Eat clean/ fatloss successes...HELP

octleigh

I was hoping for some advice. I started an eat clean in April challenge and made it the first 20 days. I felt awesome. Tons of energy, dropping a couple pounds, running almost everyday, and I could turn down just about anything. All at once it got harder and harder until now I wake up feeling sad and hopeless. I ate crappy foods and could barely chug water. (I was drinking a gallon) this is textbook for me and seems to last a week or two every menstrual cycle. I'm like two different people eating clean and running my but off Chrissy and lazy foodaholic Chrissy. I plan to challenge myself again this May I feel better when I eat better. I refuse to give up and I am desperate to find the old self confident me. I know she is inside of this 200 pound body. Do you have any advice for me on how to push through this hurdle without undoing my efforts each month. Thank you for listening. ????