off to Basic Training the military whipped me into shape and I was good, the thoughts were still there but in the back of my mind I knew I was fit so I tried to focus on other things

soldiergrl_101

Dont get me wrong its still there and i still focus on my weight more than anyone I know, but atleast now I am not bulemic, or anorexic and I have learned to enjoy life

zaftiggirl

I read a book called "A Course In Weight Loss" that had to do with emotional eating and body image and it completely changed the way I was looking at things... I would recommend it to anyone, and recommend a box of tissues to go with! I'm usually a very skeptical person but I tried to keep an open mind with this and it was worth it.

It does make a lot of mention of God, so if you're non-religious or atheist it won't be a good fit.

cherylfowler

My 17-year old daughter (who, despite being an athlete, struggles with her weight) shared these words of wisdom the other day. "Mom, I'm tired of worrying about what others think of me. From now on, its what "I" think of me." She continues to strive to eat healthy and she exercises daily. Now, at last, she understands that a healthy lifestyle is a better, more sustainable goal than being a Size 2.

My sage advice is to work on being healthy and fit and take pride in your efforts.

firstloveyourself

My 17-year old daughter (who, despite being an athlete, struggles with her weight) shared these words of wisdom the other day. "Mom, I'm tired of worrying about what others think of me. From now on, its what "I" think of me." She continues to strive to eat healthy and she exercises daily. Now, at last, she understands that a healthy lifestyle is a better, more sustainable goal than being a Size 2.

My sage advice is to work on being healthy and fit and take pride in your efforts.

See, I am only worrying about what I think of me...but I'm not a very big fan of myself.

Brad805

You might want to read Michael Ruiz's book called the four agreements. My coach suggested it to me and it did help. I didn't particularly care for the religious tone in parts, but it was still a very good book. Part of the journey to a healthier you needs to include adjusting some of the mental ideals we grow attached to over the years. That will take some practice.