I don't know how to feel good about myself.

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13

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  • jamzinaz
    jamzinaz Posts: 2
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    I've struggle with weight my whole life. I've lost and gained the same weight repeatedly. I restarted my adventure again last May. I call it an adventure for my motivation. Sometimes it's smooth sailing and sometimes it's a rough climb. Finding ways to motivate myself is always a challenge, because it's so much easier to give up on the bad days then it is to keep going.

    So far, I've been able to lose 30 lbs which is great and I'm really proud but I've struggle with motivation because I haven't had to buy new clothes. I've lost all over but not enough to change my size. That's really hard to grasp and sometimes has made me feel like I'm not doing enough or not trying. I finally realized that I can only work as hard as I'm able and that my body is adjusting to what I'm doing. To motivate myself, I started looking at parts of myself. OK, so I haven't changed sizes, but I can see how lose my pants are in the legs or just a little easier to button. And My t-shirts are no longer tight across the back. It's made me happy by focusing on the little things.

    I've also tried to stop focussing on the numbers. That's been a big motivation. Some weeks, I work out 5 days and see no change and other times I would work out once and see a change. By focusing on how I feel and less on the numbers I am feeling better about my journey.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    Men just lose weight easier and faster than women. However, they die younger and WE have multiple orgasms, so it evens out. :)



    OP - you need to find your motivation within. No one else can give it to you. The good news about that is no one can take it away either.

    THIS. Just this x 1,000,000
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
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    There's no secret to it or anything we can really tell you. It's inside you!

    Try looking into different TYPES of exercise if the treadmill isn't inspiring you. Try group classes. Zumba is amazing for weight loss and almost always all women.

    Make a new workout playlist.
    Buy new workout clothes you feel good in.
    Look up positive affirmations and practice saying them with INTENTION three times a day.

    Most importantly; the only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. :flowerforyou:
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    "Do Things You Love" Thanks to Bri for that.

    Seriously...start simple.

    Have a dog? Take it for a walk
    Don't? Still go for that walk
    Ride A bike
    Swim
    Hike
    Do Karate
    Have sex
    Garden

    I get where you are coming from, I promise you that. This is something that I struggle with on a daily basis.

    Take 30 minutes a day and go for that walk..outside. You don't need to kill yourself on the treadmill,elliptical, or weights. Just take that 30 minute walk. It helps, I promise.

    One day at a time...

    & get yourself a hug, it sounds like you need it..
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
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    What's worked for me is to have set days when I can eat the "naughty" foods. I eat pretty much whatever I want (within reason) on Saturdays and Sundays. The rest of the time, I'm eating at a deficit that will allow me to indulge a bit on weekends and not exceed my calorie goal. This has worked for me because when I get that craving for french fries, for example, I can put it out of my head by knowing that on Saturday I can eat them. When Saturday comes, I sometimes don't even want them anymore, but if I do, it's even nicer because I've been looking forward to them.
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
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    When you catch yourself mindlessly eating, you need to look at WHY you turned to food. Are you stressed? Are you overwhelmed? Are you lonely or bored? Find the reason and address it. That will help with the eating.

    As far as the gym, you just have to do it. Some of the other posters are right - you have to find the motivation inside yourself and do this for you or it will never stick. It's not a competition with your husband and it's not up to him or anyone else to get you to do it. You can find good support on here or at the gym but the bottom line is, what you put in your mouth and what you do with your body are your choices and you are fully responsible for them.

    I know that sounds harsh but it's the road I just traveled over the past 6 months. Until I stopped and took a good hard look at me, I wasn't getting anywhere. Get professional counseling if you have to. Overeater's Anonymous might help if you can't afford counseling. Find an alterntive to food for those time that seem to push you in that direction.

    You should feel good about you because who you really are is not about your body. It's about your personality, your heart and your spirit. Single out things that you do like about yourself. Write them down and put them where you can see them like your bathroom mirror. Speak only positive things over yourself. What would you tell a friend if she wrote what you did? Tell that to yourself and believe it. When your mind goes to that negative place, say out lout, "that is a lie." We have to train our minds to think positively, especially if we've been a long time in that negative place.

    I wish you the best on this journey.
  • lausmit4477
    lausmit4477 Posts: 30 Member
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    OP - you need to find your motivation within. No one else can give it to you. The good news about that is no one can take it away either.



    ^Yep!
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Start the Couch to 5k program. When you are running for 30 minutes straight at the end of 9 weeks, you'll feel awesome about yourself.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    Start the Couch to 5k program. When you are running for 30 minutes straight at the end of 9 weeks, you'll feel awesome about yourself.

    Of course, that's only if you like running...
  • Krys_140
    Krys_140 Posts: 648 Member
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    Two things.

    1) When you're really ready, you'll dispense with the excuses, and just get down to business.

    2) When you do that, no one and nothing can stop you.
  • Goin4goal
    Goin4goal Posts: 129 Member
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    "Why does everyone have to be so mean!!!!"

    WTF? This was meant to be funny. There is NOTHING mean about it. Jeez...



    I thought it was REALLY funny!!
  • shewhostamps
    shewhostamps Posts: 7
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    I think there is a lot of helpful advice on this thread. I agree, don't compare yourself to your husband, and if wearing his old clothes isn't helping your body image, get some cute workout clothing for yourself. I thought I'd never find workout clothes to fit me, but I found my workout wear at Old Navy. They don't sell plus size in the store, but they do online, and you can often get a coupon code and free shipping as well as free returns.

    I think most people at the gym are worried about themselves, how they look, and they aren't using their time to judge you. And even if they were, a stranger's opinion about your body says nothing about YOU, but a lot about them. People like that aren't worth your time and attention. Trust me, it's not worth your energy to worry about them! Life is short, but if you want it to feel long, spend it worrying about trivial stuff like this!

    Do not worry about the time it takes to complete a goal, that time will pass anyway, and you might as well spend it working toward something positive in your life. You're already way ahead of all the people who aren't even trying! There are so many things to be happy about and grateful for- focus your energy there! You can do this! :flowerforyou:
  • mangobadango
    mangobadango Posts: 294 Member
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    I feel so right there with you. Lost weight last year and was hyper focused on the whole process. After a set back at the beginning of this year I haven't been able to hold onto that old motivation. Realized this morning that I don't feel adequate and am in a never ending cycle.

    I will definitely be reading through this thread when I have time and if anyone wants to add me as a friend, just send me a request with a note.
  • mzjessicaxo
    mzjessicaxo Posts: 330 Member
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    Feel free to join me and my motivational group on facebook :)

    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Canadian-Beach-Body-Babes/499348756795971

    We would love to help you stay motivated!
  • Toadlily
    Toadlily Posts: 17
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    there is a book by judith beck called the beck diet solution that helps with the self-sabotage and motivation issues that you have when you are trying to make a really big change. you can check it out of your library. it took me about 5 years to lose 10 pounds, but i kept trying, kept educating myself, kept reading success stories, kept learning new healthy habits - and a whole bunch of those habits have stuck so well that i know that i will be able to get the remaining 20 off this year.

    many posters have said that the motivation comes from within - and it really does - you may have the motivation inside you and then talk yourself out of being motivated - that's what self-sabotage is.

    it's hard work - really hard work to use up the energy we've stored on our bodies. the great news is, it's possible - but fortunately, there's tons of help available. good luck!
  • Sandreeuhh
    Sandreeuhh Posts: 39
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    Thanks everyone for some new ideas and advice.

    I know I shouldn't compare myself to my husband... but it's really hard not to since I see him everyday.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    I see my husband every day, too. I wouldn't want to compare myself to him. He's too wide in the shoulders, too small in the boobs, too flat in the *kitten*, and he has HAIR all over his FACE! :)
  • Sandreeuhh
    Sandreeuhh Posts: 39
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    I see my husband every day, too. I wouldn't want to compare myself to him. He's too wide in the shoulders, too small in the boobs, too flat in the *kitten*, and he has HAIR all over his FACE! :)

    Hahaha. I guess you are right.
  • Wendysworld13
    Wendysworld13 Posts: 225 Member
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    You have what is known as a compulsive eating disorder. The comments you have gotten about doing this for yourself and not coparing yourself to your husband are all great, but until you get to the root of your problem - the compulsive eating, you will only be putting a bandaid on what truly needs a stitch. Please, go and get some counseling - it is SO WORTH IT, because YOU ARE WORTH IT! If you can't afford it, or your health insurance won't pay for it check with your local county Department of Social Services - they often know of counselors who work on a sliding scale or sometimes there are even free clinics.
    Please believe me, I am speaking from experience, mine. I could diet all year and then put it all back on because until I worked on the root of the problem, what causes my uncontrolled eating, I couldn't get a handle on it and it is always the same yo yo!
    I wish you loads of luck!
  • Sandreeuhh
    Sandreeuhh Posts: 39
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    I thought about counseling. but I don't really like talking about things with strangers. it's weird.

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